Down Mulberry Lane

Color Me Beautiful...

I picked up a book at the local second hand shop for 10 cents called Color Me Beautiful.  I had heard of this program before.  My mother had her colors done years ago when I was young.  She at the time tried to share it with us kids, but us being teenagers had thought she lost her mind.  After all we were just finding ourselves and now she wanted to tell us which colors of clothes to wear?  What was she thinking?  LOL

Anyways, my mother is a beautiful Autumn lady in her colorings.  When she puts certain colors on she just shines.  It really amazed me when I started to look at it.  I picked up my book and read bits of it occasionally.  After having for a couple months and not really getting into it, because I just couldn't see what I was... I was stuck between two color seasons, I did nothing. 

A gal at church decided to have a fun night with the girls who work for her (she owns a health food store) and she decided to do everyone's colors.  She had a gal come and show them how to figure it out.  She was elated and two ladies participated at church.  SINCE, they found out their colors, they have slowly been changing their wardrobe and my what a change.  The clothing styles were still the same, but they didn't look as frumpy.  THAT got my attention. 

I enjoy dressing modestly, but somehow I always looked frumpy.  Dh likes reds and olive greens and dark, dark colors and was always suggesting I buy black, red, and other really bold colors.  He, to his credit, did notice however that when I wore light blue my eyes just twinkled and he started suggesting that I wear lt blue.   I looked at my closet and saw lots of reds, sages, olive greens, browns, blacks (autumn and winter colors) and no matter what I wore, I looked frumpy.  It just drained me!  I looked old, and friends at church commented at how maternal I looked, or that I needed an update... I should color my hair (which I did and I'm not happy about, now), I should get a hair cut (no one liked it shorter any better), and on and on the comments came.  No one said I looked nice, but all the comments were directed to trying to "help" me look better.  I looked in the mirror and started to see what they saw.  I looked frumpy.  Sure a few pounds lost might help, but why did I look so drained and haggard?  All the well meaning comments... I mean really how often does one feel the need to tell someone to cut their hair or color it or change their look, etc.?  It's not an easy thing to do, yet people continually did it to me.  I even was asked not to talk to some new visitors at church from the Pastor's wife one time because she didn't want them to think that "what I looked like" was what the church was like.  I was shocked, dismayed and hurt.  I dressed modestly but what was wrong... why did I still portray a look that was not good? 

I pulled out my Color Me Beautiful  book again and for two days decided to figure out what this meant.  I read the book cover to cover and then applied the details.  Maybe there was something that my two friends had found... they still dressed modestly, but didn't look so frumpy.   I determined that I was either a summer or spring... based on the light blue working for me.  Then it was time to narrow it down.  I'm still not sure I figured it out, but about 75% of the clues leaned towards being a summer and 25% leaned towards being a spring.  I told Dh I was going for the summer and I would really appreciate his suggestions as I tried new colors on. 

Now, you must understand that my DH hates shopping for clothes with me.  He just gets so frustrated.  But, I give him credit, he has been so willing to comment when I buy a t-shirt before I wash it, so that I can return it if necessary.  He is happy that I am taking charge of my look. 

Now, I am all for modesty and I get the thinking of not letting clothing be a vain thread in our lives, but I also determined that my look was frumpy and that was a hindering spot for me reaching out to others.  No one wanted to be like me because well, I looked frumpy.  (You know, quite honestly I'm not sure how I got to frumpy, but I did get there... perhaps it was always buying the cheap clothes on clearance whether it looked good on me or not... it fit).  I thought it was my style of clothes that made me frumpy and I was trying to figure out how to not be frumpy but still be modest.  Other people do it, but how?  Some items don't look good on me and yet they look very nice and modest on others... I am so sure that God did not intend that His people all look frumpy... or that only 25% look nice because the chosen style of dress looks good on some and not on others.  I look at denim jumpers and I love the slim look that some have, but I was born with a back side (even when skinny) that will not ever tolerate a straight line jumper.  The options were just overwhelming and I had no direction other than listening to others to be modest and their opinions on how to accomplish that.  Quite honestly, my husband hated all the talk because he thought I looked frumpy. 

