July 4, 2008 - Today... Happy 4th!

I took the girls to the parade.  They decided at the last minute to help with the church's float, so I took them.  It's about 30-35 miles from our house, so we got up early and got some chores done then left.  The Parade theme this year was REMEMBER WHEN... and our church's float was small (just a pick-up truck with several walkers walking by it).  They had signs that said "Wise Men still seek Him"  and 3 wise men in the back of the truck with a wooden camel.  They got lots of cheers, I guess, through out the parade, so they knew people appreciated the thought.  My kids handed out flyers with the rest of the walkers... they has small children's booklets and magazines to hand out and a few adult flyers as well.  I just watched from a friend's house which is the very corner the parade starts and while we saw all the floats, many weren't in sync until after the first block. 

After the parade, I quickly ran into town with a friend's keys to her store and picked up as many empty boxes as I could fill in our mini van for the BIG FIRE CLEAN UP!  I so appreciated the boxes, that means I can start right away (and we did this afternoon), just removing dirty items from the immediate house and have them out of the way for the cleaners.  I packed up my cookbooks and then boxed up all the food they told me to throw and I also inventoried it all.  My girls packed a few boxes of items they did not want to have messed with when they are away at camp.  

We are to record our time cleaning and boxing items and we can work off our deductible.  The insurance adjuster told us to keep track of times.  He does not have the exact rate we will be paid at, but it will be between $8-10.  I figured if we got the rate of $8, we need to work off 132.5 hours.  So far, we've logged 16.25 hours.  Not much, but it's hard to do much when they say you can't clean until the cleaners come.  But some things like laundry and boxing up items we can do (now that we have approval).  I have four pages of inventoried items from my spice cupboards.  The adjuster said I'd likely have to take a price shop and get some prices on the items and then figure the cost... by how much was left in the packages.  Full, half, 1/4, etc.  I am really hoping that turning in sheet with prices will be adequate.  Rebuying everything right now seems just over my head.  First, there is no where to put it, and second, I just want the house clean before I think about restocking the cupboards.   I will say however that fried potates with no seasonings aren't as grand as one might think... LOL.  I really should buy a little salt and some garlic or a couple seasonings... but then again... maybe I just shouldn't fry anything!!!  That's bad for my health anyways!  

I am feeling a bit better today.  I was thinking about how overwhelming this process is really turning out to be.  And yet... I recall that recently I was stunned by the doctor's diagnosis of depression.  As I was thinking of the garden... if you are gone 1 week, it takes nearly 3 weeks to catch up with weeding... things just don't stop growing!    As I looked at the house and noted my past couple years worth of keeping house (little was done when I was dealing with my daughters illnesses, our hard sheep year, and my depression)... I realized I kept the family areas clean... as clean as say... there wasn't food stuck to the furniture, but dusting was done every couple of months rather than once a week... I had lots to catch up on... and if it worked out like the garden... even though I am getting my energy back, trying to keep up and catch up at the same time was still going to be a lengthy process.   Now I am offered help.  I was at first mortified that they are cleaning EVERY little piece of my home, but I am beginning to be grateful for this opportunity... I mean how often does one get a full cleaning and professional cleaning help when one does spring cleaning?   I simply have to humble myself and just admit that I need help to get back on my feet... and Wow, God already provided that help!  Even before I asked.  How great is that?  God is sooooo good to me sometimes that I know I hardly deserve any of this (I don't deserve any of it!), but oh how grateful I am to be His child!    

Warmly, ~Melissa

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July 3, 2008 - Small Fire Update: Adjuster news...

Yesterday morning the 2nd cleaning place was here and the adjuster stopped by as well.  The cleaning place said they would put their bid in, but we haven't heard what it is as of yet. 

The adjuster went on to say basically after looking things over, this is going to take some time.  It is going to be like we all are invading your entire life.  We however will help you through it and it will be over in a short time, but it will likely seem like an eternity going through it.  Having said that, he also says that we need patience.  NO CLEANING is to be done until the cleaners come... so much damage can be done by cleaning soot that is irrepairable.  I told him that DH had already started because he was embarrassed by the sight of all these cobwebs (which are soot webs, not cobwebs... we learned so much these past couple days!)  We notice a couple places where dh had the vacuum stick and hit the tile or something and it actually made skid marks that Dh then tried to get out and couldn't... he likely made it worse.  The insurance adjuster just raised his eyebrows, but understood since no one told us what to do... they try to get out the day of or the next morning, but our insurance companies fax wasn't working and once back online... they forgot to call over the weekend and they took a holiday off on Monday... so nothing was told to us until Tuesday.  We have been eating food in the cupboards they deemed unsafe and have basically told me to inventory and throw out.  We have been living in a house that they are making to sound unliveable until it is cleaned.  That has been changed to be you can live there, but you should really be careful what you touch, what you track back and forth and washing dishes before you eat.. .regardless of whether they look dirty or not.  I'm like Uh-huh... he knows we have a 3yo and that this goes beyond her comprehension. 

The adjuster also said this takes steps.  We can replace the stove and hood as soon as we want... that will totally be replaced so we can go ahead and go shopping and turn in the bill.   But otherwise, the cleaning needs to be done first.  After the cleaning is done, then they will assess the damage.  Then we will have to get bids, then approval for work to be done, then the last of the repair work should get completed.  The cleaning will take approximately one week... maybe a little longer.  They asked what we were willing to clean and we said the microcleaning, which he is happy for.  They will clean the big areas, the ceilings, walls, and floors... and the entire kitchen area (washing cupboards, dishes, etc.).  That leaves me to pack everything up in the house in boxes and get it out of the way so they can do that... I then will have to wash everything before putting it away again.  Steve will help, but he has a full day at work next week and I will likely be alone doing much of the cleaning and trying to entertain Paige in the process. 

