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Lord- I'd like a Do Over for yesterday and maybe today too

The Lord shall guide you continually.
--- Isaiah 58:11a

Yesterday was a difficult day.
My grandfather- who my parents flew out to visit and who we thought was doing better is now on hospice care. He is unable to talk on the phone much and can't get to his email so they've asked that all contact be through snail mail. I cried.

We had a few problems at our homeschool group day yesterday too. Minor compared to everything else going on but it helped set the tone of my day.

I came home to a phone message from the debt counseling agency. The message pretty much said that they have failed to negotiate and that it is now up to me. I can go to court or come up with the payment in full they are asking for (which is not possible). I am to call the debt counseling agency today for more information. To say I am concerned is an understatement. I feel as if my every breath is a prayer- given over and over to God.
I have once again battled deep fear and overwhelming worry. It has swept over me in waves but thankfully did not drag me down as it did this past January. It is more like a nagging feeling of possible impending doom. I know that is not what God desires for me either. I am to rest solidly in Him.

Dear Lord,
You know how much I wish to avoid trials in my life. But I know that growth and happiness are not based on everything going my way, but are in large measure the result of how I handle adversity. Renew in me the confidence that you have blessed me with, even in the tough times.
Please give me peace Lord. I am not feeling very peaceful right now but I know that peace doesn't come from my circumstances and such but from You. Grant me Your Peace, Oh Lord, the peace that doesn't depend on what is happening all around me but that peace that passes all understanding.
Lord, deliver me once again, I cry out to you, deliver me. Please Lord don't delay-- rescue me.
Show me the way to proceed in these circumstances Lord. Be with me--- continually guide me. Give me the words to speak and the ears to hear and the mind to understand what is going on. Help me with the solution dear Lord. I put all of this in Your more than capable hands.
Deliver me Lord.
Rescue me Lord.
Be near me Lord and be my guide.
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Please give me strength.
Amen.

Untitled Comment

9:29 AM, 2008-May-7 .. Posted by megroocam

I will be praying for you, your grandfather, your homeschool group, and for your debt counseling issues.
Dear lady, what an inspiration your blog is. Thank you for your honesty with your struggles and for your continuing desire to seek the Lord and do His will.
God Bless You,
Tan

Untitled Comment

11:01 AM, 2008-May-7 .. Posted by Isabella

I am sorry about your grandfather. My prayers are with you and your family.
About the debt situation, The Lord worked it out for the best the last time you went to court. That is one bill out from under the HORRIBLE credit counselors. I am praying that the Lord will get another bill out from under them (the means to pay it off). God Bless. I

Sorry...

11:43 AM, 2008-May-7 .. Posted by wstoller

I'm sorry.... I hope that something can be worked out! praying for you!!!

wendy