Home Sweet Simple Home

The fridge is coming home!

Your heavenly Father knows your needs. He will always give you all you need from day to day. ~ Luke 12:30-31

We made our own family fun- under $10

Dropping in with bits of news

Life is very busy here at the Yellow Townie Farmhouse.
We started some big projects this weekend which got even bigger when Mr. Steady went to replace a door and found rotted boards . . . . .
Anyhoo- that's why I've been so scarce. Hope to get in a couple of posts this week inbetween projects.
Wait until I show you what we've been up to . . . . . .
In Other News:
Father's Day was wonderful. The kiddos gave Mr. Steady an ice cream maker plus the fixings and I made him a special book (courtesy of Shutterfly.com) full of pictures of him and the kiddos with notes about all the things we love about him.
I am glad I write my menu plans in pencil. The menu plan for last week and this week are "works in progress" as the projects have messed with the cooking and now the heat messes with the cooking too. Tonight we are having BLT's and then heading off to Mr. Steady's softball game (ice cream at Nana and PawPaw's later).
My sister-in-love and her kiddos have invited my kiddos to their VBS this week and we said yes. This is proving to be more trouble than I thought to follow thru with. It runs from 5:30 to 8:30 pm. It's about a 30 minute drive. This means my kids either eat dinner @ 4:30 pm or 9 pm. Yesterday they had early supper but then wanted a big snack when they got home later.
Tonight we won't be going as it is Mr. Steady's game nite but . . . . . there's Wed. and Thurs. still and what will we do about supper?
I'm thinking nachos or ham sandwiches and then perhaps a snack in the car after we pick them up- like trail mix or a quick bread.
So- life is busy and home repairs are in the works and it's hotter than hot and and on and on and on.
One thing remains the same:
God is good.
All
The
Time.

The Fridge and finding my happy place

When life gives you lemons . . . .

Making lemonade from lemons.
It seems our problem just may be that the freezer froze and created large amounts of “snow” that may or may not have created frozen blockage that may or may not be preventing cool/cold air to get to the fridge below.
So- everything is out of the freezer and Mr. Steady is using my handiest kitchen gadget- the Pampered Chef scraper, to clean out the “snow”.
Reminder: This MAY work . . . .
and then again, it may not.
Praying.
Now to the lemonade part- The kids took the “snow” outside for a snowball fight. Not only that but they decided to put on winter coats.
Mr. Conductor looked adorable in his winter coat, too-small scarf, yellow rain boots and shorts. What an ensemble.
They had a blast and they all provided me with some much needed laughter to lighten the load.
Sigh.

Daily loaded with Benefits

Blessed be the Lord, who daily loads us with benefits! Psalm 68:19

It’s glorious out today!
Just yesterday a friend asked me how “the resting” is going. I took a moment to think and told her quite truthfully that it is going quite well. I am learning to be still and enjoy simple things.
Like morning devotions with the kids.
Prayer rocks (post coming).
Sitting on a blanket in the shade with kids and books.
Going to the park.
Longer, deeper quiet times.
Finding days where I don’t feel at all pulled in to get on the computer or online.
And so much more.
One other thing I’ve learned, even though it’s only been a few weeks since I quit . . . . I’ve found that right now I simply cannot multi-task to the level I once could. Handling days with more than a couple activities or trying to do 3 or 4 things at once swamps me with heavy overwhelming-ness. It tires me physically and emotionally. I have prayed about this and thought on it and I do believe that God has shown me that this is no longer necessary- I don’t have to do it and so he’s making it so I really don’t want to do it! He’s released me from the need to be constantly active in so many different ways and is teaching me how to “simply be” and because I have so much to learn He’s made it so it gives me a headache if I try and kick the speed up a notch or two.
When I first realized this it annoyed me. It was a pride thing- I took pride in doing and accomplishing so many different things at a time and doing it all well. I enjoyed and was energized from the challenges . . . . and now . . . .
Not so much.
I quickly got past the annoyance when I admitted the pride and asked God to forgive me for it and deliver me from it!
Now, I make adjustments as necessary- even on the fly. When I begin to feel swamped and overwhelmed, I re-evaluate what I’m doing and make changes. Sometimes that means saying No to a good thing- like going to the beach for the day with friends. Sometimes, I tell the family I need an hour of quiet time and I take it!
That’s been hardest- taking the time for those quiet moments God has made necessary for me. At first, I had a lot of guilt to overcome- overachiever guilt Mr. Steady often calls it- the guilt I felt that I needed the quiet time, that I should be doing anything but taking time away from all the things I need to be doing.
I am glad I talked with Mr. Steady about this when it was first bothering me. His response was that there wasn’t much of anything in my life that couldn’t wait or be put on hold for 60 minutes. Even supper. Besides, he stated, everyone would benefit from the momma being in a better frame of mind after a bit of a respite.
Such a smart, steady man.
So I continue to learn what this new normal is for me.
Eight years in ministry and the habits I formed within it is harder to “walk away from” than I thought.
However, I am enjoying these new challenges of learning to slow down and do less in more time . . . .
So opposite of what I’ve done for so long.
A good opposite.
This week I plan to tackle “the storage room” in bits and pieces.
Even in fits and starts.
I’ll concentrate on cleaning out one corner.
15 minutes at a time.
And if I only do one 15 minute segment in one day . . . .
I will be proud of what I accomplished.

