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8:38 PM, 2007-Sep-18 .. Posted by Kitty

Oh how I feel your pain. I recently threw my 80 yo fil a birthday party, to which my two sils made a fool of themselves hating me and tormenting me. They laughed at me, rolled their eyes at everything I said and did, and didn't even look at me as I tried to speak to them.
But threw it all I kept my composer, telling my dh after the party that evening, that there will never be another time when I put myself in a situation to have them treat me that way. As for as I am concerned, that was the last time I will ever see those two women. I will no longer be treated this way.
I have turned it all over to God, for I can no longer deal with it. So I do know how you feel about distancing yourself from the pain. You are in my prayers.
Kitty

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8:43 AM, 2007-Sep-19 .. Posted by gokings13

We have not spoken to dh's mom for 9 years.

I have not spoken to my only brother in years.......and have not seen my parents since last Christmas.
I had to choose my family (dh and kids) over my own......for our sanity, and to STOP the pattern that has been passed down for generations. Patterns of behavior that I do not want passed down to my kids.
It hurts. It stinks.........but it is what is best.
Laura

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11:27 AM, 2007-Sep-19 .. Posted by Joanne

It is so painful when the people who you love and are supposed to love you treat you badly. There are people in my family that don't like some of the choices that we have made for our family [# of children, homeschooling, etc] but at least they are respectful to our face.

I grew up with an alcoholic father and when my mother passed away, I spent so much time trying to keep some sort of family-ness....but was continually hurt by his actions and by then, my sisters, who had by then turned to alcohol. It engulfed me in such a way that it took me away from my own family. I just realized one day that I needed to let go...let go not of my family, but of the expectations I had of them. We kept in touch, cordially.....but no more family dinners and such. That was 20 years ago and my dad has since passed away...I was able to be there when he died. My sister is still an active alcoholic, but we keep in touch. I have no regrets as to how I handled this situation....I did not reject my family, just their behavior....and put them in a perspective that was best for all.

Edited by Joanne on 2007-Sep-19 at 10:29 AM