I am beginning to see the reason of why this happened... and I smile and grimace all at the same time... In one big swoop my house will be cleaned and decluttered all at once.  Likely in two weeks... Everything will have been cleaned and sorted and replaced into it's home or taken away to the dump or given away as donations.  DONE!  For those who have been keeping up on my blog you know my decluttering journey is very slow.  I take it one box at a time... and slowly go through items.  I recall taking things to the basement last fall and this spring the prized items went upstairs to be sold online... which in all honesty... things are selling.  I am going to the post office 1-2 times a week to mail off items.  Anyways, I will no longer need to bore you on my decluttering process because... it will be done!  (if I stick to it and work with the process... which Dh says he will stick me to it!  LOL). 

You know... in my last fire post I was trying to figure this out and praying about it because it made no sense to me at all.  NONE... so I went to bed with a heavy heart.  But in the morning I awoke dreaming about something I only recall the meaning of now... and yet I know it was of giving things away... And I recall sleepily replying to this thought, but LORD, I thought you wanted us to sell it and then give to the poor... and to which I felt a deep need to read my proverbs chapter of the day.  I wake up more fully, opening my eyes and I sense the words... The Lord will supply all your needs... and then remembering my dream of giving things away... I then eagerly rushed for my Proverbs book (It is just the book of Proverbs in one little paperback that I use for my daily devotions)... and I read the following...

Proverbs 22:1  ¶A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold.

Yes, I know that Lord.

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July 1, 2008 - Fire Update: Cleaners came today to look around...

The cleaners came today to look around and WOW is all I can say.  They told me that I need to throw out any food in the kitchen that was in a box or in a jar... that the soot gets into the food and it is junk... he said if you want a head start ... start making a list of all the spices and foods in your cupboards here by the stove and in the cupboards in the kitchen.  UGH! 

They also took their special cleaning sponges and wiped in every room and found soot around the entire house.  They said this is worse than moving.  You have to take everything out and clean it and replace it back again.  Electronics... especially in the kitchen are likely junk and hopefully the insurance will cover.  Apparently the soot gets into the workings of the machines and will ultimately burn them out in a short time... that's my stove, my microwave (which I don't use alot, but DH does), two bread machines, my grain mill, my kitchen aid mixer and my bosch mixer, my fryer (which we were going to give up anyways), my smoothie maker, all that kind of stuff...   I'm wondering if the fridge qualifies as well. 

I seriously was thinking this is nuts... this was a small fire.  And you're telling me that cleaning up my house alone (just wiping things down) is going to cost between $5,000 and $10,000!!!  And replacing all this other stuff...   Not to mention the cupboard damage, the counter top damage and the hood vent damage.  The ceilings in the kitchen and dining room can be cleaned, but not completely... both cleaning companies suggested cleaning, then sealing, then painting over.... OR replacing completely.  I absolutely LOVED that tile!  It was unique with gold flecks in it... nothing on the market like it now.  GONE!  We'd rather see it replaced than painted however.  But what a mess that will make. 

I asked the guy after hearing all that they wanted done... every thing cleaned out of every box, every cloth item washed... every hard item wiped down (down to every single book ... everything (does he realize how many books we have????  I own a small library in my house!) .  I'm like... is this really reasonable for a small fire???  And he said... small fire big fire... it's still a fire and still smoke damage to the home.  He said realistically the  damage is the same except our structural support is still there.  He said it is like being pregnant... either you are or you aren't... there are no little pregnancies.   That made total sense to me and helped it sink in.  Cuz when I am sickest with my pregnancy is in the beginning.  (when I'm a little pregnant... ain't no one going to tell me I'm just a little pregnant!  LOL)

So, now I am befuddled over this.  I am trying to figure out what this little fire has caused in our life... a total upheaval!  My girls are leaving for summer camp on Sunday.  The one cleaning company said they can likely start on Monday after they leave.  That leaves me alone to work with them with Paige by my side and keeping her out of their hair as well.  If I clean, I can make between $8-10 an hour to decrease what we owe on our deductible...  great.  Perhaps we can work off our deductible considering the expected expenses...  But why this trial?  Why if we can make this work without too much added expense... what is the sense of this trial happening.  That is what I am pondering.  I am considering if it is God giving me an honest look at how much stuff we have and how if we didn't have this much stuff (which most of it is other peoples giftings to us)... how much easier it would be to clean...  Is it building character... Is it me taking an honest look at myself and my own abilities.  I just took on SS teacher at church and it starts this Week... now I have this mounting over me?  Wow is all I can say.  I'm sure God will show me what the true reason is in time. 

I'm still not mad with my daughter.  Her room actually the guy cleaning was going to be the worst of them to clean... they said 2 days alone in her room.  UGH!   And she will be gone at camp when they come to clean... so she will have little say on what stays or goes.  She is a bit worried. 

Well, tomorrow the adjuster comes and We will find out (hopefully) what the situation is with the appliances and damage to the cupboards and such.  The cleaners just eluded by past experience with other fires of what to expect. 

