Be Ye Separate

Reverse psychology? Or just disobedience?

Blessings!

   I have had a ponder over these last few weeks with our grandsons. It began as I was talking to my mother about her "techniques" in dealing with the oldest one from time to time. Although I tried to explain my opinion and belief about it all I think I only managed to offend her. The Good Lord will take care of that part:)

   I have seen many times in my parenting life, other parents who try the "reverse psychology" technique with their children. Having always been very straightforward with my children (even before I was saved) I never understood the need to "trick" a child into obedience. In fact, I have always seen that trick as teaching the child to disobey instead!

   For instance...and this seems innocent enough...you want a kiss or hug from baby, baby doesn't comply right away so you turn your head or lift your hand and say, "No, don't kiss (hug) me." and of course the game begins and baby wants to hug and kiss. An innocent game but what is it really teaching and is that really innocent? The child has learned to do exactly what you told him/her not to do!

   Just as I have seen folks do with their teenagers. They say that teenagers desire to do the opposite of what they are told because they are rebellious at heart (aren't we all?) and they are trying to become independent. So you tell them one thing and expect another...you both win...the child thinks that he/she's won because they got their way but in fact you got what you wanted! Hmmmm...sounds like disobedience to me!

   How about lies? My mother believes that if you teach a child to tell you right off that what they are about to say is a story then it's not a lie because they didn't try to tell you something that wasn't true. However, a lie is a lie no matter how forwarned you are! And by encouraging that, is it not encouraging the child to lie?

Ephesians 4:25 Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.

Isaiah 30:9 That this is a rebellious people, lying children, children that will not hear the law of the LORD:

Proverbs 12:22 Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.

Colossians 3:6 For which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience:

Zephaniah 3:2 She obeyed not the voice; she received not correction; she trusted not in the LORD; she drew not near to her God.

Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

   It is not my intention to take anything out of context, mind you, but it all rings true in any situation. The Lord abhores disobedience and lies. He rewards truth and obedience. God is so faithful to us, isn't it more important to teach a child to be truthful and obedient than it is to get a kiss?

   Just my ponder:)

God be with thee!

Sister Lori

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{ 12:11, Wednesday, August 15, 2007 } { Posted by Jonash2004 }

LOL, my dh and I have issues with 'psychology' - let alone REVERSE psychology. :)

My mom also, believes that lying is Biblically justified - but of course can't quote any Scripture to back it up. Situational ethics, I believe it's called. Would you lie for a $100? For a million? To save a loved one from dying of cancer? Ha! Gotcha.

I detest that kind of thing.

Now, anyway. I used to be so good at lying to someone's face, only to get them to believe ridiculous things and bust up laughing and make fun of them.

What a lovely person I used to be . . . .

I enjoyed reading your thoughts on this!

Ashley

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{ 12:52, Wednesday, August 15, 2007 } { Posted by gokings13 }

satan is not stupid.
just defeated.
ANYTHING that doesn't align with Scripture, isn't Biblical, therefore is NOT of God.

That is so simplistic, yet people justify away!!
Laura

Wow...thanks for the perspective

{ 09:49, Thursday, August 16, 2007 } { Posted by Joanne }

What a great post...I had never thought of it in that perspective. You are *so* right! We are just teaching our children to "disobey" and condoning a rebellious spirit when we use reverse psychology!
Joanne

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{ 12:44, Thursday, August 16, 2007 } { Posted by Laura }

I agree with you on that subject. I have always been upfront with my kids and I expect them to be with me. I detest a liar . I believe a lie is a lie no matter how small or how big. I have enjoyed reading your post . Hope you and yours have a blessed day.
Laura

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{ 21:08, Saturday, August 18, 2007 } { Posted by meme21713 }

Great post...the things some do to get little ones to obey and then when they get older the tricks have to get larger...Go figure....Thanks for the great post...Debbie