Dailey Bred Farm

A New Beginning

{ 09:34, Tuesday, September 2, 2008 } { 3 comments } { Link }

I am so dense. And proud. And selfish. I don't think those are the words that people who know me would usually use to describe me (I guess I'm also sneaky) but it's so true!

I have homeschooled my children all of their lives. They have only been inside a classroom when doing extra things with their dad. And I am proud of that....partly in the good way (thank you God for allowing it and giving me kids that are easy to teach) and partly in a very bad way ("Isn't it nifty of me to sacrifice my own desires to stay home?") The last two school years I have felt enormous pressure (self induced, I am now finding...thus the dense) to make sure I find and co-ordinate all of my children's school and that it isn't like anyone else's. I wanted to be seen as super mom that did all the right things while being COMPLETELY different from "the world." It was in large part about how I would appear to others! Not entirely, because I am a firm believer in schooling at home, but selfishly, I was pretty impressed with me. I like it when my friends think I'm great. How ridiculous! We have been so blessed with each other (husband and I have been together since I was in high school...another source of that good/bad pride thing) and with wonderfully healthy, smart children. We had so little to do with what God has poured on us! Yes, we made some right decisions, but we also made some very poor ones that the Lord STILL used to bless us. How can we take credit for any of that? Even looking at it all written out, and seeing the ugliness of ME, I still have to fight down the hideous pride-self monster.

The last four years have been the strangest of our lives. We have moved six times and lost our closest family friend to a hidden drug addiction. My husband, the stereotypical engineer, decided to change careers and become a middle school math teacher, necessitating three years of full time teaching while at the same time full time grad school. It cut our family income in almost half. And put us nearly $40,000 in debt. And gave me a husband who gets up and goes to his job gladly. And gives us nearly three months of true family time spaced out over the year. And brought us even closer to our children. God brought us through the yuck, to this place of refuge...for how ever long it lasts. As He always has!

All that long winded confession to say, I have changed our style of schooling completely and I feel FREEDOM from so much of that pressure I had placed on myself. I have released control of the planning of the children's school and it is a relief! Now I can help them with their studies and enjoy the time with them, and not be the one that has ultimate power. Ultimate power is a heady thing for a fallen Mom! It will be a change. It is public school curriculum, and I have always used Christian based. It will mean discussions of truth and righteousness and the way other people view the world. I has the potential to be iron sharpening iron. IF I can remember humility, unselfishness and thoughtful thankfulness.
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{ 08:42, Thursday, September 4, 2008 } { Posted by rildapeel1 }
Hallelujah it is true the truth sets one free. It is a new beginning for sure to ask and receive and then seek and find what is needed. The process is a discovery of letting go and truly letting God. [ be Lord over it all]. Confessing does a heart good and now the new creature emerges with a additude of graditude. Thanks for sharing and when we look at things closer we usually find we are our worst enemy. Have a blessed day daily knowing God is so loving and always giving. rilda ^j^

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{ 02:04, Monday, September 8, 2008 } { Posted by Asher }
Well, I'm not exactly a mom or a teacher, but I have had very similar moments in other areas.

I am excited for you. I find that, for me, these moments always breathe life to the most amazing of things.

8-)

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{ 04:00, Saturday, October 18, 2008 } { Posted by rildapeel1 }
Just wanted to say Hello and God bless You in all you do, just because YOU are worthy. Lovingly, rilda *U*

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Dailey Bred Farm

A New Beginning

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