Be Ye Separate

In Remebrance of Father's Day

{ 19:43, Sunday, June 21, 2009 } { Posted in From the Heart } { 0 comments } { Link }

Blessings!

I wrote this last year and wanted to share it again in remembrance of a father's day. Not one on a calendar but one that happens each and every day. So here it is...

Blessings!

As Father's Day fast approaches I have been pondering about the honor of a husband and father. We don't actually do much for these types of holidays but that's not really what this is about. I got to thinking about how I see many folks as a family unit. There are lots of "mainstream" families where the father is literally castrated by the wife and children. I even see parents doing the same to their sons! I find it such a sad thing to see a young boy taught to despise his own gender. Or reinforcing the idea that a husband is an inconvenience and toy. Both at the mercy of an overbearing and often merciless female. Sadly I have also seen daughters do the same to their fathers and brothers. What a state of chaos in the lives of God's children.

I got to thinking, as I my son and I were sharing a moment of gardening and work around this place. As I watch he and his wife share little stolen moments together in between work and responsibilities, I see that my husband and I have raised a good man who has chosen a good wife:)

I watch my daughters as they interact with papa and do things for him each day. Always wanting to please him and do things for him because they love him and respect his place in their lives. It warms my heart and makes God smile I am sure:)

Then I pondered further as I reflected on all the years of raising my boys. How papa was such a part of their lives. How he taught them to be men and how important their role is as a man in God's eyes, despite what the world teaches.

I began to think of all the little times that I had taken the time out to show my boys how to do something. How when they made mistakes we would "work through it" with them. When they neglected a responsibility, how we had gently reminded them and loved them and supported them as they took on the task (whatever it was) and completed it. How we saw them make mistakes that we "saw it coming" but they had to learn it on their own. When they were down on themselves for making those mistakes and feeling that they had been stupid in their choices and final decisions. How we built them up and let them know that we are all human and we all make mistakes and the most important thing is the love of a family who lives before God who will stand beside them and encourage them and support them until they "get it right".

Yesterday while we were out doing our auction stuff we sat behind a family. A wife, husband the three sons all in a row. Each time the man opened his mouth his wife would talk over the top of him and make remarks about his intelligence or choices. He went down to the kitchen and bought his boys a little snack and each a drink, and he brought her back something as well. Once the boys were settled in he gave her what he had bought for her and she complained bitterly about what he had done. That the boys were undeserving and they could have shared instead of had something individually. She complained about the pop being too icey and the snack he brought her wasn't her favorite. Not one thank you, not one pat on the arm or kind word. And later on when one of them made a mistake she was right there to let him know it was alright that things would get better.

I often wonder what women think when they are consoling their sons and helping them through the bad times but ignoring their own husbands when THEY make mistakes and go through bad times? I see it often and it saddens me.

Husbands have such a burden placed upon them and sometimes we think we should take everything else on to lighten their load but we forget to comfort and encourage. We can tend to get bitter about it without realizing that they didn't "give" it to us, we simply "took" it thinking that somehow that was helping rather than supporting him and encouraging him and letting him know that even though it seems overwhelming now, he is more than capable of fixing it of making it better and we will wait patiently and supportively until it turns around.

I always make sure that my husband knows that even when he makes mistakes that things will get better. That he's only humand and these things happen. That even if his choice WAS one that I might not have made, we will weather it out together and come out of it united. I want to encourage him like I encourage my sons. Letting him know that it will turn out one way or the other. I let him know that I recognize his attempt to do what he felt was right for us as a family or a couple or even for himself alone.

I just wanted to encourage each of you to recognize your husbands weaknesses and strengths. Encourage him no matter what he is doing or has done. Let him know that side by side you can get through anything. That his place in your life and the lives of your children is important and even if he makes mistakes you all love him and want to help him in any way possible even if it's just making sure his supper is on the table at the same time every day, or making sure his socks are matched up to save him a minutes time in the morning when he gets ready for work:)

I am so very blessed to have let go of a part of myself that was such a hindrance in my relationship with my sweet husband. Over the years I have not only come to appreciate and honor my husband in his role as husband and father, I have also come to appreciate and honor my own role as mother and wife:)

I pray that each of us is able to find that sweet place the Lord has given us as women:)

God be with thee!

