Seems that hubby wants me to go back to work FULL-TIME, so he can go back to school and better his education.  He absolutely loves his job, but hates the way his boss treats him and the other "heathens"  in office as well.  There are a few exceptions to this, but most are sleeping around, cheating on their wives, divorcing, drinking, living a "who cares as long as I am happy" lifestye and it is driving DH nuts.  His boss has just recently decided she needs to be even more controlling and witchy (sorry for the strong language), than she has been in the past.  If he has 2 appointments outside the office back to back, she calls him on the cell phone to make sure he is on the way to the second appointment..which she never did before.  She smokes and will stand out at the back dock adn smoke for 20-30 minutes visiting with the others, but DH can't take 2 minutes to go and deposit his check from work.  She has started monitoring everyhting coming in his email box (we don't send personal emails anyway, so I don't know whta she thinks she is going to catch).  She wasn't this bad about a month or two ago and now all of a sudden she has started breathing down his neck in a most annoying way.  This among many many other things.  He is a hard worker and takes pride in his job and his work, but he is going nuts.

So.........................he is looking around at schools, trying to figure out with God's help, what he wants to DO with the rest of his life in job career and he wants me to work full-time, put Noah in daycare, and support him. 

Now don't take this wrong, because when you get down to it, I would do anything for my family you understand......BUT I DON'T WANT TO!!!!!!!  When we got married, I was working and we decided I would continue to do so, until he got a job that would support us and possibly a baby.  Well, it wasn't long until I became pregnant (OOPS!), and he was offered a new job making as much as both of our jobs put together.  So I quit and stayed home the rest of the pregnancy and have been home all of Noah's 15 months of life.  I want to stay home with him and we have spoken several times about possibly homeschooling when he is of age and I am afraid everything is going down the tubes on this.  If I go back to work, I know I won't be homeschooling and I don't know for how long DH will be in school....possibly several SEVERAL years (more than 4).  So I am taking this opportunity to whine about how it seems our lifelong goals in life are falling apart at the seams today.  I don't like to complain to hubby because he thinks I am being selfish about all this, so I am complaining here instead.

We had a small conversation about this before he left for work, and I ended up crying.  Emotionally, I have just had about all I can handle and laid awake for hours after going to bed at 10pm worrying about this situation and I honestly don't want to htink about it or face it right now, but that is the reality of what I am dealing with and I must face it.  Up until 3 days ago, we were still planning on getting the house up for sale, moving to the small town we lived in before Noah was born where most of our friends and our church, as well as DH's current job is located.  It will cut down on our $250.00 a month gas budget tremendously, but now everything has changed at the drop of a hat and I don't know what to do!