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Harbored ill will felt here

A very strange thing happened to me last nite- a woman from church, who I have considered a friend, pulled me aside after a church meeting last nite and asked me to forgive her. I, of course, had no clue what she was talking about. She said she needed to ask my forgiveness for her attitude towards me. She said that she has harbored a lot of anger and resentment against me for many months- to the point where she didn’t even want to come to church and sit in the pew because she’d have to look at me up on the platform.
Um, quite the ego boost isn’t it?! I was blown away and very perplexed to put it mildly. I think I mumbled something about not understanding and asked why. She didn’t give me an answer but said she is working thru it and again asked my forgiveness.
I told her I forgave her and that I loved her and would never, ever intentionally hurt her. I also said that she had to accept me for who I am- the whole package. I know that I can be “over-the-top” at times and that I have a very sarcastic (and dry) sense of humor that others don’t always get, but it is me and I have found that I really like me – God made me this way for a reason.
She asked forgiveness again and hugged me and we said we loved each other . . . . and then we parted ways.
I did not leave feeling joyful or refreshed or any of that. I am left feeling a bit of bitterness in my gut and unease. I am still having a bit of trouble wrapping my mind around it all and thinking of how this woman sat with me, talked with me, ate with me, was in a women’s bible study with me etc. and all the while was quietly seething inside against me. A bitter pill to swallow, that one.
So I have done the only (and best) thing I know to do- I have gone to the Word.

The wise in heart are called discerning. Proverbs 16:21
If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14
A friend loves at all times. Proverbs 17:17
He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend. Proverbs 22:11

And lastly- I found this in my reading today:
Wounds from a friend can be trusted. Proverbs 27:6

I have prayed and I forgave her as soon as she shared her feelings. I will do my best to “set it aside” and go on from here. But I have to say when things like this happen we begin to question ourselves and try to smother who we are with others who have “issues” with us. I acknowledge to myself that I will be uncomfortable around this person for a while and I pray for God to bring me peace and comfort about it and to love her for who she is.  I also pray that when needed, God will temper my “over the top” personality. Only He can lead and change me and those, really, are the only changes I desire for myself.

Sorry

2:59 PM, 2006-Jul-14 .. Posted by TheLandIsCalling

This actually happened to me in our old church. My honey was the youth pastor and so I guess we were somewhat watched. Anyway a woman told me she struggled with hating me. Ya, that was a stunner. She was jealous over all sorts of things. How my kids behaved, my relationship with my honey, my personality. The thing I found out wasn't that it was me, It was her and it was sin. She let it fester so long she actually hated me. I will be praying for you.
Blessings,
Andrea

Untitled Comment

2:19 AM, 2006-Jul-15 .. Posted by GrandmaRosie

I know these things happen. When I was teaching High School in a Christian school once a mother came to my house with our pastors wife. She had been to seek counseling from the pastor and his wife on her intense hatred of me. I knew something was up, she had verbally attacked me without any provacation several times. She said her son, who was one of my students was in love with my teen aged daughter. My daughter was not interested in him and he knew it. So he was sadded by it. His mother did not want to blame or dislike my daughter because her son had strong feelings for her. So she transferred all her anger to me. Very odd. she asked me to forgive her and then said she could not promise not to feel that way in the future or refrain from talking bad about me. I just prayed for her and let the Lord take care of it. But it did hurt. My momma always said" This to will pass."