Ok, I spilled my guts in the last blog and felt like I needed to purge some bad feelings and just grumble about life for a few minutes I guess.  LOL  Some would say this is not good, adn throw some Bible quote at me, but I feel that sometimes letting the tears and emotions and yes sometimes words fly can be healing at times.  No I wouldn't just say anything I wanted to the person, but in a blog like this where she will never see it, among friends and people I trust, I think it is ok.  My counselor tells me purging your tears or feelings by blogging, or journaling is healthy and if you let all these emotions become bottled up within you, eventually you will blow....and inevitably it is always wrong time, and wrong place now isn't it???  I have had some great posts from friends about the situation, and read a few posts that were non-related but have helped me get focused on the situation and helped me realize what I need to do next.

I still plan on having a family meeting sometime this weekend with Sarah, with hubby present.  I will ask her nicely to do a few things that are just habit in our family and I would appreciate it if she joined in doing so as well, to make the house run smoothly.  Then I will give everyone, myself, hubby and Sarah their lists of chores to do daily and/or weekly as ask that they be posted in a central spot in the house (kitchen probably), and encourage everyone to please make sure these are done and if they need heelp, have questions about how to carry our the chore, or dont' know where the proper supplies are to carry out the chore to please ask me.  Ignorance is not forgiveness in this issue.  I will insist that everyone in the house picks up after themselves (mostly hubby and Sarah.....I grip at myself when picking up after myself, but guarantee no one else picks up after me. lol), because I no longer will be their maid. 

I will continue to pray for Sarah, but after reading Rebekah's blog, I realize that perhaps I need to pray for a change of heart within myself as well.  I have been trying to hide how bitter I am about the way she acts, treats the family, her huffing and puffing when she is bored or upset, and the stomping up the stiars and slamming of doors, but honestly I have not once asked to be put in her place for a minute to know what she might be dealing with, away from her parents, knowing they don't care, being kicked out of other homes for not fitting in, and having no where to go.  She wasn't raised to automatically ask if she could help and what needs to be done, as I was, and she didn't come from an unconditional home of love like I did either.  I need to stop sometimes and think about her point of view.

I haven't talked to her about ANY of this as of yet.  I have only thought about it, prayed about it, blogged and journaled about it, spoke with hubby, etc.  So please pray I handle this in the correct manner this weekend.

Also on the prayer list.  I don't know how to tell you what is going on without a big long story of the past with my hubby's family, especially his parents, but I simply don't have time.  The short story is, there were things done and said against our will, without our permission, and against me,(one was his mother calling my mother after my father died, and trying to get my mom against me!!!!)  and hubby spoke up against his parents for me.  Also, they are FILTHY people, and I don't mean personality, but I mean housekeeping.  It is awful in their home, and I have refused to let my baby, who is now 15 months old crawl on the floor or be in the house after finding filth everywhere, fleas on my baby at 4 months old, and after his mother, sister and neice brought LICE into my house.  And yes they knew they had it!  So, his mother has not seen Noah in a few months, and his father in almost a year. We didn't spend Thanksgiving, or Christmas with his family last year because of all the hurtful hateful things that were said about me and the hurtful things his mother said to my mother as she was grieving the loss of my father.  The last time we met with his mother, his father was not willing to come and see us or his grandchild that he hasn't seen since he was 4 months old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   SO...................................tomorrow we are meeting with his mom AND dad at a local resturant.  The last time this happened with only his mom, it went ok, but I am really terrified of his father starting a big scene and getting all irrate with us.  They are not Christian people and therefore reasoning with them on any Christ-like, moral, friendly manner is usually put out the window.  We try to reason with them, but it doesn't always work.  Honestly I don't want to go and have tried to make excuses not to, but I know it must be done.  Hubby has been praying about the situation and has really felt lead to call them and set up this dinner meeting, so I will go, but I don't want to!   LOL  Please pray that God will place the right words in our mouths for the dinner, etc. with hubby's parents and I will try to keep you posted soon on how it went.