Until then,  ~Melissa

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July 1, 2008 - Healthy Bodies: Low-Fat Diet

At the health meetings I attended with Dr. Diehl, I learned alot about what fat in your diet will do to your overall health.  I'm a nurse and have taken nutrition and I've also had classes on treating heart disease and learned all about those fats... but I never really applied them to me... because I wasn't sick with heart disease.  (sad, I know). 

Anyways, one of the facts he gave us was that most men and women on the SAD diet (standard american diet) have at 40yo... at least a 40-50% closing of the arteries.  He mentioned some signs of closing arteries that one might experience.  A heavy sluggish feeling after a meal.  When out working, you just feel a bit more exhausted after a high fat meal.  The reason is simple your blood gets thick with the fat in your blood and it doesn't move as well. 

He said that the American Heart Association suggests a 30% fat in your diet (may actually be lower... I'm trying hard to remember, but it is quite high actually).  They are finding that this number really does nothing to reverse heart disease, and it can actually keep the disease progressing. 

But they have found that a diet between 15-20% fat will help to reverse heart disease... meaning eating less fat will actually help one to clear their arteries that have been closing in diameter over these years of eating a high fat diet.  Exciting news, eh?  He said that reversal of the disease happens in over 80% of those that eat a lower fat diet.  

I'm looking back over my family's health history and I know that my grandmother had a stroke, my grandfather a heart attack, another grandfather had a heart attack.  Steve's family has about the same history... SOOO... I'm thinking a lower fat diet is especially needed in our own lives to prevent heart disease.  

So, what does that mean, to eat a low fat diet?  How many grams of fat?  How does one measure it?  While it is somewhat complicated to figure out... mathematics and converting % of calories to fat calories to fat grams... well... for different people it also means different things.  There are several categories to which body sex and size and activity level can give us some estimates.  

I found in one of my cookbooks a chart of some sort for figuring out the most common levels.  The cookbook is More Choices for a Healthy Low-fat You, written by Cheryl Thomas Peters and James A. Peters, both are dieticians and He is a MD as well.  So, when I look at the charts... I feel comfortable with the suggestions.

What this means for me!  A 1200 calorie diet is the lowest amount recommended to maintain nutritional adequacy.  That calorie level is appropriate for weight loss.  I will tell you people... that isn't alot of food!  Especially if you are eating a lot of processed foods!  The fat level of this diet is 14%, which then equals about 27 grams of fat.  

It is not practical for me to count every calorie, nor is it practical for me to know how much fat is in everything... SOOO, what I am doing is keeping a food diary.  I am charting what calories and fats I can account for, but the rest... fruits and veggies... I am basically eating free will.  My challenge currently is to reduce fat in our daily diet and to eat a bit lighter than we are used to.  I think just watching these two items will help me to gain better health by losing weight and reducing fat deposits in my veins... which I'm sure I have knowing my past diet.   I also realize that as I add more activity back into my lifestyle, I may need additional calories.  So I am happy to keep my levels between the 1200 and 1500 caloried level.  If I can maintain that, I am sure that I will continue to lose weight.  The more 1200 days, the more quickly my weight loss will be.  *Ü*

I thought I'd share some of the other notes about different diets...

1500 calorie diet: 16% fat/35 grams  - recommended for weight loss for most men.  Appropriate for weight maintenance for sedentary women and some older adults.

1800 calorie diet: 20% fat/ 40 grams - recommended for weight loss for some men, especially active men.  It is also recommended for more active women for weight maintenance.

2200 calorie diet:  recommended for most children, teenage girls, active women, and sedentary men.  Women who are pregnant or nursing may need more calories.

2500 calorie diet:  Recommended for teenage boys, active men and some very active women.  

So if you are wondering how to figure that fat% in your diet.  Pick your fat percent you are aiming for ... between 15 and 20% of your diet is healthiest to maintain.  You can go lower... and some do quite well, but that is eating almost a pure diet with no added fat.  Pick the calorie diet that seems most appropriate for you.  Take the total calories and multiply by the percent of fat that you will allow in your diet.  Then take that amount and divide it by 9 (which is the amount of calories in one gram of fat).   Your total will now reflect how many grams of fat you can include in your diet.      Now when you read labels, you'll have to remember one simple thing.  The total fat is the number you are using and you must look at how much you are eating... if you are eating two servings worth, you need to double that fat amount listed in the label. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

As for me, I've been trying to eat lower fat, but today is my first food diary day.  I've ate breakfast and lunch and I've already consumed quite a bit.  It sure doesn't take long to get to 1200 calories!  As for the fat in my diet, that is getting easier.  I am well below half of my fat intake for the day, so I am pleased! 

Wishing you all good health!  Warmly, ~Melissa

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June 28, 2008 - A few flood pictures from our view...

I thought I would share a few pictures taken from our yard.  Most of them focus on the creek that runs through about a 1/2 - 3/4 mile from us.  This creek is normally not overly visible from our place.  The tall grass usually covers it and it is normally about 5-8 feet across and ankle to about 3 foot deep in the small pooling curves. 

As for the flood measurements... I am unsure of how deep it got.  I do know that it covered about 1/4 mile across at least.  A bit more in some areas.  This is one of the creeks that eventually leads to a river that runs to the town south of us.  The town that I mentioned had lost water because the flooding flooded the water treatment station and put out the generators.  At the end, I will post a link to our local newspaper and you can see pictures of the flooding in north Iowa.  My aunt sent me some pictures of flooding damage in her area as well (she is in eastern Iowa... broken roads from the dirt underneat being swept away)... Crazy... water can do such amazing things! 

