Monday, January 21, 2008
Proverbs 31 woman - Day 5
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"She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day". THAT'S IT.....THAT'S HOW SHE DID IT!!!! With the New Year, I decided to take a personal plunge into 'she riseth also while it is yet night' (as the King James version says). Yep, that would be BEFORE dawn. And if any of you fine ladies have ever been adherents to "Flylady", then you dutifully put on your "uniform" (got dressed) and even laced up those tennies!!!! Having been a devotee of not only Flylady, but the original Sidetracked sisters.....I KNEW this way of greeting the day was MUCH more beneficial not only to my family, but to myself......but......I had somewhat strayed off the primrose path! Having found myself in a personal slump, I decided to take the proverbial bull by the horns and just GET UP EARLIER. Not only did I need to get dressed earlier, start school earlier, but I REALLY needed to get honest with myself and spend more time with God.....quiet time, prayer time, devotion time. Just TIME. Without interruption. Only time that happens around here is before anyone else hits the floor!!! I assumed I would need to set an alarm. However, my menopausal body needs to get up and potty several times a night right now regardless of how little I drink after 6 pm, so the only discipline I needed was in actually OPENING my eyeballs to see what time it was during one of my 2 hour bladder trips. Sure enough, one of them was close enough to the self appointed 'early' hour of 5:30.....so.....I got up. And I should insert here....that if any of you have animals, they 'reset' fairly easily. It took our Jack Russell who sleeps with me exactly ONE DAY to figure out Mommy was going to get up before daylight to let her out to go potty......and feed and water them.....and have coffee.....and sit with my Bible and ignore her!! So after making sure I'm "up", she messes with the cat and then gives up and THEN goes back to bed with small son (most mornings hubby's on the road from Indy....not available to snuggle with!) Seriously, as an older Titus 2 woman who has mentored a few younger women in my time, I have ALWAYS wanted to know the complete 'story' behind that Proverbs 31 woman. I am honest enough to admit I do NOT have all the answers, yet I know my Bible does. How on EARTH is it that she could "riseth also while it is yet night", yet 3 verses down, "her candle goeth not out by night"???? I mean, did this woman EVER sleep??? Was she like a Middle East version of Superwoman or something, for crying out loud?? I've been told by several that this is simple a "montage", a veritable collection of events this woman could do throughout an entire lifetime......I don't know, I'm not sure I could live LONG enough to accomplish all that in ONE lifetime, let alone TWO..... SOOOO.......how did she do what she did?? And today's verse, I personally believe.....is the secret!!! I know there are many Bible scholars out there or those of you who are MARRIED to Bible scholars.....but in my completely womanish non-theological mind, this is what works for me!!! And when I came upon THIS version, knew I had the answer!!! If I go back to the beginning of this......study.......the day b4 day 1, and read the whole thing thru......technically I can actually SEE her accomplishing all this in one day.....well, not a day....more like a year, seasons what they are and such. You know, year in and year out......NOT the whole lifetime thing. NOT the hopeless, life engulfing and then you STILL didn't do it all version I was used to reading. SO......not only has this verse from this version 'shown me the way'.......it has given me HOPE. And ladies, sometimes HOPE is all we have. Especially when there's children running to and fro, school work to be done - whether you home school or not, husbands to be paid attention to, money to be ......spent, saved, scrimped and salvaged. There's always all that 'keeper of the home' stuff.....not to mention church, community and extended family. And various and sundry OTHER things we get ourselves involved in. How on earth was I supposed to keep it all straight?? One way that works.......at least for me......is getting up early. Now, the breakfast thing......I might need some improvement on that. BUT, I do know how to make 'from scratch' muffins to DIE for in less time than it takes to open a box and say "betty crocker". And I make the lightest, fluffiest 'from scratch' pancakes and waffles......we just don't "do" breakfast every morning. Like yesterday. My focus was on DINNER and getting it in the crock pot.....NOT breakfast....isn't that why God allowed man to invent cereal?? BUT.....I had gotten up early.....and I HAD already taken my shower, gotten dressed, fixed my hair and makeup.....and was basically ready to go out the door for church BEFORE hubby got up. Not bad, considering Sundays are usually a race until we leave the door.....and not always in such a 'worshipful' mood, I am sad to report. Preparing breakfast, organizing my day. And the second half I will leave to the much more informed than I. All those organizers, planners, calendars that are available out there make the Franklin Planner I carried faithfully thuout my career look like a blank Kindergarten handwriting primer. Most of you out there have used these aids and can report on their usefulness......me......it's the yellow legal pad/sticky pad method. Which was revised from the notecard method of the S.H.E.'s of the 80's. And btw, that system really worked for me, in fact, after we uncovered all the things that had been in storage after this move.....small son actually FOUND some of my old note cards.....what a hoot!!!! But....what a great reminder. I had made those cards up probably over 20 years ago. In another lifetime. BUT, it said one thing to me. If I want to be like that Proverbs 31 woman, I must be consistent. I must do the planning, the getting up early and even the breakfasts.......CONTINUALLY. Like the example in the Bible. So I CAN turn around 5 years from now and say I DID make enough aprons to sell in order to plant that vineyard or garden and even 'buy a field'.....but I'm getting ahead of myself, that's TOMORROW'S verse. All I can say, ladies, is that getting up early and being organized has made ALL the difference in our lives. Not just MY life......OUR life. My family. Try it. But you HAVE to do it consistently for 21 days or more......the formation of habits and all. I expect to see many more lights on over in yonder horizon tomorrow morning!!!! Denise aka The Domestic Angel |
Saturday, January 19, 2008
WOW, time alone
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I am taking advantage of both hubby and small son being gone for most of the late morning, early afternoon and finishing up the afghan for large son and his wife for their anniversary, which was this past Monday. I must say, I am 'gaining' on some of my projects, as most of them are usually a year or more late!!! Practicing that "never spiteful" thing today..... Denise aka The Domestic Angel |
Friday, January 18, 2008
Proverbs 31 woman - Day 4
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Trading ships and exotic surprises!!! "She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises." Sounds very Caribbean-esque, does it not?? Very Greta Garbo and South Pacific and all those romantic, balmy beach scenes of the 40's and 50's old movies. Not quite sure that was what God had in mind, but it DOES remind me of something a pastor we sat under once told us. He said a wife needs to have a certain 'mystique' about her. And here's where my mind goes when I put that together with the verse today. Does it mean we're supposed to go far off in order to find things that will please and excite or are necessary to our families? Doesn't God KNOW how high the price of gas is now?? I'm VERY convicted on this point, since hubby is supposed to be eating organic, low fat, low cholesterol food. We found a WONDERFUL organic grocery, but it is in 'the city'.....50 miles away now!!! I feel I should make MORE of an effort to obtain the things he needs. Especially after losing his father this weekend to illnesses that could have been prevented by diet that started YEARS ago!!! Or does it mean I'm simply to 'surprise' my family and/or my hubby with fun things? Meals, games, little 'field trips', etc? We need to keep our lives interesting. Period. I could dwell on the personal, intimate things about being a wife that this could entail. OR I could bring out how we take care of our homes, what attention we give to them. OR what attention we give to our husbands. OR I could even talk about how boring it is to eat the same meals over and over again. But I am going to let everyone else tell ME what they 'get' out of this verse. Leave a comment or two......you all together are SO much smarter than I can be by myself. And no "sailing ship/size of a battleship" references, ok? What, to you all out there, would be an 'exotic surprise'? (No monkeys allowed)??? I've also decided to only give my take on these verses during the week. I will leave the weekend either for other 'homesteady' things or blank and spend time with family. So, we'll get back at this on Monday. Denise aka The Domestic Angel (cue hula music and drums) |
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Proverbs 31 woman - Day 3
