I feel like all I am posting is bad news but that seems to be all I have right now.

My brother was kept in the hospital for a few more days. It seems that his "hh" levels have dropped. Now I don't know what that is but my bosses wife(bossman is a dr.) said if the "hh" levels get to six or below he could go into a coma....his is at 8 right now. The have started giving him blood this morning and are going to do the exploratory surgury tomorrow morning to see if they can find the bleeding and see if it can be stopped. I guess he is still having internal bleeding somewhere.

He is in good spirits most of the time and that is a good thing, we joke back and forth all day through texting and phone calls. He is on a soft food diet and I like to tease him about that. Mom has went up to be with him. And I guess it is a wait and see what the surgury finds tomorrow morning.

I guess I do have some good news after all, you all know through previous post that I am studying the bible more and trying to learn more about GOD and all that intails. Well this morning I went to my back porch, got down on my knees and asked GOD for forgiveness for my sins and that he help me accept him into my life. I asked him to help me live how he wants me to live and show me his ways.

I have to say that I was shaking for like 10 minutes afterward and I kept tearing up. Not sure why, maybe worried about a big change or something....I don't do well with change.LOL  But I do know I will be communication more with the LORD and giving everything over to him so that he can lead the way for me from now on.

Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to post some positive news.

Keep on praying!

Nancy

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I am sorry to say that after they pulled life support my aunt did indeed pass. It is a sad time for her family. We will be going to the visitation, but they have opted for creamation so there will not be a funeral. My mom is holdiing up well right now, and one of my brothers went to be with her for a few days.

My oldest brother is still in the hospital, they are gonna start the tests today. I talked to him this morning and he said he is feeling much better. His blood pressure is back to normal, he had lost lots of blood when he was throwing it up, and his HH levels have gotten back to where the doctors wanted them. He is upset though.....they have him on a liquid diet and it is driving him crazy! LOL  It is nice to be able to laugh right now.

He told me what had happened yesterday. He was talking to one of the guys that had came back from lunch early and all of a sudden he felt dizzy. He went to sit down, the guy asked if he wanted a wet rag for his head and he said yes. So he put that on his head, and then the guy(James) asked if he wanted another one. Again he said yes, but he said James's voice was fading. Next thing he knows he comes to with a trashcan being held up to his face and there was blood in it. He was actually throwing up the blood while he was passed out. He threw up some more and heard his BIL on the phone with 911 telling them he had came back to consinious(sp). His wife was gone to the bank and they called her to get back quick. By the time she got back the ambulance was backing out with him so she just followed it to the hospital.  I asked my brother today if his son had been there(he has early release from school for working) and he said that Matt had come in from school during all this. I feel so bad that he had to see that, I am sure it is scarey.

But anyway, they think it is a bleeding ulcer but they want to do more test to make sure and if it is to see what they need to do for it.

Yesterday evening my sister calls me and is crying, she said she got a call from her father in law that her mother in law was having chest pains and he was rushing her to the hospital!  So much happening right now, we are all so stressed!  I got the update on her MIL this morning, she was sent home last night, still having some pains, and they are gonna do a stress test on her today.

Again, if everyone will continue to pray for us I would be grateful.

Thanks and GOD BLESS.

Nancy

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My family is in need of prayers!   I called my mother to tell her about a mulberry tree I found here on the farm and she told me she was in the hospital with her sister.  Aunt Diane had spent the night at a friends house and fell down a flight of stairs......and ended up with a broken neck.  Now my mom and Diane have not gotten along for quite a few years now because Diane moved down here to GA. and took my grandmother in when she got alzhiemers to take care of her. It was found out she was taking grandma's money and then she wouldn't let the other kids come see her. The others actually had to take Diane to court to get "visitation" of thier own mother.  Well needless to say Diane and her siblings have been "fueding" since then.

So when Diane's children came and told mom about the accident she went to the hospital to make her peace with her. She did get to talk to her but didn't get any reaction from her, except one tear out of one eye. I don't think she is responsive at all, she is on life support. Her family is having to make the decision about wheather to keep her on support or turn it off. The doctors think if it is turned off she will most likely pass, but if she lives she would probably  be a vegetable. She had stopped breathing 3 times and the third time it was 15 minutes before they got her back, so she was without oxagen for at least 15 minutes at one time.   I told mom to tell my cousins I will be praying for them and thier mom, and to give them each a hug from me. They were there for me when my daddy died and I will be there for them in thier time of need.  So the first prayer request if for my aunt Diane, for GODS will to be done, wheather he decides it's her time or not, and for strenght for her family in this time of need.