*I determined that I needed a change.  I needed to look like I cared about how I looked.  Can you be modest and care for how you look?  (YES!) 

*I needed to look approachable, not like a person you would scorn because of their clothing.  (Little story here... I have a gray dress that looks horrid on me.  I know it and I refuse to wear it to town, yet I wore it at home for DH!  LOL.  Poor guy.  He appreciated that I never wore it out to town, but stated the item was ghastly!  He understood that it was comfortable so never put much fuss in it since I didn't wear it out, but he secretly worried that someone might drive up and I'd actually be seen by someone while wearing that dress.  He told me this after I started slowly changing the colors in my wardrobe.  )

*I needed, in my heart, to dress modestly. 

There were my three goals in putting together some modest clothing.  Dh gave me free will to buy what I needed, but I just got sick looking at stores where pants cost $50 and dresses cost $85 or more.  Skirts were high as well.  I spent 2 weeks really searching yet never buying a thing.  I couldn't make myself buy those expensive clothes.  I realized that buying such spendy clothing was not part of our budget, our means, nor our values, so I quit searching in the high priced stores.  I found some mediocre in pricing and went to the clearance racks... I felt so much more comfortable. I think God was leading my heart somewhere over the clothing issue.   I didn't need to shop pricey stores just to wear my colors and look nice! 

I got to praying over it and I went shopping with my daughters.  I found a store who's clothing was priced about right and I found something in my colors that was modest.  The skirt goes clear to my ankles.  The top is a 3/4 sleeve knit top which is very modest, not to shapely, but still looks nice.  I purchased it and brought it home.  I showed Dh and he said the colors were nice.  He wasn't sure of the style since on the hanger it looked just like my other clothes.  However, I wore it to church this week, and I noticed a difference.  People actually looked at me in a different way.  One gal saw me and we smiled and hugged and then she looked at me then looked and her own clothes and smoothed her skirt down to her knees.  She didn't say anything, she didn't have to... I knew what was going through her mind.  And I understood that I now looked nice enough to cause others to double check their own appearance.  I didn't look flashy... I don't wear clothes with that style.  The clothes weren't elaborate... I like simple clothes.  But the skirt and top together matched and looked nice together.  I still have 30 pounds to lose, so I know it wasn't my figure that caused that reaction.  My dress was fitted loosely enough to not allow me to look lumpy. 

What I noticed was that the clothing I have worn has always been modest.  But it has not looked well on me because of the color.  It caused me to look drained and frumpy.  I was looking through old pictures last night and I saw an old me that was trying so hard to be modest but with all the wrong colors and styles.  I bought things because others suggested it.  I bought colors because others suggested it.  But it wasn't working.  Once I found what colors to look for, I could wear those same modest styles that fit well on me and what a change! 

Even at home, I like to wear denim skirts and just changing the color of t-shirt has been enough to cause Dh to comment, "That color looks nice," or "Your eyes sparkle today."   That was an easy one to change.  I needed new t-shirts anyways, the old ones were stained and for $5 ea. at Walmart, I got some in my color season and it is the SAME style that I have worn for years, but the color is right.  

I feel better.  Dh appears to like the new colors, even though I am still wearing the same styles of clothing... yet now he leaves nice comments.  At church I just noticed a difference.  We are a modest family and some others are modest as well (especially the olders), but many my age and younger just felt that they were modest enough and wore the latest fashions.   They looked at me and smiled in pity that they knew how to dress and I didn't.  I saw that change last week.  I looked modest and I looked nice and those that prided themselves over their faddish styles were the ones double checking their outfits.  Oh what a difference.  I don't have to shout... dress modestly!  I don't have the preach.  I don't have to wear the latest trends... searching high and low for something modest, just to fit in.  And, I learned, I don't have to look frumpy just for modesty's sake.  I can wear clothes that feel comfortable and are modest and still look nice.  (I hope you all understand that I mean nice as in nice, not in making a statement, gaga eyes... nice).  

