Daughter of Grace
SHOWER MOMENT!!!! VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION
I think I've figured out WHY I 'feel' this way.
It certainly makes sense, in the scheme of things......here is a copy of an email I sent to a friend and my daughter in love this am......I've taken out personal references, of course.
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Girls,
Just had a 'shower moment'....and it occurs to me that some of the hormonal issues of PCOS and just normal 'womanly' exhaustion, must stem from the same source, the adrenals.
It can cause SO many problems. Thyroid, can't lose weight....other hormone issues.....read what I've copied here and google things yourself....very enlightening.
I believe the major cause of all these issues is STRESS.
I also believe that if I had started supporting my adrenals with supplements and DE-stressing my life about.....ummmm......well, YEARS ago, I would not be in the mess I'm in now.
Read on.......
If you are experiencing tiredness, be sure that you are also addressing the
adrenals.
Women frequently have exhausted adrenal glands by the time they reach the
mid-thirties or early forties. The causes are many such as unhealthy diet,
certain disease, certain meds, high stress levels, low Vitamin D-3, water
and environment toxicity. Progesterone that is normally produced by the
adrenal glands stops as the body focuses on producing cortisol and not
progesterone or other sex hormones, for that matter. Insufficient
progesterone production leads to estrogen dominance.
The adrenal glands deal with the daily stress of life. To have total body
hormonal balance requires normalization of the adrenal gland. In fact,
replacement of deficient hormones alone without addressing the overall
health of the adrenal glands can be a band-aid approach and thus ineffective
on the long run. The normalization process starts with stress reduction by
increasing rest. A good night's sleep is a great beginning because this is
the time when the body heals and repairs. Go to sleep early and make sure
you sleep in a completely dark room to maximize melatonin production. It is
prudent to optimize the adrenal gland function concurrently with
progesterone supplementation. Multiple hormonal supplementations such as
DHEA, pregnenolone, low dose natural cortisol or cortisol enhancing agent
such as licorice root extract should also be considered. An optimal
balanced intake of vitamins and minerals serves as a good foundation,
including 500 mg to 3000 mg of vitamin C, 400 to 800 I.U. of Optimum E,
10,000 to 25,000 I.U. of beta-carotene and other important minerals such as
selenium, magnesium as well as important amino acids such as lysine, proline
and glutamine. I would highly suggest intraMAX for a great foundational
multi-vitamin mineral complex, plus it also makes a great pre-natal.
Supplementing with natural hydrocortisone or cortisone acetate in doses of
2.5 to 5 mg two to four times a day can be a safe and effective way to
replenish depleted adrenals. In my opinion, hydrocortisone supplementation
should be done under the guidance of a healthcare practitioner.
Once your hormones are effectively balanced they will stay balanced for the
entire month as long as you are keeping yourself healthy. In the beginning,
some women will experience symptom recurrence during the days they are off
of the cream, but as you become more balanced those symptoms should subside.
I think these symptoms are usually from adrenal stress concerns that should
be further addressed.
Be Well~
Loretta
My Natural Health Blog
http://www.
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Adrenal Stress Disorder
“I don’t feel well, I have so many problems, but my blood and other tests are ok. I don’t know what’s wrong.”
The adrenal glands are located over each kidney and are important for many bodily functions. They are instrumental in managing stress in the body, but it is possible for them to be overwhelmed by it.
A condition prevalent today is adrenal stress disorder (ASD), also called ‘functional hypoadrenia’. This is not a disease process as such; it is a condition in which the adrenal glands are incapable of meeting all the demands placed upon them. The adrenal glands are responsible for many functions and may thus cause a myriad of symptoms – fatigue, dizziness, joint pain, allergies, digestive disturbances, asthma, palpitations, back pain, headaches, impotence, colitis, chest pains, moodiness, mental anxiety, nervousness, mental sluggishness, shakiness, and so on.
Because most doctors are trained to think in terms of disease rather than functional problems, they do not recognize adrenal stress disorder until it becomes frank Addison’s disease or other major failure of the adrenal glands to produce hormones. When these disease processes are present, hormone medication is necessary to preserve life. Fortunately, Addison’s disease and other adrenal failures are fairly rare, whereas adrenal stress disorder is very common in our society today. It is a condition in which the body is not functioning optimally, but a disease process is not present.
Standard laboratory tests are designed to find Addison’s disease and other frank failures. The tests may not reveal adrenal stress disorder. A thorough case history in conjunction with general clinical and applied kinesiology examinations can detect adrenal stress disorder very easily when the physician considers functional disorders as well as disease processes.
The condition usually develops as a result of three factors: (1) more demand – i.e. distress in forms – placed on the adrenal glands than they are capable of handling, thus depleting their reserves; (2) dietary indiscretions; and (3) structural dysfunction causing stress within the body.
Hans Selye, M.D. researched this condition in the 1920’s and 30’s, providing the basis for our current understanding. He described the general adaptation syndrome (GAS) of adrenal stress disorder, which consists of three stages. The first stage is the alarm reaction, which is a call to arms of the body’s defensive mechanisms – provided by the adrenal glands – against stress. The alarm reaction is present during any stress, whether it is emotional, an injury, a demand to fight, or any upsetting factor.
The second stage is that of resistance which occurs when the stress tat activated the alarm stage is prolonged, the adrenal glands actually grow in size to meet the demand of the long-term stress.
Third is the exhaustion stage, during which the adrenal glands become depleted. This is the final stage of adrenal stress disorder.
Adrenal stress disorder is responsible for so many symptoms that many doctors not knowledgeable in its diagnosis and treatment have classified patients with this condition as hypochondriacs or as having “nervous” conditions, and have given them antidepressants r tranquilizer medications To better understand why there are so many symptoms, let’s look at the major classifications of hormones produced by the adrenal glands.
Adrenal Cortex
The adrenal cortex is the outside portion of the adrenal glands that produces three major types of hormones.
- Glucocorticoids are responsible for converting fats and protein for use as sugar in the body, and they release stored sugar. This activity helps prevent low blood sugar commonly causing depression, shakiness, headaches, unclear thinking, and many other problems. Glucocorticoids are also anti-inflammatory hormones that help prevent rheumatoid arthritis, colitis, duodenal or gastric ulcers, rhinitis, sinusitis, bronchitis, hay fever, asthma, chronic upper respiratory infections, skin rashes, and/or other inflammatory disorders that do not serve a useful purpose.
- Sex corticoids are the male and female hormones, testosterone and estrogen. The female hormone, estrogen, is produced by the adrenal in very small quantities compared to the production by the ovaries; however, it is thought that this hormone is important in the menopausal female.
- Mineralocorticoids play a major role in the mineral balance of the body. Minerals that are out of balance affect the body’s fluid balance, including the fluid inside and outside body cells. Blood volume is also affected. The mineralocorticoids are the body’s pro-inflammatory hormones, working with the glucocorticoids to help keep inflammatory processes in check.
Adrenal Medulla
The inside portion of the adrenal gland secretes two types of hormones. The first, epinephrine – sometimes called adrenaline – has been known for a long time; it is the hormone primarily correlating with the “fight or flight” mechanism, enabling an individual to fight stress. Epinephrine and norepinephrine from the adrenal medulla help mobilize sugar from the body’s storage and control the autonomic nervous system. Since sugar is needed by nearly all tissues of the body, and since the autonomic nervous system controls the body’s organs and glands, you can see the wide effect of the hormones from the adrenal medulla.
Along with the actions noted above, the adrenal gland plays an integral role in the delicate balance of the glandular system. It stimulates some glands and, in turn, other glands stimulate it. Failure of any gland tends to throw the entire glandular system off balance.
People inherit their glandular patterns much the same as they inherit facial characteristics and body builds. Some people inherit very strong adrenal patterns that make them capable of abusing the adrenal glands with many forms of stress or dietary indiscretions without having health problems. Others, unfortunately, inherit weak adrenal patterns, allowing the cumulative factors of stress to cause health problems rather quickly and easily. When adrenal stress disorder is diagnosed in a person, it should be suspected that because of genetics his/her children, aunts, uncles, and other relatives might have the same condition, causing some of their health problems.
What can be done about the problem?
When adrenal stress disorder is present, a person tends to consume large quantities of adrenal stimulants and carbohydrates such as sugar, starch, and alcohol. Whenever there is stimulation, depression follows, and that eventually needs more stimulation. This continuing cycle may eventually lead to addiction.
In order to rebuild the adrenals, it is necessary to withdraw from stimulants such as caffeine, cigarettes, alcohol, and sugar. Be careful – caffeine is present in many over-the-counter medicines such as aspirin compounds, cold medications, and pain-relief drugs, and sugar is added to many foods. The adrenal glands cannot rebuild when they are constantly being over-stimulated.
If the condition has been present for a long time, a rebuilding program is necessary.