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Ok, today is going to be a fun one for me...... "She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing." Ok, anything that starts with "shopping" can't be all bad, right? But, this has a serious side as well, which my hubby pointed out to me yesterday. How many women can say they ENJOY knitting and sewing? His finer point was......how many women even KNOW how to knit or sew? You know, I worked outside the home this fall for the first time in 13 years. I worked at Joann Fabrics and Crafts for 2 whole months, until sanity returned and we brought small son back home from a 9 week stint in a Christian school and I came back home.....forevermore, I pray!!!! In those 2 months, I worked as a cashier. You would think the amount of people who came thru the doors of Joann's and then thru the register lines would be some kind of indication of how much women like to knit or sew, right?? Well, upon reflection, I can honestly tell you that MOST of those women were there buying seasonal itemsand I was told by those that have worked there for years, that after the 'holiday' rush, the store becomes a ghost town, with the coupons they put in flyers being the only thing that brings in customers.These women were buying Halloween costumes, Christmas and fall home decorations, candles, childrens crafts (although for the life of me I don't know why), cake decorating supplies and other home decorating items, like candles, picture frames, etc..... Now, this tells me that these women truly cared about their homes and the character they reflected.....but were they buying fabric and/or yarn? Nope. Well, let me elaborate (surely by now you 'get' that I WILL elaborate, eh?). I checked thru TONS of fabric.....but the fabric was basically one of two types. It was the fleece for the 'no-sew' blankets, scarves, etc.....or it was calico or cotton or some type of fabric for quilting projects. And these types of fabrics were mostly bought by women who could buy their coffee at a discount at McDonald's .....if you get my drift. And the yarn. I am a yarn a holic!!!! Not to mention fabric, but I digress......Most of the conversation I had about yarn, knitting, crochet, etc, as they were passing thru my line and I asked "So, what are you making?" was with women MUCH older than myself. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE to learn from someone who's had more life experience than me, I am using this as an example. Joann's would like you to think that the entire female world is sewing. Or knitting......I am here to tell you they are NOT....they are "crafting", which is a womanly, God honoring trait in itself, but.....if you read further down in this Proverbs 31 passage......our woman of the hour made all her own clothes, B-E-A-U-tiful clothing for herself. She took sweaters she had made to dress shops to sell....and more on that later, but isn't making a sweater for someone now a late night comedians favorite joke line?? Isn't that type of industriousness relegated to the same level as the ugly tie you give to Dad every Christmas and the picture they paint of the woman who do these things is one that makes her appear old, ugly and not quite with it?? Quite the opposite of what THIS passage paints and I am here to help bring it back where it belongs, I'll tell ya! This verse brought SO many things to my mind. It brought regrets....I wish I had taught my daughter more of the home arts my mother spent the time and taught me.....but, alas, I was a single mom for WAY too long and wrapped up in making something of MYSELF......not my daughter.....and trust me, there will be more on that later!!! But, it also brought some of the best memories of my growing up years. HOURS spent with my mother. Beside her on the sofa as she taught me how to knit. With her behind me as I sat at the sewing machine, encouraging me as I sewed on a difficult project and she showed me a few 'trick's of the trade. When I hear young women speak of spending that much time with their mothers today, it is more of a punishment to them.....not a 'learning' experience. Hours, yea probably DAYS if the truth were known....were spent in stores like Joann's, Hancocks, little out of the way fabric shops with my mother.....searching for just that right fabric or a pattern with just the right collar. Todays society does NOT value these traits. It has no use for them, especially when you can waltz into Wally World (aka Walmart) and purchase a complete ensemble for about twenty bucks. You can't sew something for that cheap. Cheap being the operative word here.......wash it a few times and it falls apart....or wait long enough (a few months) and it goes out of style. My mother said something very interesting to me once. She said that it USED to be that she did all her own sewing because it WAS cheaper. NOW, she says she does it for the QUALITY. And I can completely agree, as will so many others that sew. But today's society also has dictated what we women spend our time on. No longer are we to be content to be those keepers at home.....teaching our daughters the home arts.....we are supposed to long for a 'career', we are supposed to be teaching our daughters that THEY need to get this huge 'degree' so they can go out in the business world and be "SUCCESSFUL"..... Has anyone been reading some of the same articles I have lately?? Where women are 'coming home' in droves. They just feel like something is "missing"? I've asked it before and I'll ask it again......what are we teaching and more importantly MODELING for our daughters?? We are SO responsible for our daughters. Sons, too, but....you understand. Today's young lady thinks dunking a basketball like the guy next door is more important than sitting still and learning to knit. Or sew. There are more sports programs for young girls in most public schools now than there are for boys. More girls are admitted to institutions of higher learning than boys. Check the stats. Does 4-H even HAVE a sewing or knitting entry for young ladies any more?? I've seen some projects at county fair that older women have done.....are they passing on what they know?? I have been praying lately for a revival for the home arts. As you can tell.....it is a subject near and dear to my heart. Not just because I like to do it, but because it is a Godly, Biblical pursuit. I pray that every Christian woman who has daughters either passes on what she knows in that area OR learns how to do it herself so she can pass it on (it has been a few generations since this type of thing was in 'vogue')......before knitting and sewing (and other home arts) becomes a dying or lost art. Shops and enjoys. Knitting and sewing. If only. Denise aka The DOMESTIC Angel (and proud to say my momma taught me everything I know!) |
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Proverbs 31 woman - Day 2
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Okay, ladies, here's where the rubber meets the road. Here's where it gets a tad difficult to swallow. Here's where I really, REALLY need to swallow some pride and admit I have much to work on. "Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long." WOW. OUCH. That was my toes being trounced on. And rightfully so. I've spent ALOT of time reflecting on this one. Does my husband trust me?? Sure he does. BUT.....without reserve?? Does he ever regret the times he's trusted me?? Oh, my. If only I had a nickel for every time I've caused distrust. I've tried to, in my human mind, make this section all about just the BIG THINGS in life. You know, marital fidelity (great), raising his children (pretty good), taking care of his STUFF (okey dokey with that, as long as I don't go in HIS garage) and maybe .....like.....taking care of the things he's worked hard for, like our beautiful leather furniture and our clothes and.......you know, stuff like that. But what about the OTHER stuff. The smaller, you really can't SEE it stuff? Like when he gives me X amount of money for GROCERIES, and I take some of it and use it for McDonalds or nail polish or Avon? What about the times small son eats in the living room, when Daddy is sleeping or the dog jumps up on the leather sofa to take a snooze and I do nothing about it? What about when my friends are talking and laughing about "men"?? And I say something like "oh, sure.....HUSBANDS.....what are ya gonna do, they're all the same"??? What about when he shares something with us that is personal, even difficult for him? And we 'tell' a friend or our mother or insinuate it in conversation in a group? Or even give it as a 'prayer request'?? The verse says he NEVER has reason to regret trusting me. NEVER. And I've been taught that NEVER means NEVER. Not once. Not even a teensy bit. Phew. And here's another one with that same word in it. NEVER spiteful, SHE........treats him generously ALL HER LIFE LONG. THAT'S a long time.......and NEVER??? Spiteful?? What does that word mean? Full of spite.....what is spite?? spite - n, 1. petty ill will or hatred with the disposition to irritate, annoy or thwart. spiteful - adj, 1. filled with or showing spite. Think about that. NEVER to wish that man you live with ill will. NEVER to have a disposition or tendency to irritate, annoy or thwart.....I cannot beGIN to suggest all that that implies. You mean, MY 'disposition' matters?? ALL THE TIME??? How many times have I slammed down a plate or slammed a door or yelled or purposely withheld.....well, withheld something important to him? How many times have I nagged and nagged and nagged (the best definition of nagging I've ever heard is: telling someone something they already know)......REMINDING him to do something I wanted him to do?? Annoying him to the point of him finally doing it just to shut me up? And thwart?? Aren't we women something?? We can manipulate and wheedle just about anything out of our man. OR we can make him change his plans. "Well, honey, I was thinking that instead of JUST going to that tractor supply store, we could maybe first stop by and just look at the flowers at the nursery".....and when the $$ is all spent, I have my flowers, and my husband decides he might as well not even GO to the supply store?? That's a thwarted plan, I'll tell ya! Generously. She treats him generously. You know, my God is generous with His blessings toward me. He was generous enough to send His only Son to die for my sins. So why in THE WORLD do I think generosity should only go ONE WAY?? ESPECIALLY toward the one person on this earth who is supposed to mean the most to me? Does my husband trust me completely because I am never spiteful and always treat him generously? If he doesn't.....then maybe I need to start lookin' in the mirror, eh? And praying daily, hourly........minute by minute for grace enough to pass on. Denise aka The Domestic Angel |
