A Plain Country Homestead

A loaded question, I know

What says "homestead" to you?  What kind of people make you instantly think "homesteader"?  What activities bring thoughts of "homesteading" to your mind and heart?

Homestead, homesteader, homesteading:  home·stead n.

• 1. A house, especially a farmhouse, with adjoining buildings and land.
• 2. Law Property designated by a householder as the householder's home and protected by law from forced sale to meet debts.
• 3. Land claimed by a settler or squatter, especially under the Homestead Act.
• 4. The place where one's home is.

To me, when I hear homestead/homesteader/homesteading I instantly think pioneers.  Too many years of television warping my mind I suppose.  I think of the strength of our ancestors who settled land, either themselves or for others as slaves or share farmers.  I think of all the hard work that went into simply existing day to day bak when the world was still developing and growing.  I think of the fathers, many torn from their families in times of war and conflict, standing for what they deeply believed in and willing to stand behind those beliefs with their own lives if need be.  I think of the mothers left for long times on the homestead, sometimes isolated from neighbors, sometimes lonely in the middle of a growing town, but maintaining the faith and strength of the family, waiting on her man to return.

I think of the children.  Strong children raised out of strong parents with stong faith and beliefs in God.  They did not enter into the hardship of pioneer life without faith.  It simply wasn't done back in those days.  There wasn't a 'movement' persay, but it was understood that their faith is what made them who and what they were.  Church was just a part of everyday life, as was the Bible.  That may be the only book they carried with them.  It held family histories, some from this country, most from their 'mother countries.'  The children themselves often carried names of distant kin, some dead and passed, some still alive waiting money to make the journey to a new world and new life.

I think ofthe homesteads...I know they were often not much really, but they were fought-for and special, no matter what size or condition.  Ideally, I envision a nice white farmhouse, not large in size, but practical for a large, growing family.  A barn or two, fenced pens for the assorted animals, at least one good sized garden plot, maybe even more spread out on the land around the home and barn.  A small pond nearby for stock water and maybe a picnic and fishing from time to time.  A larger home, more settled and longer in existence, shows a growing orchard, too.

I think of simple, filling lunches (what were they then?  'dinner' was lunch, 'supper' was the evening meal?)  I see a table with good food, though smaller in portion than what some are used to today.  There is an assortment of fresh vegetables, maybe a jar of jam or a bit of honey if company were joining.  A bit of meat and potatoes, and fresh bread....I can smell the ktichen work of the day!

I see a clothesline that rivals even the largest I've seen myself.  I see homespun and wool hanging over bushes, laid out of tall grasses, and hung on the line in the yard.  I hear chickens in the yard, I watch them pecking and scratching with their young.  I hear pigs in the pen, cows in the field.  Children running home from a day of school.

There really isn't much in my thoughts of country, although in my heart I see country living related to homestead life.  Many of these same visions could easily happen in a small town, a large town or a big city.  They would be slightly different, but not in ways that matter really.  Homesteading, being a homesteader, to me at least, has more to do with the heart you have than the land you live on.  It's the heart with which you live out your days.  It's a thirst for knowledge....knowledge of your past, your heritage, and knowledge of where you want to be in your life down the road. 

I guess I don't envision homesteaders spending long hours away from home, working jobs they don't find joy in.  I don't bring thoughts to mind of a homesteader sending children off to school to have free time for themselves.  I don't bring thoughts of homesteading to mind when I see men and women working to afford 'luxuries' they have rationalized out as needs when they are really just selfish wants.  I can see a homesteader in most folks simply by their attitude of life and how they relate to things in general.  Homesteaders aren't homeschoolers.  Homesteaders aren't land-owners.  Homesteaders aren't all working off their land and home for a living.  Many are, but most of us have to find our income elsewhere, and it isn't always an easy walk with our society these days brandishing new and fancy as a value system.

But in my heart, in my mind's eye of dreams and thoughts, I see a quiet family, sitting at the end of the long day, talking over the many blessings The Lord has shared with them over their day.  I see lamplight, I see an open Bible, and I see contented, blessed faces being together as a family.  Folks are happy -- maybe the day didn't go as planned, maybe something was lost or money unexpectedly used, but they are hapy with the life they have been given to live out.  They are together, they are healthy and they are a family tucked inside from the world around them for the night.

Is this really just a long-gone ideal lifestyle?  I don't think so.  In fact, I pray mightily that it isn't something lost from our grips.  I have moved too far from that ideal lifestyle, I know.  We are far more 'plain and simple' in our living than some, but the world itself has thrown out nearly all of the visions I bring to mind when I think homestead.  I long for that simple life to overtake us again and for things to become basic and cut-n-dried again.  Maybe one day.  In The Kingdom.  Soon.