When I hung up with mom I called my oldest brother to tell him and he sounded funny and I asked him what was wrong......he tells me he is in the hospital because he got dizzy, passed out and when he came to he started throwing up blood. So we need prayers for him to get better and find out what it is causing it.

UPDATE: Just got a call from my sister, they are keeping my brother in the hospital overnight for tests, although they are leaning towards a bleeding ulcer. And she said that my mom had told my sis-in-law that the cousins had decided to go ahead and take my aunt off life support. I haven't heard how she is doing though.

So if everyone would send prayers our way for my aunt, her family and my brother it would be much appriciated.

Thanks to all and GOD BLESS!

Nancy

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Mother's day yesterday for my family was good but bittersweet. It was the first holiday without my daddy. We all went out to eat...14 of us in all...and even though it took 2 hours for our meal to get to us(thats another story.LOL) we kept our spirits up and otherwise had a good time.

Most of us met back at mom's and visited there for a while. I went to daddy's grave to give him a note I had written him and a pic of us on my wedding day. I left them in a quart jar so they wouldn't get wet. And if anyone else in the family wants to leave him little notes or momentos they can leave them in the jar also. One of my brothers and his wife were there with me. There were tears but not as many as when it first happened.

Got back to mom's and my oldest brother saw I had been crying and was giving me a hug, I wear a bluetooth earpiece for my cell phone and it got pushed during the hug, which tells it I want to use voice command. So I took it off real quick and looked down at my phone to see if it went through. It had and the voice commands were listed on the screen so I was taking it off my hip to clear it out and as I was pushing the clear button I looked down and the screen said "dad". It was to late to stop clearing it so I lost it. I wish I could have shown my brother. I told him about it and he said maybe it was the sign he has been looking for from daddy.

Well this morning he texted me to tell me that when he was almost home last night(he lives 1 1/2 hours from mom and I live 2 hours away from her, in opposite directions) he was using the voice command to call me and see if we made it home safely and every time he said Nancy the voice asked "did you say dad?"  Nancy and dad of course don't sound anything alike. So we believe he got his sign that daddy was ok, and that he had made it to heaven. I also take it as daddy was with us on mother's day.

I hope we gave mom a good mother's day, all her kids were there and that was the first time in a long time that we were all there on mother's day. 

After we got home my ds gave me my gift, a wireless mouse for my laptop. I just love it....I really hated having to use my finger on the little pad of the laptop to move the curser around. Little things make me happy! LOL

Well back to work....last of the chickens arriving today. We are getting the smallest they have and that means about 30 thousand per house...we have 6 houses. WHEW! LOL

Have a good day!

Nancy

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This weekend I was gifted a new bible by my sister.  The reason for this gift stemmed from the passing of my father on april 1st.  My oldest brother told me that if I wasn't saved I wouldn't see my father again in heaven. I didn't know what to do....because even though I have always believed in GOD I don't know him personally. 

You see, we didn't go to church much growing up, and when I was a teenager I had tried to read the bible but it was confusing and I didn't understand it. So I just gave up trying.  And even though I DO believe in GOD, I don't always believe in church. I have been to a few churches that weren't what I was expecting. They either seemed way to money hungry, or were being used a a place to "see and be seen" if you know what I mean. People there just to show off what they have or have done. And although I don't know GOD, JESUS, or the BIBLE intimentally, I do know you are supposed to be humble. Showing off what you have or have done for others is bragging and to me that is not humble.

So since I don't go to church and am shy and afraid to try new things, I have never really tried to understand any of this. Oh I have wondered, and had questions, but have not asked for help understanding it all.

So since my brothers and sister are afraid for me, and want to help me my sister got me, my dh and ds each a new bible. And for this I am very grateful.  Now I will read the bible, and hopefully understand it better now that I am older. I am thinking of using an online bible study guide as extra help. I will also ask for help from family and friends if I don't understand something.

I have already started reading, I started at the first to begin with, but have skipped to Ruth, Job(not finished with him yet a little confused with parts of it), and James(which is my fathers name and I felt like I needed to read that  too).

To tell you all the truth it was reading the blogs here that got me back to thinking about GOD, and the bible and everything. And wanting to learn more about it all. Sometimes I wonder if maybe this is why GOD took my father, He knew that I was wondering, but would not take that first step on my own and needed a push. Of course if that is why I am sad for it, although it was his will. And if that was it....it worked.

