Down Mulberry Lane

Being Used by God...

Our pastor had an interesting sermon today. And considering his past week, I imagine he has been dwelling on the good and bad parts of life and how do we take all of that and live. While we often say we trust God, are we willing to be uncomfortable if in the end we understand the plan? He talked about betrayal and how Judas betrayed Jesus, yet the plan wasn't to take Jesus and murder Him, it was God's plan that Jesus GIVE it up and save us. He also talked about how we have the choice to make each day... each hour, each minute to live for God. Are those always easy decisions? Are we willing to give up self daily... hourly, each moment to live for God?

Much to ponder on when in the midst of cleaning up a house fire I see ultimately many things happening... of one big thing is my tiredness of the situation. Yesterday we heard back from the owner of the cleaning company and he wishes to come out on Monday with the crew leader who led out on the job to see what was done and what improvements can be done. The insurance adjuster will not be there... he told Dh he had made it perfectly clear what he expects done and he will not pay until the work is done. The owner does not want this on his reputation, considering he has an insurance company that recommends him and this adjuster works for 3 companies and he would lose a lot of business.

The owner told Dh that he will see what needs to be done and they will clean as long as it takes to get the house clean, even if that means starting over. My heart just sank... another week of cleaners??? I just want to get on with my life! The peas will be ready to can or freeze just about the time we get our replacement stove...maybe some sooner, but we can eat those. Tuesday is the day the stove arrives.

Dh and I have talked over our hopes and expectations for the summer and GONE... they are all gone. My garden is a mess, even though it is producing items, it is far less than expected due to rain, flooding and lack of time to keep on top of weeds. I can replant another crop for fall if I get it done in the next two weeks... I could replant beans, peas, lettuce, summer squash, etc. But will that happen?... likely not. Mulberries went by with no canning (no stove/oven). Raspberries are almost gone. Strawberries... no stove. My jelly canning is way behind and my only hope is... using juice from the store, which is a mite bit cheaper than regular jelly, but still... not a huge savings and not fresh fruit.

My time to get caught up on school is gone! The girls were to finish up one month's work of school over the 3 months of summer. That didn't and won't happen. In some ways, I can see here where that is OK. I just had to give up on my plan for the summer. My one daughter got a volunteer job in the kitchen at camp and is doing ok, but the work is hard and she is not used to the long hours, she got sick for a couple days, but has seemed to bounce back. Work is good, it builds character and I've never been upset to lay aside studies for good honest work. Perhaps God allowed this opportunity to come at just a time so that it might ease my own discomfort with giving up my plan for school for the summer.

Here, I come back to the current situation. I consider why are we going through this uncomfortable situation. Why the fire? Why the clean up? Why the problems with the cleaners. Am I willing to trust God’s plans? Oh how I do not want to see the cleaners come again on Monday. It seems my life has been on hold the last two weeks and another day is ultimately gone for any sort of plans of our own. Is that selfishness? Perhaps. I wonder why as does Steve as to why we have to be the ones to point out the problems to the boss? The insurance adjuster says he doesn’t want it to happen again, as does the cleaner company boss. Why did it have to happen to us? Why not someone else? The insurance adjuster says we are such honest people, and yet I hardly feel worthy of being called that. What makes us more honest than others? I guess I don’t completely understand.

I know that I hate confrontation. It just makes me physically ill. Headaches, back aches, etc. My ailment this time…. Bad breath! UGH! Nothing is helping to get it to go away. Is that so I don’t talk??? LOL. Let my husband do the talking, eh? Fine with me!!! After hearing the sermon, I was confronted with the fact that often times our lives are simply a seed planted to others. God is asking at this moment for our lives to be an open book to others. Are we willing? Yes, Lord, we are willing to be used by you. I found when confronted by the sermon that thoughts of wanting to duck out of the meeting on Monday are quite high. They don’t really need me there. I could just go shopping at … 8 AM in the morning! Ha! Not likely to happen, either. I realized I was dragging my feet. This is uncomfortable! Dh also realized he likely will miss overtime on Monday because of the meeting, but he didn’t want me to be alone. So sweet. I’ve got a husband willing to hold my hand through all of this and he is not enjoying it either. He says we have nothing to be ashamed of, we did not lie. The house is not soot free as it should have been left. The insurance adjuster verified that the job was done poorly as we did not know what to expect and the fact that he refused to pay for paint because cleaning was not done well… surely testifies to the poor job.

Anyways, I am seeing things and learning things in this situation. I am learning so much about myself, about our family and about how Satan wants so much to make our lives miserable often convincing our thoughts in selfish and vain ways. I also am increasing in awareness of God’s mercy, his wisdom and unending resources to pull from upsetting situations and circumstances and being able to create so much opportunity for growth out of them. Amazing!

Warmly, ~Melissa

Melissa

9:07 PM, July 19, 2008 .. Posted by blessingsbaound

I will keep you in my prayers. I praise God that He continues to teach me even though it may be difficult at times it always leads to good! Mrs. Joseph Wood

Untitled Comment

5:13 PM, July 21, 2008 .. Posted by a1health

Trusting in God is a difficult thing to do because we are all human control freaks. Just keep praying!
Blessings,
~Farrah