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
That "31" Woman - Day One
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I promised to begin a study/reflection on the Proverbs 31 woman from "The Message" version of the scriptures. The first two sentences are very convicting to me. "A good woman is hard to find, and worth more than diamonds". Huh. I happen to know that diamonds are really nothing more than pieces of coal compressed. With a few other things added, can't remember. BUT, I also know that, by the world's standards and the current asking price for gems.....diamonds are right up there with the best of 'em. A year ago, prior to my birthday (which is in 11 more days!!!).....I jokingly started referring to this billboard that was in a prominent place we travelled almost daily. I'd say things to small son, like "if Daddy asks you what I want for my birthday, show him this billboard". Or if hubby was with us, I'd say "there's my ring, honey, you just need to get it down off that sign". I have a close friend who literally reminds you of her birthday almost DAILY for more than a month prior to. My husband is NOT good in that dept., so I thought I'd try her technique. Actually what I SAID was, "HEY, I'm going to be _____ (that very scary age that has a five and an "O" in it), and I'm gettin' too old to beat around the bush about this present thing....so I've decided I'm going to do something I NEVER do (right) and NAG you two about what I want!!!" Thus the billboard whining. Well, my birthday came and lo and behold, there was this tiny little jewelry box on the table FROM THE SAME STORE NAME as was on that billboard. Now, I harbored absolutely NO visions about getting that same wedding ring set.....although it WAS fun to think about for a while.....but wondered what on earth it could be. I opened the box, with my two guys standing there looking like I was about to discover the cure for cancer or something......and there was a white gold ring setting with a teeny tiny little diamond in it!!! I will NEVER forget the smiles on those 2 faces. Grinning from ear to ear like they'd just given me the world on a platter.....and truly, they had!!! My husband said "well, it's not the set off the billboard, but let me tell you about that set!!!" I almost couldn't breathe as he told this story. Seems he and small son took themselves into this high powered, mega sell jewelery store and actually ASKED how much that ring set on the billboard cost. The clerk who had initially approached them, sort of started stuttering and stammering and backing away like they had ebola or something and said something like "I'll go get the manager"....leaving hubby and small son standing there in their tennies and sweatshirts, looking AND feeling a little out of place, I'm sure...... not knowing what to expect! Well, here comes this woman.....asking "WHAT set were you interested in?" My hubby repeats himself and she goes and consults with yet ANOTHER clerk.....a man this time, who approaches my husband and tells him, "that set is not available to view, however we do have another, slightly inferior set in our vault to show you.....would you like to see that one?" Now, my husband has probably never held anything in his hand more expensive than a torque wrench....but he said "sure, if you'd like". This man then went into the vault and and carries out this ring set ON A BLACK VELVET PILLOW and sets it in front of where they had now seated hubby and small son. My husband picks it up, looks at it, then says "and how much is this set?" To which the man replies "THIS set is only $58,000.00, sir, and looks very similar to the set you requested. We do not have that set on site, as it's value is over what we are allowed to keep in our vault at this location.....however, I CAN show you a catalog with the exact set in it, would you like to see that?" My husband, either game to the whole thing now or completely oblivious to the situation.....says "sure". The man carefully removes the set on the pillow, back to the vault, and shows him this catalog. He points to the set......$98,000.00!!!!! I do not know how he pulled it off, but my husband very calmly stated "well, that's a little out of my price range, I'm just looking for something for my wife's birthday. Do you have something less expensive?" Talk about your understatements!!! So somehow, I ended up with a very modest, yet very important ring my husband picked out for my ___ birthday. And b/c I had misplaced it in some luggage this summer, found out how much it cost.....$200.00. A little less expensive, but this ring means more to me than how much it cost. It means my husband stepping out of his comfort zone to do something JUST FOR ME. How does this rather lengthy story (and I'm full of 'em, so if you want sound bites, find another blog).....what does this story have to do with the first sentence about the "31" Woman?? Well......"worth more than diamonds". They didn't even keep the set they had plastered all over town on billboards in the stores......they were "worth" so much. They showed an INFERIOR version to my husband ON A VELVET PILLOW, for Pete's sake. So......how would your husband present YOU?? How does my husband present ME??? Or ......how does he "keep" me? Better yet......how does my heavenly Father "keep" me? Or want me to keep or present myself to others? Does my character only deserve an unlocked spot in the front of the store, where I could get 'stolen'....or am I treasured enough to be kept in a vault.....on a velvet pillow This speaks to me of all the womanly virtues I can think of. Femininity, modesty, meek and gentle spirit, kind words, helping others, help meet.........I could go on and on. But for brevity's sake (yeah, I try sometimes), I see that a good woman is harder to find and worth more than that wedding ring set that wasn't in that vault. Today's society has put SO much value on diamonds, that they keep them and present them in such a manner that is almost foreign to us. Maybe I should think about presenting MYSELF in the same way. So my husband will call me a 'good woman'. Maybe I should take better care of myself, my health, the way I dress. Maybe I should even 'keep' my words, like Mary, the mother of Jesus.( Luk 2:19 But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart).......instead of blabbing everything I know.....which would "keep" not only MY reputation sterling, but my husband's as well.......so the NEXT verse could be very true "her husband trusts her without reserve". I'm seeing a linking of these verses now. I was always taught that NO woman could do everything at one time or every day like the Proverbs 31 woman. With reading this version, I am having second thoughts about that. More next time. Denise aka The Domestic Angel |
Monday, January 14, 2008
The Proverbs 31 woman - an encouraging version
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Yesterday, small son received a Bible from his youth pastor. "The Message//Remix - The Bible in Contemporary Language" by Eugene H. Peterson. Not being real comfortable with the plethora of 'versions' there are today, I thought I'd just look and see what they had done to the Proverbs 31 passage. I thought for SURE they would have "Barbie-ized" her. You know, business suit, briefcase, successful business woman, probably divorced or never married......I was more than surprised. I am SO comforted by this version, that I want to share it with everyone. Proverbs 31: 10-31 Hymn to a Good Wife A good woman is hard to find, and worth more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long. She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing. She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises. She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day. She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden. First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. She senses the worth of her work, and is in no hurry to call it quits for the day. She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking. She's quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor. She doesn't worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear. She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks. Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers. She designs gowns and sells them, brings sweaters she knits to the dress shops. Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile. When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly. She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive. Her children respect and bless her, her husband joins in with words of praise: "Many women have done wonderful things, but you've outclassed them all!" Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-Of-God. Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises! WOW. As I sat and typed this, God impressed upon my heart to do a Bible study, or at least a self -reflective type of blog for a while. And much of this applies to Homesteading......almost all of it, actually. This verse jumped out at me "When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly"......whew. Go over to my other blog and read today's post......convicting words, to say the least. I read this portion out loud to small son and hubby last night, and when I got about a third of the way done, small son piped up and said "wow, mom, that sounds just like you!"......I was so surprised, I almost cried. I think I fail miserably with most of it, but with God's help, ask for the strength and the wisdom to do better. When discussing the past weekend's events with hubby over coffee this morning, I mentioned this to him. He said he agreed with small son, but that there are not many women around like me. I just smiled, thinking of all you out there, but also knowing in a way, he's right. Why aren't there more of us fighting for OUR "lifestyle"?? Where are the Proverbs 31 women?? Hiding? Where are all the Titus 2 women, that are supposed to be teaching the YOUNGER women the way of the Proverbs 31 woman?? Are we embarrassed to say we're 'just homemakers', when God deems it the best if not only occupation worth praise for women??? Sigh. So much to do....so little time. I have decided that in honor of my mother and Bathsheba (who taught her son, King Lemuel, these things) and my God, I will begin a study of sorts here tomorrow. Based on this version of the Proverbs 31 woman. I am hoping to discover more about myself. And more about what God expects from me. And more about my God given role of help meet, homemaker and daughter of the King. Join me, won't you? Denise aka The Domestic Angel (and proudly so, in light of The Proverbs 31 woman) |