Some or all of the following are necessary to bring the adrenal stress disorder under control:
Dietary change
Stress reduction
Withdrawal from stimulants
Nutritional supplementation
I am convinced that I am in exhaustion stage and have been in it for....probably since the doc first put me on anti-depressants at the tender age of.....25. Maybe not exhaustion at that point, but the beginnings.
The good news/take away from all this is it IS 'fixable'....Praise the Lord.
I think if you follow with supplementation and then with some of the advice here (plus lose weight, sorry), you will start feeling better almost immediately. DON'T WAIT.
Thinking about difficulty in losing weight....I can only think about stress you can be under under for such a long period of your life.
If I'm reading this and other info correctly....just b/c the stress goes away, does not necessarily mean the problem goes away....the damage is already done....which is a 'set up' for future immediate reactions.....
I'm only saying this b/c of recent events here that have caused me to almost.....stop. I have NO 'want' to do anything about this move, even though it IS what I want. It's like I'm almost paralyzed. Physically, emotionally and mentally.
I guess the years have taken their toll....and NOW I'm wondering what this has to do, if anything at all, with Alzheimers......especially in women.
Phew. Gotta go. Supposed to be packing, but barely could get a shower.
Hope this helps someone.
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Such important information. And NO ONE....not ONE DOC, not one FRIEND.....not any of my reading.....pointed me in this direction.
It all adds up. I could be a poster child for adrenal exhaustion.
After this move....my focus will be on getting back on my study schedule AND get on a good supplement regeime.....lifestyle, food, etc.
ONE STEP AT A TIME. ONE CHANGE AT A TIME......yes, even the coffee....sigh.
A long way to go and miles..........to go before I sleep. (Apologies to Robert Frost, one of my fav poets)
Denise, Daughter of Grace......who is grateful that Lamentations 3:21-25 is in the Bible!!!!!
"This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.
It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning; great is THY faithfulness.
The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him".
I tried......
But, this morning the internet on the big pc would NOT work (although small son just got up and "plink" it working for HIM)....and I've had to do everything on my laptop and it makes my wrists hurt to type too much on it....
I sound like I'm whining and I'm really not....I just am sitting here staring at empty boxes knowing I need to fill them and that hubby will be bringing more home and.....
Not that I do not want to get out of here.....oh, contraire.
I just don't have the heart (or the back, since we're talkin' body parts) to get motivated. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???
I PROMISE to finish my series on stress, cortisol, belly fat and underwear as soon as I get settled.
Anyway.
If I don't blog for a little bitty....PLEASE don't think I've abandoned this thing again. Sometimes it is the only thing that makes sense to me....if that makes sense to anyone else.
Sigh. Guess I should go at least get my clothes on and start.....packing.
Later.
Denise, Daughter of Grace (who really wishes she could afford a mover).....or at least had some friends to help. Doing this all by ourselves is getting old....right along with me.
Inquiring Minds want to know.....
Because let me tell you, dairy accounts for THE MOST expensive portion of my grocery budget right now...and if I use these recipes I've had for YEARS....there's no getting around it.
(SIDEBAR) - we have gone back to what I call our 'shoestring budget' for groceries for a few months due to this move. After that, things should be better, but this house came up BEFORE a few bills were paid off...so....I'm 'helping' and being a Prov. 31 woman any way I can....I would have gone on starvation rations to get out of this house, even small son agrees....(Sidebar complete).
MJ, my good fb buddy and friend, commented perhaps I was making "too many goodies"???
HARDLY.
Unless you count 'goodies' as dinner, lunch and breakfast cooked at HOME.
Desserts?? Don't do 'em. At least not often. Maybe a few times a month. And those seem to have less dairy in them than main courses, anyway. At least the stuff I make.
So, does anyone out there have an answer to this cunundrum?
I do not have time to research every recipe I use, but .........I'm guessing 50-80% of them contain dairy in some form.
Sour cream, milk, shredded cheese, milk, cottage cheese, milk, yogurt, milk, butter/marg., milk, processed cheese, milk, MILK, MILK.
It's enough to make a person want to run out and buy a dairy cow and keep her chained to the back porch for easy access.
And here's what I've done to cut the costs. I make my "magic milk", even when the powdered stuff is high, just to stretch it as far as I can. Doubling is good.
I only use about half the shredded cheese called for in any recipe, unless it really makes a difference in the finished product.
I NEVER use ricotta, always cottage. Store brand plain yogurt. Store brand STICK marg/very little butter....again, only if it makes a difference in the finished product. Processed cheese?? Not very often, usually only when I'm feeling 'rich', or making something for a church dinner.
I make my own cream of mushroom soup from a mix with water (tastes better too). AND all my own 'white sauces' instead of soup mixes. I've even omitted cheese from the top of recipes and replaced it with bread crumbs/crushed chips/etc. We even make our own 'flavored yogurt' with plain yogurt, sweetner of your choice and kool-aid powder.
So WHY, when I'm at Aldi's....is the dairy section where the largest portion of my $$ adds up (or is taken away, as I keep a running total of what I'm spending)?????
We will NOT use soy or tofu products. Sorry. Don't think soy is a good option and the fam has gone along with most of my health choices, but just can't get behind the tofu thing.....can't say I blame them.
THEN.....there's meat.
Don't even get me started with that one.
SOOOO.......here's what I've come up with, after thinking on this for about 24 hours.
I think we (and that's the corporate "we", up to and including the people who make up these recipes), WE have all been brainwashed and sold a bill of goods.
NO ONE needs that much dairy OR meat in their diet.
Has anyone heard the 'theory' about our (coporate 'our' again) young girls?? How the hormones in both the dairy AND the meat are causing them to.....mature faster??
Have you SEEN the young women literally 'hanging out'??? And I don't mean on a street corner?? It's just frightening to think we've done this to our young people.
And if it's having this type of effect on young GIRLS....what on earth is it doing to our young BOYS??? Just b/c the effects on them would not be quite so.....visible......why would it affect the girls and not the boys?
I mean, I saw a young girl at a Wally World where we were vacationing last month and seriously....I do NOT know how she was walking upright. The rest of her body was so tiny, petite.....then her front.....oh, my. I felt SORRY for her, actually. And she was WAYYYY too young and certainly did not look affluent enough to have had any kind of....help from a plastic surgeon. She might have been all of 15/16 years old.
SOOOO.....this whole discussion came about b/c I noticed that every recipe I use has some form of dairy and/or meat in it.
BUT.....I cook at home. Exclusively. Almost.
What about the 'take out' type foods???.....they spare no expense (and pass the results on to you). They slap a slice of cheese on EVERYTHING and look at you weird when you ask for it without.
Sigh. Methinks I figured it out.
FARRRRR too much eating away from home. Sad. The average American public in general, NOT US.
SOOOOOO....I plan on revamping some of my recipes. And really concentrating on the ones I get that are new that I like to try and ONLY get the ones withOUT dairy or meat. Or at least a minimum amount.
I might even try tweaking some of the ones I've got once we get moved.....but that is not a very good option. Chef I am not. Recipe follower I am. Ask the fam. Very obedient, can follow directions VERY well.....NOT creative....at least to the point where anyone would want to eat it.
I'm pretty good at the meatless thing. Sort of grew up that way, but the dairy......WOW.
I'm just sayin'.
Any good recipes/ideas out there WITHOUT dairy/meat?? Please share on your post or point me in the right direction.
I have used Hillbilly Housewife alot......even the Healthy portion. And just lots of other recipes from other sources like All Recipes and Recipeczar online.
Lest some tell me it's an internet thing....I used to sort of collect recipe books (remember, I like to follow PATTERNS/RECIPES, even in my crafts) and SOOOO many of those are the same thing.
I will leave you with a final thought.
What did they do BEFORE 'ole Bossie came along??
AND.....cheaply. Most of the 'lifestyle/healthy eating plans' I've tried to follow??? WAYYYY too expensive/weird ingredients.
MAYBE someone should make a collection of simple/affordable/dairy-meat reduced recipes??
Until then, I remain,
Denise, Daughter of Grace (who SURE wishes her mom, Grace, would share her recipes from childhood).
Stress, cortisol, belly fat and underwear
Yes, even the underwear part.
Recently, I posted a blog entry regarding the effects that stress has on our bodies. http://www.homesteadblogger.com/daughterofgrace/137578/ or look on the sidebar here or my archives for the entry titled "Stress".
That little blurb was actually just an introductory synopsis of stress and some of the damaging effects it can have on our bodies.
Once or twice a week, I will introduce some new research and what other authors have to say about this relatively "new" phenomenon plaguing so many in this country.
It seems our "get ahead at all costs/competitive" nature.....actually a mantra taught in ALL public schools and at most workplaces in this country (and in some churches, unfortunately).....is killing us.
