Down Mulberry Lane

A Full House...a trying day...

A full house is a busy house!  My house is full again and I am finding that keeping everyone back on track is a job that needs to be done again! Not that I am complaining.  It is so nice to have a home filled with commotion again. 

Yesterday, I went to the doctor for my wrist.  I had fallen about 2 months ago and I am still having pain in the area.  My range of motion is decreased from the other wrist, but better than it was when I made the appointment a month ago!  So, the doctor called it a sprained wrist and said that if in two more months I still have pain and decreased range of motion to let her know and she will refer me to an orthopedic doctor. 

I went to the bank and had to argue a charge.  Someone had bounced a check on us and they took the money out of our account in June.  Then I got a notice they again took the money out in August for the same check.  It was bad enough we had to deal with the bounced check, but to again have it bounce on us... It was like giving our sheep away and giving the bank some money to have just cuz we like them.  Anyways, our bank tracked down the error.  They said it was the fault of the other bank.  Which may be true, but my bank took money out of my account twice for ONE single deposit... that was their error, but I wasn't supposed to catch that... they were happy to get it all corrected and let me know it was the other bank's fault.  :p   When I return the slips, they will refund the money.  Another trip to town ... I should ask for $5 in gas as well.  I won't.... I'm not that bold!  LOL 

After I got home, Dh wanted to work on the kitchen.  He took the upper cupboards off the walls and I painted while he ran to town to pick up the countertop.  We then wallpapered and found out we had two different run numbers so the second roll we grabbed was more yellowey... so we had to pull that down and start over.  Nothing like throwing $20 away just cuz I forgot to check run numbers!  Once done, then we had to put the cupboards up and the trim boards.  The trim boards got put up in the wrong order and in the shoving to get them in... scuffed the paint.  So, I will have to spot paint and hope it blends well.... (It's hard to blend a two color paint job... you think it wouldn't be noticable, but it is often more noticable).  Then we put the cupboards back up and scuffed the wall paper real good, we took it back down, rewallpapered that strip and then put the cupboard up again and it barely tore when it got cinched up against the wall.  Dh was about fit to be tied.  Nothing was going right.  Then we set the countertop on top of the current countertop to check the overhang... it was going to be different, but livable... however when we put the one countertop up, we found that Dh had ordered it 3 inches too short.  It actually had a 3 inch overhang and he gave the measurement needed to cover the cabinet assuming the 3 inch overhang was in addition to that, but it wasn't... so, now he is trying to figure out how to redo the bottom cupboard and shorten it by 3 inches.  It ultimately means tearing it completely apart to remove the boards that this one is screwed to on the floor and in tearing anything apart... it is likely to crack a board or two, so he is not happy at all.  If he can remove it and not crack any wood, we will be okay, I just have a shorter counter/cupboard area by 3 inches.  I can deal with that.  BUT if it cracks, then it ends up costing more to replace the bottom cupboard than it would have if we would have just reordered the countertop in the right length.  Steve was having a real hard day, because everything that ultimately went wrong was his fault, or he felt it that way.  I mean the wallpaper was definately my fault (having different run numbers).  But all the scuffs of the paint and the torn wallpaper and then the countertop and then he bent the filter of the hood... he set the new stove fan above and was going to put it up without help and set it on his head and now the filter is the shape of his head!  LOL.  Add to that the scratched handle on the fridge that we just got that he scratched coming in the door he was just adding this to his list of "i'm no good".   He felt so bad and was getting so upset... more by the minute.  As I was redoing the wallpaper (alone, as he was about ready to strangle something... he had actually stabbed a screwdriver into the old countertop (which we are still using), he says to me... that black sink is on sale this week, I could go pick it up and you'd have a real nice sink.  And I realized how crushed he was. 

He wanted the kitchen to look nice for me, but every thing he is trying to do is somehow getting messed up.  I can't begin to tell you all the little things, but you've heard some of the bigger things, but a couple other trials to this kitchen is that he stained new wood and polyeurothaned it only to find out that he used glossy finish with the original and the new is satin and it definately shows... BIG difference in how the lighting hits it and the color looks darker because of the different finish.  Since he redid a couple of the burnt doors, you can really see a difference when it is set on the glossy base of the cupboards.  (So, we will have to refinish ALL the Cupboards now).   Also, the wood has variations and in one cupboard that was to be a gift to me... 3 sets of doors are one color, the last set looks about 2-3 shades darker.  It is the same wood, but wow... it stained alot darker.  So it looks a bit out of place.  Daytime lighting doesn't show it horribly, but come afternoon/evening it looks rather dark.  And another goof is that he cut his plywood wrong... at $45 a sheet... that's a spendy goof.  

I realized that all this was going through his head.  So, I stopped wallpapering and gave him a hug and said I love you more than perfect paint, perfect wallpaper, or perfect cupboards!  I realized he took my silence over his anger outbursts as rejection of him and his ability to do the kitchen, not just trying to keep the calm of the house cuz he can fly off the handle quite  quickly if I do not remain extra reserved.  I figured that out years ago, that my own response to him can set him off when he is a bit irritated.  The mother's/wife's attitude can set the entire tone for the home.  Sometimes I would love to yell back, but it wouldn't help either of us with the situation and I would have ended up miserable and he would have been even more miserable.  I tell you that I prayed for patience and prayed for calmness and that God would give me a reserve of love that would cover this trial... because quite honestly my own self was rising up... I had painted the soffit with two coats, three on one spot because the burn was bad enough not to cover and it blended very well and to have it scuffed just because he didn't want to take the other board down that needed to go up after the current board instead of before... well... I was tried!  My perfectionism was tested beyond belief.  But, even though I I have the patience to redo and redo to gain perfect results, Dh does not.  I realized it was more important to make do with the imperfections... Dh will have enough on his plate in refinishing all the cupboards and resizing the cupboards... adding expected perfectionism on everything else he touches was just asking too much.  It's a kitchen... And perhaps that is a fun excuse to gather my creative efforts to draw one's attention to something else in the kitchen rather than the imperfections.  Like HOMEMADE bread, homemade granola, a pretty green salad. 

As for the countertop, we picked a speckled brown and I think I will really like it in this kitchen.  Dh was tired of the Christmas colors (red and green) and going brown was a nice contrast with the reddish paint and the black appliances.  

Back to the cleaning.  Pantry cupboards are next on my list to unsoot.  I hope to send my girls on laundry duty to clean the softer toys that were sooted up.  They are actually unpacking the camper.  We wanted to take one more short camp before the girls start school and it is full of fire items packed in boxes or bags needing some cleaning up.  So, two tasks in one job...

Warmly, ~Melissa