Be Ye Separate

Working Mom's ?

Blessings!

   I  had a conversation with an old friend the other day who, though she didn't like our conversion to Mennonite, she remained supportive and close. Anyway, she has raised (?) 2 children. She has always worked outside the home. Her oldest is married with children and her youngest is nearly grown. I've known them since they were born and I've always been their Auntie:P Anyway, she phones me now and then and we always have a very long conversation. Well, the conversation is usually several hours so it's probably a good thing she only phones once every few months:P But we keep in contact through email too so we are never to far away in times of need:) But I digress...

   This time the conversation turned to "Working Moms". I listened...as is usually the case:P and she expounded upon the virtues of the "working mother". How tough she has had it over the years being a working mother. All those weekends she had to endure putting up with outings for the children while it was really her only time to rest. Putting up with babysitters and changing them because they did something she didn't like or they quit to raise their own families etc. All those extra curricular activities that took up so much of her free time and how she had to fit in her favorite soap operas that she had taped while working, making sure children had appointments made so the babysitter could take them, then having to deal with meals and all those times when her order was wrong (she never cooks at home) etc. etc. etc.

   I sat here, listening, nodding, letting her know with little grunts and Uh huh's that I was here and hearing what she was saying...then she said it...the ultimate...the one thing that over the years has always been something I laughed at but this time it finally was IT! Now I didn't get mad mind you but I'm afraid my sympathy for her was somewhat lacking...she said...and I quote..."YOU ARE SO LUCKY YOU AREN'T A WORKING MOTHER!"!!!!!!!!grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

   At first I said nothing. She was quiet. Then she says..."are you there?" I said a quick prayer, cleared my throat and said, "Well, let me see...You have never really had to worry about money issues because you've  always had it. You have always gone off to go skiing, boating, camping, travelling to other countrys just because you felt like it. You have managed to order your meals out for the last 25 years without having to do more than wipe the DUST of your kitchen counters! I can't even rememer the last time that you actualy used that new dishwasher you installed 15 years ago! With the exception of putting your vases through it now and then to get rid of the spots! And let's not mention the disposable diapers, nanny service so you could watch television, take a bath alone, go shopping for another pair of shoes to go with the other boxes of shoes you've never worn that still have tags on them and wet nurses so you could go do all that. And while we're on the subject, how's your housekeeper? Is she still with you or have you replaced her yet? Let me tell you about MY non working status...

   I get up in the morning and milk goats, make breakfast, clean up after that, trim feet on all animals, gather eggs, feed all the animals, clean pens, sew our clothing, do the mending, the laundry, the dishes (because we don't have a dishwasher). The we turn our hands to the garden, weeding, pruning, picking, harvesting, canning, preparing extras for market and that list goes on.

   I sewed, washed, mended and folded cloth diapers. Not for 2 children but for 6 of them! I pinch pennies, I clip coupons, I make menus for three months at a time. I make sure my husband is comfortable, fed, and has clean clothes and a clean bed to fall into at night.

   My girls help me with most of all this and STILL there are things to do. And television? We don't have one! Why? Besides the fact that there is NOTHING on and we have an aversion to allowing that tripe into our home, I wouldn't have the time!

   My "free time" is spent enjoying my children and husband. We play games together, we eat together, we talk together. We pray together and play together.

   I'm not complaining...I LOVE my life. I LOVE what I get to do and how I get to do it. I LOVE having bills to pay because it means we have electricity in our home, water to run our washer and to cook with, a phone so I can spend time gabbing with a dear friend for hours, food in the house, a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs and warm beds to sleep in.

   I love you very much. You are one of my dearest friends...but PLEASE don't tell me I'm NOT A WORKING MOTHER!

   She was very quiet. I sighed heavily and asked the Lord to be sure that it' what I was really supposed to say and that I didn't say something I wasn't supposed to. She still said nothing. I asked her if she was still there and she cleared her throat and said..."Okay I won't tell you that you aren't a working mother. But try being in MY shoes for a week...you'd never make it". I laughed and said..."Try MY shoes..." I couldn't finish...we were both laughing too hard:P

   After hanging up, I realized that I am one of the most blessed women on this earth. I work hard at a job I adore. I work with people I would die for and I know they would die for me. I share my heart with people that won't judge me and love me the way the Good Lord made me and encourage me when I'm down. I get to hear the most heartfelt moments from them and I get to encourage them when THEY feel low. I get to set a meal on our table and see how much my family enjoys it. I get to stand side by side with my beautiful coworkers as they are learning to provide these comforts as well:)

   I get to love and get to BE loved. I have a shoulder to lean on and I get to let them lean on me:) I get to teach my loved ones skills that will see them through anything from need to boredom:P And at the end of my day, I have something to show for it!