Gardens, life and rain

I puttered and weeded in the garden yesterday evening.
Mr.  Steady planted the veggies I purchased and mowed the yard.
Mr. Conductor hauled his wagon back and forth dumping the piles upon piles [I made as I weeded] into the compost then would come back for another load.
And another load. He and Maiden also captured a toad.
He calls him “Toady”.
Maiden worked diligently in the girls’ fairy garden. Planting, weeding, rearranging the little houses and pebbles and fairies.
Sassafras weeded and carted and carried. And arranged her little fairy abode.
Everyone enjoyed fun work out in the beautiful cool evening.
Gardening never ceases to relax me. I can’t help but be thankful for the work of our family’s hands and the good Lord’s provision. Everything is growing well- in spite of some night-time nibbling visitors. We are hoping from much bounty from our gardens this year. Hoping to have extra to share.
While I was gardening I couldn’t help but think on how we try to live countrified farm life in little bits while still living smack dab in the middle of our little town. I look at the wash hanging on the line, taking notice that there is no one else on our block that hangs wash and I think of how blessed I am that there isn’t an ordinance against it. The wash hanging on the line, the gardens all lush and green, the 5 gallon buckets lined up under the eaves to catch the coming rainwater . . . . . not really city living. As I garden, I think of how much it would cap things off if we could just have a few chickens. As we understand it- you can have x amount of chickens in town but no roosters. We have not pursued this as of yet because Mr. Steady and my momma were talking of possibly having chickens at my parent’s. It’s still just talking. I can wait. It’s just that’s a nice thought.
This morning the rain filled up the rain bucket system to overflowing. Since it wasn’t thundering and lightning and the kidlets were acting antsy- I sent them out in the rain with boots, coats and umbrellas. Mr. Conductor caught another Toady (who knows it may be the same one) and they unplugged the drain in the road in front of our house while they were splish-splashing. We are thankful for the constant downpour- it soaks up in the garden and fills the rain buckets- saving us on water bills. Plus I’m hoping it rained hard enough to wash the bird dirties off the car. Ugh!

Top photo: Granny Smith Apple tree and "box" gardens (lettuce, tomatoes, onions) out back behind the house- photoshopped with colored pencil filter- from the looks of the picture- you can't tell we live in town!
Bottom photo: My 3 in the rain this morning!

Donuts for supper

Ding Dong the Fridge is Dead

I cleaned the fridge on Saturday. Which is coincidently the day it stopped working.
We realized it wasn’t working late Sunday nite.
We worked on it on Monday.
I got 3 coolers on Monday and put the rest in the freezer and a fridge 10 miles from home (not exactly easy access).
Mr. Steady talked to a repair guy and worked on it on Tuesday.
I stared at it and contemplated kicking it.
The kids and I prayed.
He worked on it on Wednesday.
The kids and I prayed.
He worked on it on Thursday.
The kids and I prayed.
He had the handy older and wiser neighbor guy come and tinker on it with him.
TOD: 5:06 pm Thursday evening.
It is not an easy fix.
It would cost us $75 for a repair house call and $75 for the 1^st half hour.
That’s a lot of money without even the promise of being able to fix it.
There’s a used/reconditioned appliance store in the big city 45 minutes north of us. The guy on the phone said they’ve got fridges in the size we need for around $300.
We’re going to that store Friday after Mr. Steady gets out of work.
The kids and I are still praying.
I am reminding myself this is why we have an emergency fund.
And I am thankful for it.
My perspective could perhaps have been a bit different on this in some ways . . . . if half the buttons on the telephone weren’t freezing up on us, the little add-on strip to the side door of the car wasn’t coming off and ca-thumping on the side of the car and the toilet wasn’t running so constantly that you have to either shake it to bits or turn it off at the valve.  The battery on my cell won’t keep a charge. The kids have outgrown their bedroom and we can’t hold off much longer on the 3 room remodel.
I quit my job.
Our health insurance costs will go up in July.
But- perspective is also this:
No matter what
I will PRAISE HIM.
Therefore, I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you shall eat, nor about your body, what you shall put on. For the life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds? ~Luke 12:22-24