I would like to approach this topic from a physical/emotional/spiritual angle.
Since the study of natural health encompasses the WHOLE patient, I would like to present the facts based on all three of these factors in our lives....OR the four pillars of health: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.
All 4 factors are intricately intertwined and any one of them out of balance for a prolonged time can take a toll on our overall health.
I am writing with this in mind due to an incident I heard about the other day where one doc sent a patient to another doc to treat the 'female' problem.....then sent her back to her PCP (primary care physician) for something that, even though it affected the female problem, was NOT in the "female reproductive system". She asked there about something regarding women's health and something ELSE....and was again referred to the gynie....
Can someone please inform these.....morons.....that the very process I just described could be the SOURCE of the 'problem'......STRESS??? From dealing with being bounced around like a ping pong ball and having our bodies compartmentalized to such a degree that I feel like I need to walk around like one of those maps.....with a docs name on each body part???
Some would say 2 of the pillars, mental/emotional are the same thing....I thought so at first. However, upon further reading, I can see that if you are not taking care of your MENTAL health then your emotional health goes in the toilet, as well as the reverse. And when it comes to a scenario like described above.....PULEEEZE. Someone needs to start using a little common sense.
And one of the most inviting features of visiting a holistic/natural health practitioner is the fact that they are trained to take THE WHOLE PERSON into account for ANY type of complaint, not shuffle you off to the person who's expertise might be women's health, but who doesn't know you from a hole in the ground!
We are also trained to EDUCATE, which is so ....and I hate to use this buzz word, but it's true....empowering.
If I educate MYSELF about what is wrong with me, then I have taken a HUGE step to gaining some of hte control back in my life that probably brought me to this point in the first place. It is ALL connected.
Looking back on my life, I can SEE several prolonged periods where I literally ATE stress for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Some of these times were unwanted challenges thrown at me by others. Some were unnecessary situations brought on by ME, MYSELF and I.....and some were simply the result of an uncared for life, spinning out of control and completely out of balance.....
INSIDE.
Certainly not on the outside, as I looked to all the world and those around me like a successful, 'driven', caring, busy MOM, woman, wife, sister, Aunt and business professional. (and many other hats, of course).
I have in these past few weeks been asked the question "What on earth can I do to get rid of this belly fat?" One friend related that she just woke up one morning and there it was.
I'm sure it didn't really happen like that, but....ladies, if we are not paying attention to our bodies OR to any other part of OUR life.....it can seem like these things spring on us out of nowhere in the dead of night without warning unbenounced to us.....not so.
We are simply trained, yea, BRAINWASHED by not only today's popular media, but by even the GOOD things in our lives and ......our own 'programmed' hypersense of responsibility (if I don't do it, it won't get done) to OVER ACHIEVE.
All the parenting mags (and do NOT get me started on those), all the women's publications (and I use that term lightly), all the 'messages' we get from our parents (some of the time) to our 'bosses', to even the most seemingly innocuous syndicated comedy.....have been giving us subtle and sometimes not so subtle messages to OVER ACHIEVE.....
OR we're losers.....not worth the time. Not worth the paper the news you're reading is printed on. NOT WORTHY OF GOD.....and that, my friends, comes from some of the pulpits I've sat under in my lifetime.
And THAT my dear friend, is what causes STESS, which in turn releases too much cortisol, which in turn creates belly fat......
It is also contrary to the verse in 2 Cor. 10:12 "For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise."
In other words.......we as Christians are not supposed to be like 'the number' or the rest of the world. Those 'other people' compare themselves to people who promote themselves to be 'the best'.....they use their OWN successes to compare to where they're at OR ....they COMPARE themselves to OTHERS....and sadly, the very word of God tells us.....they are not wise.
I was taught YEARS ago that the ONLY measuring stick I am to use to judge MY successes, trials, or even life.....is JESUS. It is the ONLY 'goal' as a Christian worth attaining. I could go on and on b/c some out there are going to think I am against worldly, secular, monetary success. I am not.
God is a God of order and expects us to grow toward that same goal for our lives. He also yearns for us to do everything.....EVERYTHING in moderation (Phil 4:5) and many other verses that discuss balance.
THAT is the area I will be 'coming from' mostly in this series. I will also be focusing on women. Your husabnd is more than welcome to read along....but I plan on having 'girl talk' and if your man is uncomfortable with such, then just 'sum it up' for him and move on.
I am trying to hold myself to a personal, accountable time schedule for this, so the entries should be short and not time consuming, most of them shorter than this introduction.
Oh, and UNDERWEAR???
Yes, I really will focus on underwear as it relates to women's health.....probably at a time when you least expect it and levity is in order. Can you tell this comes from personal, very recent experience??
Till then, I remain,
Denise, Daughter of Grace (who is praying for the grace I will need to begin this moving process today)
Let's try this again.....
Yep. It's official. We are moving. AGAIN.
Except this time, I have used the word NEVER.
As in, I will NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER times infinity move back to this place.
I have always suspected it of being cursed. This house. This dwelling. This abode.
You can laugh. You can scoff. I just want to get the heck out of dodge.
I can no longer fight the evil that pervades this home. I can no longer deal with what it turns my husband, and thus myself, into (and I know you're not supposed to finish a sentence with a preposition, but this is a blog...not a college paper).
I hesitate to even mention it until we are 'in', but....hubby said it was ok, plus it sort of MAKES it have to happen, at least in my mind.
Soon, we will have room/space to exist in. We will not be on top of each other. Walls to hang pictures on. A laundry room I do not have to run a garden hose and extension cord to use. Closets. Yes, closets. The one in the MASTER SUITE the size of my current living room. Pantries in which to place things....NOT BLUE TOTES.
And....wait for it.....a DISHWASHER.
The lady who 'showed' us this place said "well, it is a dishwasher and it does work, but it looks bad inside (b/c of hard water) and it's old".....
Yeah.....well....THIS woman has had the use of a dishwasher exactly 6 months in her ENTIRE MARRIED LIFE. Whatever will I do with my spare time? And my nails/cuticles that won't be cracked and bleeding?
A breakfast 'nook' the size of my entire eat in kitchen.....PLUS a "formal dining" room on the OTHER side of the kitchen. Cupboards, not so many....what on earth is up with that???
Glad you asked, I have a theory.
NO ONE COOKS AT HOME ANYMORE.....so why have all these cupboards taking up space when you can save some of that room for a media room or....more toys?
Phew, had to get that out of my system, b/c the size of this house just does NOT match the cupboard space. However, there IS a pantry and I have this beautiful hutch from my childhood to put either in the nook or the dining room. Not a prob.
Did I say FOUR (yes, that's 4) bedrooms.....2 and 1/2 baths.....I said TWO and a HALF BATHROOMS. Let's see....for the three of us that's.....well, one bathroom a piece and the teenager gets the half, I guess.
Not really!!! He will basically have HIS own bath in the upstairs HALLWAY....to share if we have friends/family using the GUEST ROOM.....we, of course will have the biggest, nicest bathroom we've EVER had just for us. I've never SEEN a shower that size....just strange. NOT complaining, just odd. The OTHER bedroom is hardwood floor and we have claimed that for the 'office/computer room/craft room/where I 'do' college/multi purpose room'.
The florida room. Is really a screened in porch with a ceiling fan. On the back of the house facing the incredibly wonderful back yard that has GRASS (currently ours is sand and weeds), it is fenced in, so the dog can be left out there.....there are clothesline poles for hanging laundry outside.....a shed for potting plants, etc.....because there is already......
A HUGE 2 car attached garage, deep enough according to hubby, to stack things in the back and STILL get the vehicles in.
The half bathroom is just inside the door leading in from the garage. NO MORE muddy foot prints b/c someone has to use the facilities in the middle of an outdoor project.....
Which is right next to the laundry room WITH A UTILITY SINK......
The entire lot is landscaped. Beautiful trees, flowers, etc.
I think I've died and gone to heaven.
Did I mention the entry way/vestibule has ceramic tile.? And is 2 story? with incredible windows beside the front door (etched)?That the entire house has new carpet/paint (except for the living room).....and window treatments are staying....NO MORE TOWELS/SHEETS tacked onto studs at the windows!!!
And I haven't even mentioned the wonderful, peaceful, quiet setting/neighborhood this house is located in. Wooded streets, 1-2 acre lots. Not a 'bad' house for BLOCKS AND BLOCKS.....and we drove around quite a bit to make sure. I think driving out to this place will be it's own reward for my husband fighting the city traffic......
I am SOOOOOOO grateful to my very hard working husband AND to God for allowing this change in our lives.
It almost didn't happen. Like so many times before.
THIS time......well, like I told my husband. NEVER (remember the infiinity stuff) would I move back here. I will live in our RV, I will move somewhere else if pressed....but I will NEVER live in this nightmare AGAIN.
Period.
