Hatfield House (in the city)

On a good note.. I finally cleaned off my desk and ALL that clutter! YAHOO!!! There's still a little pile of stuff to go through and "do" with, but all in all it's ok.

Dennis got his new glasses yesterday and was absolutely amazed with the difference his eyes have had in just one years time. Me too. Mine continue to get worse, and I finally just asked the doc flat out... "Will I be blind eventually?" He told me that barring any disease, no, I wouldn't go blind. THANK YOU GOD!!! I just can't understand why I am continuing to get worse each year. But faithfully, he fixes me up and I continue to see.... This time, however, I just decided to get the lined bifocals instead of trying to hide everything about myself in the search for perpetual youth.... LOL!

Children are doing ok. We did alot of math today in school. Especially since I discovered that my 9th grader has fairly the same math skills as my 4th grader (and the 7th grader the same). So we just hit fractions today and are adding them. Tomorrow we will subtract them and see where we come up. I plan on hitting math daily until we are caught up.

No new news about Dad. Excpt the biopsy came back malignant and during the procedure his lung collapsed. There's a chest tube in place now, and he is being kept sedated so he doesn't pull it out.

I plan on calling my step Mom later tonight and seeing if there has been any changes in his condition.

Dad

After a battery of tests and setbacks and hurdles to jump.....today...today I found out that my Dad has lung cancer.

I know that the Lord gives us no more than we can bear, but just how strong does He think I am?

Normally, my Daddy is a clean shaven fella... just more proof that he hasn't felt well lately.

COMPUTER CRASH!!!! (and other stuff...)

I've spent ALL day trying to bring my computer back from a nasty "trojan" that attacked it this morning.... I was perusing the net and looking at an Etsy shop of vintage clothing, and POOF!!!! I had a million windows open and although I could close them, then another window kept coming up asking me to delete the "spyware" that had invaded me!

So I discovered that I had something like 47 spyware and malware infections and a couple of Trojan infections....(not using that pop up, but my own utilities.)

Tomorrow I head out to go see my Dad and then on Wednesday to see about this infamous brain thing thats going on.

And today I received in the mail a letter from the court system where my Mom's lawyer was (is), saying that I have 30 days to pay a bill that's overdue from her death or they will take the rest of her money.....

How do I know which bill to pay? Or that the court needs to be involved? I've never had a parent die before, much less be an executor for one's estate!

Went to the doc and had blood drawn for my routine doc visit for my diabetes. I asked if I could have an A1c done too, and the lab gal said she was fairly sure that I could. I hope so, I'd like to keep track of this diabetes so it doesn't suddenly crawl up and attack (quite like Dad's brain thing)!

I've been trying to stay completely away from "white" foods. If I do, I can pretty much stay under 100 for the most part, but today I had 2 balogna sandwiches for supper and of course, a couple hours after, I am still at 154.

Dh is still battling the flu bug that's had ahold for a couple of weeks now. Rosebud is finally coming out of it. Thank You, God!

God bless all of you and I pray today finds and keeps you all in peace and prosperity!

Just new stuff today....

I called to talk to my Dad last night and my step mom told me that he had a CT scan last week, and has a mass in (or on) his brain and fluid build up. He has another appt in Cleveland on the 2nd of April that I am going to be there for. Guess we'll find out more then.
Why didn't she call me? I don't know...
Talked to my brother and told him last night too, and neither one of us feel very welcome to visit our Dad anymore. I mean, with our Mom, no one ever had to get a hotel... we'd grab blankets and pillows and sleep on the floor if we were all home together, but to go to a doc appt with my Dad, I have to get a hotel room (I live 4 hours away) and drive myself to his appt the following day (another hour) because her son (my step brother?) is driving them to Cleveland.
Ever feel like a 5th wheel in your own family?

This morning has been peaceful so far, I've looked up Dad's condition and am armed with info for myself and questions for the doctor.

Abby is going with me, and we are getting a hotel about 6 miles or so away from Dad's house. And, I'm taking my little chihuahua. His kennel will fit neatly in the back and a soft cushy blanket will serve the purpose whilst we are in the docs office.

Today I have to get an oil change, and have some things checked on my vehicle, so we can be ready to go.