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Hawks and "Mama's boys"
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Really haven't done much in the area of 'homestead' lately. Have certainly looked at my seed catalogs. THAT is so much fun....thinking of all those veggies just a 'bloomin' out there.....AND an effective way to keep the critters from enjoying them before we can!! We discovered shortly after we moved here that there seems to be this hawk that hangs around the edge of the woods, right behind one of the fields. Daddy suggested one day that small son look it up as part of school....so we did. Daddy was curious to know if the same hawk sticks around year after year or are they fickle and change locations....and also asked if they "mate for life" like swans or us humans!! Interesting things we found out. First, we had to identify which type of hawk it was. Seems the most common around these here parts are red tailed hawks. Big guys, really. And they DO stay in a territory....forever basically. And they DO 'mate for life'.....and lay 1-5 eggs every spring. We see them flying around alot, just circling and I always commented "looking for lunch", but actually.....they're guarding or protecting their 'turf'! They are carniverous and like little rodents and such....small son decided he'd keep the dog closer to home or at least keep a closer watch over her when she's back there. Got to thinking.....maybe having a hawk nest a few hundred feet from your garden is a GOOD thing, huh? Meat eaters, NOT vegetarians......keep the little bunnies and such from devouring the fruits of our labor?? We were thinking big outside dog chained not far from the garden.....and might still do that, but I think the hawks are a pretty good natural deterrent. On another note.....reading in Gen. again......I am mulling over a few things. You know, I always thought of Jacob as a deceitful type person and always wondered why God put up with him and allowed him all of those blessings. But after reading today, I think I see Esau as more the 'problem'. Since God knows us from beginning to end, He KNEW Esau would be someone who I would say has 'lack of character'.....I mean, after all....he gave away his birthright for a bowl of soup, for Pete's sake. Didn't have the fortitude to grab a hunk of bread and make it til he could fix himself something?? Of course, then there's that whole 'favorite son/mama's boy' thing going on with Jacob. Which was caused me to question God. Also, I've always been highly suspect of Rebekah. Not sure why and if you asked me, I wouldn't be able to put my finger on it. But I think I see it now. She was such a controlling, conniving mother. "Obey MY voice....do what I tell you". And to top all that off, she was such a COMPLAINER too....and then God spoke to MY heart about some situations around here.....that I am JUST as guilty of. I never really had to worry about the whole mom/dad obey 'who'? thing with my older two.....it was just them and I. No Dad around to argue with about who told the kids to do what. But this time, with small son, it's different. And I'm looking at our life, seeing that I am doing pretty much what Rebekah did to Jacob. And I'm not even talking about how she played favorites. I'm talking about how Rebekah sort of took over. Left Isaac out of the discipline/instructional loop. ON PURPOSE. She ran things. VERY domineering. AND controlling. Of course all the time couching it in "this will be better and your father doesn't have to know"...... And what has my complaining been instilling in small son?? Lack of contentment?? Never being satisfied? Jumping from one thing to another? Hmmmm. Like when I tell small son to get the dog off the sofa when his Dad is home, but then allow it to happen when Daddy's at work. Like when I fuss and yell at small son and tell him if he's not going to eat what I prepare for dinner, he can go hungry.....then I let him fix a sandwich as soon as his Dad walks out the door. And then muttering (read: complaining) under my breath about how my husband is 'treating' poor small son? Seemingly little things......but are my actions causing me to raise an Esau......a young man who would give up all that's really important and dear, for a simple MEAL??? Is my usurping small son's father's authority actually causing the lack of character and discretion I see in this young man/child?? I mean, Esau even LIED to his mother (Gen. 27:36 vs. Gen. 25:33), whining I'm sure, that Jacob had STOLEN his birthright....I guess in a manner of speaking he did, but actually, Esau GAVE IT AWAY, my Bible says he SOLD it, willingly. When the rubber meets the road later in life.....what are my actions and attitudes toward my husband and small son's father going to produce......a whiney baby mama's boy who complains "no one understands me......I don't want to work there any more.....that guy picks on me, doesn't like me, gave the promotion to someone else".....??? WHEW!!! I am SO glad God impressed on my heart to begin this journey thru the Bible this year. I had been convicted of this very thing just a few days ago, when an incident raised it's ugly head and I responded just like Rebekah. REPENTANCE TIME again!!!! I can see a few major changes in the way I do things and my responses on the horizon. You'd think by the age I am.....I'd be better at this stuff. But ain't it great God can keep teaching and shaping our lives? And our character? And that it's NEVER TOO LATE???? Sorry to get deep again today, but I just couldn't get that out of my mind. Thanks for listening. Denise aka The Domestic Angel |
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
More learning in Genesis
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Honestly, God has just seemed to be revealing SO much to me lately and has been nudging me to share....soooo.....even though it's not really very 'homesteadie'...I'll obey God. First , yesterday when I was reading where Abraham had sent his servant to go find a wife for Isaac.....(and I think I'm seeing a theme here, must be God needs me to see it!!).....the phrase "even the time women go out to draw water".... THERE it was again! Obedience. The women were in the place there were supposed to be, doing what they were supposed to be doing!!! and the servant found Rebekah!! What if she had decided to stay home that night and wash her hair? Or she was mad at one of her sisters and didn't want to do anything with her? Or decided to just be selfish and stay home and read a book or something? Or maybe she just didn't 'feel' like going?? Isaac would NOT have had a wife. It just literally smacked me upside my head! We are supposed to be in certain places doing certain things at certain times. And I guess we are supposed to read God's Word to figure out what that is!!! SECOND (and there's only two......for today!). In Gen. 25:20, it says Isaac was 40 y/o when he married Rebekah. The NEXT verse says "he intreated the LORD for his wife, because she was barren". Ok, I'm not a math scholar, but I'm thinkin' it might have taken a little while for this barren fact to dawn on them.....maybe a year? So Isaac is 40 and a short while later, he realizes his wife is barren and prays to God, BEGS God, EARNESTLY ASKED God for, IMPLORED God for his wife's sake. BEGGED God to allow his wife to become pregnant. And practically in the same breath, we find out she concieved......same verse, at least. Which has always made it seem like God answered Isaac's prayer like.....immediately. THEN, in verse 26, it says that Isaac was "threescore" years old when Rebekah had the boys. That's 60. SIXTY years old.....so.... It was 20 years AFTER he began praying that Rebekah had the twins. TWENTY YEARS. How long do we pray? After my first two children were born, I had several miscarriages, a broken marriage, etc.....lots of time went by, remarried and close to the age of 35, realized I was sort of running out of time and could NOT get pregnant again. So, after about 4 years, we consulted a doc, who told us to try some things, we did and 4 months later became pregnant and the result of that is now sleeping in the next room. But honestly, how long did I pray? How long did I or my husband beg God for this child?? And maybe Isaac only did it that once.....but one thing I've learned about God is that He does things and answers prayers on HIS timetable, not mine. Some things I've prayed earnestly for for a seemingly endless period of time, then gradually stopped praying for.....have been answered!!!! Must be why later on in the Bible we're admonished to "pray without ceasing". This whole prayer thing has always been a conundrum to me. But THIS really woke me up this morning. 20 years. How soon do we rush off to the fertility specialist? Or consult an adoption agency? How many stories have you heard of women who have adopted, only to almost IMMEDIATELY become pregnant themselves, even tho a doc has told them it would "never happen"??? I do not begin to claim or think I understand the mind of God.....but...... 20 years. That's a long time. Denise aka The Domestic Angel |
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Noahs Ark, 24 hours and being a Godly, good help meet