End of story.
I know that's strong words. But I honestly think God understands. His word SAYS he does.
Thanks for listening....
I promise I'll give some health info and/or spiritual application next time.
I remain,
Denise, Daughter of Grace (who is so excited about this new house, she can hardly stand it)
Pay It Forward.......
This from Hopeful Heart's blog....how cool is this.
You know the saying "what goes around, comes around"???
This reminds me of that.....more later, I'm sure.
Denise, Daughter of Grace (the mom who taught me everything I know!!!)
Anyone seen.......
They're everywhere. On my weatherbug, I think I've seen them on the sidebar on Facebook....every other ad it seems is "Obama asks moms to return to school".
Huh. Guess if he can't get anyone to cooperate with his health care plan, he'll take away the family by taking mom out of the picture....of course, under the guise of 'good'.....educate yourself, mom.....so then the gov't can COMPLETELY take over and raise your children.
Ok, it's no secret. I am going to college. But NOT b/c the 'president' TOLD me to , ASKED me to or ENCOURAGED me to.
ALSO.....and this is the important part.....
I did NOT have to apply for any gov't loan. Big brother is NOT dictating to me which classes I take or when I have to be done with them....
Is it a financial strain?? Not really. Several years ago it would have been, but now?? We're ok in that dept. and it was just TIME for me.
Which is WHEN a mom should 'go back to school'....NOT b/c some power hungry gov't official decides it's time to take all the moms out of the picture so the kiddos will be 'unsupervised' and fodder for....whatever.
I'm just afraid some of these 20 and 30 something mom's (especially the ones who's moms left THEM at home to pursue a 'career') are going to JUMP at the chance to A) get away from 'home' and do something for 'themselves'....and B) get in debt to the GOVERNMENT up to their eyeballs and literally sign away their lives.....>BUT ESPECIALLY THIER CHILDREN.
Child care, day care....all gov't sponsored b/c ......well, the gov't knows best. AND gov't sponsored child care will be cheaper.....and ~better~......no nasty pedophiles there!!! (read this tongue in cheek, please)
ALSO about my education......
I am doing this AT HOME. Where I believe I belong. Also, the degree I graduate with I will ALSO be able to utilize FROM THE HOME. Because even if all my children are out of the house OR independent.....I still have a husband to provide a home for. This place was NOT just for the children, for Pete's sake.....after all, it started OUT with just the two of us!!!
A good friend of mine actually gave me this idea of going to college at home when she told me just about everything I needed to know was online for either free or darn near it. OR at the library, thru the ILL system.
Well, what I AM doing isn't free, but my husband and I both thought "if I'm going to be doing this and spending all this time....why not be credible"??? And we COULD. Afford it.....and small son was almost 14 and at the independent learning stage. Which we as home schoolers all strive for. Certainly he needs my involvement and encouragement.....but at a much different level than when he was.....even 9 or 10.
If there are ANY mothers out there that want to know how to go to back and get their education..... TECHNICALLY ANY education......steer them here and I will tell them how to go about it.
Is it easy?? Naw. One must be fairly self motivated. Is it fast? Nope. But I CAN do it at my own pace.
I'm just really REALLY afraid the whole "$$$ for Mom to go back to school" propoganda out there is NOT just about mom getting an education and contributing to the work force.
I'm afraid it's a back door into gov't controlled child rearing. Like we don't already have enough of THAT??
I was a history major at university years ago and read about how Hitler literally turned an entire generation of children against their parents. Much of this is already being accomplished thru the Public School system (just read the history books, don't yell at me)....this, it would seem, would be the "O" administrations contribution to it.
Sigh.
You do NOT have to leave the home to gain knowledge. As most of us home schoolers know and have proven by educating our children at home.
Don't succumb to the gov't propoganda. If you want an 'education' .....then get one. But stay home and keep your children under your pervue, NOT 'big brothers'. No matter how enticing all that money looks. There is no such thing as a free lunch. And I would hate to see this generation of children as the main course!!
Denise, Daughter of Grace
What I know
Of course, like any new information regarding any type of 'disorder', I am sure it will be abused, misused and this 'glitch' will be blamed on things in marriages that are simply problems couples are not working on.
Small son has Aspergers. It is SOMETIMES genetic.
We have ALWAYS had a 'challenging, unique, colorful' marriage.
I think I know now WHY.
Asperger's Syndrome is a neurological disorder on the autism spectrum that has been recognized only since about 1994. It has many features of classical autism, but it lacks the intellectual learning disabilities. Individuals with this syndrome have difficulty with social aspects of intelligence, such as understanding what those around them think and feel. As a result, they often behave inappropriately in social situations or act in ways that appear unkind or callous. Many have difficulty planning and coping with change despite average or even exceptional intelligence in academic or intellectual areas. This manifests itself as a notable lack of "common sense." Most importantly, this disorder has profound effects on the family members and others in close contact. It is the spouses, siblings, children, and co-workers of those affected with Asperger's Syndrome that experience the emotional pain, especially when the correct diagnosis has been delayed until relatively late in adulthood. These family members are the ones we intend to help. Feelings of rejection and loneliness play a major role in the lives of the family members of an individual with Asperger’s Syndrome. Their feelings are not validated, acknowledged, or even recognized by the afflicted person.
One woman wrote:
"Is anyone listening?... We, the families with our blistered hearts and souls and damaged psyche, are the end-product of undiagnosed and untreated Asperger's Syndrome.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please pray for all the women with challenging marriages. I do not know the percentage that have spouses with AS, and I am sure some will read this and think they do.....and they don't. Sometimes it is easier to 'blame' our own choices and our own....frailties or bad character on a 'syndrome', with adults and children alike.
I guess it would be like trying to get a 9 month old infant to chew steak. "JUST EAT IT, it's so good for you". Or for an English only speaking person to travel to Greece and try to understand directions from the locals who only speak Greek....
This is how I have often felt when TRYING to get my husband to participate in a normal marriage relationship.....for years I thought he just didn't CARE. But then, there would be glimpses of his generous nature, his thoughtful side. THEN I thought he was just being cruel.
I have had this info for over a year now. It is difficult at best to share this....but if it helps ANYONE, I feel God has allowed me this information for more than my benefit.
This is a difficult time. Trying to 'reorder' thinking patterns that are ingrained. Ways of 'being' I thought were just 'normal'. Always feeling like the little child on the outside of the playground, nose pressed against the fence, wanting to play with everyone else, but just not being able to get thru the gate.
I am having to grasp the fact that our marriage and thus our LIFE will never be 'normal' by any standard. That I will have to step in and take up some slack in areas that I have always been taught by churches I was in was not the woman's area. BECAUSE of this 'belief system', I am having to pray and ask God to show me......'creative' ways of doing this, b/c not only is AS ingrained, beliefs that are almost detrimental to the way my husband is are ingrained....and challenging those are looked upon as.....almost Satanic.
I will also post a link to an organization....I have not read much info on their site, so I cannot say I endorse it 100%. Much of what is out there is COMPLETELY secular. What I find is that MOST Christians just won't admit a physiological/mental problem. Most think it is just 'lack of character' and if they do something just right, or pray hard enough, or clear up all their sin.....it will go away. Sort of like just sitting and waiting for cancer to 'disappear' without changing ANYTHING about your life......
I know. I live it. Sitting on your blessed assurance does NOT work. I believe in prayer, but then there is the practical, day to day LIFE reality. God can do anything, but he gave us all a brain to USE. With His help.
Denise, Daughter of Grace....who is just beginning to understand that grace has many, many faces.
Stress
This is for you and all the others out there interested in stress. My friend and spiritual mentor has done an intense study on the subject.
It's pretty basic and I know I used to have more stuff on it, especially the spiritual side, but....unfortunately I just wiped my old computer clean for small son to use.....and lots of that info that I 'didn't think I would ever need again'.....is gone.
Note to self and anyone who is listening....NEVER say "I will never need this INFO.....a pot, a pan, a sweater, perhaps, but INFO....save always".
Affects of Stress
“What is the stress response?
Often referred to as the "fight-or-flight" reaction, the stress response occurs automatically when you feel threatened. Your pituitary gland, located at the base of your brain, responds to a perceived threat by stepping up its release of adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH)*, which signals other glands to produce additional hormones. When the pituitary sends out a burst of ACTH, it's like an alarm system going off deep in your brain. This alarm tells your adrenal glands, situated atop your kidneys, to release a flood of stress hormones into your bloodstream. These hormones — including cortisol and adrenaline — focus your concentration, speed your reaction time, and increase your strength and agility.