I will continue to use this color knowledge to help me make better choices.  At one time I attended a Mom's night out for homeschooling moms and one Mother spoke on getting your colors done and how worth it it really is.  Your clothes can mix and match so much more easily.  (So if a top gets stained, you often have one that will still look nice with the skirt).   She said it made shopping so much easier.  You can eliminate clothes by color automatically, and it reduces your thumbing around, looking for something time.  She said it was cheaper in the long run.  Your coats will match your clothing and you just will look put together without much effort at all.   I didn't buy it when I first heard her.  I thought it sounded nice, but thought it still a bit prideful.  Yet, sticking to my own ways and trying to be modest and frugal...eventually finding I continually looked frumpy... I began to realize that perhaps God wanted to use me to reach others, but my look was beginning to be a wall between me and others.  I'm not saying we have to dress punk to get the attention of punks, but I am likely going to get their attention by looking nice and modest than by looking frumpy and lumpy modest!   I hope the distinction I am trying to make is coming out.  I am not pointing out flaws in anyone else, only sharing a personal experience and that I am finally finding victory in how I look at clothing.  God wants us to look our best.  He wants us to care for our bodies and care about our presentation to others.  Being modest doesn't mean frumpy. Having my colors figured out was my way out of looking frumpy.  

Just sharing in case someone else struggles over the guilt of choosing correct colors so that we look happy and fresh, rather than down and dumpy.  When I think of Lydia of Purple from the Bible, I think of a woman that looked very nice in her purple clothing.  I don't think of her as haughty or prideful, but rather I think she had a simple elegance to her that shone when the color purple was put into her clothing. 

Warmly, ~Melissa

Untitled Comment

2:44 PM, September 21, 2008 .. Posted by safords

Ooooh! I am liking your blog's new look! Keep at it! :-) YOu are doing a great job. Hmmm... might have to give mine an updated look soon. Maybe an African theme before we leave in a 3 weeks.

I am going to read your blog entry about color soon. I looked at the length of it before I knew who wrote it and decided it must be you. The lady of many words. :-) Have to get some things on my Africa list done before I can sit and read in luxury, though.
Angela

Colors

9:12 PM, September 21, 2008 .. Posted by safords

I've been guilty of looking frumpy! I hate it, but sometimes I haven't a clue what to do about it. I like the slim looking outfits, too, but they aren't comfortable... Sometimes I am not sure if I really know my colors or not. I can wear red - lots of reds and blacks. But I can wear spring pinks and dark pinks, too. It's so confusing. Sometimes I wear the same outfit forever because I know it looks good and I don't have anything else. I have a long black skirt that is easy to wear and I wear a black T or Tank with a 3/4 sleeve red blouse unbuttoned for church and for town and for everything just because I know it suits me... and it hides my belly :-) I've looked and looked every time I went to town for another similar blouse and haven't been able to find one in a color that suits me. Sometimes I despair of ever finding anything I like. They make everything in a style suited for the 100 pound, 18 year old!!!! AND I am not! I go to the Goodwill and come out with tons of these Nordstrom brand outfits for my daughter and nothing for me... Good luck on your journey to a better wardrobe. Maybe I'll work on mine when I get back from Africa.

That's fun that you saw us on TV. We had a great time with the Amazing Adventures. 7 kids asked for baptism. I think we've been chatting online for about 10 years now? Maybe more.

Oh, and I see you introduced yourself to my sister, Julie. Are you sure you saw a resemblence? We don't usually think we look alike.:-)
Angela

Edited by safords on September 21, 2008 at 9:14 PM

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11:09 PM, September 21, 2008 .. Posted by gabbie427

Thanks so much for sharing. I have had my colors done a long time ago (warm colors, autumn, spicy colors look good on me, but so do brigh pinks and blues) but I have really gotten out of the habit of looking for clothes in my color range. I need to get back at it now that I decluttered my closet (too many things!), and took them to the Thrift Shop.

