Compliments on our Toddler's Eating Habits.....

Posted on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 at 03:14

Saturday, we recieved a call from my older brother David, asking if we would like to join them for dinner that night at the Chinese resturant here in town.  Of course we wanted too!!! LOL  We love eating out, but have been trying to save money and have tried to cut back on eating out, but when your brother offers to take you out, you accept! LOL  Plus Chinese is one of our favorite places to eat out, and amazingly it is one of Noah's as well.  He eats well there, unlike some other resturants here in town.

We filled our plates and Matthew asked if he could sit by Noah and help him with his food while I relaxed a bit, and of course I accepted.  We try to trade off and on with this, but most of the time, this is my job, and I don't mind.  But  I certainly enjoy my meal more when Matthew helps out.

During dinner, my brother David bragged about how well behaved Noah was.  He was quietly sitting in a highchair with his bib on, eating chinese and drinking from his sippy cup of milk we had brough from home.  David was impressed that he knows how to wipe off his mouth and was polite by not making loud noises, throwing things on the floor, and touching other people's food.  Evidentially Tammy's neices (his wife) don't act as well in public because he said they run all over the resturant, put their fingers in his food all the time and just generally act like hooligans at the age of 5. 

I didn't want to offend anyone, because Tammy was already defending her neices (they are twins) by saying it was just their age, and all kids act like that when they are 5, and how Noah will do the same one day.  When Matthew and I got to the car, I said, our son, WILL NOT, act like that and if he does, we will leave the resturant and go home!  Matthew agreed. 

I spoke to my best friend Marcia about this as well.  She has 5 kids of her own and 5 step children (of which 3 are still at home) and they know that if you don't sit at the table, you don't eat.  If you get up for anything other than an emergency bathroom break, then when you come back, your food is gone.  This has taught them to sit and eat and get up to play later. 

I would never let my child get up and run all over the resturant (and I have seen Tammy's neices do this at resturants as well as in the middle of a church service at their church) and scream and chase each other and crawl under the tables, put their fingers in others food, etc.  My son acts the way he does at a resturant because he is taught to act that way starting at home!!!!!   Noah won't act like this when he is 5 because he isn't allowed to act like this at almost 2.

 Most of the time, we hear from others in the resturant when leaving that our son was a blessing to have nearby (he flirts by waving at the older ladies especially and smiling), or that he was such a well mannered child.  Others notice when you have a child in the resturant who isn't well behaved or disciplined, so when they see Noah acting so well, they fell they need to brag on us and thank us!!! LOL

We have only left a resturant because of our son's behaviour once.  We were at a nice sit down resturant and he started acting cranky and whiney.  We waited two or three minutes to see if he would calm down and when he didn't, we started putting his cup and bib in the diaper bag and asked our waitress to please take our food to the kitchen to have it put in doggie bags.  When she asked if everything was ok, we told her it was not her, nor the resturant, but we would have to leave due to our son and we didn't want to ruin anyone else's dinner.  She smiled and said she understood. 

When eating out with our child there are several small little rules we go by:

1.  We try to eat at a buffet or somewhere we know serves quickly, so he doesn't get impatient and cranky.

2.  We bring his drink, a small snack and either a small (not noisey) toy or crayons and a small coloring book to keep him busy until the food comes.

3.  We plan on sitting in the resturant for approximately one hour.  We have found if we stay much longer, our Noah wants to get down and play, or lap hop from person to person.  Since this is unacceptable, we leave.  If we are eating out with friends or family we would like to visit with longer, we will make another date for dinner at one of our houses, or we will offer to have to come straight to our house afterwards to visit more while Noah plays with his toys.

4.  We come prepared with a bib and our own hand towel, and wipes for quick and easy clean up.  We try to leave the resturant in decent shape when we leave.  We do not allow our son to throw food on the floor, but occassionally something is accidentially dropped and we pick it up and place it on the table.

5.  We talk to our son and oversee his eating experience and do not ignore him for the adult coversation.  The parent sitting closest to him oversees his food adn drink intake and keeps his entertained a little while we are eating.  If we both are sitting close to him, we trade off and on during dinner taking care of him and bringing him into the conversation when possible. 

Thanks for letting me share this!!

God's Blessings,

Amy Jo

Congrats on your well behaved child:-)

Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 at 04:24 - Link

May I gently say that I hope Tammy or your sis-in-law don't read the post, though, as they could be hurt knowing this was posted about them;-) I have 4 kids, and have had 2 who were well behaved in restaurants and two who often weren't. It's not always a matter of anything mom and dad are doing right or wrong, although it "can" be. Sometimes some parents aren't as blessed with common sense or knowing what to do in those situations. Some kids just have a harder time with the environment and self control, etc. I just hope we can all give grace and compassion for the many possibilities...even lend a hand when we can.