This is our back pasture.  The ground was saturated like this for days.  The standing water in the field behind the fence belongs to our neighbor.  You can see water in another field near the top of the photo.

This is a small leak in the basement.  Just fun to catch the drip coming out of the wall.  It was less than a half inch deep around this and it ran towards the drain, so no real big mess. 

This was off our porch.  This is the day before we left on vacation. You can see the water up around our chicken barn.  The feed bin on it's side was like that... so it wasn't damaged.  Dh just hasn't gotten it set up yet. There is no creek in this photo... this is all field and yard that is filled with water. 

The road we live on is about half way down in the picture.  You can barely see the gravel road through the grass.  The water you can see rushing about 1/3rd the way down the picture is in a field.  This is a field that we actually used to cut hay in a couple years ago, until dh decided to start buying hay.  The fence in the bottom of the picture is our paddocks for the sheep.

This is the same position, just down a bit.  I tried to take them in succession.  This is just to the right of the above picture. 

Here the gravel road is about 2/3 down in the picture.  Cows graze where this flooding is normally.  The farm pictured is a mile away and they raise cattle. 

This was taken near our apple trees from our yard.  Poor picture, but a wider view to see how extensive the flooding was.

This one shows how wet and soggy our garden was for days and days.  Sometimes more water than this was in it.  I couldn't walk in it at all.  It was just sinking mud.  My garden looks nothing like this, now.  It is nearly all green with 6 inches of grass in it... looks like the pasture.  The rain sure helped the grass to grow and it is keeping me busy trying to find the plants of veggies.  Our land ends about half way down in the middle of the picture.

Hail pictures from the day before we left on vacation. Some as large as golf balls... this was about 20 minutes after the hail... so some melting had occured. 

I think this was in my flower garden.  UGH! 

This is paige collecting hail in a canning jar.  Yes she has a piece in her mouth!  She thought this was great and collected about 4 jars full of hail.  She loves ice! 

Hail brought the leaves down. 

Hail hit the rhubarb.  Only 3 bunches were ok, being sheltered from the hail.  I have about 5 bunches that look like this.  Now the holes are all crusted up and brown... looks pretty bad. 

I'm out of space.  I'll likely pare down some pictures in a few days.  But enjoy for a short time!  Look at the Globe Gazette site for more flood pictures of north iowa. 

Warmly, ~Melissa

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June 27, 2008 - Kitchen fire pictures on previous post...

If you want to see the pictures of the fire, check my recent messages and click on fire in the kitchen... I added pictures to the post. 

Warmly, Melissa

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June 27, 2008 - FIRE! in the Kitchen!

Oh My!  God was watching over us today!  My husband isn't so sure, LOL... he'd of rather had the entire house burn down!  *grin*

I was upstairs on the telephone ordering some SS supplies for church.  My daughter was making lunch.  She had put a pan of oil on the stove and had a question so came up to ask me.  She waited patiently for me to get off the phone... in the meantime, black smoke comes billowing upstairs and we are wondering what is happening. 

(here the cupboard you can see is a bit black.  We even wiped this... it doesn't come clean.  It melted the paint off the hood and the buttons of the hood are melted as well... the only melted items on my spice rack was a bottle of Vit. C tablets!)

We go downstairs (me still on the phone trying to politely finish up my order without saying... goodbye and hanging up).  The house is so dark with smoke you couldn't see across it downstairs.  Sparks were coming from below the pan.  My daughter shuts off the heat and we open windows to clear the air.  Once the air is cleared, we come back in to see what happened. 

Apparently, the pan of oil caught fire.  The front panel of the stove is melted... so that my push button controls no longer work.  My pan, my teapot, and some tupperware near the stove are melted and cracked.  A bottle of oil that was near the stove is melted and oddly shaped.  The stove hood is black and charred... the light cover melted out of it and on the top of the stove.  The cupboards are slightly burnt/charred (the one above the hood and the one to the right of the stove.  But BLACK soot is all over the entire house!  The tile in the kitchen and dining room is questionable as to whether that will clean up... we can't wipe it, it is a soft tile.    The tile in the kitchen appears discolored under the soot as well, as if the heat had discolored it as well. 

(hood light cover pieces) 

We wait for insurance adjusters and a cleaning service to tell us what will clean and what won't.  My daughter just feels sick about the situation, but is realizing how she will never do that again.  She is so sorry! ... she even learned in home ec what NOT to do, and yet she didn't realize how just slipping away for a short time would cause a fire so quickly.  Mom and Dad are just happy no one is hurt.  I have much cleaning to do, now... on top of my garden troubles, but we are all fine. 

(In this photo, you can see that dh took the ceiling duster and tried to swipe the ceiling... that became black instantly and the part that looks white from his sweep... isn't.  It is still fairly gray and sootish looking, despite what the picture is showing.  So the gray parts are actually pretty dark black in the house.)

I praised God that we were all safe.  I chuckled and said Chelsea... this is a sign from God that we aren't supposed to eat fried foods!  She couldn't help but laugh.  That was one of my diet changes we plan to make.  (less fried foods).   I also told her that it is uncommon for a grease fire to put itself out, usually it catches something else on fire and the house starts on fire.  I told her that I think God put it out.  After all, she was obeying by making lunch.  She came and waited patiently and respectfully while I was on the phone... ordering church supplies of all things.  She just forgot about what oil could do if left on the stove unattended.  God knew that.  Even though we have an entire mess of a house to clean up, and we lost our stove and the stove hood... and oven, I guess, too... none of the controls work.  God is good to keep us safe. 