The Lord will be with us, I am sure. He continues to keep his hand on me, and I am so very thankful, because I need Him so.

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,

other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed

that during the low periods of my life,

when I was suffering from

anguish, sorrow or defeat,

I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,

"You promised me Lord,

that if I followed you,

you would walk with me always.

But I have noticed that during

the most trying periods of my life

there have only been one

set of footprints in the sand.

Why, when I needed you most,

you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,

"The times when you have

seen only one set of footprints in the sand,

is when I carried you."

Mary Stevenson

Devotional for today....

In my devotional, the first line reads... "Goodness and purity ought never to attract attention to themselves, they ought simply to be magnets to draw to Jesus Christ..."

This is exactly what I want in my life. To be (to have) goodness and purity. But I am ashamed to admit, my temper and mouth have already gotten me in trouble at work, and I am afraid I have shamed my Lord with my antics. I have tarnished my image, therefore tarnishing my Lord's. How can I be "in His image" and act the way I do? And how can I redeem myself and act like a decent human being again?

I am going to go prayerfully to Him and apologize for my actions and words and ask forgiveness. He will forgive, but will I be able to forgive myself?

How do I regain the lost footing in the grace of my Lord? I am nothing but a worn old rag that certainly doesn't deserve His forgiveness, and certainly not His love... yet He continues to forgive me day after day after day....

Just ramblings for today....

Nothing really new to report from a work standpoint. The boss lady did give me the schedule I asked for, which is good, at least now I will be getting a full 40 hours per week that our family so desperately needs, I will also be able to start attending church on Sunday mornings again! YIPEE!!!

And that means Sunday School in full swing again!!!!!!

One of my little lady loves at work went home to be with the Lord yesterday. She wanted to go for awhile, and He finally and graciously allowed her to. She left as quietly as she lived.... peaceful and quiet. She missed her husband terribly. He had went home a few months previous. They had been married 70 years... can you imagine? I'll miss you Miss B... but I'm glad you're with W where you wanted to be....

My precious hubby-kins is still sick. He says he feels like a truck has hit him full force. If he isn't better by Monday, he's going to the doc. I don't care. He can argue all he wants, but I've seen too many weird things this year in my profession, and I'm not taking a chance. I have faith that the Great Physician will give him strength.

He told me last night when I called to tell him good night, that Jr (Amelia) is starting to get it too. Oh, I do pray not.

by cashing in PTO hours at work, I was able to put $500 in our savings account this morning, and pay our insurance!

I am going to send another payment to my student loan too. I'm seriously behind on that....

Flu running rampant!!!

Poor DH is so sick. This AM is the first time he's been up since yesterday about 2pm. He has a low grade temp, and is coughing like there's no tomorrow. I've been dosing him up with medicine and keeping him as comfy as possible.

This morning (about 11:45am), he wakes up wanting donuts. I told him that he didn't need any. Mean of me? Probably... but his weight is also going up, up and up!

So he has chicken broth he's sipping on. See if that stays down.

I have alot of running to do today, since we have not prepared for Easter this year. I didn't even finish getting the girls' dresses finished this year! *sigh!*

Pastor, bless his precious heart, was thinking of cancelling sunrise service on Sunday, but changed his mind after I showed interest. I've never been to one, and I can actually go since I get off work at 6a, and can be there in time! I usually don't get to go on Sundays cause I work 12 hour shifts on the weekends, so going to a sunrise service is something I am looking forward to!

Blood sugar has been pretty much above 100. Can't seem to get it lower than that! So today, I plan on taking some chicken broth with me to work to see if I can drink some of that and leave the "snacky" foods alone. I've noticed that the bottoms of my feet hurt and so do my fingertips... wondering if it's neuropathy. I just can't afford to fall apart yet... I'm only 45! I have children to finish raising! I have grand children to see het married! I have lots and lots of years left (good Lord willing!)!

I also have a shower to go get... have to go to the store here in a few and have some things to do before worktime, so I'd better get busy!

Happy 1st day of Spring!!!

And isn't it a lovely one? I believe we're to have rain the better part of the day, with some sunshine thrown in for good measure...

