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God pleaser vs. People Pleaser

As Christians we are called to be God-pleasers and yet we do spend a lot of time trying to please people. I have a terrible habit of that. Remember this saying- You can please some of the people some of the time but you'll never be able to please all the people all of the time. I have a horrible tendancy to keep trying to please anyway.
With that said, listen to what Paul says:
Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant. Galatians 1:10
So if I spend my time trying to please people I will lose sight of what pleases God. Makes sense doesn't it. I found this verse to be comfort after I had some trouble at church in my youth ministry job and found some people pretty upset with a decision I had made. It again comforted me when I again made a youth ministry related decision that I felt was God's desire but then found didn't mesh with some people. Being in a ministry position seems to put you in the spot of people pleaser and you must always be on guard, making sure your decisions please God first and foremost. I do not relish the times in my job where I have "rocked the boat" and made some people pretty disgusted. To this day there is a woman in our church who has a serious dislike of me because of how I handled a situation. There was a young man who left the youth group because he disagreed with me and I have been told my stance on another issue was instrumental in another family leaving the church. How do you think those things weigh on a person? Pretty heavy for a season but then God brought me back to this verse and reminded me that I am to first and foremost please Him and in each of those instances I was doing what I felt God was leading. God bears that burden for me. It was very extremely hard for me to stand up and maintain my stance in the face of displeasing others but God held me firm and I am so very grateful for His mercy and grace and leading in each of those situations. I don't like it when people are upset with me or disappointed in me. I don't like it when people dislike me. [I happen to think I'm a pretty likable person!]
Do you know what an EGR person is? An EGR person is one with Extra Grace Required. It is someone you need God's grace to deal with. I happen to have a few of those in my life- a couple of them in my youth group, a youth parent and a few people in the church . . . . . as well as elsewhere. I've learned I need to pray more for those EGR people in my life and pray about how I deal with them. God loves and cares for them as much as He does me. Then one day, a month or so ago, I had an epiphany that changed my perspective a bit- the thought suddenly hit me: I am someone else's EGR Person. Someone out there needs extra grace in dealing with me. Wow. What a thought.
This has changed how I look at the EGR people in my life. It's changed how I pray for them. I have always prayed that God would give me the extra grace I needed in dealing with them but now I also pray for Him to help me show them- that they may see it in me. I pray that God will help me to love them inspite of myself.
That's where I find myself today- praying for one particular EGR person in my life. My neighbor who is also a friend, a part of my church family and a member of my homeschool group. Oh, Lord, give me grace in dealing with her. Help me to keep my mouth shut. May the words I do speak come from you. Lord, if I am to speak the truth in love to this person- it has got to be your words coming out of my mouth. I am hurt and angry. I feel used and misunderstood and I'm pretty steamed about the entire situation and how it is being played against me. I know I'm not the bad guy but I still hate being portrayed as one. Lord, use me in this situation- show me how to handle this! Please keep me from spewing my hurt and anger but rather use me as a light shining for You. May she see You in me and have no doubt. Lord, I know the world would say I have every right to tell her "exactly what I think" and show her "the error of her ways", to put my foot down and say that my children will have no contact with her and hers. And right now while all the things I could say run through my mind I know that they cannot be said. Lord, this situation happens so frequently with this person and I am so bone weary of dealing with it. Please help me. Guide and lead me because I really want to throw up my hands in defeat here. Her viewpoint here is so skewed in my eyes but help me not to skew it further. Lord, help me to forgive her even as it burns that she sees nothing that needs forgiving. Forgive me my thoughts and harbored hurts. Forgive me my burning anger. Lord, lead me in this situation- you know I'd rather not be her "doormat". You know I'd rather not allow her to continue misunderstanding and blaming us. Oh, Lord- I'm so frustrated! God, this is so backwards! Help me, please.
Lord, I am asking for your wisdom and mercy in dealing with this. Please help Mr. Steady and I to do Your will in this situation. Lord, protect the kids from the hurt and anger I feel- don't let it spill over to them. Don't let it affect their perspective of this family. Help me to be calm. Forgive me my anger and need for justice. In fact, please take it from me- take away my need for justice. Show us Lord how you want us to deal with this and help us to remain steadfast in that decision. Hold us firmly in your strong right arm. I know I can do this if You are with me and for me.
Thank you Lord. Thank you Lord. Thank you Lord. Amen.

God Pleasing

1:55 PM, 2007-Jul-27 .. Posted by Jen

Look at my blog today - isn't this *wierd* - of course not, its God-orchestrated! You are one of the blogs I check every day. Hope you have a nice weekend.

http://gracioushomemaking.blogspot.com

God IS indeed good

2:16 PM, 2007-Jul-27 .. Posted by YPAmy5

God is obviously speaking to many hearts with this post- please visit Jen @ gracioushomemaking (commented above) and listen to the link she posted with her own "people-pleasing" post.
God is good.

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3:44 PM, 2007-Jul-27 .. Posted by CatherineAnn

Praying for you :) ! In our family, I'm the one who tends to be the people pleaser (gets me in trouble sometimes too- i just hate conflict). DH has the heart of a prophet and will calmly share exactly what the Bible says about something and if people get mad (and as you know they still do) he says their issue is with God, not him. As a minister's wife, and veteran of both youth and children's ministry, I know how hard it can be. When dealing with those EGR persons, and in days of distress, I often read Psalm 37; verses 3-6 especially :) !

Blessings,
Catherine

Great Verses

4:16 PM, 2007-Jul-27 .. Posted by YPAmy5

Catherine Ann-
Thanks so much for sharing those verses. Just what I needed to be reminded of.
Especially v. 6 "He will make your innocense as clear as the dawn, and the justice of our cause will shine like the noonday sun."
Thank you for such timely reminders!
God Bless-
Amy W

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4:22 PM, 2007-Jul-27 .. Posted by Lynne

Amy,
It sounds like you are having a rough day!
I have found this to be very effective for me. When I am in a situation where I have to talk to someone who I know will be stressful/anger causing, I take a few minutes to say a silent prayer. I pray that God will direct me to be honest, patient, and above all to behave in a Christian manner. I find this really works. It's almost amazing how well it works.

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6:23 PM, 2007-Jul-27 .. Posted by kristina

Thank you for this post! It is so true!

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10:06 AM, 2007-Jul-30 .. Posted by jocelyndixon

The 10th Homesteading Carnival is up and posted! If you didn't submit a post, we put one of yours in! Please stop by, check it out, and announce it on your blog to let everyone know! http://www.homesteadblogger.com/Jocelyndixon/64266/

CountryGirl
Jocelyn