Photo: Even in black and white it's still 3 coolers sitting in my kitchen costing me $4.23 in ice a day. Nothing "cool" about that.

Busy day- yet oh-so restful

Wow, did we get a lot accomplished on the homestead today. And had a lot of fun doing it. In between planting tomatoes, replanting cucumbers, filling another raised bed, mowing and trimming, laundry, planting flowers, cleaning the kitchen and the front porch and the laundry room, not to mention going thru more kid clothes drawers, organizing and putting away school “stuff” etc. etc.--- even with all of that on our plates we still managed to squeeze in fun and have a glorious day. The kids rode bikes, played croquet, ran thru the sprinkler and generally had a great time playing outside for most of the day.
We started the day quite lazily; just lounging about. The kids were reading in their room and Mr. Steady and I enjoyed just talking together and snuggling (something we just don’t seem to get enough of). Then Mr. Steady made brunch for the family- a big mess of fried eggs, his signature skillet potatoes and sausage patties. Sassafras made toast.
Mr. Steady was quite satisfied with a getting a few to-do’s to-done. He enjoyed puttering in between mowing and weed-wacking- fixed a couple of croquet mallets and spent some time turning the compost (the better to get at the worms) before packing up Mr. Conductor and Sassafras to go off and do a bit of fishing.
Maiden had a bit of school work she had procrastinated on to finish up in the morning and was a wonderful help in going thru some of the clothes. We found 2 bags of clothes someone had given to us that we hadn’t gone thru yet so she enjoyed finding out what fit and didn’t- both in size and style. Her best part of the day was sitting on a blanket in the shade doing a bit of mending on a well-loved pillow, then using the pillow while reading a good book right there in the shade.
Sassafras enjoyed the bike riding, popsicle eating, sprinkler running and worm-drowning fish catching parts of the day.
Mr. Conductor enjoyed biking (Mr. Steady just took the training wheels off on Wednesday and he’s still as fast and furious as ever!) and fishing. He also liked the sprinkler part except for when the girls ganged up on him.
For me, hanging laundry on the line while barefoot in the cool grass was a treat. As was picking a most fragrant bouquet of Lily of the Valley and planting a few more flowers here and there. I was so enjoying myself I not only made a big ol’ pitcher of lemonade for the gang but stirred up a batch of Strawberry Delight Cookies too. I also enjoyed relaxing on the back patio in the evening breeze with my devotions, notebook and lemonade.
What a blissful Saturday. I cannot remember the last time we accomplished so much and had such fun on a Saturday. Perhaps too, I feel such bliss because I am not doing any prep work whatsoever for Sunday work and maybe, too because we’ll be attending a different church tomorrow.
This is rest.

Its a beginning for me

A Beginning
Now that my job has been done for almost 2 weeks and the homeschool group program and open house is done and finished . . . .
I am beginning to rest.
Perhaps it isn’t the rest my husband was quite envisioning----
I’m not taking large amounts of quiet time or laying about reading a good book (both are on the agenda for the summer though!) but I have slowed down the feverish multi-tasking.
I’ve hauled 5 bags of clothes and shoes to Goodwill.
I went thru most of Sassafras’s dresser drawers, culling and sorting- totally finished going thru her and Maiden’s closets (that’s where the 3 of the 5 bags came from).
I have pulled the 3 Sonlight Cores from the homeschool shelves, went thru it all and wrote advertisements for selling them as used curriculum.
I cleaned the church/youth files on my computer.
Did school with the kiddos—without doing 3 or 4 other things at the same time.
I finally got around to ordering my curriculum for next school year.
I’ve enjoyed a cup of coffee without having to check my email for “work”.
In fact, I’ve felt so free of the computer since “retiring” that I haven’t been on much at all. Last week I checked email on Monday and Friday. That was it. Big change for me.
I’ve spent time with the kiddos- making sure that a “just a minute” keeps to right around that time frame. Enjoying some of those moments that I always should be but never seem to.
Such as scooping tadpoles and scaring up frogs at the pond in the woods (at my parents).