How stress affects your body
After you've fought, fled or otherwise escaped your stressful situation, the levels of cortisol and adrenaline in your bloodstream decline. As a result, your heart rate and blood pressure return to normal and your digestion and metabolism resume a regular pace. But if stressful situations pile up one after another, your body has no chance to recover. Running on adrenaline is not attractive. People dominated by adrenaline are operating in crisis mode—fretting, stewing, and intolerant. People living with the adrenaline dominated person who frets, stews and is intolerant suffers from a surge of adrenaline produced from their stress in trying to deal with and cope with that individual. Their health suffers in the same way as the fretting, stewing and intolerant person’s health does. This becomes a vicious circle with each crisis feeding more adrenaline into their sytems, until ultimately, there is a break down. The break down may come in terms of burnout, accidents, relationship breakdown, actual physical disease, or emotional breakdown.
This long-term activation of the stress-response system can disrupt almost all your body's processes, increasing your risk of obesity, insomnia, digestive complaints, heart disease and depression.
Digestive system. It's common to have a stomachache or diarrhea when you're stressed. This happens because stress hormones slow the release of stomach acid and the emptying of the stomach. The same hormones also stimulate the colon, which speeds the passage of its contents. Chronic stress can also lead to continuously high levels of cortisol. This hormone can increase appetite and cause weight gain.
Immune system. Chronic stress tends to dampen your immune system, making you more susceptible to colds and other infections. Typically, your immune system responds to infection by releasing several substances that cause inflammation. In response, the adrenal glands produce cortisol, which switches off the immune and inflammatory responses once the infection is cleared. However, prolonged stress keeps your cortisol levels continuously elevated, so your immune system remains suppressed. In some cases, stress can have the opposite effect, making your immune system overactive. The result is an increased risk of autoimmune diseases, in which your immune system attacks your body's own cells. Stress can also worsen the symptoms of autoimmune diseases. For example, stress is one of the triggers for the sporadic flare-ups of symptoms in lupus.
Nervous system. If your fight-or-flight response never shuts off, stress hormones produce persistent feelings of anxiety, helplessness and impending doom. Oversensitivity to stress has been linked with severe depression, possibly because depressed people have a harder time adapting to the negative effects of cortisol. The byproducts of cortisol act as sedatives, which contribute to the overall feeling of depression. Excessive amounts of cortisol can cause sleep disturbances, loss of sex drive and loss of appetite.
Cardiovascular system. High levels of cortisol can also raise your heart rate and increase your blood pressure and blood lipid (cholesterol and triglyceride) levels. These are risk factors for both heart attacks and strokes. Cortisol levels also appear to play a role in the accumulation of abdominal fat, which gives some people an "apple" shape. People with apple body shapes have a higher risk of heart disease and diabetes than do people with "pear" body shapes, where weight is more concentrated in the hips.
Other systems. Stress worsens many skin conditions — such as psoriasis, eczema, hives and acne — and can be a trigger for asthma attacks.” --Mayo Clinic
*What is cortisol? Cortisol, an adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH), is a naturally occurring steroid hormone made by the adrenal glands, the triangular glands located on top of each kidney. It's an essential hormone for life," It acts on virtually every cell in the body. Cortisol in healthy amounts helps the body respond to stress, produce energy, regulate heart functions, normalize blood sugar and fight inflammation. Delivered in occasional short bursts, it can increase odds for survival, heighten memory and lower sensitivity to pain.
How can cortisol harm us? When chronic stress keeps cortisol levels persistently high, the hormone "switches from being a protector to being a very toxic ACID AND ACID PRODUCING substance. It can destroy tissues throughout the body, slow healing and impair memory, and it plays a role in the development of abdominal fat, which has been associated with heart disease and insulin resistance.” --N.H.T.
Natural Health Technologies: www.naturalhealthtechnologies.
Adrenal Stress Disorder
ADRENAL STRESS DISORDER
“I don’t feel well, I have so many problems, but my blood and other tests are ok. I don’t know what’s wrong.”
The adrenal glands are located over each kidney and are important for many bodily functions. They are instrumental in managing stress in the body, but it is possible for them to be overwhelmed by it.
A condition prevalent today is adrenal stress disorder (ASD), also called ‘functional hypoadrenia’. This is not a disease process as such; it is a condition in which the adrenal glands are incapable of meeting all the demands placed upon them. The adrenal glands are responsible for many functions and may thus cause a myriad of symptoms – fatigue, dizziness, joint pain, allergies, digestive disturbances, asthma, palpitations, back pain, headaches, impotence, colitis, chest pains, moodiness, mental anxiety, nervousness, mental sluggishness, shakiness, and so on.
Because most doctors are trained to think in terms of disease rather than functional problems, they do not recognize adrenal stress disorder until it becomes frank Addison’s disease or other major failure of the adrenal glands to produce hormones. When these disease processes are present, hormone medication is necessary to preserve life. Fortunately, Addison’s disease and other adrenal failures are fairly rare, whereas adrenal stress disorder is very common in our society today. It is a condition in which the body is not functioning optimally, but a disease process is not present.
Standard laboratory tests are designed to find Addison’s disease and other frank failures. The tests may not reveal adrenal stress disorder. A thorough case history in conjunction with general clinical and applied kinesiology examinations can detect adrenal stress disorder very easily when the physician considers functional disorders as well as disease processes.
The condition usually develops as a result of three factors: (1) more demand – i.e. distress in forms – placed on the adrenal glands than they are capable of handling, thus depleting their reserves; (2) dietary indiscretions; and (3) structural dysfunction causing stress within the body.
Hans Selye, M.D. researched this condition in the 1920’s and 30’s, providing the basis for our current understanding. He described the general adaptation syndrome (GAS) of adrenal stress disorder, which consists of three stages. The first stage is the alarm reaction, which is a call to arms of the body’s defensive mechanisms – provided by the adrenal glands – against stress. The alarm reaction is present during any stress, whether it is emotional, an injury, a demand to fight, or any upsetting factor.
The second stage is that of resistance which occurs when the stress tat activated the alarm stage is prolonged, the adrenal glands actually grow in size to meet the demand of the long-term stress.
Third is the exhaustion stage, during which the adrenal glands become depleted. This is the final stage of adrenal stress disorder.
Adrenal stress disorder is responsible for so many symptoms that many doctors not knowledgeable in its diagnosis and treatment have classified patients with this condition as hypochondriacs or as having “nervous” conditions, and have given them antidepressants r tranquilizer medications To better understand why there are so many symptoms, let’s look at the major classifications of hormones produced by the adrenal glands.
Adrenal Cortex
The adrenal cortex is the outside portion of the adrenal glands that produces three major types of hormones.
- Glucocorticoids are responsible for converting fats and protein for use as sugar in the body, and they release stored sugar. This activity helps prevent low blood sugar commonly causing depression, shakiness, headaches, unclear thinking, and many other problems. Glucocorticoids are also anti-inflammatory hormones that help prevent rheumatoid arthritis, colitis, duodenal or gastric ulcers, rhinitis, sinusitis, bronchitis, hay fever, asthma, chronic upper respiratory infections, skin rashes, and/or other inflammatory disorders that do not serve a useful purpose.
- Sex corticoids are the male and female hormones, testosterone and estrogen. The female hormone, estrogen, is produced by the adrenal in very small quantities compared to the production by the ovaries; however, it is thought that this hormone is important in the menopausal female.
- Mineralocorticoids play a major role in the mineral balance of the body. Minerals that are out of balance affect the body’s fluid balance, including the fluid inside and outside body cells. Blood volume is also affected. The mineralocorticoids are the body’s pro-inflammatory hormones, working with the glucocorticoids to help keep inflammatory processes in check.
Adrenal Medulla
The inside portion of the adrenal gland secretes two types of hormones. The first, epinephrine – sometimes called adrenaline – has been known for a long time; it is the hormone primarily correlating with the “fight or flight” mechanism, enabling an individual to fight stress. Epinephrine and norepinephrine from the adrenal medulla help mobilize sugar from the body’s storage and control the autonomic nervous system. Since sugar is needed by nearly all tissues of the body, and since the autonomic nervous system controls the body’s organs and glands, you can see the wide effect of the hormones from the adrenal medulla.
Along with the actions noted above, the adrenal gland plays an integral role in the delicate balance of the glandular system. It stimulates some glands and, in turn, other glands stimulate it. Failure of any gland tends to throw the entire glandular system off balance.
People inherit their glandular patterns much the same as they inherit facial characteristics and body builds. Some people inherit very strong adrenal patterns that make them capable of abusing the adrenal glands with many forms of stress or dietary indiscretions without having health problems. Others, unfortunately, inherit weak adrenal patterns, allowing the cumulative factors of stress to cause health problems rather quickly and easily. When adrenal stress disorder is diagnosed in a person, it should be suspected that because of genetics his/her children, aunts, uncles, and other relatives might have the same condition, causing some of their health problems.
What can be done about the problem?