Sister Lori

Blessed Resurection Day!

{ 10:06, Wednesday, April 15, 2009 } { Posted in From the Heart } { 1 comments } { Link }

Blessings!

Well, this Sabbath was so special. Of course, because it is the calendar anniversary of the Resurrection of our Risen Lord, but made even more special for us this year because we were able to join our Mennonite Fellowship! It was a wonderful surprise from my very sweet husband:) He had apparently arranged for us to go and sprung it on us on Saturday evening:) I didn't realize how very much I have missed the Brethren. And they were so glad to have us back:) In fact, Brother Craig says we can go at LEAST once a month! Oh my heart was filled with a fulfilled prayerful joy:)

We attended the Sonrise service at the Wildlife Safari. It was so wonderful:) God was surely present amongst us:) With the several different churches in the area attending we had nearly 200 folks show. It was the largest crowd we have ever seen there and the voices lifted in praises and song for our Lord was awe inspiring:)

During our last hymn, He Is Lord, the animals all around us began to chime. It was amazing! Yet another reminder that Our God Reigns! From the wild turkeys and Ostrich to the elephants and monkeys. Then the lions. The lions began in a low rumble and began shouting in that huffing roar they do when they are talking back and forth as if to say "HE IS LORD"! Most of us cried:P

We had been blessed further by being able to bring our daughter-in-love Kristina and our perfect granddaughter Little Miss Shea with us:) Matthew hadn't been feeling well enough to go with us so we left him at their apartment to get his rest. He wanted to come over for supper and felt that if he rested long enough he would feel up to it.

This gave us the chance to introduce our granddaughter to all the Brethren. They prayed a blessing over her, we sang, we read the Gospel and each shared something special:) In our fellowship we don't have musical instruments very often. We don't forbid them at all, we just don't have anyone that can play the piano well, so we just don't use it (unless we have a visitor that can):). So our songs are sung in 4 part harmony, the childrens voices and the adults united in praises to our Lord. It's so sweet to the soul:)

Instead of our usual service we have a special service that asks for each of us to share something (anything) that has touched us in some way. It can be a song, a poem, scripture reading, testimony etc. The children did a skit about the empty tomb.

Our services always include a lesson for the children. Some churches send their children out for "childrens church" but we don't believe in separating for services. Fellowship should include all family members, children need to learn to sit still and to listen and yet they need to learn and interact in their age of understanding. Soooo, they all go up front of the body (the body of believers) and sit to hear a lesson from one of the Sisters. It's amazing how much even the adults learn and remember from listening:) They will hear something written from the bible and the reader makes it interesting and explains the big words so they understand it more clearly. There is no interpreting done as we don't believe that interpretation is necessary for the Bible, it's most important to know what it says not what we think it means:) I dont' know if I'm making sense as I'm not quite sure how to explain it, but I think you understand:)

We had a wonderful carry-in before service began. It is always after the Sonrise service:) Always a time to share and fellowship, sing songs (yes we sing a lot:P), eat wonderful food and share receipts and homemaking tips:) The menfolk talk, tell their silly jokes, eat LOTS and sing:)

The most wonderful part of being able to fellowship with our Brethren, is the conversations that you can hear throughout. It's so wonderful. Not a single put-down or sour word about a spouse, child, parent or sibling. It's inspiring and encouraging to hear such beautiful words being said about each other. Lovely to hear that a brother adores how his wife darns his socks, another loves how his wife sews for the children, another delights in his wifes humming or singing a ditty while doing her chores:) And the wives! They share how their husband does a task here and there, how sweet her husband was when he brought her a pack of pansies for her windowbox, another how he surprised her with a fixed appliance and me, sharing how my wonderful husband, in all his pain and illness, thought to be sure we could attend the Sonrise service and how he had made the dish to share at the carry-in (I didn't even know he made it!):) The children telling how ma'am or daat did something sweet, caring, loving and surprising:) Truly filled my heart with joy unspeakable:)