a family update

The W family update:
Whoo-Wee! Lots of goings on here on the homestead and not much time to stop in for a chat.
We’ve finally finished putting in the raised beds and planting all the gardens. We still have some re-arranging to do and I still want to give away some oregano, apple mint and thyme to make more room for other plants but things are looking good and green here.
I spent all over last week (my first week “off” the job) getting all of our school “stuff” put together for our year end wrap up—especially busting to get it down because Monday nite was our homeschool group end-of-year open house where we showcase our students work for the year. So I spent my “free” time busting my britches to have everything “just so” because I am just that way.
I am proud however, that I was able to let go of one thing, I didn’t have enough time (and stress levels were “kind of” high on Monday) to back 3 doz. or so cookies so I actually had Mr. Steady pick some up from the big box store bakery. If I had been the ultra-organized homeschool mom I always strive to be I would have premade and frozen wonderfully delicious homemade (with love, of course) cookies.
But I didn’t.
I was too busy with end-of-job stuff.
And that’s okay.
So we spent last week planting gardens, putting all our paperwork in order and spiffing up our school projects.
Oh, and we had to clean-ship-shape the little homestead we help my parents care-take
and we spent an evening with family- the kids went “mucking” in the froggy pond and caught a few (we do a “catch & release” program).
Plus the kids managed to squeeze in a camp-out
And Mr. Steady and I squeezed in a date nite.
On Sunday we went back to “our” church one more time for a very special recognition ceremony. Our oldest, Maiden, was being awarded the Phineas F. Bresee Award for the Nazarene Caravan Program.
Caravan is a Christian scouting program (similar to scouts and Awana) and this award is the highest honors one can attain. It has even been compared to the Boy Scout’s Eagle Scout Award.
This high honor is given for those that complete all 6 years of the program (Maiden was in it for 8 years because she did the 2 yr preschool-K program), have earned the required badges (she earned more) and have received the two previous “minor” (compared to the Bresee) awards; the Winans and Lillenas awards. This award is a culmination of eight years of hard work and diligence and we couldn’t be more proud of her.
It has been a whirlwind 10 days!

Ended-closed out-finished

We have a very full week of homeschooling with a couple of extra items.
Plus a couple of things have landed on my plate I had not seen happening this week.
Good thing Mr. Steady and I have scheduled a date for Friday nite.
I need it.
Mother’s Day- the day- was wonderful. We went to Lake Michigan and had a blast, squished sand between our toes, skipped rocks, collected rocks and driftwood, built sand castles, lazed about and generally had the most wonderful time as a family. I got to spend the whole day just being a Mommy.
It was blissful.

It's Time: My last week

7 Days.
This is my last week in youth ministry.
Wrapping things up- boxing things up.
Wishing I could box up the emotions too and put them away on a shelf.
So much to deal with- such conflicting emotions.
And such things that people are saying! Running the gamut between good, not so great, and strange.
Not only have I been repeatedly asked if I’ve prayed about it- one person said to me, “You know, the devil, hears what you pray too. Have you ever thought it was the devil telling you to quit?”
I did not have witty reply for that one- said right before I started opening the service with worship music . . . . I think I mumbled something about Mr. Steady and I being very sure this is what God wants us to do.
Many people stated that after the talk I gave at last week’s Honor Our Seniors Service (I don’t call it preaching or a sermon- I only do that to my own kiddos!) that I should really, seriously rethink stepping down. “God wouldn’t have you preach like that if He meant for you to quit,” was one reply. Another was, “When God’s gifted you with the ability to put words together like that I don’t think He’d call you to up and quit.” In the talk I gave I spoke of using our gifts- one person said, “Is quitting really using your gifts?”
I’m not sure what I replied to most of these type of comments- when people say things like that they really aren’t expecting replies. I’m pretty sure I mostly said, “Thank you.” And to those who asked again, “Are you sure?” I said that yes, I most definitely was.
Yes, I am sure that it is time. Yes, I am sure that it is GOD that has called me to step down. Yes, I will miss doing this. Yes, I will stay in contact with the youth. Yes, we will be leaving the church for a time. No, I don’t know for how long. Yes, I realize that puts you in a bind. Yes, I understand that this is difficult. No, I don’t know if I’ll come back and volunteer in youth ministry. Yes, this means I won’t be teaching a Sunday School class or leading worship, or giving the announcements at the beginning of service or any of the other big and little things that I have done in the past. Yes, this also includes Mr. Steady and the children. Yes, I realize this is a big change for the children. Yes, Mr. Steady and I have told them. Yes, we are taking our children’s feelings into consideration. No, quite honestly, my children are not terribly upset about this- actually, they are loving the idea that I won’t be working any more. Yes, they will miss friends and family- we all will. Yes, I realize that this is difficult and puts more work on others. No, I won’t reconsider. Yes, I am sure this is what God wants us to do. Yes, we did spend a lot of time in prayer about this. By a lot of time, I mean over a year. Yes, I do think that is an adequate amount of time to pray about something so big. No, we are not leaving because someone made us mad. No, if so-and-so apologized I would not reconsider- it’s not about that.
What I’d like to ask: What part of “Because God called me to” don’t you understand? And Yes, I believe that answer in and of its self should be good enough.
More than enough.