( these containers both had oil in them.  Imagine had they caught fire as well... the tupperware mini pitcher is melted by the handle.  The canola oil container is smooth and extended from the heat... instead of molded like the rest of the bottle). 

Back to clean up...

(soot.  You can  tell where we wiped.  What you can't tell from most of the photos is even though we wiped, it is still gray on the panelling, not yellow toned like in the photos... because of the flash.  The swirly lines in the soot are from Dh vacuuming... the cobwebs were horrendous... really black and he had to clean them up before the adjuster came... I'm like... we've been gone on vacation for 2 weeks... who cares!  The soot is on much in the downstairs, the upstairs is less of a mess, so I am thankful for that.  For some reason the smoke congregated in the bathroom off the dining room... that room is about as bad as the kitchen.  And the smell... well, it isn't going away.  I'm sure it will take professional cleaning for that.) 

Warmly, ~Melissa

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June 26, 2008 - Healthy Bodies: Circadian Rhythm

In the book I am reading, Depression, The Way Out by Dr. Neil Nedley, he mentions that having a schedule that messes up our circadian rhythm, will often times be a factor in depression. 

I've known that this biological clock that runs our bodies works to regulate digestion, sleep and all sorts of things.  There are times it is best to eat, times it is best to rest, times it is best to exercise.  But knowing something doesn't always mean I follow it.  This is probably the BIGGEST problem I have currently.  I don't have a regular sleep time, regular meal times, or regular schedules.  In fact, I threw out my schedule years ago... when everyone said I was so rigid with my times... lighten up, they said.  So, I did. 

I would say one can survive with a messed up circadian rhythm, but your days are definately not optimal.  I snacked all day because my stomach didn't know when it was hungry.  When you schedule your meals, you actually get hungry at a meal time, not at ALL times!  I used to follow this strictly before since I would get hypoglycemic if I didn't eat my meals on time... somehow snacking all the time caused that sensation to go away and I also lost that ... need to get a meal ready before I get light headed sense... so our mealtimes got very irratic.  I actually liked not having to keep meals on time in a sense, because it gave me more freedom. 

BUT, I will admit that having done that... snacking leaves one bloated, my stomach feels tired often.  I feel sluggish.

My sleeping was off as well.  I didn't have a regular bedtime.  That started when I was pregnant.  Why?  I am unsure... that was 4 years ago.  I loved being in bed by 10pm, but now suddenly I saw what my husband saw... staying up late gave me some peace and quiet time.  No kids asking me to help them, no kids interrupting my thoughts... It was quiet and I could concentrate.  So, I thought.   It was quiet, but my concentration was not as good at night.  Playing a game on the computer or writing a note took more energy from me.  I found myself thinking... did I spell that right?  Hmmmm... that sounds funny but not coming up with a better way to rewrite the sentence. 

I also thought that since I got my sleep, I wasn't sleep deprived.  If I went to bed at 12 AM, I would get up at 8 am exhausted.  If I went to bed at 11 Am, I would get up at 8:30 AM, still exhausted...  I would try sleeping later... til 9 AM sometimes to see if it helped; it didn't help.  I know why!!!  I just didn't want to listen... I wanted to be on the same schedule as DH.  (We've never been on the same schedule).  I found that once I tried to play night owl, I got selfish with my spare time.  I did more "me" stuff, but it still didn't satisfy me.  Our bodies rest better before midnight , yet they still need rest after midnight.  When I was waiting until 12 am to go to bed, I skipped the best part of my sleep.  No matter how much I tried, I never felt like I caught back up. 

I have been trying to get up earlier, thinking this would help me go to bed later, but that isn't necessarily so.  I found when you are depressed... you actually feel more "normal" when you are exhausted.  So, a person will keep night owl hours simply because they crave feeling normal.  When they do get sleep... they wake up... depressed again.  This would explain to me the fact that I failed trying to move my rhythm back to normal by getting up earlier... it still didn't help me go to bed earlier... I was waiting to feel tired and instead of tired, I felt... content, relaxed/calm, and pretty alert with my thoughts (or so I thought)... basically I felt normal instead of this tired, ho-hum blah feeling I felt when I was supposedly rested. 

So, changing back my circadian rhythm is my first big issue to tackle.  It affects me in so many different ways... with our school days, with our chores, with our meals, with our sleep, just so much.  My little one at 3yo has never had a regular bedtime.  Bad Mommy, I know.  The first year or two of life was due mainly to allergies.  After that, I think my own schedule was messed up enough that I couldn't help anyone else stay on schedule. 

I am working at being in bed at 9:30 - 10pm.  If I don't feel tired, I take a hot bath at 9:30 pm.  A hot 20 minute bath helps one to calm down and begin to feel ready for bed.   I haven't always fallen asleep right away, but it is getting better.  At campmeeting, since June 13th, I have had to follow their meeting schedule.  This has MADE me keep meals on time, keep bedtime regular and within a week... the entire family was tired by 10 pm.  My little one wants in bed between 9:30 and 10 pm as well.  She is running closer to 9:30 pm currently.   This is so exciting for all of us... that she is actually tired and not fighting bedtime, but saying... I'm tired, the sun is gone, I want to go to bed!   Since June 13th, our meals are more regular.  And I actually FEEL hungry once again.  I wake up between 6 and 7 am and I feel refreshed.  I don't want to lay around in bed for another hour. 

