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Help Meet

12:28 PM, 2006-Oct-26 .. Posted in Family Life .. 4 comments .. Link
I have purchased and begun reading Debi Pearl's book Created to be His Help Meet. I have read many, many reviews of this book both professional and not, some that agreed and some that did not, some that were nice and some that were scathing.
Just as I read Da Vinci Code to see what all the hype was about (by the way- a totally unbelievable book in my view point and lacking in many areas- but I digress) I wanted to read Created in order to be informed. But I also wanted to read Created because I have a deep genuine interest in learning as much as I possibly can about being the wife God wants me to be.
It started almost 3 years ago when I joined my first women's Bible study. The book was A Woman After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George. I so enjoyed and learned from that study- building a foundation for myself as God's woman, that I eagerly continued with the study group with A Wife After God's Own Heart. I must say I had much to learn from both books but more so from the second. I highly recommend both studies (and don't forget to get the separate study guides too- they're wonderful!) The changes in my life have been extraordinary. The blessings in my life have been even more so.
Not only have I and my darling husband seen the changes in me but others have noticed as well. I have never truly been a bad wife but I haven't been a truly good wife either- at least not the wife God desires me to be. And I continue to learn. Hence my desire to purchase Created.
And so begins another journey in reading and discovery. I am only part way thru the book. My eyes have been opened to so much. There is much I agree with and am learning from and just a smidgen I don't agree with. I pray that I am not agreeing for the right reasons and I also pray that if I am wrong in my thinking that God will lead me in the right direction. Debi Pearl is a wonderful woman and has been given wonderful gifts by God- but she's human just like the rest of us and so the things I find that I am not in agreement with I directly take to the Lord in prayer.
I am struggling with totally understanding the concept that I am to be my husband's help meet in every way but no where does it say for him to be a help to me. Yikes! I struggle under the weight of trying to fathom that so much rests on my shoulders. I understand that my husband is to love me as Christ loves the church and if he loves like that he will be a help to me (and let me go on record as saying my husband is a wonderful and tremendous help- my darling Mr. Steady). But the book isn't for husbands- it's for wives to comprehend and accept where God has placed them. And so I struggle against a life raised to be an independent woman- one of those "you can do or be anything you want to be" and "anything you can do I can do better". I was raised in a wonderful loving Christian home but also to be independent and self- motivated which borders on the bossy dictator. I am a woman who struggles against others preconceived notion that I "wear the pants" in my family (mostly because I am too outspoken and my husband is quiet and reserved- too many years of shooting my mouth off and not tempering myself).
In fact, I totally took out the words "and obey" from my marriage vows and I thought it was funny. That was a shameful sentence to write. I would like to do that over again- I dream of renewing my marriage vows the RIGHT way. My husband isn't so concerned because he sees who I am now- who God is growing me to be and he is happy. I have said the words to him and he feels that is enough.
And so here I am reading this book, cringing and feeling overwhelmed. Feeling convicted is probably a better way of putting it.  As I read I can't help but think that not only do I need to continue to grow and change for myself and my marriage and to be a blessing to my husband but I feel a more burning desire to do so in order to set an example for my daughters of a life lived out for God. I deeply desire to see them begin their marriages the right way- totally God's way. That is my prayer too.
Now, I did very much like what Mrs. Pearl had to say about how we should dress and about pants vs. dresses/skirts. And I agree with her.
I like my blue jeans just fine.

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Untitled Comment

3:18 PM, 2006-Oct-26 .. Posted by Laura @ the Peanut Patch
Tag Amy! You're it!

http://thepeanutpatch.blogspot.com/2006/10/refrigerator-meme.html

That is, if you'd like to participate... stop by to check out the rules.

Untitled Comment

3:23 PM, 2006-Oct-26 .. Posted by Laura @ the Peanut Patch
I just wanted to say I was so excited to read your review of Helpmeet... I'm wanting to read it myself, and am glad to know you are liking it, but also questioning bits & pieces of it. Comforting to know I'm not the only one with "but..." in my mind on some things. :-) I'll keep that thought handy when I read it myself, someday soon.

I just received my copy of

4:11 PM, 2006-Oct-26 .. Posted by mominpa
CTBHHM today (along with To Train a Child, also by the Pearls)....and just this week I have found a few blogs which have had a lot to disagree about with these books, so I am very interested to read it MYSELF and form my own opinion...take what I need (what the Lord leads) and leave the rest.

I also enjoyed Prep for Parenting by the Ezzos and I thank God for their information as that helped me so much for first 9 months of having a baby in my life!! A lot of people don't agree with the Ezzo's either, but they are like the rest, you take what you NEED and leave the rest, after prayer and conversation with husbands. (at least that is how I do it).

I also loved the book a Woman After Gods Own Heart. But I haven't seen a Wife After God's Own heart...I'll have to keep my eyes open for that one!!

I agree

10:19 AM, 2006-Oct-27 .. Posted by blurose
I too have read a woman after Gods own heart and it really helped me also. One of my favorite books has been Created to be his helpmeet -although I have not read any others they have. I think alot of women do not agree with her because ya know.... sometimes the truth is hard to swallow. I was like you and did not temper my mouth and was not living in service to my husband and when you are not living as He would have you, then it is easy to dismiss something by saying you don't agree, KWIM?



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