Here’s the deal- my honest thoughts: We tend to view what is going on in other people’s lives thru the filters of our own lives which leads us to view the choices they are making in the aspect of how it will ultimately affect us. I do realize that some of the reasons people are upset about my stepping down is because of how it will affect their lives- like those that will have to find replacements for the holes I and my family have filled. Yes, I do find this part annoying. Yes, it hurts that some are more concerned with the gaps then with us not being around. Yes, it’s maddening that some are angry with me for stepping down from everything, not just youth ministry that they refuse to acknowledge that this is what God wants from me. Yes, it annoys me when I state that we’ve prayed long and hard about this and yet we still so often hear the response, “Are you sure?” Yes, it aggravates me that others have spoken to us in concerns to our children- “chiding” us for what they see as a mistake that will greatly affect our kids’ lives.
BUT
Amazingly enough, God is still God and He knows best. He has been able to hold my tongue against the backlash and help me heart soak up the good stuff. I know that there are many who genuinely wish us well and miss us just because we’re “us”. That is good stuff.
Mr. Steady is truly living up to his name and holding me steady. God is helping me dig deeper this week to see this through to the very end- and then some.
Since I know that I am doing what God wishes for me to do . . . . .
What more does there have to be?

better weather

Thoughts and such

Coming All home

My sporadic blogging continues. Not intentional, really.
Just life.
So much going on and making time for rest too.
I am learning. I am learning to rest. It comes in spurts and I doubt I could say I’m good at it. It takes quite a bit for me to quiet my mind but it’s good.
Its all good.
Each week is an other step towards my final week of work . . . .
And while I desperately look forward to no longer having a divided heart, and being all home . . . .
It is still hard. One would think it would be nice to hear people complimenting you on the great job you’ve done . . . .
And yet . . . .
Most of the compliments come with extra tags.
Like:
“What will we do without you?”
“Nobody will be as great as you.”
“We’re not going to get someone that loves the kids and the church like you do.”
“I just don’t know if I can trust anyone else with my kids.”
“I don’t think the next person will understand my son the way you did and treat him the way you did.”
and the list goes on.
They are all compliments but I feel the weight of them.
Someone told me that is my guilt weighing on me and I should re-think quitting my job.
Mr. Steady told me it is the mark of someone who has done a good job through and through who is also concerned that the person coming after her won’t do as good a job or love the kids the ways she does.
Ooohh. That man is good!
And so there I am. Excited about the future and where God will lead me and horribly clutching all that I am giving up.
And that’s when revelation strikes.
I can’t grab the “new stuff” God has for me unless I’m willing to open my hands and drop the “old stuff”. Of course, it would be a lot easier if it was just stuff- like the boxes and boxes of youth books, files etc. that I am packing up and hauling to the church. That stuff is easy to put down and walk away from.
I know that these compliments are meant to be special and are people’s way of letting me know I am special but I must admit I’m struggling with it. I know they are honoring me with their sincere words but I feel so much less than.
It is a humbling experience.
I talk with God about it all a lot. I ask Him to help me when my attitude begins to sour. I lay each youth, by name, at His feet, knowing that His care for them is so much more than mine. I praise Him for the amazing ride these past 8 years have been. I query with Him- wondering if I have wrapped up too much of my identity in this ministry and how to “fix” that. I ask Him if this will ever feel normal. If I’ll ever be able to go there to church again and feel “normal”.
A dear friend tells me that time will tell. That I’m stepping into a new normal.
That’s something to think about.