I still need work.  I am finding as I came home that breakfast and lunch are drifting a bit, so I need to stay on top of that.  Much of that is because I have been so busy doing laundry or working in the garden or running to town for appointments that it has messed up our days a bit.  I realize that I will have to add scheduling back into our days at home if I want to stay on top of the mealtime situation.  Having regular items in the morning and afternoon will help me be aware of the time and keep me more accountable.

So, I am seeing progress... right away... what a blessing!  And yet, I still have work to get it back into a regular habit.  I know it can be done... I was a big time scheduler... I've done it before.  I have to change my attitude about my time again.  I was selfish with my time, thinking I deserved so much time on the computer or time of quiet in the night.  It just never made me happy.  I am, by simply changing my time clock, feeling that refreshing energy I used to have.   I will continue to work on my scheduling and my attitude about how my time should be used. 

Warmly, ~Melissa

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June 26, 2008 - Healthy Bodies...Part 1: Starting Over

This past month I've been shocked to find out that my doctor diagnosed me with depression.  On top of that, various things in my health have been going down hill for some time.  I've been reading the book, Depression:  The Way Out by Dr. Neil Nedley and am learning several things in there that I am appreciating as a nurse.  I also attended CHIP (Coronary Health Improvement Program) meetings this past week which in combination of my healthy lifestyle awareness just finally put it all together.  There is no big secret about being healthy.  These few simple things keep us healthy, but if we ignore parts of them, eventually we pay the price.  It isn't only about nutrition, or only about sleep, or only about exercise.  It is a combination of things that we do that keep us healthy. 

I guess I'm realizing that I have been caught up in the fast pace of society and I have gained some of that "I deserve it attitude".  I want that chocolate brownie (even though I'm not hungry).  I want a banana shake.  I want to check my email (instead of exercising).  I'll spend too much time browsing on the computer and ignore our nutritional needs and then depend on some quickies to keep us going.  (refined foods).  I stay up too late, get up too late.  My days are filled with me making excuses for the way we live and eat just because... well, we're doing better than so and so... or I just don't have time! 

I also found that my frugal side affects our health.  Fruit is not abundant up north at all times of the year and it can get expensive especially in winter and spring when nothing is growing up here.  I found that I limited my fruit buying because... it was too expensive.  Same thing with some vegetables.  No avocados... too expensive.  No tomatoes... too expensive... etc. 

Lastly I found I fell into the trap that you don't fix it unless it's broken.  Usually by then all kinds of things are broken!  Pills and certain remedies may help, but they don't fix the cause.  I don't want minor relief, I don't want to take pills to stay healthy (besides pills often have lots of side effects so then you take more pills!).  I just want to be healthy, all around healthy... not just heart healthy or thyroid healthy or bone health... I want all of it, as much as I am able to gain through a healthy lifestyle.

So, I am starting over.  I am going to make note of some different areas of my life and start working on a few things at a time.  When they feel normal, I will add a couple more.  I am not listing all the items I intend to work on... I have not even made a list.  My goal is better health... that means better choices.  If I can make one better choice today than yesterday... I will be happy.  I don't want to be overzealous and then pop my balloon when I fail to hit the mark each day. 

Areas that I am working on (are vague, but small details will be worked on as I go).  Nutrition, Exercise, Water, Sunshine, Temperance, Fresh Air, Rest, Trust in God.  (NEWSTART).   I recall another acronym... ABC that can be added that will improve quality of life as well.  A - attitude,  B - Benevolence, and C - (which I cannot recall!  LOL). 

Now, today, I am starting over.  (actually I started a few days ago).  But today I measured and am taking account to how I feel and my lifestyle as it is. 

I don't sleep regular times.  I go to bed late, sometimes too late.  I wake up late... around 8-8:30 am. 

I am forgetful and lose my train of thought quite often.  I (lost it again)... LOL.  My concentration (found it) is poor.   

Our meals are sporadic.  We get 3 meals in each day, but it has not been uncommon to be eating at 8:30 PM!!!   We also snack quite a bit because our meal times are so erratic. 

Because I have been so busy or unbusy... both seem to apply.  Meals are sometimes, but not always... consisting of refined foods.  It wasn't always this way, but I have fell back onto buying frozen meals and prepared items... even if they are the healthier ones, I still am buying items preseasoned and prepared, in order to save time around meal preparation.  I fall back on some boxed cereals, boxed potatoes, prepared beans, pasta dishes, etc.  Even Hamburger helper!  (I vowed when I was 20yo never to let HH into the house...guess I forgot when I got to be 37yo!).  In honesty, I didn't forget, I just didn't care anymore... somethings felt like they took too much effort to plan out, to prepare... so I didn't.  We began eating alot more meat than we had in the past.  In our early marriage I cooked meat maybe 1-2 times a week.  It has been on the table up to 20 times a week as of lately (almost at every meal). 

I don't exercise.  About 3 years ago... I just quit.  That was when baby was born and she was so sick and colicky... I just was so tired that I just quit.  Oh, I walk occasionally, like to the mail box once every so often (when the kids don't get the mail... it's a half mile walk to the box and back).  Or I might walk while on vacation.  My body does move... I just tend not to move it. 