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Just didn't know how else to title this entry. 24 hours. NOT the tv show. Never saw it, don't have cable and we're 'weaning', remember? What changes those 24 little hours can bring. Amazing. Our pastor had just mentioned that very thing in his sermon Sunday morning. Now, we're living it. Guess it's just part and parcel of living out here on the 'homestead'. Our basement had some water in it this morning when I got up. Sump pump not working correctly, hubby not home, it's dark outside. GLAD small son was here to 'be the man' and help. And we just might need that Ark.... this place is 2 miles from the Kankakee river, notorious for flooding in certain areas, but not really around here, at least not according to the people we asked b4 we decided to move here. Hmmmm. Although, I'm sure all this ground water has something to do with it along with the several inches of rain (amidst the tornado warnings) of last night, the snow melt from the foot and a half or so of snow that was here just last week AND the 2 or 3 more inches of rain we're supposed to get today.....sigh.  And being that Godly, GOOD help meet for my hubby? A few years ago, this normally frugal man I am married to INSISTED I go out and start buying these ugly, blue plastic totes to put all of the stuff we had in storage in (BAD sentence structure, sorry). I thought he had lost his mind. Most of our 'stuff' was either upstairs (high and dry) OR in the storage shed (not so high and not so dry, but still....the COST!) Almost grudgingly, I stomped off to the nearest Dollar store and bought about $60 dollars worth....did that take care of even HALF our stuff?? Not on your life!! We made several MORE trips to our little local $ store over the next few months. I'm sure they saw me coming each time and thought "here comes this weird lady buying up all our totes". I'm also sure I really messed up their inventory for next year!!! I was sputtering...."WHY on earth do we have to spend all this money on these things?" The storage of more than half our life was basically only supposed to last about 2-3 months (that was over a year ago!) After a few bad looks from hubby, which really could stop clocks......I decided just to shut my mouth and go with it. SOOOO....every time he said "You'd better run and get some more of those totes, honey"......I just left, got 'em, came back and started puttin' stuff in 'em. Grumbling under my breath the whole time though....certainly NOT the sterling example of the Proverbs 31 wife who "does her husband no harm".... This morning, I am supremely grateful and thankful and all those other words for the guidance, leadership and wisdom of my husband. AND had to get on my face in repentance. The water in the basement did not TOUCH any of our schooling supplies, clothing or anything else that was down there. And the water was really not that bad, could have been alot worse. The sump just won't kick on automatically.....hubby will have to look at that as soon as he gets home. Must be a reason God put all that stuff in His Word about obeying our husbands, huh?? Sure proved itself out to ME this morning. His timing, His plans. And that verse "I know the plans I have for YOU".....the song, "Trust and obey".....startin' to all come together for me....not bad, only took 50 years. That must be the length for the stubborn version of 'wives'. Denise aka The Domestic Angel |
Monday, January 7, 2008
Monday change
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No, I'm not able to switch the days of the week around, but wouldn't that be fun?? I'm changing the title of my Monday post to Merciful Monday...... So it will no longer be "Moanin'"on Mondays, but counting the many mercies of God....with an occasional "MERCY, ME", lighter reflection. Just thought the other sounded like too much complaining and looking back....it really was. I believe as believers and followers of Christ, we need to focus on the positive side of things. Even in the gloom and negativity and darkness. OR, we'll just end up like the people of the world, who have no hope.....and God never intended His people to live that way. We are commanded to be DIFFERENT. I had been convicted on that point several times lately. And you know what else amazes me? How each time you read something in the Bible, it can speak something different to your heart. Two things I've re-discovered in my journey thru the Bible from Gen. to Rev. this year. The first, and I may have already mentioned it, but it was brought up again in SS yesterday....how much we as humans want our own way!! And will bargain, cajole and even justify to a sovereign God what we did!!! How stupid is THAT?? Like the God of the Universe is 'fooled' by our duplicity? "Well, I KNOW you told me to do it THIS way, God, but I thought I'd do it THIS way" Sort of like Sarai "helping" God's plan for Abraham to be the father of many nations by giving him Hagar.....yeah, THAT worked out real well!......and then we have the audacity to wonder WHY things turn out badly?? Abram was told to leave his country AND ALL HIS KINDRED.....but he took Lot with him. Of course, it started with Eve....."but the serpent beguiled me, God....." Someone else told me to do it. I couldn't resist. I just THOUGHT......."Lean not unto thine own understanding.....in ALL thy ways acknowledge HIM and HE will direct thy path".....Had to have been a reason he put that in there, huh??? Anyway, today what God impressed on my heart was in the chapters regarding Abraham and Isaac and the 'sacrifice'. One little phrase just jumped off the page at me......Gen. 22:9 "And they came to the place which GOD HAD TOLD HIM OF,.........." (emphasis mine). What would have happened to Isaac if Abraham had decided to "do it his way"? Just stop 2 days away in this little place 'right here', after all, what could it hurt?? Isn't killing my only son in one place the same thing as doing it anywhere else?? I just want to get it over with, God, and be on my way to mourn all the rest of my days......avoid another day of misery. That's what I would have been thinking. Just let me get this dreadful task over with. How much could it matter that I do it WHERE GOD told me to?? Can you just imagine the grief and self recrimination Abraham would have lived with the rest of his life if indeed he HAD done it his way? Just went 1 or 2 days away or took the 2 guys he had with them with him to the sacrifice spot? Or just picked a different spot, maybe in the opposite direction? Sort of like the guilt and self recrimination I live with, when I don't do things the way God has laid out for me in the Bible. Like not fulfilling my God given role as help meet......but that's for another post. I can't help but think right here about a post I read recently about choosing to sacrifice our children instead of sacrificing ourselves. It's what the world does all the time and, if I'm honest with myself, it's what I do too. Not to such a great degree.....but I still think about myself first far too often. What if we just did things God's way?? Like it's laid out in the Bible? How much better off would our children be? And how much of a better example would we be to them to imitate now and when they become adults? Maybe it's just me and maybe it's just the phase of life I'm going thru and maybe it's just that God really does want me to learn to FINISH WHAT I START. But it's painful God, and BORING (sounding all in the world like my 12 y/o).....WHY should I not be able to start this fresh new project.....(and here's where the reasoning kicks in).....but I can make money doing this project and then I can help out with the finances....just the the Proverbs 31 woman, God.....isn't that how you want me to be/?? Why can't I just go off IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION???? And before you know it.....I'm off on a new adventure in a DIFFERENT DIRECTION than what I had started or what God have probably intended.....A project that I will bore with in short order.....leaving the unfinished project and now a NEW unfinished project on the shelf. How much more diligent would I be if I really practiced the verse that I've been chirping at my 12 y/o lately?? "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with all thy might, AS UNTO THE LORD"??? What if I focused on glorifying GOD in everything I do.....small and large tasks?? WAKE UP CALL this morning, and I'm not talkin' alarm clock here!!!! Makes me wonder.....if I HAD finished all the projects on these shelves, in these totes, etc......what would I be working on now?? What greater and 'more fun' project would GOD have had me working on by now?? Man, did I have to get on my face in front of the God of the thousandth 'chance' (Lam. 3:21-23) and repent of being so full of myself. I have much to do. I have SO MUCH to be grateful for. I am not sure if God wants me to finish ALL these things that are here. But I am listening now, like I've never listened before. I can't even IMAGINE how much glory God is going to get!!! AND I can't wait to get started. And it all started with Abraham not stopping to sacrifice Isaac until he got to the place GOD TOLD HIM. Wow. Denise aka The Domestic Angel |
Friday, January 4, 2008
SUCCESS - Day 2
