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The Guilt and the Gimmies

We’re going to be super cheap, super frugal and super-D-duper tightwads this year for the holidays.
Amazingly enough the icky economy is helpful. I find that I am not so scared to say No.
“No, I can’t donate to your worthy cause- I am my own worthy cause this year.”
No is hard for me. I feel like a heel when I don’t have the bit of cash needed to give to the local mission for holiday dinners or to the sheriff’s department for the special fundraiser. Or to the kids in my youth group selling cheap wrapping paper, icky cheese balls and cookie dough so overpriced I could make 12 dozen for the same price as their 2 dozen.
No, I’m sorry I can’t donate, we’re really having to pinch our budget and just don’t have the extra money.
You know, you don’t even have to explain that much- No should mean NO.
Period.
My Grampa was once an insurance salesman (one of his many interesting jobs he had in his lifetime) and he said the key was to make a person say NO seven times before you give up because people usually can’t hold out that long.
I’ve kept that in mind- I don’t want to get to seven- mostly we find that “No, I’m sorry, I can’t at this time,” seems to be enough but other times it isn’t. It makes me uncomfortable when they go into that “Don’t you have an extra $5 a week you could spare to give us $20 a month? Surely you can do that?! Don’t you realize these people/worthy organization need your help?”
It boils down to this: guilt.
Guilt over the phone from people I don’t know and will probably never meet.
Here’s another way of looking at it . . . . .
My money is not mine.
Everything I have belongs to God. My money is God’s money and I should really be praying about how I spend it- all of it. Not just my tithe but each and every single little cent.
I’ve decided to quit feeling guilty when I have to tell so-and-so on the phone NO. I’ve learned to pray about the money and goods we are able to give and ask that God would multiply it- thinking loaves and fishes, loaves and fishes. Just because it’s a little from me doesn’t mean God can’t do great things with it.
Loaves and fishes.
With my new reduction in pay we have even less to stretch around here.
Here’s something else I’m not really sure of- whose cause is needier? How much of the money that I’m giving to xyz organization really goes where it’s needed and how much goes towards administrative fees and overhead?
In the past, I’ve found out that only about 20 cents of every dollar we gave went to the actual cause. That’s not good enough for me and so I’ve learned to do a bit of investigating rather than just hand my money over in the midst of a feel-good moment.
I learned a long time ago that giving isn’t just a holiday thing- it’s a year-round thing. Need doesn’t just creep up around the holidays- it’s every day. I’ve thought about the different things we do as a family and though it’s just a drop in the bucket- each drop helps fill the bucket up and it would be that much less without my little drops.
I’m learning to fight the guilt. I can’t help everywhere I would like to but the little I do matters to someone somewhere.
Even though we give to different needs over the course of the year, we still have definite things we do around the holidays.
So what will we be doing this year?
We’ve got a bag of Christmas dresses, two other bags of nice clothes, a bag of gently used winter coats & snow pants and respectable toys going to the local free store (people come in and pick up anything they want for free- really!) which excites the kids- thinking they are really truly doing something to make another kid’s day.
We’ve got a box we are filling up bit by bit for the local food bank. We buy 2-3 “extra” items when we are at the store each trip and add them to the box.
We are purchasing items for the crisis care kits at our church and for personal care kits for the local domestic assault shelter. The kids think it’s awesome what $20 can buy you at the dollar store.
And that’s about it. Of course we’ll enjoy putting change in the bell-ringers’ red buckets throughout the season too . . . . .
NO will probably always be hard for me to say but I am determined to remind myself of what we are saying YES to this year- to think of the people we are helping and pray that God will stretch our contributions.
Say it with me-
Loaves and Fishes.
Loaves and Fishes.

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3:50 PM, 2008-Nov-6 .. Posted by smmagers

I love to match sale adds from other markets and take them to walmart because they match the price. Them when I match coupons with them I save more. This helps us to get many items free. We give out 95 % of the free items. They are tooth care, hair care, all kinds of canned food. This way we are able to help other out with out going broke and we are good stewards of Gods money.
God Bless, mj

Matching prices and coupons

4:07 PM, 2008-Nov-6 .. Posted by YPAmy5

I've heard this done with Walgreens and such but have not had such great success here. You've reminded me of it and perhaps I'll try again.
Thanks!
Amy W

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5:07 PM, 2008-Nov-6 .. Posted by gabbie427

We are adopting a family in need and giving them some things they need, and a gift certificate to the local grocery store.

We are going super tight this year as well. Hubby's family usually spends $300 per family, so for our family, that will be $100 per person. We pick out what we want, and she orders it, wraps it and puts it under the tree.

I am making alot of presents, so I have been sewing up a storm, but alot of fabric and items I had on hand, and I have spent minimal money on crafting supplies and sewing items. We are doing a homemade Christmas in this house!

God's Blessings,
Amy Jo

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6:35 PM, 2008-Nov-6 .. Posted by Lynne

Amy,
My kids are teenagers (and older than yours). I have seen a huge attitude change with them and their friends. The father of a friend of oldest daughter lost his job two weeks ago. My oldest is asking for nothing for XMas, and the youngest asked for one thing with the added "if we can afford it".
We, too, are giving each week to the food bank, and we include some pet food in our giving.
I just tell some askers "I can't give this year", and they understand. Some groups I want to support, like the high school football team, sell pizza kits. I just give them $2 instead of ordering a kit, because that is what they make on a kit, anyway.
You shouldn't feel bad because you can't give more right now. You will give more when you are able.
Off the subject, but I am very pleased with Obama's first presidential appointment: his kids are getting their new dog from a rescue shelter. I hope his example encourages others to do the same.