Catholic Heart

wish I could do for myself ....

06:47, Saturday, February 2, 2008 .. Link

Lately I've noticed that I have done a lot of work for other people to help their work and their dreams be more visible and put them "on the map" ..... and then they take full credit and I get pushed aside.

One of my best skills is in helping others to fulfill their dreams, or to make their vision a reality. It's what I do.

But I'm tired of taking a back seat when I'm the one putting gas in the car and keeping it tuned up. If it weren't for me, they wouldn't be where they are now -- and they get it for free.

I've been wondering if maybe this is a lesson in humility for me. Is this what the Lord wants of me? I keep seeing opportunities to help, where my skills are needed, but it always hurts when the recognition for achievements comes around and I'm left in the dark again. Speaking up about it makes me seem like a squeaky wheel, craving the spotlight - and it's not that. I'd just like credit where credit is due.

Some day, these people will have to answer to God for how they treated those who helped them become successful. What comes around, goes around.

I just wish that I could have my own time as well, that I could do for myself what I have done for others.

Some people have told me that I should write a book, or a series of essays, or do consulting for my kind of work. My problem is this - I easily promote others, but I have great difficulty promoting myself. It feels like a high form of conceit to me, to promote myself or "sell" myself (my skills).

Not sure how to get around that.

Then there is the dilemma that poses - is the Lord trying to teach me greater humility, or is He trying to get me to do for myself what i have done for others? And how can I know which way to go?

I can't stretch myself any thinner with volunteering and helping others - I spend my life doing this, when I'm not home being a wife and mother. Also, I can't afford to add any more volunteering - it's costing me too much. I've wished many times that I could do it as a job, but that never worked out.

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wish I could do for myself ....

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