I stay inside alot.  I sit and plan school, cook meals, wash up baby, correct school work, record schoolwork, check email, surf the web a bit, do laundry and other household chores... and I still rarely have time to go outside! 

I don't like to socialize much anymore.  Cuz I've gained weight?  Cuz I just want to go home?  I'm not sure.  I like to be alone alot for some reason.  That isn't normally me.   

I cook elegant meals and desserts because we deserve it!  LOL.  Doesn't everyone like good food?  I do, but to the extent that it often bumps out the simple foods that are often more nutritious.  Or items are over cooked, over baked and they've lost their nutrients. 

My time management is horrid... even with help of MOTH or other planner programs.  I just can't keep my act together. 

Health:  OK... nothing majorly wrong.  I feel tired and cold alot.  I am irritable... way more than when I was younger.  I have strong PMS urges to yell and scream.  My hands get sore when working with them too long.  I have aches in my back, hips, knees and mostly my feet.  My muscles seem tender on many days upon wakening.  My s** drive is GONE.   I get short of breath when doing heavy housework or farm work... to the point that sometimes I cough to stop the palpitations in my chest... and yes my doctor knows this.  Mild to moderate housework and exercise don't bother me... but stacking bales of hay in the barn as they come off the bale elevator... that will get me going.. .especially with the dust in the air.  I occasionally get those dancing legs.... and can't sleep.  I've been gaining weight the past year... 15 pounds!... putting me at 30-35 pounds overweight... over my ideal weight... which then qualifies me for being in the obese category because I am over 20% over my ideal weight.  I've hit the number 12 on my clothes, which for me being quite petite and small... isnt' healthy. 

Measurements: 

Upper Chest:  34,  Breast: 36,  Waist:  36.5,  Hips:  42,  Upper thigh: 24.25, Lower thigh:  17.5, and Calves:  15 inches, Upper Arm 12-7/8ths.    Weight:  150 pounds.  (actually 149 at the doctor, but the way I was gaining weight, I didn't think it hurt to add one more).   Those of you that know me don't have to really focus on these details (LOL), but hopefully I can work on some changes and see some improvements.   Let me know if you are on the path to better health.  I'd love to encourage you as well! 

Warmly, ~Melissa

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June 25, 2008 - I am back.../campmeeting

I just thought I'd mention quickly that I have gotten back from our vacation.  Campmeeting was wonderful.  I spent my mornings with my little one in cradle roll.  My afternoons were spent at two classes by Hans Diehl on health while Dh watched Paige.  And the evenings we three spent at the evening meetings.  The older girls had their own classes that they attended.  All enjoyed campmeeting. 

Megan was in earliteen and most of her meetings were on health.  She LOVED it... I thought it was quite interesting that she enjoyed it so much.  I think their theme was Shine for Jesus.  Some parts were on witnessing, but most on how to give your life to Jesus and how to shine for Jesus.  She learned what cigarettes do to your lungs.  She learned about dandelions and some on food choices.  She loved her teachers and enjoyed the singing and all the activities.  The activities were changed a bit from past years, but that didn't bother the kids much.  Megan didn't miss the ball game, she never wanted to go anyways.  And while they still went to V. Fair, Megan opted not to go.  She gets sick on long car rides and was hesitant to once again climb into a bus full of stinky kids.  *grin* 

Chelsea was in Youth and enjoyed her classes.  She said they were very real.  Not way out there as past meetings have been.  They talked in the mornings in small groups and had specific discussions on dating and friendships and witnessing and things like that.  She said they had good discussions and everyone in her group really was honest and the leaders were well appreciated.  She said she even commented on a few things and her thoughts about waiting for the right one... giving your husband something special... not your boyfriend.  And the Pastor appreciated that she was able to voice it without being vulgar, but with being able to make it sound like a "special" way to keep your relationships clean.  The pastors had good thoughts on getting the kids to think when it came to relationships and dating.  We're kinda ... well really close to courtship... I don't like to get in a box and say this is what we are about because simply we aren't so strict to follow all the "rules" some have put on courtship.  We basically follow the courtship principles in dating and really work with the girls to know who they are dating before they are dating.  So far, just my 18yo has been "dating", my other girls are not even ready... my 16yo even said... I am waiting longer... I mean if I found a boyfriend at 16yo... what is that nearly 4 years to wait until marriage... that's WAY TOO LONG (too much temptation).  Amazing.  On the Mom side it has been so neat to talk with my girls and prepare their hearts for relationships... hearing their concerns and their honest thoughts... At times I wondered if I bordered on insanity because of how I was leading them (so different than I was raised), but after their upset outbursts (my friends are dating... there's nothing wrong with dating, I'm GONNA date, etc.), they calm down and rationally think it through and come to the same conclusion and often are more convicted on the thoughts of courtship and I see them sharing them with their friends... they've seen close friends make poor dating choices and they all are seeing how following a pre-thought out course is much better than just jumping in and winging it.  ANYWAYS, the pastors gave each of the kids a fake pearl to represent how they are a pearl of God's.  You've only got one pearl to give away... wouldn't it be neat to give this to your husband and say... it's all yours!  Chelsea thought it was neat.  The pearl sits in a little box on her dresser, now.  Maybe I will consider getting her a nicer pearl... than a plastic one with a bead hole in it!  LOL.  But overall, she enjoyed it.  They did prayer walking this year... on campus and out in town.  She really enjoyed that.  I was so shocked, she is the loud one, but usually more shy when it comes to praying or doing anything in public and she did it.  These Pastors really worked with the kids and helped them learn how to reach out to others and gave them practical things to try and mentored them along the way... terrific.  her class also didn't go to the ball game... Chelsea didn't mind... she only went to be with her friends... she never enjoyed the games.  She did go to v. fair... that was about the only outside activity other than one day of swimming that was off campus and she thought it would be boring that way, but she loved it... really enjoyed her week.  Still is talking about her Pastor's thoughts and now applying them to how they will work for her.  God was there this year! 