I do remember leaving with my kids many times..lol! I hope I didn't offend in any way with my viewpoint, and you can just remove this if you want:-)

I do hope all your kiddos are as well behaved as your little guy is now! I know it's a blessing! I will say that my wild ones grew up to be calm, respectful, and well behaved teens, so there's hope for the twins, too:-)

~~~~~I am not offended or hurt by what you say, but I am indisagreement with you. I think even a hyper active child can be tamed depending on how you treat them, what entertainment you bring with them, their training, etc. If a child can't sit still and isn't good in a resturant, they either need more training in this, or you need need to try a different method. I would not simply give up and say I had two who were wonderful in public and then two who were not.

Just my opinion.
Amy Jo

Edited by gabbie427 on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 at 10:14

all in the training

Posted by AbiBuening on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 at 04:27 - Link

Yep it's all in how you train them when they're young. Our girls we good in restaurants when they were little too. But I have neices and nephews and friends' children that would run around and all and the parents never said a word or they did but it didn't mean a thing. Way to go. You should be proud. My kids never beg for things at department stores either. And never throw tempters or we just pack up and leave and I go back later without them. Just the way it was. Train them right and stick with it and they know what is acceptable and what isn't.

~~~~~We are just starting to train Noah. He isn't even two yet, but he is learning quickly. Noah is very good in the cart while grocery shopping as well, but he does ask for thing when he sees his favorite snacks. LOL We have a long way to go, and I am not saying it is easy, but I think training your child to sit still adn eat instead of letting them run all over the place is teaching them something that will obviously help them out later in life, when in school (if public schooled), etc.

Thanks for commenting!
Amy Jo

Edited by gabbie427 on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 at 10:17

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Posted by SisterLori on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 at 04:45 - Link

Blessings!
Having had 8 children I will say that you are right. Our children were never allowed to leave the table without being excused. Our grown children still ask to be excused when eating at our table:)
It wasn't often that we got out with 7 children in tow to eat in a restaurant but when we did, not only did the staff comment on our childrens behavior but so did the patrons. It was a confirmation for us that we were raising them well.
One particular restaurant that we would go to (because it was cheap and family friendly) more often than others, loved having the children come. They would see us in the parkinglot and get a table ready as soon as possible to accomodate our large crowd:) One time the host told us that he always got a kick out of the staff when our family showed up. He said they would flip a spatula to see who would serve our family. My husband asked if we were that bad and he said "Noooooooo, they fight over who gets your family because they enjoy your children so much!"
Not one of our children behaved poorly in a restaurant setting even at the age of 5. When they were very little they might get a bit fussy but I would just excuse myself and take said child to the car and finish my meal later:) Usualy it was because baby was overtired or not feeling well.
You are doing a wonderful job:)
God be with thee!
Sister Lori

~~~~~We get compliments on Noah's behaviour in resturants all the time, and I love hearing them as well. I definately want to be one of those families that the waitresses love to see coming!! LOL
Amy Jo

Edited by gabbie427 on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 at 10:19

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Posted by Kitty on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 at 05:44 - Link

That is one thing I highly believe in, manners when eating out. My mom was a waitress in a really nice rest. for many many years. She had horror stories of people that would let their kids run around and make messes or even knock people over. I so disapprove of that. I have left a place once or twice cuz the baby was crying or sick, but never because they were misbehaved. You go girl, manners now, manners later. Your a good mom............Kitty

~~~~Thanks Kitty!!!! Often times when Matthew and I get to go out to dinner by ourselves we will got o a drive in and just go eat it at the park or something, because too often some toddler who is running around with a squirt gun, or a baby screaming and crying and the parents ignoring it interupt our dinner out. We left ours at home because we wanted a nice quiet dinner, but others don't understand this!!!!