After service we were able to catch up a bit more with the Brethren, and they got the chance to get to know our sweet Little Miss Shea:) She was passed around like a bag of sugar...sweet and gentle:)

We drove back to drop Kristina and Little Miss Shea off so they could help Matthew get ready to come over for the evening. Kristina came down to ask me if I would come up and look at Matthew's rash as he had thought he was having an allergic reaction to his cough medicine. Papa and I went upstairs to take a look. It took one look to see that he had MEASLES! Poor feller:( He was miserable and itchy. I'm afraid I giggled just a little and then he did his famous pouty face:s The one that tugs on my heartstrings every time:) I hugged him and told him that it was too late to do anything about it and it would run it's course. He was going to be uncomfortable but it would pass. He asked about Little Miss Shea catching it but Papa let him know that it was already too late to worry about that since the exposure had already happened. We let him know that if he decided he didn't want to come over it was just fine with us and we could have our meal another time. He insisted her really wanted to come home so we bundled him up and brought him home:)

After a wonderful meal with lots of wonderful foods and treats, he spiked a fever and we thought it best if they just spent the night. We could then take care of him (and anyone else who might be getting this illness). We gave him medicine for the fever and some benedryl for his itching. We stayed up a little longer but I just couldn't keep my eyes open (I was falling asleep standing up at the counter typing on the computer:P). We got to bed and I think we all fell asleep instantly:)

This morning we visited the doctor. He waited in the car until they called for him. Being measles they wouldn't let him in the office so they brought him in through the backdoor to the isolation room to look him over. Sure enough we were right:) At least they think so. The CDC has to be contacted and a report filed. Apparently Measles is such a concern in the U.S. that it has to go through all the right channels for reporting and documenting.

We had noon meal and Matthew said he wanted to go home to his own bed. We tried to talk him into just one more day but he really just wanted his own bed. Understandable as I truly just like to be in my own bed when I'm not feeling well. Miss Sarah went with them to help out for the next few days. We will pick her up on Wednesday evening since Brother Craig has an interview near there that late afternoon:)

Thursday morning we leave for Madras just over the Cascades. We will be spending the three days at the Horse Drawn Auction. I have wanted to go for the last 6 years but always it's been so early in the year that the pass is closed due to snow. (they have to close the passes as it gets far too deep to plow) Anyway, we are excited:) Of course, we can't afford (nor do we have space or use for it yet) any of this yet but we like to gather as much information as possible. One day we would like to farm this way so we keep taking advantage of all the opportunities to learn:)

Have a very blessed and God filled week!

God be with thee!

Sister Lori

Did I Say That?

{ 01:00, Wednesday, February 18, 2009 } { Posted in From the Heart } { 4 comments } { Link }

Blessings!

Over this past week, I have pondered something that has concerned me greatly and earlier today, my fear was confirmed. About a week ago I left a comment on a very dear sisters blog. A few days later I noticed that not only had she deleted the post that I had commented on (which included my comment) but she also did not respond to a personal message I had sent. I wrote her again and earlier today she confirmed what I had feared most. I had insulted her! She was gracious and very sweet about it and let me know she forgave me for which I am eternally grateful, but this has caused me to ponder even harder, which leads me to share how I feel about the internet.

I enjoy blogging. I enjoy other folks blogs. I enjoy meeting other like minded folks and developing friendships with them. I NEVER would want to harm anothers heart with a comment or response. And yet, I did! In fact, it's not the first time that a misunderstanding has occurred through these online relationships. And I know it won't be the last.

Without body language, facial expressions and vocal inflection, it's nearly impossible to know exactly what a person is trying to say. I've never been very good at "hinting" so I tend to state things blatantly. Often (even in person) it can come across as being mean or misunderstood entirely. It only manages to confirm my fears about this online lifestyle that without those "in person" moments, friendships can be harmed, hearts broken and feelings terribly hurt. All because it didn't come across in the way it was intended.