Here is a picture of my new Bible that is gonna get lots and lots of use from now on.

It is very pretty isn't it? LOL

If anyone has any tips or suggestions I would gladly accept them.

Thank you and GOD bless you.

Nancy

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Today is just beautiful, sunny, warm, but not  to hot. It is wonderful weather for planting my garden, but we are going out of town this weekend for like 3 or 4 days and there will be no-one to water it so I will wait till I get back. Usually my daddy helps me out with my garden, giving me the whats and whens of planting. I never tried to keep up with it before because I took for granted he would always be there to tell me. Now I am having to do it on my own. Oh I know what I will plant and when I am gonna do it, but I usually just let daddy tell me when is the best time. With him gone I have mixed feelings about gardening.  My daddy was all about gardening and it makes me sad to remember he won't be here to help, but glad that I will still be carrying on his tradition, and passion. My garden this year was supposed to be like double the size of my previous ones....again with daddy's help. So I will go on as planned, and hope daddy will still help me from above.

I am sure lots of you have already started your gardens, how are they coming along? What have you planted, what do you still want to get planted? Let me take a peek into your garden.LOL

Nancy

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What I remember about april 1st 2008.....

I remember my sister calling and asking if anyone was here with me.....letting me know right away this was not a good call. I remember her telling me my cousin had found my daddy collapsed on the office floor of his auto repair shop. I remember her saying he was awake in the ambulance when she got a glimpse right before they headed to the hospital with him. I remember my ds driving me the two hours to where they live from where we live. I remember telling my son that it was bad because my sister had said she would call with updates but no call ever came in. I remember when we got to the hospital I called my sisters cell and her husband answering and I knew again it must be bad and she is to upset to talk. I remember walking into the emergancy waiting room and seeing my nephew sitting there just staring, and two of my brothers, my sister and her husband standing outside the doors in a group waiting for me. I remember looking at them and then my sister walking toward me just shaking her head, I remember hugging her and crying as my brothers gathered around for a big family hug. I remember one of my brothers telling my son "we lost him Bubba". I remember seeing my brothers cry and finding that really hard. I remember asking where my mom was. I remember them saying she was inside the room with dad. And as they started leading the way I felt kinda panicked thinking "i don't want to see this" I remember going into the room and seeing my mom standing by the bed and my daddy laying there covered to the neck with a sheet, tape across his mouth holding the little tube that they used to help him breath. I remember going straight to my daddy and hugging him. I remember everyone gathering around touching with comforting hands. I remember hugging my mama. I remember having to leave that hospital knowing my daddy wouldn't be leaving with us. I remember going back to my parents house knowing my daddy would never be there again. I remember that being the first day of the worst week of my life.

It is so hard, it is so painful. I have never cried so much in my life. Sitting in the funeral home the next day listening to the director asking questions about obituaries, caskets, the service ect....and just thinking I didn't want to be making these decisions, that I didn't care if someone thought daddy might like this or that, that I didn't want to be strong....I just wanted my daddy back.

So many decisions, so many friends and family, so many hours of crying. It is still hard. I had thought I was doing pretty good, after all it has been 18 days and it has to get better right? But tonight it hit hard again and I got sad and then I cried again. I called my oldest brother for some support. He told me it is ok and it is normal. That he had a really rough night wednesday night too.

We will make it through, we will still cry...for the rest of our lives we will feel the pain and lonelyness(sp) of not having our father in our lives. We will miss him, sometimes more than others like tonight. And we will always still love him.

Now I want to show you all a picture of my father

He always had a cigar in his mouth, but he quit smoking it when my son was a little guy. Everyone who knows him knows his cigar.LOL

In loving memory always

James Henson  1939-2008

Nancy

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As I have written before we had bought 9 bull calves from a dairy about an hour from us so we could raise some for our own meat and sell some for a profit later.

Well it was time for us to have them cut to be steers. Our good friend came over to do the deed for us today. DS was catching them and laying them down and our friend was doing the cutting and spraying with a medicated spray.  We were about 5 of the 9 into the cutting when ds laid one down and our friend said "we won't be cutting this one." I looked down to see why and to my surprise......IT'S A HEIFER!!!!!!!!

