Monday, October 23, 2006
My thoughts at the moment.....scary I know! :)
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If someone was to ask me what I want in life. I'm sure I would say something that would include my husband and my kids. David my husband has told me you are always complaining that you never get a break and when I tell you to take a break and go do something you argue with me about it. For one thing..... its late at night when he tells me to just go and if I do go any where even to walmart I feel guilty for not bringing at least two of the kids with me. I don't know where to go or what to do for my self. I'm hoping I can reach the place where I am happy with wanting things and doing things for my self. I don't know how to get there. I don't think I have any hopes or dreams for my self. I can tell you what I use to want before kids and marriage. I like to think there are other moms out there that feel the same way.
I started homeschooling Brent this school year. We had not planned on doing that this year. With Brent's hearing loss that made the decision much easier for me to make. Every day can be a struggle. I just try my best to take it one minute at a time. Hannah has started PRE K this year. So that makes things a little easier. Celie is still home and into everything! Nicholas has threapy three times a week and I'm not counting any of the other appointments I may have to take the kids to during the week. I'm not complaining...I'm really not. I'm so thankful for my kids, husband and my entire life.
During the summer the thought of things getting easier crossed my mind. I was thinking I will just have two kids at home during the day. Brent will be at school and Hannah will be in Pre K. Things changed....I don't mind because I feel that I try to make the choice that will be better for my kids. I had planned on going back to college next Fall. If I'm still homeschooling Brent I don't think that will happen. So now I'm thinking when the kids are older I may go back to school. But I really know if I don't go now I probably will not go back. That can't happen right now. To many things are going on all around me. I guess I'm fine with that. I have to be. I tell my self I have no other choice but to fine with not going back to school. I made the choice to have this life and I do love it. I just for get who I am as a person. I sometimes feel like I'm a stranger to my self. That I'm on the out side looking in at my life. |
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Monday, October 23, 2006 - Untitled Comment
 Posted by 4byGodsgrace
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I can completely relate! Have you ever seen the commercial with the invisible mom? I couldn't tell you what the commercial was for but it made me laugh! I think all of us sahm's feel like this at least one time or another (probably a lot of times!)
It's so easy to get sucked up in your family that you lose yourself! There are a couple of things that I do now that have made it a little easier.
1.Get up earlier than everyone else! That gives me time to read my bible, take a shower, get dressed (really dressed, not sweats or flannel pj bottoms:O)
do my hair and put a little bit of make-up on. I feel so much better about myself being clean and ready for the day, and if for some reason I have to run to the store or an appointment I don't look like a beat-up Mommy!:O)
The other thing is having the kids go to bed a little earlier (8pm not too early) this gives me time to do a quick pick up, fold laundry wash floors etc and still have a couple of minutes for myself to read or go on-line.
Also,is there a womens bible study that you could join? Just an hour out of the week that's for you?
Anyhow, sorry for rambling and I hope this helps! I'll keep you in my prayers:O)
Blessings,
Kelley
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