Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Overwhelmed and Drowning

I feel as though I am going under.

Drowning.

I wish, wish, wish I could just evaporate and go away quietly.

I am feeling swallowed up by depression, today, and do not know what to do. This is the first time, since I've arrived here at the shelter, that I've felt this bad, this long...

I wish I could just give up.

Go home.

All this would go away.

I could have my own surroundings again. My pillows. Our pets. My garden and flowers.

There would be no shelter, no strangers, no courts, no meetings with housing authorities, no forms to fill out, no questions about the future.

Just the familiarity of home.

I am locked, locked, locked in this place, and it feels like a prison. I have no credit, no home, nothing.

I just wish I didn't have to go on.

I wish I could bury myself in my bed, here, and sleep. When I am sleeping, I do not have to think. I do not have to expend energy...

I have no energy.

All I have is weakness.

Where are you Lord? Why do You feel so far away?

Please, God. Help!

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Thoughts

Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Monica
Said:

Don't give up, you've come so far. Righteousness and truth will always prevail.

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Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Anonymous
Said:

((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))) Oh Carrie, I wish I could give you a real hug. Jesus, Surround Carrie and her kids with your love. Give her a sign that she is doing what is right and that you are with her. Send somebody to her now Lord, that will give her the encouragement that she needs. Give her peace, wisdom and courage to continue on this horrible fight. Lord, there is sin in this world, and people have free will. Her husbands free will has caused this pain, NOT CARRIE! Let her realize and help her to go on with this fight. We love you Lord, and we know that your plans for this family is good, not evil, prosperous, not poverty. Help them now Lord. Surround them with your loving arms. In thy name we pray, Amen.
Cheryl

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Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - Jesus will make you strong

Anonymous
Said:

So many of us have felt this way too. I know I did. Let the rod and staff of Jesus comfort you. The sun will shine again for you, dear Carrie. You are doing the right thing, even though it is oh so difficult.

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Thursday, July 24, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Anonymous
Said:

Sometimes the Lord will allow us to sink to the absolute bottom of ourselves so that we can see that 'we can't do it'.
Being a head strong type myself, many times He has let me sink deep...........deep............before *I* would look up and say "I am ready Lord".
Daniel 4:28-37 is a great reminder to me just who's in charge.

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Thursday, July 24, 2008 - prayers

kc
Said:

You are doing the right thing. It doesn't feel like it. You need to open up to any staff that consults with you. They have had experience with what you are going through. That "prison" is a fortress here on earth that God is using to protect you and your beautiful children. They need you - so badly; in every shape and form. Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. Try, as hard as it might be, to look toward them and let this drive you upward; to give you the strength you need to press on.

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Thursday, July 24, 2008 - Praying!

safords
Said:

I can do ALL things through Christ which strengtheneth me.Philipians 4:13. He's there for you and your kiddos. Hang on girl! Your children are worth it... someday you will look back and be glad you did. I won't stop praying for God's intervention and for Him to give you a sign of His care today!

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Thursday, July 24, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Anonymous
Said:

Praying for you more than ever. Please dont give up, I believe you are doing the right thing for you and your children. This is for a season, this too shall pass in God's timing. Praying for you to be strengthened, filled with God's peace and hope and rest. Praying for you and your children to draw together like never before and to draw to our Lord like never before. My heart aches for you, stand strong in the Lord- He will lift you up and hold you.
Lori G.

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