I was soooo excited, I have been wanting a milk cow for years now...mainly a jersey.....and we just couldn't afford one. And here we are now, with a nice little heifer - half jersey, half holstien and she only cost us $20!!!   We never thought to check for a heifer because when you buy from a dairy and only pay $20 you are only getting the bull calves. Dairy's keep all thier heifer calves for replacements, and they are soooo hard to find.  We don't know how it happened but my prayers were answered and I now have my future milker! It must have been a mix-up.....but we are blessed to have her.

Our son's friend was here and after we found out it was a girl he saw her peeing and said "the way she pee's didn't give it away?" LOL  I told him we didn't sit and watch them pee, we just assumed a calf from a diary that was $20 was a bull calf!

We got this calf on the 20th of Feb, and never realized.LOL  She was one of the first two and we have been calling her Shorty, and the other one Lefty. So I guess we will keep the name for her.  So I would like to introduce you to Shorty.....

I just can't stop smiling, I am so happy.  I know it will be two years before we get milk from her. She has to be breed first and we won't do that till she is at least 15 months old, maybe a little later. She needs to be 2yo before she calves. But it will be worth the wait.

Thanks for visiting.

Nancy

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This morning DH and I woke up, made us a cup of hot cocoa, sat on the back porch and watched the sunrise.  It was sooooo pretty. Watching the sky turn from dark to kinda bright to orange and gold and finally the sun peeking over the horizon. So peaceful.

Now I have opened the windows and am letting the wonderful spring breeze blow through the house. It is nice to be able to let  the fresh air cool the house. Although ds is sitting on the couch under a lightweight throw! LOL The couch is directly in front of the window and he is catching the full effect of the breeze. Still a little cool this early in the spring I guess.LOL But who can resist a open window in the spring.

Supper tonight is gonna be chicken strips on a stick grilled on the bbq. Half seasoned with teryaki and half with cajun. Also we will have a pasta salad and baked potatoes. And for dessert white cake with chocolate icing and ice cream. YUMMMMMM!

Hope everyone had a wonder and happy Easter.

Nancy

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I absolutely love living on the farm! Since we moved to the farm in sept. I have decided to have all the family gatherings I wasn't able to have at my little house before we moved. And I am constantly coming up with ideas and planning gatherings in my head! LOL

We had our first gathering that I fondly called "The First Annual Fall Family Gathering On The Farm" LOL back in october. It was the same weekend that our little town had the Chitlin' Hoedown, planned that way so everyone could go and enjoy the arts and crafts, food, and parade of the Hoedown. That was one way of providing entertainment without having to plan it myself! LOL But here on the farm we had hayrides, horserides, 4-wheeling, fishing, farm tours, and pumpkin carving and caramel apple making. Of course we had a big dinner also. It turned out to be a big success!

It was to cold for anything in the winter, maybe this year I will have thanksgiving here for a winter gathering. But now that spring is coming I have already made out the invites to my Spring Fling!!!!

The Spring Fling menu will be a lite and easy dinner which will include: Baked ham, grilled chicken fingers on a stick, spicy shrimp, broccoli salad, fruit salad, coleslaw, grilled corn on the cob, rolls, mom's coconut cake, and cherry pie.  The entertainment will include fishing(a favorite here), 4-wheeling(another favorite), horseshoes, and a pie eating contest(wal-mart sells these tiny little pies in like 5 flavors that I love and I am gonna surprise the pie eating contestants with these little pies for the contest)lol and the biggie event is gonna be a scavenger hunt....they will have to find a list of things found on a farm. I will make a scavenger hunt kit for each "team" and send them on thier way.....I will have a prize for the winners but have not decided what it will be yet.  I have also been toying with the idea of having a scrapbook station so each family could create a scrapbook page of the day to take home with them...that might be something I do for every gathering from now on. Just to help keep the memories alive!LOL

While planning the Spring Fling, dh and I were walking around one of the lakes and I started saying how it would be a good setting for a summer gathering......sooooooo....the Fourth Of July Campout At The Lake was born! LOL  So now I am also planning the summer gathering! LOL  This one will include camping for the whloe weekend and cooking over the open fire using our cast iron cookware, more fishing, swimming, tubing, canoeing, campfires with smores, and fireworks. I will have to wait on the menus for this one, I am getting ahead of myself! LOL 

I just love having the gatherings and being able to share the farm with family and friends. I never had the space to have them before and always wanted to be able to.....guess I am making up for lost time now! LOL

Thanks for listening to my ramblings.

Nancy

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