I had to get a new stove yesterday. The old one literally sparked in my face! Scared the bejeebies out of me! Wonderful husband came to my rescue and tried to fix it, but when he tried to replace the part that blew, the shop said they didn't even know how long it would take for a new part to come in! And hubby wasn't too fond of the idea of me using the stove with top burners that wouldn't turn off. So... he bought me a new one last night. Had it delivered and everything!

I used it last night to bake the 4 loaves of bread that were sitting on the counter ready to be put IN the oven when the old one decided to Ka-put, and then dd tried a new recipe that she had been planning... coffee marinated steaks. Came out pretty good, if I do say so myself!

Hubby has an awful cough and cold, so therefore I couldn't sleep too well last night, adn got up about 1:30a. I have already made a pitcher of soy milk. (We use it for cooking and the children drink it. Well, I do too, but dh refuses. ) With the price of milk (and everything else these days) we have to cut corners somehow and somewhere!

Speaking of conserving energy, I've been making a budget, and not one to hide things from the children, I explained about the bills vs the money coming in. We've had an extrordinarily high electric bill and water bill, so we've come up with a plan to conserve what we can. The children are as old fashioned as I am, so we re-filled our oil lamps last night, and unplugged the microwave and clocks we don't use.... we have power strips that we turn off to the computer in the evening, and have made a plan....

We are going to use as little as possible during the next two months and see what the difference is in our bills.

It was nice to NOT have to listen to that dad-gummed TV last night, and to see children doing their homework by oil light.

The home is a place of comfort and peace, and I like it to be so... for parents and children alike, and I believe that the soft glow of an oil lamp gives that effect.

Making (and keeping) a peaceful home is very important to me. I remember being able to go home to my Momma's (always home to me) and knowing that I would be comfortable there, and I pray that our children will always feel the same.

Pretty enough for a walk...

We put down the schoolbooks and headed outside for some much needed fresh air! :)

It was great! We hiked down the bike trail and saw some lovely sights, and talked alot about the Lord (and what could be better than that)?

Had a couple others to show, but my computers being testy, so it won't let me resize... don't know why, it just gets grumpy sometimes!

Singing at church tonight...

We had a few groups in for a singing tonight at church. Good, down home music. We filled our bellies with some hot dogs and slopy joes and some scrumptious desserts, then listened as good old fashioned Christian music flowed through our souls!

Our son had his little head leaning on me, so we discussed which instrument we liked the best... he liked the banjo, and asked me a few times if I would get him one for his birthday in June... LOL! (We'll see...)

We got to bring home some of the "goodies" (like anyone in this house NEEDS them)!

We've had freezing rain and wind all day, so we're under a Level 2 travel warning here. The roads are fine, but the trees and bushes and everything else is ice covered and nasty out! *Brrrrr...*

Hubby has a Dr appointment tomorrow with the doc that is going to do his heart cath. So keep him in your prayers.... we think the heart cath date is Thursday at 11am.

Been doing some more revamping to the children's school schedule. It's going alright, I think. The 13 y/o dd complained to me this evening that she used to like being homeschooled, but now she doesn't, cause it's "too hard".... LOL! We're backing up on her math for awhile. She's having some troubles. So I am going to do it with her, and we'll be side by side, so I can see where she's going wrong, and I've scheduled in a couple of time blocks so her sister can help tutor her a little. Wonderful thing about homeschooling. We can stop where we are for awhile, and re-do whatever needs re-done!

I'm going to scoot off here awhile, and hit the sack. It's close to 10, and I need to be up bright and early so I can get busy!

Praise God for church!

We had a wonderful church time this morning! The Pastor really hit home on some areas, and we had quite a few in attendance! (We had 71 this morning~ not bad for a little hometown country church, huh?)

Philippians 3

1Finally, my brethren, rejoice in the Lord. To write the same things to you, to me indeed is not grievous, but for you it is safe.

3For we are the circumcision, which worship God in the spirit, and rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh.

4Though I might also have confidence in the flesh. If any other man thinketh that he hath whereof he might trust in the flesh, I more:

5Circumcised the eighth day, of the stock of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, an Hebrew of the Hebrews; as touching the law, a Pharisee;

6Concerning zeal, persecuting the church; touching the righteousness which is in the law, blameless.

8Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,

9And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith:

10That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death;

12Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.

13Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

14I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Yes, yes, YES!!! I want to strive toward that goal! I NEED to strive toward that goal! I HAVE to strive toward that goal!

Whether this goal is to return to college and become a RN, or stay where I am and be a LPN for the rest of my career, let it be so.

I had to come home and make some apology cards for someone at work I am afraid that I offended when I was angry one day last week (the card is because I won't see her and I'm not sure when I will see her face to face again~ we are different shifts.)

Thank You Lord for such a convicting and cleansing church service... thank You for being able to be everywhere ALL the time... and thank You Lord, for our Pastor. You work through him wonderfully and gracefully.

UPDATE

Hubby came home today, with a promise to have a stress test and possible heart cath ASAP.
They wanted him to stay the weekend, but he said no. He wanted to be here with his family, and he said, with me being a nurse, I can take better care of him at home! LOL!
Oh the Lord is so wonderful to allow him to come home to me! Makes me realize just how lucky I am to have such a loving precious spouse to grow old"er" with!
Thank you all for your prayers for us last night, but please continue for his tests he must endure.

I took my husband to the hospital today. He was having chest pain. They immediately gave him an EKG, everything looks great there, his blood work is good, and everything else is ok too.
But they kept him there for observation overnight, which is a good thing, I guess, but I have not ever spent a night alone on this house since we have been married. I'm lonely, scared, and everything is hitting me all at once.... right now.
I mean, I know he is going to be alright, but it is so empty here without him. If I didn't have the children to watch over, I would have stayed right by his side all night long. He even pulled his covers up and said, "Come on, Honey..." and I was so very tempted to!
And I called off work tonight (6p-6a shift) because of this, and more than likely wil tomorrow too, just to be with him. (Pretty bad when I only work 3 days a week, huh?)

I just miss my hubby, is all.

Would it be too childish to ask for prayer for him? And for me tonight?

Finished up some jammies for Logan today

He was so excited about these jammies. I told him that they were for another boy about his size, but when I asked him to try on the finished product and he saw his name embroidered on the pocket, I thought he was going to have a fit! LOL!

He wants to be like big brother Seve and be in the Army. I told him that we'd send Steve some pics of him in his new jammies... I think big brother Steve would like that, wouldn't ya ,Steve?

By the way...keep him in your prayers along with all the other servicemen and women. Our Steve is in Iraq somewhere. *WE LOVE YOU SON!!!*

Anyhoo~ things are fairly quiet at the Hatfield House for the moment. I just finished my homework and have it posted. Beautiful grand daughter stayed the night and is sleeping peacefully. Hubby and children are snuggled in their beds.... the storms last night hit us, but it wasn't as bad as we thought it was going to be. I laid awake in the bed listening to the tornado alarms go off, gently nudging a snoring husband to get him to wake up and tell me everything was going to be alright. (I'm a chicken!) But nothing was severe around here, thank God!

I do need to get some household things done tomorrow, like cooking and cleaning! LOL! And stay off my sewing machine for awhile! But I think I am going to get some cutting things out done, and I have a package to send overseas and one to Colorado, and I gotta get some bills paid!

So I imagine I had better say goodnight and I pray that you are all blessed with peace and prosperity this week!

Getting ready to storm....

A rain shower is about to come soon. There's thunder and lightening outside, and it is unseasonably warm.

Does anyone else remember the winters we USED to have? That started in October with snow and when Spring began in March? Or is that just a figment of my imagination?

Made a bunch of underwear for the men in my life (dh and 10y/o son), and have some pajama fabric cut out for a pair of warm flannel jammies for my young man...

Tomorrow I must rise and shine early, cause we have a funeral to go to, and I must make a dish to take. A "founding" member of our church went home to be with the Lord about a week ago.

My devotion for today asked me if I would be just as happy working for God in a totally insignifigant manner. Would I be happy knowing I had done my best for Him? Or would I be upset not being in the "limelight"?

I think I am happiest being in the background and working for the Lord. As long as He guides me, I am satisfied with my life and what He gives me.

