Bible Study thoughts as I face today...

  This week I began attending a new ladies Bible study in our church, the study is one in which  we will focus on how to allow the Holy Spirit to guide us in our Bible study personally...and how to begin to consistently allow God to direct our paths on a very personal level.  The questions for homework are provoking and honestly sometimes I just want to say  "I am not going there, its not worth it" but I have been led back to the questions time and time again this week in my thought life.  Today, an unrelated read also mentioned something that has been tugging at my heart.  A simple cry from my heart that has become a roar....one that I know is being encouraged from God to seek Him with as I approach facing the answers that the questions bring.

I want to be my best me for God.

Boy in a performance based world, one in which I am from a highly competitive family, BEST has alot of negative connotations.  Bottom line, best is never quite good enough in my past.  Choosing to tell God I want to be my BEST me for Him is risking that He might, like my earthly family, say  "you're not enough."

deep sigh.

But to not face that this is indeed what my heart is crying would be to turn my back on where my heart wants to go....whether it be in my physical health, my marriage, my homekeeping, my parenting...my reaching out to others.....

God certainly doesn't expect perfection or more than I can handle....that's me, all me, that places those burdens on myself. I'm too often an all or nothing kind of girl.....either its perfection or its perfectly not even attempted.....somewhere in the discipline of consistency will I know that God indeed finds a way for me to give him my best me.

I saw a quote from someone who has lost 200 lbs in the last four years...."My best me began when I realized that the continued path of small choices I made each day was what led me to being where I didn't want to be"  in the same way, consistent small things will lead to me becoming the me I want to be....it won't happen in a day, or a week, or even a month, but as I choose to let God show me the things he wants from me and do each small thing, they will change me just as the old bad choices did.

Amen and amen.

I feel guilty almost all the time deep in my heart.  Guilty that I am not better, that my home is not cleaner, guilt that I haven't shown my husband how much he truly matters to me more often, I know most days that I indeed don't come near hitting the mark.....but guilt is not where God intends for me to be either...nor in fear...nor in denial.

So today I choose to be my best me for God....and that begins right now with choosing to put away my kitchen as I nurture my family with cleanliness.....for it is the first thing that I know to do to be a bettter me!

God is good....allow him to envelop you with his never ending love for you.

09:52 - Thursday, January 15, 2009 - comments {1} - post comment

Blessed Monday

  Its COLD in Northern Alabama this morning. Dh got off to Denver, he's now in Atlanta where he's waiting for the wings to be de iced before continuing.  He'll be out of town all week.  Meanwhile we've got venison vegetable soup on the stove for lunch and shrimp thawing for dinner.   Madison has finished her math work and I've been working along laundry between writing on a job or two.

   We had a blessed weekend and have a calm week ahead.  We were excited to hear one of our friends did not have cancer when they opened him up last Wednesday, and Glenda is still awaiting her surgury after rescheduling.  The cancer was simply gone when they opened Pete up....I believe God's hand healed him, for they had such heavy evidence of Bladder cancer before his surgury, but afterwards the surgeon said "no sign of any growths!" Praise God!

     I'm excited about a new Bible study starting tomorrow at our church. I am so thankful to be in our new church and beginning to feel like we've found home. The teaching is solid and strong and we are thankful!

    My verse for this year is Psalm 90:17  May the beauty of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us yes, establish the work of our hands.  I am so asking God to keep my hands only on His work.....whether it be to prepare a hot meal for our family or another or to love a child who needs my touch....my goals were always so lofty in my past, but God has surely shown me that his ways are mild and often meek by the world's standards, but so very very focused on His love for us, through us.

God is good...enjoy the day!

Sweetie

11:39 - Monday, January 12, 2009 - comments {1} - post comment

Saturday

     Back from running to Aldi's for fruit. They have apples for 25 cents apiece, which is high, but they are pretty gala's in good shape.  3 lbs of oranges are 1.99 as well.  I was sorry to see no zuchini or squash this week, earlier I got them for 50 cents a package as well as celery.

