• DON’T IDEALIZE the church – it’s glorious, not because it’s perfect (after all, you’re in it!), but because it’s being redeemed.

• DON’T CRITICIZE your fellow-believers anytime or the pastor (especially never ever before or after a Sunday service: the Devil’s already doing that; don’t you help him).

• DON’T POLARIZE in church meetings or committees. ‘I don’t agree’ is very negative: try ‘Is there perhaps another way of looking at this?’

• DON’T OSTRACIZE people whose psychological ‘chemistry’ is different to yours, or who do not see things your way. Be Christian, and greet them warmly, and pray with them anyway.

• DON’T IDOLIZE the pastor or any other leader: we are all fellow- strugglers and we all have feet of clay.

• DON’T MONOPOLIZE conversations: be that kind of rare person who is an empathetic listener.

• DON’T ORGANIZE anything ‘off your own bat’. Initiative is good: initiative plus collaboration plus accountability is better.

• DON’T HOMOGENIZE. Talk to people who are not your cronies (even tax-collectors and sinners do that). Accept people who are not like you theologically. After all, God’s truth may include both your and their understandings!

• Above all, DON’T VERBALIZE your frustration or negativity about the church to others: it is sure to discourage them. Do it with the Lord, a spiritual director or counselor, and possibly, after much prayer, to a responsible leader. The devil is very clever: he puts words into our mouth like: ‘Would you (my friend) pray with me about the problem I have with...’

• Instead REALIZE that the Church is loved by Christ, so be patient with each other: the Lord hasn’t finished with any of us yet!