I often get a sad feeling over women who long for 'home and family' yet seem to go out of their way to destroy any path that might lead to that in their lives.

We have a family member who was married just out of high school to the school-long sweetheart.  They lived a seemingly happy life together, but it was sad at its core.  He had 'his' life and she had 'hers.'  They would pass each other while working....he working mostly days and her working many split shifts as a manager of a store.  They would meet for a 'date' now and again, having dinner or something, but rarely lived as a couple at all.  They lead separate lives completely.  They even took separate vacations most often than not in their 15 year marriage.

She had 'her' bills and 'her' income....he had 'his' own as well.  The only payment they shared was the house mortgage.  She bought her own car, made her own payments on it.  He bought his truck and did the same thing.  They were living like strangers in their household.  This was not a marriage.  Not a marriage that was lived out in the presence of one another, building and strengthening through trials and hardships and blessed moments of oy as a true marriage should.  They were more like college room-mates than husband and wife.

Not surprisingly, they are now divorced.  She is moving right on into another marriage....one that is set up similarly to her first.  He is also heading into another marriage, but there are huge differences in this one for him.  They share their lives completely.  They have 'plans' for their marriage, and those plans include being a couple and not strangers living under the same roof.

What makes someone want to live like that?  I don't understand it at all.  It makes no sense to me.  I feel I have a wonderful marriage.  Our nearly 23 years together has not always been a walk in the park but we have not felt a temptation to separate ourselves in any way, shape, or form.  I can say that with the fullest of confidence, for both myself and for my husband.  Our lives are intertwined.  We are two cloths making up one beautiful tapestry as man and wife.  I am not his slave, nor is he mine.  I am not his housekeeper, his cook, his laundress.  I am blessed to be created a woman and have been gifted his helpmeet in our marriage.  The Lord set us apart for one another.  We were His Gifts to one another, aside from our Salvation.

How do those who do not know The Lord, who do not have a deep relationship with Him, spend their married lives?  Do they live as our family did -- maintaining separate lives, not sharing a single tie to one another aside from breathing the same air in the same household?  My children will not live marriages that way.  They have been raised to see how a marriage gift from God works.  They see it in the many stories and glimpses into Godly lives we read in The Scriptures, they have seen it in their grandparent's lives, in the lives of so many other saints at our church, in the life and walk of their father and mother.  We don't live a life without toil and hardship, without argument and disagreement...goodness, I know of no one truly honest with themselves and one another who does!  Our lives are not easy from a flesh-lived point of view.  Satan has seen to that.  But we can have very easy lives from God's point of view if we simply remember what values are to be important in our lives.

First and foremost, I am a child of God.  He is my Rock, my Sustainer, my Balm of Healing.  Everything I need to know about marriage and how to be a Godly wife and mother is in His Book.  But above those great, high callings in my life, I am to be His Child first.

My husband is also my rock and fortitude in life.  He is my protector and my soulmate.  As he lives his life with God and his head, he guides me in those same steps as well.  We grow and learn together daily, and yes, we have hardships and troubles, but we know that what God has put together, not one man on this earthcan ever tear down.  Only we can destroy our own dreams.

I am called to be a helpmeet to my husband.  I am not called to be his cook, his housekeeper, his slave as so many modern, femine-touting liberals will say.  I stay at home out of choice, to tend and care for my husband's needs here and the needs and nurturings of our children.  I have worked many years, and I could very easily enter the workforce again, making "my own" money and living my own life....a very empty life.  Sure, the added income could be nice for the plans we have here on our homestead, but it is not worth the destruction of our dreams or the calling of The Lord.  He has called me to remain home and tend our children's needs and education.  He has called me to remain faithful to His Word and rest in knowing that we will replace the small visions we have here for greater visions in His Kingdom one day. 

I honor God by fulfilling my callling and not following after the world's vision of "worthwhile womanhood."  I am blessed to be able to tend to my husband and my children.  I am blessed to be able to tend our home, fix our meals and help find ways to save us money that my husband brings onto the homestead.  It is my deepest honor to be able to fulfill what The Lord has asked of me, as a woman of God, as a helmeet to my God-gifted husband, as a mother and teacher to my God-gifted children. 

It saddens me to see so many women leaving their dreams behind them so they can find some fulfillment in working side by side in the world with other woman who have traded their dreams.  If a woman wants to be home with her babies, yet she leaves for work to pay for what...that new car?  that big, fancy house?  those expensive gifts and vacations?...she has destroyed the dreams of her calling.  It isn't someone else placing value on her...it is her losing value in herself as a woman of God.