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Phew......actually made it up for the SECOND day on time....well, since I've determined to reset my body clock without an alarm clock, I'm thinkin' 5:40 instead of 5:30 still qualifies as 'on time'. Ain't God good? It's been interesting to watch small son re-discover many of the things that used to be available to him that we've had packed away for almost 3 years. He has rediscovered all his Zoobook magazines. AND his Narnia CD's. So he sits and listens to the CD's while he's looking thru the magazines....good sight to see. It's been exactly one month since we imposed marshall law in this household......banning most electronic devices. NO 'regular' tv (uh, that means for us too)....one movie from OUR 'selection' and occasionally from the library......one flick a day....but it's worked out to be more like one a week!!! NO gameboy, only his little hand held micro thing.....which he basically takes in the truck to go somewhere and forgets he has it. Just radio, books on tape, books in the hand, board games, playing outside, puzzle books, etc. And did I mention?? We set up the "family room" in the BASEMENT (out of sight, out of mind), which by the way....I think is a COMPLETE misnomer....."family" time?? sitting and watching the "devil eye" (as a friend I had once father used to say).....and the only interaction you have with each other that could be called family time is when the commercials are on (unless you have someone who likes the commercials better than the programming) or to criticize or make negative remarks about what's going on in the show?? Or to ARGUE over what to watch, who's talking over what you want to hear?? Cozy, family things like THAT?? Give me my HUGMONGOUS living room with nothing but the furniture and the ONLY thing plugged in to the walls being the lights!!! It is SO relaxing. I even think small son enjoys it. We even gave him a choice the other day of going down and watching a movie.....HE declined, saying he'd just go in his room and 'play' with something. With the door open, btw. And we asked how he was doing w/o watching regular tv programming and would he like it back?? He actually said "no". AFTER we picked ourselves off the floor, we asked why and he just said he 'likes it better this way'. Reminds me of a blog I've read recently about 'children's appetites'. What kind of appetite are we creating in our children....b/c it IS us doing it to them by what we allow. Whew, pretty convicting. You know, I've started my reading the Bible thru the Year schedule too.....and today I was reading about when Abram left Ur and all that in Gen. 10-12. You know, not much has changed today. God TOLD him to leave the land and ALL his kindred.....so, what did he do? Grabbed Lot and took him with them. Wouldn't a nephew be a 'kindred'?Now, I know Lot didn't have a father anymore and they did those types of things back then much like they do now..... But you know what really hit me in this passage?? After disobeying God, but couching it in "doing the right thing"......he goes and builds an altar to God and worships Him and calls on His name.....like God's going to ignore the fact that he 'did it his way'.....NOT God's way. And bless him and say 'that's all right, Abram, you didn't do it exactly like I wanted, but....you DID make this nice altar for me, so I figure you're really a good guy, PLUS you have such a big heart and couldn't have left Lot there all by himself, and I'm not going to do anything about it", which would make God UNjust, right?....."But God DID take care of that disobedience and many others. Ain't that just like us today?? I mean, we go ahead and do what God tells us to do, but we add a 'twist' of our own to it....OR , we just flat out do what WE want to do, then pray for blessings or ask if we should have done it or ask for 'forgiveness' later, expecting God to bless us (you know the saying, which is COMPLETELY unscriptural, btw "it's easier to get forgiveness than permission"......who teaches that to their children???.....Most of us do, by example!!! And I'm talkin' to myself here!!!)......THEN we go to church and just expect God to bless us for doing that little formal service to him at the beginning of the week. FORGET that we didn't do it the way GOD wanted us to.....we just changed it 'a little bit' and of course, that made it BETTER.......better than GOD'S way?? Yeah, all of us do that.....we just don't get the fire from heaven falling down on us as we're running away from a city being destroyed by angelic beings (wonder how we'd act if that DID happen??.....oh yeah, remember the Israelites??).....but.....if you think about it......we DO get 'chastened'. I really don't understand people who say God won't discipline them. Far too many Bible examples to make that argument wash. Old AND new testament. Just like Eve there in the garden.....exaggeration, lust.....sin. Doing it "MY WAY" (like Frank SInatra was alive back then, huh?) Hasn't changed much in all these many years. Didn't mean to get off on such a negative subject, but that's been swimmin' around in my head all morning....oh, MORNING, that's what I was talkin' about.....being on schedule. And I'm thankin' God that He's keepin' us on track!!! Denise aka The Domestic Angel |
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Re-evaluating some things.....
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Been awhile since I've been here. It was time to re-focus and re-adjust many things in our life. Being out here in the 'sticks' as a friend at church so aptly put it this weekend, has given much time to pause and reflect on what is truly important. Some of my re-evaluations are thus: I've decided to create a new schedule for our daily life. Liquid enough to be moved around when necessary, and I'm sure that will be often. I told small son and hubby yesterday the new schedule. Basically, since we still home school, I will be getting up even EARLIER to accommodate getting some things done that are NOT associated with school. I thought I would have to get up by an alarm clock until my body clock 'reset' itself (or had reset the dogs bladder), but since I'm in this lovely time of life where sleep seems to be a thing of the past anyway, had absolutely NO problem getting up this morning right at 5:30!!! I'm sure confiding in God about my need to get up earlier had something to do with it. I have much I want and NEED to accomplish between 5:30 and 8:00. I've decided to pull out an old "Read thru the Bible in a Year" schedule I've used in the past and have begun anew.....currently, I am 'caught up'  . I've tried other plans and they just didn't work for me. I have read thru the Bible 8 times in my lifetime and this will be the 9th!!! It's been a few years, and I felt I was getting 'rusty', plus felt pretty convicted about those "study to show thyself approved" verses.I will also be embarking on a new cottage industry/work from home project. We've done the 'research' and now it is time to 'test market' the product. Be watching for a picture and announcement soon of a website which will be carrying these fine, feminine, necessary items! Lately, I have been SO convicted and intrigued by that Proverbs 31 woman!!! I pray God will give me the strength to "let my candle not go out by night" AND to "arise early in the morning"..... I also have innumerable projects to complete for presents. Sigh. Another new leaf to 'turn over' so to speak. COMPLETING what I begin!! Another goal I have set for myself is to be true to my blogging friends and blogs. I have decided to change up the content a little bit. Since I have blogs both here and at homeschoolblogger.....I think I need to keep the content appropriate. The home school blog will become more of a journal of our school with some musing and thoughts thrown in, while the one here will be more of a contemplative, reflective, sort of soul searching blog. I'm thinking of changing some of my 'theme day's and switching them to here. You know, Frugal Friday, Monday Moanin'......Still praying that thru. So, early in the morning will be my 'computer time'. I plan on keeping better track of all my commenting friends.....and adding some new, I hope. I also have a few manuscripts on the table, have been invited to read not one but TWO books thru with 2 different friends online AND correspond with family and friends via email....all to be kept in line between 5:30 and 8. I'm thinkin' I may need to get up earlier!! I guess I could also use the time AFTER 8 at night......have to see how things 'shake out'. AND small son will be getting up at 8. EVERY morning, except Sat and Sun of course. Sundays will be even earlier for all of us, since we live so far from church now. School starts at 9, break when Daddy gets home, school resumes when Daddy goes to bed and continues until 3 or 4....probably making for a 4-5 hour school day, which is just about normal for us. Could be shorter if small son would not whine, but that's for another blog entry somewhere else now!!! Then of course, there's dinner to get, a few hours with hubby and then the evening 'things'. Small son and I usually sit and read or play a game. Fun stuff. Not sure I want to take this time away from him by adding things of my own. There's always after 10, the time we've established a FIRM bedtime for my little night owl!!! With this move we are also much closer to a home school group we have only been able to participate with marginally in past.....now, we will be able to schedule in many more activities with them!! I've already received their monthly schedules and have written OUR schedule accordingly. Amazingly, it all works out with the way we do school. Sort of a God thing, I'm sure. SOOOOO, I plan on sharing more often, commenting back in a more timely fashion and using this blog as more or less my 'main' blog now. I am SURE we will have LOTS of questions about all types of homestead issues. Hubby wants to 'compost' and has taken out a few books from our little local library on that topic. We have all these bins and containers in and about our garage for recycling.....sort of reminds me of how we took care of our trash when I was a little girl......what goes around comes around, eh? I also got BOTH my seed catalogs in the mail over the holidays. How fun to look thru them as the snow swirls thru the fields. We'll be making a plan soon. Hubby wants to start most plants from seed, so we really need to get our act together soon. Then there's that chicken coop that needs to get started out in the large garage/workshop. The "men's" domain. And I'm sure I'll be asking many questions regarding that from you experts out there. AND about the garden. AND some other small animals we'd like to add over time. So, all in all it looks like some things will be changing. I'll be getting up earlier. Hopefully we will accomplish more schooling. AND I'll be able to "keep up" on these blogs. I pray everyone else that needs to finds the courage, strength and fortitude to re-align their priorities when God tugs at that chain in their heart. It is refreshing and scary all at the same time. Until the next time I remain, Denise, The Domestic Angel |
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
A departure from the norm......
