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Family Meetings

I thought I might *chat* about how we do a family meeting. IÂ’ve learned a lot from listening to other moms (and some dads too) share what they do. Some have the kids bring questions/concerns/complaints from the week to the meeting table. Others have the parents running the whole show. Some use it as a platform to talk about manners and deal with family issues. I think weÂ’re pretty eclectic. We allow questions/concerns/complaints if they are valid- which means with our young ones (9, 6 & 2) they donÂ’t bring much to talk about. The family meeting is not a place to complain about things that canÂ’t be changed (for instance: sharing a bedroom or your chore job) or to tattle to get a sibling into trouble. We start off with prayer and then we begin with our oldest, 9 yr old DD and go down the line age wise. Daddy is the speaker (with Mama interrupting- ah, no I mean adding additional comments/explanations as needed). Daddy speaks to them about behavior issues and “problems”. He then talks about what we have seen them working on doing better and then shares what they need to do or improve on. He then follows that up with praises for progress and accomplishments. We use DoorpostÂ’s (great company!) Blessings Chart which allows us to showcase what we are praising them for with incentives, rewards and certificates. [Example: The Cheerful Face Certificate –in recognition of a cheerful, thankful spirit. Sometimes we just give the award certificate and other times we include fun little things that “go with it” like a fun toothbrush or flavored lip balm- rewards/goodies depend on what we are rewarding]. It really works with us to talk calmly about behavior problems and end on the high note of praising them. I admit that some weeks we are really stretching to find a praise . . . .  sometimes we end up praising them for willingly accepting the consequences of their behavior. But always, always there has to be at least one praise to note. We keep a notebook of our family meetings with what we discuss and what blessings we award.

Since Sam is only 2- he just pretty much runs around the table during these times but the girls really enjoy the meetings and look forward to them. We close the meeting with family prayer- the girls praying too if they so choose. Then we have dessert!

During the week we also use Doorposts “If Then Chart” for behavior issues. This simple chart shows the child that if they do “such and such” (i.e. act disrespectful) then they will have a certain applicable consequence.

What do you do? Do you have a family meeting? Do you use Doorposts and if so, what do you use?

great ideas

8:40 PM, 2006-Mar-10 .. Posted by nathall

Thanks for the great ideas about the family meeting. I am going to look into Doorpost's!
Have a great weekend! - Natalie