Thanks for the comment!!!
Amy Jo

Edited by gabbie427 on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 at 10:22

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Posted by seventhheaven on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 at 09:27 - Link

I strongly agree with you. Children only do at age 5 what they are allowed to do at age 2. My 6 year old is a very strong willed child. Sometimes if he really sets his mind to act up he does. But we have fervently been training him on manners and his temper and the way he acts. We seem to have to work with him more than our other children. If he does start to act up like this in public he immediately is disiplined. Once we were in a restuarant and he was determined he was going to get up and play the video games that was there, so once we saw he wasnt going to listen my husband got his food put in a styrofoam container, took my son out and they set in the car while the rest of us stayed and ate. ( and my son could not take his food with him) Weve ate in this resturant several more times and have never had this problem since. So even the most stubborn child if started out when they are young can be trained.

~~~~Good for you!!! Thanks for posting this. I was talking to a girlfriend today who does the same thing. If the child gets up, then he misses the rest of the meal (unless it is for a quick restroom break). I understand children are going to act up on occassion and some more than others. Kudos to you for not just giving up but being diligent on the discipline and training with him.
Amy Jo

Edited by gabbie427 on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 at 10:24

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Posted by micandme on Wednesday, March 12, 2008 at 08:55 - Link

Well, I have to say that after struggling with how to train and discipline a very difficult child.... I don't think it's ALWAYS in how you train them. My middle child is expected to behave the same way that her older sister and younger brother are to behave. And yet, if she decides to misbehave, she will. We've yet to discover something that "works" with her. We're consistent and have certainly not given up by any means, but I have a sneaking suspicion that she will probably always have a mind of her own. I'd like to give her to the "it's all in the way you train them" people for a while. If you could figure her out, I'd be thrilled and she'd be much happier, and if you couldn't, then I wouldn't feel like such a failure reading what you have to say.

Now, all that said, most of the time, our children behave well in a resturant. We get compliments sometimes, but most often we just are happy keeping below radar and not drawing any attention at all. :)

I find myself reading horror stories about incidents people have witnessed and thinking, well, someone could probably have described us that way last week. It may not be the way my child always behaves, but we've had our share of horror stories, and if that was all anyone ever saw of that particular child, oh, my.... I'll certainly never be in a position to think I've done it all right! Ha!

I, too, am happy for those who never have any problems in public with their children, and who always know how to fix anything that arises, but for goodness sake, please have a little mercy on those of us who don't always manage to keep it all together. We ARE trying!

~Michelle

Ps... OOPS! I forgot to add that I AM glad your little boy behaved so nicely. It is always a great testimony when families are enjoyable in public. :)


Edited by micandme on Wednesday, March 12, 2008 at 10:38

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Posted by OklahomaSweetPea06 on Wednesday, March 12, 2008 at 09:16 - Link

I have to agree, my children also too know how to behave when we are outside the home because we taught them that rowdy behavior is not acceptable, No different than a child who is plagued by the terrible twos, my two kids didnt go that route, sure they tried to test the boundaries but when they did consequences were right in order.

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Posted by christianmommaali on Wednesday, March 12, 2008 at 05:16 - Link

That is sooo cute! =] I definitely have to agree with your friend, about the age thing, though. We work with Connor on just about everything, but he is still almost 5 and 5 year olds act up occasionally. What I don agree with is the fact that she left it at that. When a 5 year old acts up in public you should definitely have a plan like the one YOU my dear just shared, so for that I am proud of you!!! =]

YOU ARE AN AMAZING MOTHER, and matthew and amazing father! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!

(((Amy Jo)))

Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, March 12, 2008 at 06:40 - Link

Oh my goodness, I would never advise to give up! I'm very sorry if I gave that impression. I certainly didn't give up, and all 4 of my children did learn to behave in public and at home. I guess I wasn't clear on that. It does take longer for some kids than others, though, and some kids have things such as food sensitivities,or other countless issues that could affect their behavior that may not be known yet, or even just not known to others. Some of mine did. I have friends who have kids who do, also. There can be so many reasons people have a hard time with so many things, (even disciplining their children), especially children.

There are many parents who do things in a Godly manner, and still have kids who aren't always well behaved...(even in the Bible). We need to do our best to train our children, but I hope we can be humble when things go well for us with our children (or in any way), and merciful and kind when they don't go well for others. I know a family who had 6 children who all sat nicely and behaved perfectly, but number 7 blessed them with the knowledge that it wasn't only their wonderful training that affected a child's behavior..lol!

Well, I just wanted to be sure I didn't lead anyone to think they should not train their children, or worse yet, give up! I agree, we need to keep working at it, and you are doing that, Amy Jo, and that is wonderul! Michelle, you are also! Everyone has bad days. I also agree that it is good manners for the adults to remove the children if they create a ruckus in public! We did that, too! I guess after raising 4 children (3 birth one adopted), and being involved in home childcare since 1987, foster care, adoption, and on to being a grandparent,now, I just wanted to offer hope and grace to those who are struggling. I hope to be approachable by speaking kindly of them and to them, and keeping in mind that I am flawed in so many ways myself....I've learned so much since I started having babies and caring for many children over the years, but I'm still learning, too, (by God's grace only)! I'm glad He is pateint with me!

Blessings to you and your precious family!