It is NEVER my intent to harm someone. I NEVER want to come across as being rude or insensitive or just plain mean. Yet it seems I do at times and sometimes the person who felt hurt won't accept an appology or accept that it was simply a misunderstanding. This leaves hurt feelings on both sides and can end what one had hoped was a strong relationship.

My advice? Make SURE that someone hasn't misunderstood. I am thankful that the Lord had encouraged me to continue to try to contact this sister until she finally answered my inquiry. It turned out that she HAD misunderstood me and she admitted that my written words had hurt her feelings. I let her know how sorry I was if I had made her feel hurt and asked her to forgive me which she did!

Folks...remember that this online world is not the same as your next door neighbor or church family. It's filled with many good folks but it's also filled with those that would deceive you as to who they REALLY are and what they are REALLY like. It's NOT an alternative to live relationships. It's simply an extension of lives that are reaching out to each of us from time to time. Folks we meet and one day are gone, never to be heard from again.

For those of us who are what we say we are, I encourage you to pay close attention to what you say to others in your comments. Likewise, be careful of how you read what others are writing to you. Words can be deceiving and not just lies but rather lacking visual emotion and therefore can be misunderstood. If not for paying attention and noticing that things had changed a little, I might not have noticed that I had hurt someones feelings completely unintentionally.

I let her know how sorry I was, I beg her to let me know EVERY time she thinks I might have said something that hurt her feelings to give me the chance to explain myself better and therefore save the hurt feelings. I want YOU all to do the same. If I EVER make you feel that I have been hurtful in any way please please please let me know so that I have the opportunity to explain better. Just as I always let other know when I am not sure if they mean to be rude or angry or if I might have misunderstood something they wrote.

Thank you dear sister for forgiving me my clumsy words. I will try harder to make my thoughts more clear so that another misunderstanding is avoided. But if I fail that, don't hesitate to let me know because I would never want to hurt anyone deliberately.

God be with thee!

Sister Lori

A Word By Any Other Name...

{ 09:58, Saturday, February 14, 2009 } { Posted in From the Heart } { 2 comments } { Link }

Blessings!

Do any of these words sound familiar? Freakin', Friggin', dang, crap, dork...??? There are more but this will suffice for my point:)

I hear these words all the time. In fact, I've been known to USE a couple of them from time to time. You don't think anything about it, they are just words that express your emotion a the time and nothing more..."Not like I'm cussing or anything". Or am I? Are YOU?

My girls, husband and I have had these conversations before and though we agree with our findings we still tend to fall back into using them now and then. Each time we remind each other that we should choose a differen't word or better yet...a different attitude:)

You see the bible says "A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh." Luke 6:45

We all know that these words are "substitutes" for the worse. After all, it could always be worse right? Wrong! You can give it any name or use any word you want and if you are simply substituting you aren't really avoiding the real issue at all. When you use those words you are angry, aghast, even joking around but your heart doesn't change with them. Your heart is angry, aghast, joking crassly etc. By the way, a crass joke doesn't have to be a dirty one, it simply needs to have words that might be substitutes for worse words. Make sense?

Have you ever looked up the meaning of some of them? We all know, deep down, what frigging and freakin stand for. No brainer there:P But did you know that "dork" is actually a slang word used for an apendage? So next time you call one of your children a "dork" teasing them, you might want to reconsidering using something else:P

Now don't get me wrong, I make this mistake too. Although I don't use that d word anymore after my precious son pointed out the meaning of it (he looks those things up:P) but I do use some others now and then. Does the worse word enter my head? No! But the word I DO use is still from my heart that is filled with anger or frustration or any other number of emotions and that's what makes it a "bad word".

Oh that language wasn't so complicated. Wouldn't it be great if there was just one word to mean one thing? No other uses for it but what it is? There was a time when that was true. Makes me look forward to that time when all of this earthly stuff will pass away and I can sit at Jesus feet and just hear Him go on and on and on.