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....but good info I pass on to you all. I've been asked to write about my personal health experience these past few months. And actually, it's been about 3 years, give or take. My spiritual mentor says it might help a few of you out there. And I've re-read this and it is written in my own inimitable hairy-carey chaotic style.....sorry. But first, LONG story short, BAD snowstorm (out of the northeast and my Daddy says "ain't NOTHIN' good comes out of the east" - related to weather), no DSL, no phone, completely disconnected with the world. Really strange. Got back early yesterday, but doc appt. with small son's thumb (completely healed, no tumor in site!!), no time, I'm back. Ok, now the medical revelation. And I will TRY to keep it short, but this is fairly involved and convoluted (like a Tom Clancy plot line), so bear with me. It just might save you untold misery and doc bills!!! About 3-4 years ago, I started experiencing swelling in my right ankle. Just the right one. Sigh. Weird stuff starts to happen to you when you're getting close to 50, so I just assumed that. Also, Daddy side of family has horrible vascular problems, just thought my 'inheritance' was kicking in. Now, the swelling was not constant, nor was there any rhythm to it. No cyclical "that time of the month" answer to it or anything that easy. Flash forward to this August. I started working. Standing on my feet sometimes 8 hours a day. NOT something I did in my 'retirement' years of being home. Well, at least not constant, I'm sure you all understand. HORRIBLE swelling started. The kind that doesn't go down just by sleeping it off all night. I finally got scared enough, actually thought it might be my heart. Went to doc. Then the 'testing' started. He told me some very educational things that helped me piece this puzzle together. Because, folks, what the docs said or did was NOT what "cured" me. It was my OWN investment in my health, my OWN research, some input from my spiritual mentor.....and alot of God. By now the swelling had gone over to the other side of my body. But I had other things going on also. My 'arthritis' that a doc found on films (also about 3-4 years ago) showed RA in my wrists and fingers.....and she was at a loss to explain it. In the past 3-4 years, I had experienced more depression than I ever thought possible for one person. Rightly so, we had alot of stuff going on in our lives, but honestly....... And then, there were the mood swings. Some related to "Aunt Maude" and some not. I remembered what my spiritual mentor (and spiritual and medical "guru") had told me about swelling. During PMS. That if your legs are swollen, and your eyes are puffy and you feel 'groggy', chances are your BRAIN is swelling also.....which causes mood swings.....DUHHHH. She learned this when her SON was suffering from non-cancerous brain tumors, not a 'cycle' time in sight for him. Hmmmmm. So, I layed off the salt. Yes, I have always been a 'saltaholic'. My mother used to tell me my 'blood was going to turn to brine'. Didn't help. Hmmmm. Swelling ALSO can cause joint problems. Did I REALLY have the dreaded RA???(Rhuematoid arthritis). Ok, during the initial visit to my doc, he took a blood test. We go back (I drag hubby to everything now so he 'believes' what is said), he nearly faints and has to really restrain himself (he's almost shouting), and tells me my hemoglobin is SO low he can't believe I'm upright. Checks my eyes. THEN explains how low iron/hemoglobin/anemia can cause swelling. Here's where it gets convoluted. Seems the iron in our blood acts as a sponge and absorbs fluid. If we don't have that protein, the excess fluid our body collects daily has to go somewhere.....and that somewhere is in our TISSUES. Explains the swollen ankles. Does NOT explain why it was happening. My doc was CONVINCED I was bleeding internally somewhere. Did I have heavy monthlies? Well, yes, but my gynie doc told me this was completely 'normal' for my body, since my mother had them also.....and most girls end up being like their mothers. PLUS, since I am 'that' age, I am not having NEARLY the 'monthlies' I was having say......5 years ago?? How could that possibly be a factor?? Did I have black, tarry stool? No. Did I have blood in my stool? No. Do I ever cough up blood? Good grief, NO. Was I sure?? SURE??? Yeah, I think I'd notice if I harked up a lung or something. Did I have stomach pain? Well, technically, no. He never asked about heartburn. For which, I began taking these little pink/store brand/generic 'acid reducer pills'. And I'll be honest with you. Over the past 3-4 years, I had to keep upping the dose. To where I was finally taking 2 of those 3 times a day. Sometimes more. Up to 'prescription strength' now, since I knew most OTC meds are about half the prescribed strength. My blood pressure was low, it always is, but it was NOT as low as 'normal' for me. Hmmmmm. Everything normal. Well, medically speaking. After my doc scheduled me with my first 'test', and I must say, he must have called in some favors and been REALLY worried, b/c I was in hospital in less than a week, I decided to take my medical concerns into my own hands and "google" low iron/hemoglobin. Good grief! What I learned. But one little paragraph from Mayo clinic changed my life. Here it is. ***An inability to absorb iron. Iron from food is absorbed into your bloodstream in your small intestine. An intestinal disorder, such as Crohn's disease or celiac disease, which affects your intestine's ability to absorb nutrients from digested food, can lead to iron deficiency anemia. If part of your small intestine has been bypassed or removed surgically, that may affect your ability to absorb iron and other nutrients. Some medications can interfere with iron absorption. For example, regular use of prescription-strength stomach acid blockers called proton pump inhibitors may lead to iron deficiency anemia, although this is unusual. Your body needs stomach acid, which these products suppress, to convert dietary iron into a form that can readily be absorbed by the small intestine.*** A few things jumped out at me. And btw, this paragraph was BURIED under all the cancer related anemia info. So ladies, READ EVERYTHING. First, small son was diagnosed with a FORM of 'celiac disease' when he was 5. They originally thought it was Crohn's, but blessedly, it was not. Did I have some kind of latent form of such?? THEN.....the last two sentences. "For example".......after that, it ALL started making sense. I had been not only over medicating MYSELF by taking those 'acid reducers'....I was causing ALL these problems I was having from depression to mood swings......to the swollen ankles. Here's what I KNOW. Swelling externally means something is swelling INTERNALLY as well. Your brain sits in a sort of water barrier/cradle.....and can be affected by SWELLING. Which, ladies, CAN cause serious personlity issues. Screaming, yelling, moodiness. Just lay off the salt for a while before each monthly and see. Swelling of the brain can cause major mood shifts and untreated swelling can, I believe, lead to DEPRESSION. I am not a doc, just putting 2 and 2 together , and since I'm not very good at math.....just read for yourself. Swelling ALSO puts undue pressure on JOINTS. Makes them ache and swell. Hurts to move. Just like arthritis. Just read all the recommendations for arthritis. They ALL tell you to lay off the sodium. And can we talk about TRYING to lose weight and not being successful?? Could water retention have anything to do with that???? I also believe most mainstream docs are NOT going to agree with you if you bring this up or tell you this might be part of the problem. WHY??? I have one of the greatest docs around. He will literally do anything I ask him to. Run any test. And he LISTENS when I tell him what's going on......HOWEVER......he did NOT believe me when I told him he would not find any internal bleeding. INSISTED it was 'chronic, slow bleeding' from SOMEWHERE internally. I believe this to be part of the medical professions 'covering their own behinds' philosophy of health 'care'....which is a misnomer in itself.....but don't get me started on that. Again, when they found NOTHING in the upper/gastro area (THERE were aghast, I was NOT) and after they scheduled the dreaded colonoscopy.....I kept saying "you are NOT going to find anything.....I told you what I thought it was and have taken steps to fix it".....meaning I went COLD TURKEY off all OTC meds I had been taking.....up to and including the nasty iron that made me sick that they said would change my iron count....which did NOT even after 3 weeks of quadruple doses. YUCK!!!!! It has been 2 months now since this fiasco began. I quit working, which I prefer. We brought small son home to home school.....which I prefer. But everything else is the same in my life. Same husband, same stress, same scenario at home, except a different home which IMPROVED the stress level, once we got moved. Yesterday, I stopped by the home of my spiritual mentor and medical guru and showed her my ankle. COMPLETELY down to normal. I even had a pair of shoes on that I thought I was going to have to get rid of because there was NO WAY I could even get them on a month ago. She told me I should share this medical journey with everyone I can. She is going to put it out as a devotion on her website. I am posting it on both my blogs. Think...... HOW many women (and men) might be out there unnecessarily taking anti-depressants or arthritis meds (which can cause even GREATER, WORSE and eternal problems, such as heart diesease, addiction, etc) , when it just MIGHT be the over the counter acid stoppers they're taking?? I mentioned my story to a lady who had just had a major hip replacement and she just sort of started looking at me funny. Seems HER hemoglobin was EXTREMELY low before surgery and her doc was just as baffled as mine.....but, she said, it must not be what I've discovered, b/c they GAVE HER "Priolesec" while in hospital......can you say DUHHHHH?????? Makes you wonder just which organization is in cahoots with who, hmmmm? Now, I'm aware that there are other causes and problems that can cause the problems I had. SERIOUS ONES that need checked out. And that there is a 50/50 chance it IS something else, so everything needs to be checked out. But before that.......if you ARE taking an OTC acid blocker/reducer......how easy would it be to STOP taking it for a month or so before seeing a doc?? Or even go in and have a blood test first, then stop the meds, THEN take another blood test?? And reassess how you feel?? You might be surprised. And your doc might be also. I have yet to have a follow up appt. and get my newest blood count, both docs 'out of town' until after the first of the year. However, after the last procedure, which was 3 weeks AFTER I stopped taking the otc meds.....my hemoglobin had gone from 7 to 8.9 (and I had QUIT taking the iron by then)......a rather significant jump. And THAT was a month ago. I'm wondering how high it will be next month?? Now, is it easy giving up that crutch of a drug that allowed me to eat anything I wanted??? NO, not on your life. BUT......my clothes fit better now. I'm a nicer person, mood swings not so 'swingy' and I no longer want to get rid of everyone and everything in my life. My JOINTS feel better. I can wear some rings I had pretty much written off, even the joints in my hands are 'down'.......AND...... I have no more headaches......which caused me to take almost lethal amounts of ibuprofen, that I talked myself into thinking it not only helped my head, but my joints also. Do I have to watch what I eat??? Uh, yeah. I think most of us should by this age anyway. I just wonder how easy it would be to help symptoms of depression, PMS or arthritis by examining your lifestyle and med routine FIRST before running to a doc for even MORE meds???? So, that's my story and I'm stickin' to it. And please, if anyone has any questions or examples of this same type of experience in YOUR life, please feel free to email me. Or Google......whatever symptom you're having and read PAGES of info.....lots of good stuff out there is buried. Could be interesting to see how many others out there may have the same problem. Denise aka The Domestic Angel |
Friday, December 14, 2007
Did anyone see the sunrise this morning.......
