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We are slowly beginning the process of looking for a new home. I am really excited at the prospect of being able to have a "home" again. A place where we can fully unpack and decorate and garden too. We have been living our of boxes for a year now and I'm finding myself longing to be able to nest. I think this is a good sign because for so long I didn't care where we lived or if we were living out of boxes. But, I'm missing the comfort of familiar surrounding and memories. All of our family pictures are packed away and I'm looking forward to one day, hopefully soon, being able to pull them out. The kids have discovered their toy and room boxes and have begun slowly pulling their stuff inside. I don't blame them. Yes, it gives me more to pack when we eventually find a home, but it brings them comfort and I completely understand. When my in laws visited last summer, my sister in law noted that there wasn't "me" in the house because everything is packed away. So true. Hubby has had a hard time coming to the place of wanting to stay here, even though we agree that God brought us here, so we haven't settled in to our new city. However, he is warming up to being here and this opens up the door for us to start looking for a home. I'm feeling ready emotionally and physically. I want to make curtains and paint walls and decorate and plant a garden. The home we are renting has been wonderful and we have enjoyed its location immensely, but I believe the Lord is prompting us to begin our journey again to find our earthly homestead. I never knew I would care so much about having an earthly home, but I do. I know that a large part of my spiritual journey these past years was to learn to surrender all things to God. This was a doozy for me in many areas. I had to grieve the loss of 5 of my precious babies, the death of loved ones, the ending of familial and friendly relations, the loss of my home and even leaving the state I was born in. There were many other things I had to lay upon the alter as well. Ironically, as only God can do it, I was learning to be the mom of a large family. He has blessed me so richly with and through my 7 living children. I learned peace and contentment through this process. I'm human and stumble with fleshly desires, but God continued to be gracious and has also helped me to embrace certain things about myself and the unique person that He created me to be. I've become much more comfortable in my own skin. I've come to a place of identifying myself in Christ alone. When I get side tracked, I've become much more in tune to God's pulling me back on course. I feel peace and am ready for the next journey in our lives. This last year has been so hard in so many ways, but God is ever faithful and He blessed my isolation with His intimacy. I'm so thankful for His gentle and unending love. I'm so grateful for His grace and mercy and the hope that He kindles within me. Thank you, Abba Father, for everything. |
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Posted by Anonymous
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