So, what words will YOU use today? I think I'm going to go do some searching in my dictionary and thesaurus with Miss Sarah today. I wonder what else I say that has a meaning I should be aware of?

Have a very blessed day!

God be with thee!

Sister Lori

Shock and Awe!

{ 20:46, Tuesday, February 3, 2009 } { Posted in From the Heart } { 5 comments } { Link }

Blessings!

As you all know, we've been having quite the week. Brother Craig's surgery, all the mistakes at the hospital, driving back and forth every day, etc. We would get up at 6am eat breakfast, throw everything into the sink or leave it on the counter/table and run out the door, get home around 10-11pm, eat something quickly or having picked something up at a drive-thru ont he way home, tossing that onto the trunk in the front room, table/counter or even the floor, grabbing clothing out of the dryer (if we managed to even WASH something) leaving the rest of it piled on the sofa and falling into bed only to repeat it the next day. 5 days of this and you know what happens to your house? Let's just say, it's nothing that a flame thrower and a 4 inch fire hose won't cure :D

Yesterday, I went to the hospital alone leaving my girls at home to TRY and make a dent in the mess. Literally, this place hadn't been touched by human hands for 5 days! It looked like we would be bringing Brother Craig home the next day so I thought they could at least get the dishes done and clothing folded. I dared not hope for more.

Last night I came home at 10:30pm and to say I was in shock is an understatment. The girls were standing at the door smiling. They ushered me into the most amazingly clean room! Then they spilled the beans. All of them:P

You see, yesterday morning my friend mentioned something in a message on the computer that they were going to come over and help pick up. I figured to come home to done dishes and folded clothing, maybe swept floors:) After all, she has a family of her own and taking care of her aging grandmother certainly fills her days up with enough to do without putting herself out on me.

According to my girls, she showed up with her husband and her children and "they came, they saw and they conquered"!!! They "power cleaned" the place. I walked into not only clean frontrooms but it actually echoed in here! Echoed! All the "stuff" that had been piled in here had deadened the sound so much that I hadn't realized how bad it really was! Now it sounded so empty!:) As I wandered through the rooms, the kitchen was my next shocker. The dishes were done, floors swept, counters cleared and scrubbed, table clean. And if that wasn't enough, her husband had replaced the hoses and fixed the portable dishwasher! Amazed doesn't express it.

I walked into the bathroom and wow! As I understand it, 11 year old Emily and 9 year old Charlotte had cleaned it! It was absolutely wonderful! And it smelled so good:) The floor, toilet, tub, sink...everything!

I went into the frontroom, sat in my husbands recliner rocker and cried! I was overwhelmed! It was certainly more than I ever expected. What had I dont to deserve such wonderful friends that they would do this for us? After sitting and saying a prayer of thanks, drinking a nice glass of iced water and phoning Brother Craig to let him know I had gotten home safely, I told the girls I was exhausted and was going to bed.

I walked into my room and my bed was made up fresh, and if that wasn't enough, my jammies were all laid out for me! All I had to do was put my jammies on and fall into bed:) Of course, I cried a little more:P

This morning I woke up, enjoyed a cup of coffee with the girls, we chatted, the girls cleaned out the car and I waited for the call to tell me whether he would be coming home. The call came in, the girls helped me get into the car and off I went while they stayed home to make sure the little things from that morning were cleaned up and done before I brought Brother Craig home:)

I finally got Brother Craig home and he was so thrilled with the way the house looked. He has been resting and relaxing in his chair (he can recline in that without putting too much pressure on his ribs), napping and just enjoying being home. But that's another post:)

I just wanted to say that CaraDD, here on the blogger is one of the dearest friends I've ever had. She is the most selfless, giving and compassionate person I've ever known. Surely God has blessed me:) Her family lives what they believe, giving of themselves, sharing their time, and loving others as He loves them:)

CaraDD, hug your family for us. You and your family have blessed me beyond measure and I am so very undeserving. Thank you for being my friend, my Sister in Christ. Olive Juice!

Have a very blessed and God filled week!

God be with thee!

Sister Lori

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