  So the next time someone tells you that you're lucky you're not a working mother...kick them right in the shins and walk away:P I'm just kidding, of course:P Just know that we work just as much if not more. The biggest difference is the blessed feeling of satisfaction of a job well done:)

God be with thee!

Sister Lori

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{ 14:00, Wednesday, January 30, 2008 } { Posted by rildapeel1 }

Living to survive or thrive. Blessed or cursed? How wonderful of a gift we have of knowing God's will and allowing Him to cover us with His all. We see it in our own way of thinking. Yes Blessed are thee who knows and serves Our Lord to the fullest. It makes us rich and adds NO sorrow. Lovingly, rilda

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{ 14:01, Wednesday, January 30, 2008 } { Posted by Lorraine }

Amen Sister Lori. Like you, I wouldn't trade my "job" for anything. Yes...I'm "just" a housewife. But I'm where my Lord wants me to be - a helpmeet to my husband, a Godly example to my children & grandchildren, the keeper of my home. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Compared to Eternity, our time on this earth is so short. We have a few short years to be the "helpmeet"; a few short years with our precious children - barely enough time to equip them for all they will have to face in life. Why would we want to lose that time by spending it away from those we love.

The ways of the world are not our ways. We should want no part of it. We should all be doing our best to Be Seperate.

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{ 14:11, Wednesday, January 30, 2008 } { Posted by Joanne }

It's good that you were able to say what you did without offending your friend. I am afraid that I would not have been so nice. I have so little patience for those who think stay at home moms have it easier. We all work hard, just at different types of work! Fortunately, most of the mom's that have commented to me about being a SAHM have been saying, "I don't think I could do what you do!" It's sad in some ways because some are referring to staying home all day with their kids.
Joanne

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{ 14:21, Wednesday, January 30, 2008 } { Posted by schatzila }

Wow...what a interesting post...I thank you for sharing...it makes me so proud to be a SAHM...I have moments where I would like a bit of the "other woman's life", but only for a moment:-)

I too am a very blessed mom and wife.

Blessings,

Connie

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{ 14:42, Wednesday, January 30, 2008 } { Posted by homesteadinthemaking }

Very well said, sister Lori. I too, love my SAHM job!!
Blessings,
Trixi

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{ 15:41, Wednesday, January 30, 2008 } { Posted by Kitty }

Can you hear it, can you hear me clapping my hands together for you? LOL LOL good job. I love the part where you said, "I said a quick prayer". This is something I do everytime I have to talk to my mother in law or sister in law, LOL. good job.........Kitty

Amen

{ 23:54, Wednesday, January 30, 2008 } { Posted by fcusick }

I have been in both places and I prefer being a stay at home, hard working momma!!

AMEN...AMEN...AMEN...

{ 09:56, Thursday, January 31, 2008 } { Posted by specialmom42000 }

I just LOVED your response! It really irks me to no end when people assume that SAHM's are "deadbeats" who do nothing but watch soap operas and eat bonbons all day.

Being a full time mom is HARD work. I love my summers...they are the most rewarding time. I am a teacher during the school year...I love my job as a teacher in the school...1. I can see the learning taking place, 2. I have the same schedule as my dh and children. BUT nothing compares to the job of a sah mother. It is the most fullfilling, rewarding job a woman could ever have.

I take that role seriously...I am up early to feed my family, and help with barn chores,...I start our evening meal...so it is just about ready when we are at home, and I do all the other wife/mom things too...then I go to school, teach, come home and do more mom and wife things...and I love it!

Kudos to you for stating your mind...
Blessings...kelly

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{ 14:36, Thursday, January 31, 2008 } { Posted by Citygal }

I LOVED reading this - bought a smile to my face and motivated me to go and do my 2 weekly menu that I've been putting off. You help put it all into the right perspective. Thanks for sharing this.
Rachel from New Zealand

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{ 14:45, Thursday, January 31, 2008 } { Posted by maa }

Great post. I am glad you told her.
maa's mom

Love it!

{ 15:51, Thursday, January 31, 2008 } { Posted by HSBFrontPorch }

This is a great post ... you should put a permanent link to it in the sidebar :-)

Kris Price
Senior Editor, HomesteadBlogger.com