My classes with Hans Diehl went over the CHIP program... Coronary Health Improvement program.  I attended some of his the year before, but this year tried to hit everyone, but I did miss one.  Somehow I got out of the aspect that it was meant to improve heart health and just saw the overall picture of improving one's health overall.  As a nurse I had always divided health into categories and even though I thought I understood preventive medicine, I don't think I totally grasped how to relate that to others.  And yet maybe it is because I've had issues with my overall health as of lately that I'm trying to figure out what is wrong and how to fix it and that ISN'T the issue!  DUH!  I shouldn't only choose one thing to get better... but rather make choices to be healthier regardless of what is wrong with me.  I was treating good health like a pill.  Only do part of it as long as I can stay healthy enough and enjoy the rest of my offences until they show up in health disorders down the road.  God created us and gave us the perfect diet... fruits vegetables and grains to keep us healthy.  When meat and dairy were introduced our life expectancy dropped dramatically.  Health problems became an issue and continue to this day.  Good health means good heart health, good lung health, good muscle health, good mental health, etc.  It means I make healthy choices because God told me this was what my body needed.  God didn't create cheetos for a reason... they aren't good for our bodies.  Why do we insist on tantalizing our tastes and feel cheated if we eat the way God created us to eat?  Somehow that sunk in to me and for the first time, going vegan (no meat or dairy or eggs) doesn't sound scary or way out there or even fanatical... it sounds reasonable. (Sounds funny coming from a small farm that raises their own lamb and chickens, eh?)  I understand I will have major challenges in our home as we adapt to eating better, but overall my entire family is receptive of making better food choices... We will take it in steps and our first step is to increase fruits and vegetables and whole grains.  I make whole grain bread, but our french bread and rolls and such have been with white flour... and they are all willing to experiment with recipes to find a whole grain alternative to these items.   Willing by having an open mind about it... before when I've tried, they baulked right from the start.  Give up our white flour cinnamon rolls???  I like what Dr. Diehl said that you are working towards the optimal diet.  The diet that your body runs the best on.  Changes made fast or small, but changes made to eating better.  I saw that not only that, but we also need to have the optimal lifestyle (which he didn't touch on, but due to alot of reading I've been doing lately... I've applied it to the total picture... good food, good lifestyle habits means a healthy person).  I don't want to fix problems one by one as they show up by taking pills and being dependent on surgeries or other fixes that the doctors decide I need to accept and treat my condition... but ultimately never cure it.  What I found out is that health is reversible.  Meaning I can obtain better health and be healthier at 50yo than I am at 39yo by making some better choices and by doing that, I can reverse damage on my heart, my mental health (depression), my physical condition... Wow!  Feel younger, less pain, less foggy brain, less whatevers...  I learned that it isn't about doing it on my own power, but by God empowering me to be more than I am right now.  And why?  Because it will bring Him glory.  If I am healthier, I can do His work much better.  I can reach out, I won't be tired.  I can  also keep my family healthier and raise my kids up with tools that will help their families as well.  Not to my glory, but God alone.   I will share some of the items I am looking at for obtaining better health in another post.  I hope share my journey with you all.  From start to finish in accomplishing better health.  Can you tell I am psyched to get started?  (My family isn't as Xcited as I am, but they are anxious for me to get to feeling better and if it means doing it together... they are OK with it.) 

On arriving home... I found lots for me to do.  I have been busy since arriving back last Sunday.  I still am not caught up.  But overall, I think we will be fine.  The flooding didn't hit us exactly, but it did cause some sifting of the soil and my entire garden has a hard crust on it... not too healthy for growing veggies and fruits.  The hail also did more damage to it than I first thought... we likely lost 50-75% of the plants.   I will likely be busy adding compost to soften things up again.  I am also replanting.  I will give a garden update in another post.  Just wanted to touch.  Several of you have asked how we were doing... and we are doing well.  The town to the south of us has water once again and is functioning again.  I saw yesterday (while going to a dentist appointment) the park hauling away truckload after truckload of dirt.  The city park was completely flooded and it looks more like a sand quarry than a park.  Very dirty, ruined the grass and flowers... and like I said, just piles and piles of mud and dirt and sand.  I see road repairs have been mostly completed while we were away.  Ruts in the roads are filled in and again usable.  Still a few roads closed, but overall, life has returned to normal for most in our area... short of the neighborhoods that were underwater... their homes show piles and piles of garbage out on the front lawns.  My sister got a foot of water in her basement (not as bad as some, but still not good) and it ruined her furniture in the basement (it was a finished basement... the sewer actually backed up in her house, it sounds like).  I will be making a visit out to her in the coming week.  Things are stable as far as her damage goes, clean up is done... she's just got to now replace the lost items.   

Well, thanks for the thoughts and prayers.  I appreciated them.  God is good.  Short of a problem garden, we are doing fine.  

Warmly, ~Melissa

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