Thank You God for blessing me beyond measure.... You are so good... ALL the time! :)

My Boys in their new jammies

Here's my guys in their new jammies that I made. Matching Dad and son... Logan was so excited! He just about couldn't stand it! LOL!

I had to re-do a pattern that I had in order to get Logan's the right size. It wasn't especially hard.

Then I cut out some short and top sets for my grandsons in Colorado. I plan on getting them sewn very soon too.

I am on the verge of wanting a new machine. The one I have has served it's purpose, and is starting to "hum" whenever I press the foot pedal. It doesn't want to start like it should.

But the machines I am seeing are quite an investment that I can't afford now.... maybe someday!

Gotta get busy with the children's schooling now... morning chores are done and the fire is stoked! And it's C-O-L-D! so we're having school in the living room today....

Good Thursday morning!

Here we are, in the beginnings of another chilly Indiana morn, contemplating on how to begin the day. There's so much to do, yet where to begin? I did accomplish alot yesterday, as far as sewing is concerned....

I finished a bed for our "getting older" Great Dane that has been a faithful member of this family for many years.....

Then I made dear hubby a "remote holder" for his easy chair, to keep everything in one place (now to teach the children what it's for! LOL!)

I also made a wallet for myself, but I am not entirely pleased, so I am going to make another....

And here's a bag I made. I'm thinking about making all the young ladies in the family matching bags and wallets for Christmas (yes, I'm Christmas thinking already!)

We went for Chinese last night, and although it was good, my blood sugar shot up to 175 less than 1 hour afterward. I finally got it down to a bit above 140, and went to bed. No wonder I had a headache and zonked out quickly... we know that Chinese doesn't work with me either..... am I ever going to be able to eat again?.....

Anyhoo~ I'm also thinking of ways to revampp the children schooling. They just don't seem to be getting as much as I think they should, which bothers me. I do have faith that they are actually learning, but I'm not sure if it is the direction I want to go with their education.

Many prayers and discussing with hubby is the first step before any decisions are made, although I am leaning more toward a formal curriculum for the olders. I can still teach the younger son, so we will stick with his for awhile...

Another Doc for hubby...

His doctor that he has had for years decided to go straight hospital, and gave up all of his patients.

And the bonus part is... I know this doctor (cause I'm a nurse) and he is a good one!

Isn't it strange these days that some doctors make you fill out an "application" and if they don't like what's wrong or if they don't think your insurance is quite up to their standards, they can refuse to take you on as a patient? That's the difficulty we ran into these past few weeks...my husband receives disability from an accident long ago, and he also gets the Medicare disability insurance. He was turned down for that!

Other blogs? My Short stay at myspace...

I started a myspace blog at the request of a little girl at work. I had one previously, but deleted it. The one I started yesterday morning has now been deleted too. Now I remember why. There is so much vulgarity there, that I just can't stand it anymore!

Now, before you think I am just a prim and proper little wannabe, let me explain.

I used to be involved with the world as much (if not more) than some of the poor souls on that blog site are. I used to listen to the music so loud that my ears would hurt (now I wear hearing aids).. music such as White Zombie and Metallica were among some of my favorites. I could cuss with the best of them and drink most grown men under the table... I have been in fights, and in jail.

Then I came to know the Lord. A little at first, then more and more... these other things in my life, just didn't seem as important to me as my family and homelife and studying more about Him became.

Slowly, I began to see a change in my attitude, and in my life, and how I presented myself to others.

I like the new me a lot better. My only regret is not coming to the Lord and His grace sooner, and not being there to teach my older children in the ways I am teaching the younger.

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I guess what I am trying to say is that although the internet is an important and useful tool in so many lives today (I am currently taking an online college course), it is also full of the demons from hell, if you allow it to be.

Be careful and watch what you see and what your children see. There are so many sneaky ways for things to filter through. As soon as I opened my little blog on myspace, I received an email from a gal that said she liked my profile and wanted to know if we could be friends. I opened her email, and what I saw wasn't something I wanted to be friends with, nor have on my screen for anyone in my household to see! (She's now in my blocked email list).

Pray that the Lord will protect us from the firey darts that Satan shoots at us daily. Protect your family. Stand vigilant and guard the little ones....