When adrenal stress disorder is present, a person tends to consume large quantities of adrenal stimulants and carbohydrates such as sugar, starch, and alcohol. Whenever there is stimulation, depression follows, and that eventually needs more stimulation. This continuing cycle may eventually lead to addiction.
In order to rebuild the adrenals, it is necessary to withdraw from stimulants such as caffeine, cigarettes, alcohol, and sugar. Be careful – caffeine is present in many over-the-counter medicines such as aspirin compounds, cold medications, and pain-relief drugs, and sugar is added to many foods. The adrenal glands cannot rebuild when they are constantly being over-stimulated.
If the condition has been present for a long time, a rebuilding program is necessary.
Some or all of the following are necessary to bring the adrenal stress disorder under control:
Dietary change
Stress reduction
Withdrawal from stimulants
Nutritional supplementation~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have learned so much in just my first few months at natural health college. I am trying to incorporate as much of this new info as possible....but, as flylady says....even if you only do one small thing toward change, it 'blesses' your family.....and that is the principal I am trying to use to incorporate change.
I am currently in a medicinal tea phase.....it is actually what got me interested in all this stuff about.....13 years ago, when small son was REALLY small. And we were at Bible college. And we had no money and no insurance. The take away was: this stuff really works. I've held to that ever since. NOW I'm learning 'formally' and loving every minute of it.
What I have noticed is that many MANY "Christians" refuse to even pick up a book (and there is SO much available at your local library)....that even looks the tiniest bit like new age or alternative anything.....they would rather sit back on their blessed assurances and read a "Christian" romance novel that will only make their own lives look like......doo-doo.....than read something they MIGHT have to wade thru and pick out the gems within.....I pray for all these women especially, to lean on God, gain discernment and then dig in.....it IS out there. And God gave me a brain to USE.....not abuse.
Sorry I've seemed cynical today. I am praying God takes the edge off.....and I am aware of it.
Denise, Daughter of Grace
Priorities
Life has been a series of one disappointment after another, for at least the past year.
Had to move back HERE from the country, slept in a recliner for 9 months ( a 'temporary' situation that wasn't quite so temporary), took the 'storage rooms' (2 bedrooms with the wall between them knocked down, gutted out to the studs with the insulation and rafters showing, with about 20 blue totes and assorted junk in them)....from storage rooms to office/bedroom, did NOT get to buy the house out in the country that is AFFORDABLE and completely renovated to the point it looks like someone from one of the shows on HGTV got ahold of it....b/c of the downturn at hubby's job, even though we had saved almost .....well, alot of money for the down payment. But, HEY.....even tho he's back to 'on call' status....at least he's working. I am VERY grateful for that. Bought a diesel pick up to haul the RV that I was SUPPOSED to live in this summer in order to 'finish fixing the inside of the house'....
And those, my friends, are just the HIGHLIGHTS.
Did I mention the 7 weeks of whooping cough thru Dec and Jan??
On the positive side: got to visit for a week in TX at my son's and watch my incredible grandson who is only 19 months old do his alphabet, numbers.....and play with his 'grandpa', but could NOT see my daughter and her 3 girls due to a broken down to the tune of almost a gand transmission truck and work schedules....blech. Got to enroll in college to study to become a doc of natural health....only to discover less than 2 weeks AFTER I signed a contract for the next 5 years of my life that there are 'changes' occuring at the college regarding accreditation....and don't even get me started on that! Took another vacation to a little artsy fartsy town, took in some scenery....got a bracelet. Lost 30 pounds in 4 months on Sparkpeople.com and am STUCK at the same weight I would have been at if I hadn't've gained 27 pounds over the winter. But hey, got a new bed....our first in 18 years of marriage. And it feels like a pillow after sleeping in the RV
And those, my friends are the GOOD THINGS.
SOOOO....I'm not content and needed to re-prioritize. I am currently nursing a very bad back. Sciatica, which of course the MAIN cause of is.....you guessed it.....STRESS. Sigh.
I gave myself 24 hours yesterday morning to make some decisions. I always wait and pray for 24....and God showed up in a BIG way to affirm some decisions.
He led me to buy Power of a Praying Wife, The Sexy Years and The Masters' Diet......read the first chapters of all 3.....my back started to feel better.
Later this afternoon, I was debating to change my study habits from every extra minute of any day.....to 3 weeks (or 2, couldn't decide which was best)......2 or 3 weeks ON , then one week for catch up/real life. I chose 3 weeks on, 1 off, with ALL weekends bookless.....getting up at 6am and studying until small son gets up or hubby comes home or gets up, whatever the case may be or whichever comes first.
My back feels better than it has in almost a month tonight. Coincidence??? I don't think so.
It is also hotter than.....blue blazes (as my Daddy always said) in here.....85 IN THE HOUSE (did mention it has been SUCH a cool summer here we haven't installed the a/c's yet?) with a stormfront the size of Texas approaching, storm/tornado warnings all around.....but my back is better. Heat MIGHT be helping some, but......I feel a peace I haven't had in a while.
SO, this weekend is 'off the grid' to quote a fb friend.....and then back at the books Mon. morning.
I feel better. All glory and thanks to God.....whom I forgot about. But He never forgot about me.
Denise, Daughter of Grace (and VERY aware and grateful for that grace tonight)
Part 2 - Grace speech
I'm sure there are Bible verses to back up most of what these wonderful women taught me. I know for a fact that the Bible speaks of the tongue, our speech, and the way we should 'talk' to each other more times than it mentions money and the devil.....and that, my friends, is A LOT OF TIMES.
My point is two fold.
One.......we should ALL be 'thinking' more about what we say to each other, whatever the method of communication. Doesn't the Bible say to let our speech always be 'seasoned with salt'.....not cayenne or hot sauce???
AND remember this.....have you ever added TOO MUCH SALT to a stew or a soup?? VERY awful, and almost IMPOSSIBLE to remove once added.....let your mind dwell on THAT word picture for awhile.
And TWO (and this is where it gets really dicey)......who in THE WORLD do we think we are, when we make broad sweeping statements that not only OFFEND, but are gross injustices to someone else's choice, lifestyle or LIFE???? (again, NOT sin....and I'm not even going to bother getting into "what may be ok for you might be sin to me").
My Bible tells me I am to 'judge righteous judgement' (John 7:24)......NOT...."speak your mind and make YOUR way of living seem the ONLY way to the point of exclusion". What this verse says to me is "Don't take things at face value - only use what is right (like, the BIBLE) as your measuring stick.....NOT your own life.
I am NOT speaking of doctrinal issues, here people.....I am talking about serious, personal beliefs that can in NO WAY offend someone, yet they jump on that poor person on the other side of.....cyberspace or the room.....like a duck on a june bug (or ugly on a hog.....you choose)......JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT LIKE THEM.
Who do we think we are?? And I am talking to myself here, b/c I am (and am still 'reforming) and used to be the WORST for trying to tell others how to live.
MOST of the 'permission' or encouragement to do this came from......leadership. Scary. BUT IS IT BIBLE????
I am to 'carry someone else's burden'. I am to "restore". I am to exhort......and REBUKE....but how often? and in which circumstances??? And just WHO did all that rebuking in the Bible??
I have found 44 verses that involve rebuke. I did not take the time to break them down, but basically it falls like this:
GOD does most of the rebuking. Then Jesus....then leadership, then....A WRONGED INDIVIDUAL.....
Now, let's consider.....what would Biblically 'wrong' us?
Someone else's choice of lifestyle?? I think that's taking a little bit too much importance on ME and assigning certain.....choices which belong to GOD.
Enough of this righteous indignation. On to some conclusions.
I recently wrote about how responsible we are when we teach. I believe teaching to be just about anything we do.....as in example. It's how our children learn, is it not?
There are so many books, blogs, publications....that have taken 'teaching' to a whole 'nother level......to people bashing....by their insistence that THEIR way is not only the RIGHT way.....but the ONLY way.
I learned to speak with authority years ago (probably a 'mommy' thing), but to combine authority and condemnation, especially w/o all the facts.....is sin.
And to combine authority with condemnation may not always be MY 'job'.
My own personal conclusion to this is to only speak where the Bible speaks. And to be silent where the Bible is silent. That would entail me being very quiet where many personal matters of others are concerned. To only use my Bible when making authoritative statements. And I'm thinkin' that is sure going to cut down on my verboseness (probably not a real word, but it will do).
I also have a confession to make, of sorts. I have tried for far too many years to live in a pattern or a mold others made for me. This mold has become a prison.....my own choice, my own making. Many choices I and even we (my husband and I) have made over the years were due to OTHER people's influence (read: insistence to convert us to their way of thinking).
We, as a family, are stepping out on some scary waters. We are going to create our OWN life, letting God lead us. What a concept, eh?
Most of the 'changes' due to this decision are invisible, but probably the most noticeable one is that of my return to college.