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.....in the Northwest Indiana area?? Oh, my.....how absolutely beautiful. And I could actually SEE it, unencumbered by buildings. I've always wondered where the color torquise came from....and some shades of pink. And a slightly darker shade of robin's egg blue. I think I saw them ALL this morning. It's like God scheduled this beautiful sunrise just for me to take a break and stand in awe of His creative handy work. And we humans think WE'RE creative!!! Just wanted to share. I love sunrises. I've taken TONS of pictures of some when we were in the U.P. over Whitefish Bay. When we get our new computer, I'll have to share those photos, currently residing on my digital camera. Right now, I'm afraid this dinosaur would give up the ghost if I loaded one more program on it. I am 'babying' it until after Feb., when hopefully we will have the extra $$ for a new one! Hope some of you got to see the beautiful sky this morning. Makes the phrase "handiwork of God" come to life! Denise aka The Domestic Angel |
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Musings
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Wow. Such a difference 24 hours can make. That peaceful feeling I wrote about last post?? Shattered on Sunday afternoon by 2 boys having incredibly bad judgment and doing something really really stupid. Looking back, I can see where it comes from. We have taken care of it. My peace has returned. Another teaching moment for ME! As I sit here now, our large Birman cat is sitting on my sewing machine, gazing out at the fields. Such a peaceful picture. The weather has been strange here lately. If all the rain we've had the past few days were snow, we would have feet and feet of it!!! Lots to work on today to prepare boxes to be mailed for Christmas. No seed catalogs yet. Hmmmm. Maybe I put the wrong address on them. Need to awaken small son and get going for the day. Denise aka The Domestic Angel |
Friday, December 7, 2007
Counting our blessings
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Wow. As I sit here in the room where we have the computer, my sewing machine AND a full sized washer/dryer, and still have empty spots, I am amazed at how this much space makes me feel peaceful. In fact, I still have cupboards that are empty, closets that are not crammed to the brim and a living room that I could STILL put a few more easy chairs in and have enough room for the Christmas tree!!! And that's not even COUNTING all the room in the humongous, finished basement, where we have the tv and family room set up.....complete with A PIANO that was left for us!!!! Unbelievable. Now, I KNOW we are not supposed to depend on our circumstances for our mindset....but this has to be our little slice of heaven on earth right now......or perhaps just mine. Is it perfect?? Oh, my, no. The hot water runs so slow, that I cannot wash my hair in the shower. It would take me WEEKS to get all the shampoo out of this thick mess of hair. So, I wash it in the kitchen sink.....just like I did growing up for 19 years at my Daddy's house. Good practice, I guess, huh? And the automatic garage door opener for the attached garage only works if you push or pull the garage door at the same time as you're pushing the button.....but did you hear what I said?? FIRST, I used the word 'garage', which we have not had since returning to this area almost 2 1/2 years ago. and SECOND, I said 'the attached garage'......there is also this HUGE DE-tached garage/workshop behind the house, just north of the PAVED driveway/turnaround.........PAVED......not sand and dirt that gets drug into the house!!!! There is just SOOOO much to be grateful for. Always is, but right now this is just such a blessing to me personally, I am just overflowing with thanks and gratefulness to God for allowing this to happen. AND deeply grateful to my hardworking, frugal husband. He works SO hard, SO many hours. He deserves this place of peace and restfulness to come home to. All of this has made me realize what truly makes us 'happy' as opposed to what gives us joy. Joy comes from inside from a grateful heart. And it should not be my circumstances that make me joyful. Happy, maybe, but not the joy that comes from having everyone together. I think I can still manage to maintain my joy, even if we ever have to move back into that nasty house again. Would I be happy about it?? Probably not. But I can be happy as a clam right now AND joyful AND grateful. So much has happened this past year. God is still teaching and stretching me and He is so patient. And I am SOOOO glad He is. Denise aka The Domestic Angel |
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
We're BACCCCKKKKK!!!!!
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Major part of moving complete. Connected to the internet a few hours ago. Still lots of 'stuff' at other house, but most in shed. We will try to put up Christmas lights this weekend. Will TRY to put up tree later today. I'm just not very good at that stuff. We LOVE LOVE LOVE it out here. Although small son AND hubby have both confessed to having 'homesick' feelings. not sure how or WHY on earth you would miss being on top of each other all the time....but....to each his own. I in NO way miss or yearn for the small confines of our former home. I still have empty cupboards, for Pete's sake. Can't tell you the last time THAT happened. Small son has scoped out the garden area. Found lots of things not harvested. Methinks former renters left in a hurry or before harvest time. I KNOW I'll be asking tons of questions from all you fine homesteaders come springtime. Can't wait. Hoping the seed catalogs come soon. Today is one of those perfect days for a steaming cup of hot cocoa or tea, sit by the window and watch the wind and snow whip by the window and gaze at the seed catalogs and dream of spring. It's quite blustery out here. More another time. Denise aka The Domestic Angel |
Friday, November 30, 2007
Signing off.......
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....until we're hooked up with the new internet service at the new place. Please pray the transition is an easy one. Denise aka The Domestic Angel |
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Boxes, boxes, everywhere
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Well, we really are going to move. Hubby brought home boxes yesterday and we are supposed to be filling them. But SO much else was left undone with my nearly 3 days of inability to do anything. I am pushing it today, but am trying to take 'breaks'. Small son has much packed up in his room. Hubby even packed his 'desk stuff' this morning, whilst I was out on a goodwill call and meeting with someone about our women's ministry. Then it was off running MORE errands with small son in tow......bank, library, dollar store, groceries......all before running back here to fix dinner (Taco Pie) and then the Christmas fellowship for the ladies ministry at the church tonight!!!! I AM excited, but with everything that has happened in these past 3 years, I am 'gun-shy'. I guess I will believe it when I am there and sleeping in a bed that is not here. We will be going and picking up the key tomorrow morning after hubby gets back from work.....then out to the new place for some checkin' out and measurin'.......small son requested to not see it before it was actually "ours". He can't WAIT to see all that land.....and pick his room......and look at the huge garage where he and Daddy will be building a chicken coop. This past years attempt to purchase the home of our dreams, only to have it fall thru 4 days before closing b/c of something the owner would not take care of......took quite a toll on my tenderhearted, Aspie son. Me too, but I'm a grown up and I'm not supposed to let these things matter, right?? God knows. Tomorrow I will get up early again and start in earnest with these boxes. Hubby wants everything off the tables, benches, flat surfaces, so when he and the 'burly bunch' come in on Saturday, they just have to cart it all out to the rental moving truck. EEEKKKK!!!!! So many boxes, so little time. Denise aka The Domestic Angel |