    The boys are out trying to get another deer for the freezer, Madison and I are home baking lemon things from fresh lemons.  I want to get a few loaves in the freezer with my chicken and broths.  We're all enjoying Saturday, Les flies out Monday for a week out of town with the Dept of Defense in Colorado so it'll be a kids only week menu.

     Today is a relax with family day and then church tomorrow. God is good!

S

12:34 - Saturday, January 10, 2009 - comments {1} - post comment

Tuesday

    Its pouring rain here in Northern Alabama this morning and my prayers and thoughts are with two friends, each having serious surguries on Wednesday of this week.  Both good folks, both tired of being down with sickness.  I am praising God for their complete healing and favor in the coming days.

    The children are all home now.  School begins for our high school boy on Wednesday and I am ready to get a little back to normal here at the house. This week I am working on organizing the kitchen again, it seems we have so much stuff and not so much storage.  Its mainly from folks in my kitchen that didn't know where things go.

   This time of year I change out the dishes. I like to use different dishes different times of the year.  They change as I find a bargain and share a set with a person or family who doesn't have any....right now its a farmhouse set that my Dad bought me.  Special for he actually bought it himself....a rarity....usually gift giving was my mom when she was alive.

   We are hoping for a buyer for our Honda Civic 2001.  We found a Jeep Liberty that met our needs as a family better, thankfully one that we could pay for easily. The Civic has high mileage (201 K) but it has a been running perfectly and gets 38 mpg, so I am praying for God to send the right family by.

   I am getting excited about gardening this year. I am a novice gardener, but I have  been reading and talking to others and we found a little greenhouse at a yard sale for $5 that is going to help with our seedlings.

     Today is the last day with Chase out of school, so I will bake up, cook up, and enjoy letting him have his favorites.

God is good! Trust in Him!

09:57 - Tuesday, January 6, 2009 - comments {0} - post comment

Tuesday...

   We managed to get the two younger children to Arkansas to be with their natural dad for Christmas on the 18th and so Les and I were home alone until the 26th.  It was a quiet time, one that was unfortunately filled with some scary issues that happened to our 15 year old the week that school was out.  He's okay, but oh what that child went through.  We must always be viligant on who is influencing our children, not even adults we are aquainted with are safe, in our case, an adult woman was not at all as she was professing herself to be and it could have led to dire problems for son. We are so thankful that God revealed the issues to our hearts and sure enough, i after asking questions it was unsettling and we were able to prevent a huge drama from unfolding.

    The children have had a difficult Christmas. Their father had announced he was to remarry, he had only known the young lady for 8-10 weeks. The children want their dad to be happy, but this was unsettling for them.  They simply hadn't had time to prepare.   She is 28, much younger than he is (44) and they simply didn't know her.  Then when they arrived, he told them they were to have a new brother or sister.  Sadder still was that after that news,  a week later the young woman miscarried on Christmas eve.  How sad was my daughter and son, for no one wants anyone to hurt that way at Christmas.  My husband and I have been very prayerful for both of the adults and our children, for it is truly a difficult time for them to go through.  We all have to let go of the past hurts and reach out, forgive those who hurt us, and go forward.

     I have said it before and I will say it again. Divorce is never an answer without cost.  The children always pay.  I am happily remarried after many years alone, my children love their stepdad, but there is always a price they pay for their father's and I's divorce. always.  We try very hard to not put them in a place of choosing where to be, choosing who to celebrate with, etc....but they often feel torn and then there are the things like practicing all fall for a Christmas program at church they do not to be in because they have to go to the other parents.  Its simply sad.  Many do not have a choice in their divorce, but ladies who are considering it as an answer, before you do ....get some real answers to what the true costs are for you and your children.

     It is a time of pruning again.....letting go of things, thoughts, and patterns that do not help me to grow closer in my relationship to God.  To be watchful of my heart and my focus, to make sure that it is on that of God and not led astray by satan's lies.  I am so thankful for the life I have, bumps and warts and all....and I am most thankful for a God who loves me despite me.

God is good!

Sweetie

10:12 - Tuesday, December 30, 2008 - comments {2} - post comment