I had written on this very blog within the past few months about the struggle I had in making this decision. My husband (who, btw, I SHOULD be listening to), kept telling me it was OK.....I was NOT going to be struck dead, or develop some strange disease if I decided to continue my education (after a 20 year break !!!).
Yet, I made the decision to NOT go back to school based on what other people were saying....what other groups 'think' about women who do those things....NOT what my own prayers brought out or what my husband thought.....but what OTHERS deemed as good and right in a personal issue, NOT doctrine.
Which is probably why I could get NO PEACE about this issue....until this week.
I will be enrolling in Clayton College of Natural Health this week. I will be matriculating my Bachelors and Masters and ultimately my PhD. in Naturopathy, with the goal of becoming a Practitioner with a consulting/practice.....God willing and the creek don't rise.
This is a 'distance learning' college. I will BE at home while I do this....every step of the way. I will STILL be small son's teacher. I will STILL be the keeper at home. I will STILL love God and humble myself before Him for all my needs He shall supply.
I STILL love God, I STILL think the role of the wife is to be the keeper of the home. Our life is in a constant state of flux right now, and both my husband and myself feel it will be a GOOD thing for me to have something else to concentrate on other than our situation at hand. To learn to 'give out' instead of always introspecting and feeling.....down, especially with things the way they are in this country now.
Small son is definitely well on his way to being an 'independent' learner. At this age, a homeschool mom is basically a guide and back up. In 2 more years we plan on putting him on satellite learning, making my role even less.
We cannot buy the farm we want, due to this economy and the precariousness of my husbands job. LOTS of other reasons too numerous to list here....but WE believe this is the right step for our family for now.
SOOOO......what is the 'conclusion of the whole matter'???
I will be leaning more on the Bible for my direction and less on 'help' books and what other 'groups' have as their 'beliefs'. I will be giving less advice per this blog or any other arena I write/participate in. I will be trying to complete my PhD. in 5 years or less.
Pray for us as we begin this new chapter in our lives. For wisdom, for safety and for clarity of mind in ALL matters, educational or family related.
But always......ALWAYS exercise GRACE when telling someone about WHY you believe what you do. Even and ESPECIALLY the 'personal stuff', especially as women. You might just be starting on the path of becoming responsible for someone else's life path....and I know I have enough to worry about in my OWN life, let alone someone else's. Let the Holy Spirit do the rest of the work, lest you grieve Him.
This blog will mostly be a journal of my journeys as I 'hit the books'. My eblogger will mostly be my 'craft/yarn' blog, as I will need that activity to preserve my sanity. My homeschoolblogger will be what it has always been, about small son's education (and sadly neglected, sorry to say).
Most of all I beg and PRAY that everyone and even myself.....that we THINK and PRAY before we respond and speak. God IS listening.
Denise, Daughter of Grace (who prays everyone will speak with grace)
The call for Grace speech - Part 1
As the continuing circle of life swirls around me, I've been reminded of many things. Some good. Some bad. Most what my heavenly father would 'remind' me of.
Sadly, I've been reminded of some Biblical principles at work that thwart and hold back. Angry people. False teachers.
Those 2 subjects alone would fill a book, let alone a blog post.....so I will try to be brief. (I know, no one is holding their breath on THAT one!)
And since one of the things God planted in my mind has to do with.....example and advice....I truly hesitate to go on and on about things....but feel I need to 'splain. (Spoken in Cuban accent by Ricky to Lucy).
Recently, I have become aware of an ever increasing......intolerance in some Christian circles. NOT the supposed, exaggerated "Intolerance" of every pet 'group' in our society. Intolerance to sin and the devil and all his machinations are fine, but this, dear friends, is blatant intolerance to people who do not think the same way as.....the almighty "I".
Let me insert this thought here.....WHEN is it EVER correct to behave in a patently UN-Christian like manner in order to ......persuade, for lack of a better word......OTHER CHRISTIANS into thinking like you (or me). Isn't that what they taught me in PHL 101 is 'begging the question'? Or is it just really REALLY bad 'form' for arguments sake?? Actually, what my Bible says about it is that it is JUST PLAIN SIN.
To harm, malign, or even just to state YOUR position so strongly as to HURT someone else, just for the sake of 'getting your point across???'.....what happened to "PREFER one another"?? It's in the Bible, many times. 2 passages I've looked at just this morning are Rom. 12:10 and I Tim. 5:21. One of my favoritest is in Col. 3.....but there are SOOOOO many more. The more I read the Bible, the more convinced I am that it is the Primer Extrodinaire for Relationships of ANY type. Personal, interpersonal, blah, blah, blah......
In fact, if I would read the entire chapter of Romans 12 (or Col. 3) first thing every morning, I might think think twice before venting AND hitting the send button or opening my mouth.
Now, I am well aware that "tolerance" is one of the popular buzz words of today's culture. Please understand, I am NOT using it in that venacular (meaning I want YOU to tolerate me and my views on life, but I do not have to tolerate you and your views).....THAT, my friends, is a tool of the very devil himself. I truly think there are people just sitting around re-thinking the definition of some words.....
Maybe I mean ACCEPTANCE. Isn't that what we ALL want?? To be accepted by our fellow man, especially if we share a kinship with Christ?? If we are brothers and sisters in Christ.....FAMILY?? (if I talked to my mama the way I hear other Christians "help" each other, she would have washed my mouth out with soap, spanked me and made me APOLOGIZE to the offended party).
Ah, I am far too parenthetical for my own good....sorry.
NOW, with the advent of internet, instant messaging, iphones, texting, you name the latest 'communication mode'.....it seems I can insult and spew my intolerance (or lack of acceptance of someone else's BEING) w/o thinking about it. I mean it. Without giving it any thought at ALL. I've even considered that if Satan is prince and power of the AIR...that his ability to get us to use the airwaves/whatever it is the internet travels thru for HIS purposes is a piece of cake. Mission accomplished.
UNLESS we learn SELF CONTROL.....remind me, isn't that one of the fruits of the spirit?
I started making it a rule in my own life......to literally (and I MEAN LITERALLY) wait 24 hours before responding to an email, a blog post, or even a telephone conversation, in which I took offense. Or one that I read and then I think MY life is better, my views are more important....once again, I am NOT talking about blatant sin, I am speaking of lifestyles, choices, practices that are just plain ole DIFFERENT than ours.
(Remember the 'goose step' Hitler had his minions march to? It's like we think if someone isn't goose-stepping the same way we are....they are BAD, wrong and not worth grace speaking to....)
That's TWENTY-FOUR actual hours. Like if I read it at 8 am THIS morning, I filed it, prayed about it, went on with my life and then took it back out of the little folder a full 24 hours after I had read it first......
I seriously wish there were some kind of default feature on all our computers/phones/ etc.....that made it IMPOSSIBLE to respond to an email like that b4 the 24 hour limit. Sort of like the screen that pops up to remind you that you're alREADY a member of the Betty Crocker newsletter and you cannot get the coupon for the FREE brownie delights....sigh. Only a coupon for .60 cents off....uh, yeah, happened just this morning.
My point is....the default operation that already had me email address filed WOULD NOT let me send it again.....maybe I would call it a "open mouth/insert foot" button??
But instead.....we do NOT exercise....what is it they call it in the Bible.....oh, SELF CONTROL.....and we type our little frustrations out on that poor person on the other end of the email, with absolutely NO consideration of their feelings/state of mind, etc....TOTALLY ignoring the principal behind the entire chapter of Romans 12. YEAH, one whole chapter of the good book we all say we try to live by......disappeared....like someone hit the giant delete button in the sky. Be it forum, chat, im, email group.....I just do not think most of us (me included) have a good enough handle on self control to indulge in such......people bashing. Once again, I will keep repeating it....NOT GROSS SIN or doctrinal issues, here folks......just crushing the way someone else lives in the name of Jesus and with a smile on my face.
I need to say here that internet use/email is NOT THE ONLY WAY WE OFFEND OTHERS. I do it with my mouth and what I say also. More on that later on......just didn't want all the techies to think I'm going off on only one form of communication.
I am going to stop here for today and try to be more brief in the next few installments. If you can't tell....I'm righteously angry about the treatment that Christians receive at the hands of other Christians under the guise of 'helping' them or 'straightening them out'.
This entire blog series and my conclusion is going to lead to something you are not expecting.......up to and including that.....
.....I think I need to be VERY CAREFUL lest I try to take on the role of HOLY SPIRIT in someone's life.
More tomorrow or when I get the next segment done.
Denise, Daughter of Grace (who KNOWS her speech needs to be more seasoned with just that....GRACE).
Processing......
AND I want to be clear and Biblical....for many reasons, but mostly to not offend.
Bear with me.
It might come in 2 or 3 sections and I want my scripture to be clear and concise.
Thanks.