Behold I make all things new.

~ Revelation 21:5

Remember

Sick- ick

I am sick.
Head cold.
Nasty stuff.
Makes me hurt and feel stupid.
Not a great combo.
Also- dear friends of ours are facing something worse than a head cold- on Friday my dear friend Tam made herself a doctor's appt. because of feeling off and a bad cough. We were concerned that it might be pneumonia as she had it 2 years ago. Then she was calling the dr. back to get her husband in too. Long story short- yes, she has pneumonia and her dear hubby has a bleeding ulcer. Lots of tests on Friday. Home resting all weekend and then such pain that she had him back to the dr. on Monday. Trying to keep the story short- she took her husband to the hospital, he was admitted and her 5 kiddos came to hang out and spend the night with us.
He is now back home, hopefully on the mend. Tam's antibiotic gives her incredible headaches- we are praying this stops. Their family is overwhelmed and exhausted. I pray they all find rest at home today as he was able to come home from the hospital last night.
Please keep these dear friends of mine in prayer.
This week has been totally turned inside out. But that's okay.
My dear Mr. Steady and the children have really been awesome in taking care of me and their friends.
I am so blessed.
Things will probably be quiet here the rest of the week as blogging is low priority. 

Heart Divided

These past few months I have strongly felt that my heart was divided between my work in youth ministry and my work at home. I have felt that I wasn’t giving my best to either one.
Have you ever heard the saying Jack of All Trades- Master of None?
I’ve often thought that tag went after my name.
Been feeling my fingers were dabbling in a few too many pies . . . .
And Yet-
I do know that God knew I would have to walk this bumpy pot-hole-filled road. He knew I wouldn’t “get” the post-it notes and He’d have to plug in the neon sign.
It comforts me to know how He knows.
To know that I know He knows- got it?!
My friend Kim reminded me that God has left His footprints on my life these past few months- carrying me through those tough times.
I know I am better, stronger for having gone down that path.
I will no longer sit in the wishful thinking spot saying “Woe is me. Shame on me for not getting my act together sooner.”
All in God’s good time.
His not mine.
I’m softer now. Hard edges have been worn smooth from the journey so far and I know there are more to be smoothed in the journey that is blossoming in front of me. I’ve also got a few more calluses but they are good too- proof of hard work and lessons learned. I must be vigilant to not become too callused as that could lead to harder edges again.
There is beauty here in the midst of the mess and I’m soaking it in, taking note. I want to know, to learn as much as I can from the experience- yes, even the painful pieces of it. I need to stop thinking on the small minute details and look as God does- at a bigger picture. What is hard today won’t be tomorrow. What hurts today may not hurt tomorrow. What seems difficult is part of what is molding and shaping me.
I’m realizing that I have to continue to go along with this even when others step in and try to tell me different or speak unkindly to or about me or when they give up on me, show disappointment in me.
Note- I said when not if. I know it will happen I’m seeing pieces of it already but I am reminded that God is not only calling me away from this job but also to work on my people-pleasing mentality and exchange it for a God-pleasing one. I am aware that I need to follow His lead on this no matter what.
No matter what.
I can be assured that not everyone will understand.
And not everyone will be kind in their mis-understanding.
Some will feel I’m just giving up.
And some will be happy to see me gone.
I’m learning to be okay with that. It’s not my issue- it’s theirs and God.
I’m working on my overwhelming need to explain myself.
What I see as explanations- others see as excuses.
Do I really want to give them more ammo?
Does it really matter?
Not really.
Listen more. Give reasons/excuses less.
If it doesn’t do anything else- it will at least confuse the heck out of some people!
Well, back to that Heart Divided feeling- this isn’t an issue for everyone- and it wasn’t for me for many years. For a season I was more than capable of being a youth director and a mom/wife and more. God provided for me to do it all. I believe the heart divided feeling came because God was nudging me to see things differently and to realize that season was over- that He has new plans for me.
Me- not every woman- as I don’t write for everyone.
Just me.
God’s knocking on my heart’s door about this and I’ve decided He’s right and I’m going to make it a non-issue.
No more heart divided.
I want to be home- All Home.
I’ve got creative needs that need fillin’ right here at home. Lists and dreams and desires that all center on this little patch of dirt and those that live with me on it.
It’s thrilling, really.
Absolutely.