Sugar Bend Farm

Holland

I just thought I would post this poem for anyone that it might help.  I don't know if there is anyone out there that hasn't read this poem.  The first time I read it was at a ladies meeting in Texas in the mid 90's.  I was very touched by the poem then.  Again yesterday I was listening to NPR to The Diane Rehm Show , her guests' had written a book about their experiences with their boys who had autism and Fragile x syndrome. The book is called "Dear Megan" . The women were at different stages of their life, one whose boys were grown men now, and the other who was dealing with teenagers.  And they discussed the poem.  It reminded me again how touched I was by it years ago.  I do not have a special needs child, but I am moved by the blogs I have read of those who do.  But I can see that the poem could apply to many other issues that we face in life.  I hope that someone is as touched by the poem as I have been.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.