Thanks for posting this. It sounds like the color change in your wardrobe has helped your self esteem alot and made you feel better about yourself, and that is just priceless!!

God's Blessings,
Amy Jo

Under the bright lights color draping

1:34 AM, September 22, 2008 .. Posted by elliepea

Years ago I had a couple of 'Color Me Beautiful' cosmetic parties. It was very interesting. The presenter only allowed for me to invite four people to each party. So when I invited people I looked them over to try to get one from each season. Then when they were draped we decided what they REALLY were. It was a lot of fun. One girl I invited always wore heavy black eyeliner and black dresses and bright red lipstick. I thought she must be winter - she turned out to be a spring! The girl who I thought was spring turned out to be winter!
I am a late summer, almost a winter. I have dark olive undertones in my skin like a winter, but am blond and light so I am actually a summer that can wear a few of winter''s colors. My best colors are a muted taupy pink and a light grayish military blue.
If you think you are a spring, you can wear a bright orangey red, while if you are a summer, you almost never can wear red. The closest you would come would be a magenta pink. Only a winter can wear true red. Autumns' red is darker with a hint of orange.
Have fun discovering the 'real you!' One thing to look for is to wear what you have questions about in bright light, like sunlight, and look at the shadows it leaves on your chin and neck. The kind of colors in your skin should go with the colors that are shining from your clothing. I'll bet that when you wore black before it made dark circles around your eyes, sunken looking cheeks and gray under your chin and on your neck. You probably looked like you had already died! Ha! Only a winter looks good in black, by the way.
Have fun!
Margie

Hmmm....

11:06 AM, September 22, 2008 .. Posted by Jonash2004

Okay, you've hooked me!

Now I'm wondering what 'my' colors are! I have some clues . . . the first compliement I've gotten in ages was that "Navy was one of my colors" just recently(!) and in the past I've also been told -multiple times- that I look good in red.

The reds that I usually get compliments on are deep, rich ones, although some bright ones.

I think I'm an 'Autumn' from browing the Color Me Beautiful site!

I have known for a while now that I'm missing some ... vital key and I think this is IT. My throw-back shirt is black and from reading about Autumn (if I am one) it will make me look washed out. Yay. Just what I need as a young mom, to look like death warmed over!

Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this!!!!

Ashley

how fun!

11:13 AM, September 22, 2008 .. Posted by blessedmomof10

Melissa ~~

Love the new blog look!! :) Good job!!

I also wanted to add about colors.... so true!! I learned about colors years back and you are so right, some color will make us look grey and faded..........

I am a winter and my colors are royal blues, purples, reds, blacks, magenta...... I try to stick to those colors, but often around the house I love denims -- because on a farm.....well you know how dirty one gets with farm chores.....

But this year I went thru a huge "make over"..... lost about 35 lbs...... not skinny yet, but some needed "baby fat" is gone .. PTL!! I also colored my hair..... I had held on long enough and my husband did not want me to color, but I was so tired of the grey...... so I colored it my natural color and it took 10 yrs off my age!!! :) I also cut off about 5 inches from my locks..... did wonders too!

I feel 100% better!

Sometimes we just need a little change so I do understand and like you others really took notice. :)

Blessings & have fun~~
gloria

ps. I noticed at church that I was dressing a little up for church.... nice dresses and skirts..... and I have noticed the other women coming a little more dressy where before they were coming in shorts and tshirts...it's nice to see the ladies coming pretty and looking spiffy. :)

Just an idea

8:03 PM, September 22, 2008 .. Posted by safords

Have you ever shopped at Christopher and Banks? If you are tall it won't work for you, but they have some of the nicest durable, modest clothing around. Their colors change every few weeks so they always have tons on the clearance racks. Sometimes everthing is my color and sometimes nothing is my color, but I love my mid-calf twill skirts in all difference colors. They've been around long enough in our town that half of what I get at Goodwill comes from Christopher and Banks. They haven't had a very good website until now. BUT I really encourage you to find a store...if not in your town next time you travel. http://www.christopherandbanks.com/home/index.jsp

Blessings,
Angela