Denise, Daughter of Grace
One more free giveaway
One thing I'm learning is that many MANY out there are already doing what I am. Not sure my voice is any different.....but I do appreciate those faithful followers and do not want them to lose hope. I will return, soon, in fact. Probably next week.
In the meantime, I was notified of another freebie type giveaway.....isn't that just the greatest phrase??? FREE coupled with GIVEaway??
Just pop on over to Penny Raine's site at
http://pennyraine.com/bookstore
for a few great free ebooks. You might need to register first, but trust me, I think her site is much needed, has great info and is beautiful to boot!!!
I've been doing much soul searching and research online about some things....some of my searching has left me a little more than confused, yet some of what I've discovered has led me (and us, as a family) to a new chapter in our lives.
Much of this change has to do with the economic situation in this country.....but some of it has to do with being WHO I AM...not someone elses' carbon copy of the perfect Christian, wife, mother, home schooler, etc. etc. etc.
NO, I have not given up on God or gone the way of feminists....but....that is for a post for next week. So, look back on Tues probably to see about my 'growth' time away from blogging.
Thanks,
Denise, Daughter of Grace
Another contest
http://www.homemaking911.com/
and leave a comment, blog about it or just let her know how much you appreciate her work. I know I do!!!
Denise, Daughter of Grace
Free Giveaway and a notice
http://teachinggoodthings.com/blog/youll-love-this-giveaway/#comment-8394
and you can register for free cd's from Vision Forum.
Here's the list (and I hope my margins cooperate today)
One of the following prizes to be given away:
*True Beauty: 8 inspiring CDs recorded at the 2008 Father and Daughter Retreat
*The 2008 Witherspoon School of Law and Public Policy: an up-to-date look at the most important constitutional battles we face, an overview of the biblical and historical foundations of Western law, and a training tool for Christians who aspire to speak with precision to the great ethical and apologetic battles of our day. This album includes 24 CDs.
*Let Freedom Ring: 13 CDs from the Philadelphia Faith and Freedom Tour
*Lights, Cameras, Action! Highlights from the 2009 Christian Filmmakers Academy
*History Has Been Made: Moments and Messages from the 2009 San Antonio Independent Christian Film Festival: Featured Speakers & Performing Artists Include: Kirk Cameron, Dean Jones, Stephen Kendrick, the Von Trapp Children, Charlie Zahm, Voddie Baucham, R.C. Sproul, Jr., Doug Phillips, George Sarris, Kevin Swanson, Chuck Bentley, Jon Erwin, and Ted Pittenger
I have an important announcement.
I am taking a "Cyber Sabbatical/hiatus" for a while.
Not sure how long.
I am FINE, finer than I've been in a while.
It is just time to clear the junk from my head.
Not sure how long it will be.
I'm thinking a week or so.
Will update later.
Thanks to all my loyal readers.
I consider you all friends who have helped me get
thru some rough times. I appreciate all of you.
I remain (until a later date)
Denise, Daughter of Grace
The responsibility of teaching
deleted it.
Sigh.
I am not as high tech as I think I am.
Meanwhile, enjoy the poem that came to my mind
yestereday
Denise, Daughter of Grace
What God Hath Promised
this poem sprang into my head.
I had this on my wall as a poster while growing up.
Thru the years of looking at it, I guess I had memorized it.
Good thoughts for today.
What God Hath Promised!
God hath not promised
Skies always blue,
Flower-strewn pathways
All our lives through;
God hath not promised
Sun without rain
Joy without sorrow,
Peace without pain.
But God hath promised
Strength for the day,
Rest for the labor,
Light for the way,
Grace for the trials,
Help from above,
Unfailing sympathy,
Undying love.
—Annie Johnson Flint
TOUGH times......
MY husband called last night and is now officially LAST on the seniority/run list. One more bump and he is back 'on call'.
I can choose to be very angry (which is my normal response to injustice) or I can rest in God and go on with what He has told me to do at this time in my life.
I was going to include some email exchanges I've had with my friend regarding teaching, but.....I think that is just not appropriate for right now.....maybe later.
I can only do one thing.....and I hope I can.
My beautiful daughter in law posted a song/video on facebook yesterday. I was on the laptop all day, as we were at co-op and could not listen to it b/c my mother never downloaded flash.
I listened this morning and it was exactly what I needed after last night's phone call from hubby.
Never too old - part Two (and a little extra thrown in just because)
Couple of things and I promise I won't belabor the point too long.
The word "WHATSOEVER" is alot like the word "WHOSOEVER".....and when we are teaching someone about "whosoever will".....it means ANYbody, right? Can come to the Lord, get saved, live a more purposeful life.
Well, then WHY don't we think WHATsoever means ANYthing??
Like housework? Like laundry? Like cleaning that grout out in the shower area with a toothbrush? Like cleaning out the garage or the attic? Like training children? Like.....well, you fill in the blank.
Hear this in a few different versions AND in both the Old Testament and the NEW Testament.
Ecc. 9:10
NIV
10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, [a] where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.
KJV
0Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.
ESV
10Whatever your hand finds to do,(A) do it with your might,[a](B) for there is no work or thought or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol, to which you are going.
CEV
0Work hard at whatever you do. You will soon go to the world of the dead, where no one works or thinks or reasons or knows anything.
Col 3:23
NIV
23Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,
KJV
23And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;
ESV
23(A) Whatever you do, work heartily,(B) as for the Lord and not for men,
CEV
23Do your work willingly, as though you were serving the Lord himself, and not just your earthly master.
I don't know about you all........but THAT is convicting to me. Whether I work in an office or teach my own child or am just 'working' around the house.......housework, gardening, ANYTHING.....
It does not say "Whatsoever ye do EXCEPT........what you don't want to today b/c you have a headache or it's 'that time' of month or you're mad at your husband or the sun is shining (or isn't) or..........need I go on?
I have NEVER been so convicted of something in my life. And it was just a few simple words in a book.
NOW.....my plan to gain CONTENTMENT??
Has to do with the WORK I need to do "as unto the Lord".
I truly believe work itself creates a type of contentment and today's society is rampant at ways to try to get you to do as little work as possible.....and I bought into that hook, line and sincker......BECAUSE I was discontent and looking for ways 'around' the whole 'work'/sin curse thing.
My friend also mentioned lately the verse I Thess 4:11 -
NIV
11Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you,
KJV
11And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;
ESV
11and to aspire(A) to live quietly, and(B) to mind your own affairs, and(C) to work with your hands, as we instructed you,
CEV
11Try your best to live quietly, to mind your own business, and to work hard, just as we taught you to do.
Her emphasis was on quiet......but I see 'to mind your own business/affairs.....and......TO WORK HARD/to work with your hands, etc.
It's right there, ladies......in the BIBLE, that I say I love and follow. Huh.
Part of my plan is to get on a schedule.....which I have been trying to avoid for .......years now. Being raised in the whole "flower power/free love/do what you want to do" generation, I seriously think I bought into that whole mind set.....and it has not only made a bad difference in my life, but has hindered my testimony, I think.
I discussed this with my husband the other day and told him I learned a while ago that if I just change one little thing at a time, then I don't stress, or lose hope....he said he thinks we both are guilty of 'biting off more than we can chew'.....and isn't that just like the world?? Always wanting MORE, MORE, MORE???
Let me give you an example. I need to change SO much, but if I look at it (much like weight loss) all in one lump, I'm going to turn around and run right back to my comfort zone of doing anything I want anytime I want.
So, this week I have been focusing on these few things....getting up early and getting dressed before 8:00.
Next week I plan on getting up earlier, getting dressed and ready for the day, READING MY BIBLE/DO DEVOTIONS BEFORE I get on this computer and THEN blogging, checking facebook, etc.
If I tried to fit in all that the first week,......well, first my body would have gone into shock and second?? I would have become discouraged.....
SO, pray with me as I change our lives or attempt to........but ONLY WITH GOD'S HELP. I spend the time in the shower as prayer time. I know that sounds silly, but my friend always called my 'ah-ha' moments from the morning my 'shower thoughts' or shower moments.....but friend, they were inspirations from God.
So, my conclusion is.......you're never too old to learn. From ANYWHERE. My friend said just the other day that God can use anyone........and anything.
Ain't that the truth.
More on 'teaching' and what it all means and it's responsibilities tomorrow.
I remain (in a much more organized fashion soon),
Denise, Daughter of Grace
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SORRY.....THE LINK WILL NOT GET YOU THERE UNLESS YOU WANT TO JOIN THAT MUSIC LISTENING GROUP......
SO I posted the song from my playlist group first on my playlist. Not the exact same solo voice, but the same message. Enjoy.
Amen and Maranatha.
Denise, Daughter of Grace
PS......PLEASE click on Stacy McDonald's/Your Sacred Calling widget here on the right and read her post "Salty Christians". I've been attempting a study on the tongue for years. Maybe I need to get going.