Thank you ladies for your much needed advice adn urgence to pray on the matter.

I spoke to Hubby last night about simply stopping and looking as he leaves a room and making sure he takes what he brought in with him, etc. and putting it where it belongs.  He agreed he had really starting relaxing on helping me do this and would take care of his own things.  We also talked about how we are supposed to be a team and that unfortunately lately I haven't felt like part of the team due to him making some life altering decisions on his own and etc.  We agreed we need to come together once more as husband and wife on these matters, and when something is bothering one person (whether it is DH wanting to go back to school, or the socks left in the living room), then it affects the disposition of that person and should be handled in the most delicate way possible. 

You see, I have realized something in me has changed this year.  The truth is, I have NOT always been a good house keeper, laundry maid, or cook in the past.  I would have been lucky to get a baking sheet with french fries and chicken nuggets in the oven twice a week before, and although the house was not ransacked, it was rather cluttered and untidy, and the laundry waited till we were out of clean underwear to do anything about it.  For the last year, I haven't been as attentive of a wife and mother as I would have liked to be, because my main focus was helping with my sick mother and father who lived across town.  Dad died in the fall of last year and mom died 6 months later in the spring.  I miss them both terribly and being busy with cancer treatments, doctirs appointments, and just babysitting them since they had no strength to care for themselves took up most of my days.  I was tired and probably depressed when I arrived home and not much was done around the home.

Now, things are different.  I have picked up the pieces that loosing my parents have left m with and found a new lease in life.  I have renewed my vows to take care of my home, and my family in the best way that I possibly can.  Rarely do we have a prepackaged meal in the house anymore, and the laundry never goes 2 days without running a load.  The main area of the house is cleaned on a weekly basis and most weeks more than that.  Since I have been having problems with my back, I have asked DH to sweep and mop for me, but I enjoy taking care of the house and Noah for him.  I appreciate the fact that he does work hard to make a way for me to stay home.  I take pride in the way my house is kept and the food that is served on the table, and the fact that no one has to ask if there are any clean towels in the house.  I take pride in my duties just as any man would take pride in working his job all day and having a sense of accomplishment.  I don't want my family to feel embarassed if they want to bring friends over without notice!!! 

A comment Rashel made me think though.  She said her versio of clean and her husband's may be different.  After thinking about this, I know this is correct.  I grew up in a tidy house.  It wasn't perfect, but my mother was a SAHM for most of my years at home, and at an early age she made sure I understood things didn't just miraculously clean themselves, but she did it.  She taught me how to cook, do the laundry and to clean at an early age too.  (Of course at that time, I thought she was sooo mean making me do these things.  Before she died, I thanked her a thousand times for teaching me especially how to cook!)  My DH on the other hand grew up in a very cluttered, very untidy home, where boxes of paperwork were stacked to the tops of the doors.  His mother and father are both packrats and hoarders of just about anything you can imagine.  You honestly would not believe the clutter and piles of "treasures" in their house.  DH wasn't taught to put things away, clean up after himself, or to declutter.  So this, is where some of the problem may lie.  When I had more time around the house, was finally feeling better and not so depressed about loosing both parents within 6 months (they were both 63), and started doing my "woman;y duties around the house" again, he slacked off taking care of himself. 

He apologized last night, and I apologized for not telling him more often how proud of him I am, how much I appreciate the fact that he is a hard worker making a way for me to be a SAHM, and how much I notice and appreciate the little things HE DOES do like changing the icetrays daily and taking the trash out daily.  I told him I wanted him to know that even though I have some little bits of constructive criticism for him, I do see and realize the things he is doing right!!  Our men need to hear this more often, and after reading the posts here, and thinking and praying about it, I realized one of my many faults is seeing something wonderful someone has done, and not making a comment on it.  I think about it when I see it, but DH is gone at work, and I forget by the time he gets home.  Perhaps I need to write him a little note, or send him a short email every once in a while, thanking him for taking our the trash, emptying and filling the icetrays, or hanging my hooks in the laundry room today!!!

Ok, I am about to tear up now for some reason.  I think with this one thing, I have grown and realized alot of things and the tears of happiness, greatfulness, etc are starting to find their way down my cheeks!

SO.........................................on another subject.........Sarah went with a few girlfriends to the city today to shop, watch a movie, etc.  She was so excited to be able to get out with friends today and I knwo she will come home and tell me all about it!!!

Tonight was supposed to be DH's night to fix supper.  He offered to grill steaks, and I offered to help him with the side dishes (most likely corn on the cob and some other yummy veggie), but we didn't want Sarah to miss out on this so we have moved our steak night to tomorrow night instead.  I can't wait, and DH is really excited about showing off his grilling skills!!!  So tonight I might fix spaghetti and some garlic bread and a veggie.  I have some homemade sauce I need to use on something!

Tomorrow we will go to church as usual, with a short trip to Wal-mart to get anything we need.  Last week we packed sandwiches and such and went to the park to eat them after church, but this week we might splurge and eat out, most likely the Chinese resturant.  We all love chinese food!!!

I only have 2-3 things to pick up at Wal-Mart this time.  I am getting better about planning meals, and getting the groceries for 2 weeks of meals at a time.  This last time we spent just under $100.00 for 2 weeks of groceries, but I couldn't find a few things on my list, so I will try to find them tomorrow.  My goal is to stock up my pantry with enough canned adn dry goods so I don't have to make so many trips to the store every month, but I think I am doing well.  I have also learned that when DH stays in the car, our grocery bill isn't so large.  LOL  He seems to hoard as his parents did, and when we are tight on money, buying 5 boxes of cereal even if they are on sale, isn't possible!!  LOL But besides that, he asks me for something he wants or needs, and gives me that puppy face and I can't say no. LOL

I think that's all for now gang.  Talk to you soon.

God Bless,

Amy Jo