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The Meeting- download

As planned, Mr. Steady and I met with our Pastor yesterday evening.
As to be expected, my pastor was understandably surprised that I desire to step down from youth ministry.
When we presented him with our proposal of working less hours (which by the way was extremely difficult to come up with and instead of it being a 10 hour proposal it was a 12 hour proposal which was really a 14 hour proposal without 2 hours on--- extremely difficult for me to find a way to be productive and effective on 10 hours- impossible really to do what needs doing . . . .). He did not accept the proposal because he felt I was cheating myself because I would continue to work the hours anyway. He wanted to clarify to me that I am salaried and that means if it takes 5 hours or 10 hours or 30 hours to do what I do my pay remains the same. He asked that I stop worrying about the hours. He also wanted to ease my mind about the money- that the church is becoming more financially stable with the pay cuts already in affect and some other changes and there is no need for me to take less pay to do the same amount of work.
Mr. Steady explained that I can’t do the same amount of work and he and Pastor discussed what Pastor wants to see in the ministry and what I have been doing- which according to my pastor was above and beyond. He encouraged me to cut back and not worry. He also encouraged me that when others in the church give me flack that I should let it go and/or forward them to him- telling the person(s) “Pastor and I have discussed this and you can take it up with him.”
Pastor was hoping by alleviating some of the stress of hours and pay and other people’s expectations that I would “keep on keeping on” but Mr. Steady and I remained firm on the fact that God is calling me to step down. I shared that I have been feeling this nudge from the Lord for months but felt I needed more clarity from the Lord and He has now given that clarity to me.
I could tell from snippets and body language that my pastor is concerned with how they will replace me. I shared that I felt God would fill the position. It has to be God- not just because the church is so low on volunteers you couldn’t get someone to hold a door open or because the church really can’t financially afford to bring someone in (as they would definitely want more money than I am making)- it’s not about those seemingly insurmountable obstacles- it has to be God-led no matter what. I have to believe that God’s will will be done and am praying for him to send someone.
How the meeting ended: My pastor would not accept a formal resignation but acknowledged that I want to phase out of paid ministry by early May. We both want my last few months as youth ministries director to be joyful- that I would spend time teaching and enjoying the kids and with that in mind, He asked that this stay between us at this point and not involve the church board as he feels it will quickly leak out and do harm to the youth ministry during the transition. He stated that I did my part and it is now in his hands to see it through (which I take to mean finding a replacement?).
So this is a beginning to an end. I have to say that I still have questions and concerns about how the next few months will go and just how this is going to end but I am doing my best to set that aside and remind myself that God is in charge, not me. I’m not borrowing worry for the next 4 months, but want to do as directed- teach and enjoy.
Harder said than done for me.
Just one more thing that God wants to work in me is my guess.
And so- should you ask, “Do you feel relieved? A great weight lifted off of you?”
Umm.
Yes.
and No.
But God is God
And I’m more than okay with that.

Untitled Comment

8:17 PM, 2009-Jan-7 .. Posted by Lynne

Amy,
Are you going to have to do some other kind of work to replace that income?
It must be quite a relief to you to address this. I can see why, as a salaried employee, your time requirements can become overwhelming. Good luck.

Untitled Comment

8:30 PM, 2009-Jan-7 .. Posted by YPAmy5

Income wise- We've got a plan and we're working the plan. It really has come down to having the faith to take the step God desires for me. He knows the state of our finances better than I do and I put my trust in Him to see us through.
I'm really more concerned with my hope that someone else will step up/in and take the job. It would make my transition a lot easier.