Catholic Heart

I love learning, but I'll keep my faith, thank you.

03:34, Sunday, January 20, 2008 .. Link

I am restarting a different blog here to give things another try. I needed some wiggle-room. I've met two Muslim moms recently who told me how similar my beliefs and lifestyle are to theirs, and then they told me I'd make a good Muslim. I appreciate that ... and given my wandering mind and how much I love to learn about different cultures, I even considered it ... but no. In my heart I am Catholic, and could not give up my faith and beliefs for another. I could not adopt another Messiah or prophet or whatever they consider Mohammed to be. I mean no disrespect to them, and I admire their courage and resolve in practicing their faith and wearing their outfits in the shadow of 9/11 and the never-ending war ... but that is not me. I've studied Islam, even read much of the Qur'an, but never found the peace, the beauty, and the rich history that I have found in the Catholic faith.

My ancestors, also, faced tremendous adversity and hardship when they came here, and I'm sure it was not easy for two young southern Italians in the early 1900s to come here and make a new life based on legends and stories of America. And now, a century later, their great-granddaughter can attend Mass with their granddaughter (my aunt), faced with hospice decisions and major legal and insurance issues concerning their daughter-in-law (my dying grandmother), and know that we have a strong Rock to support us through it all. We may not have much family left, my aunt and I, but we have each other (and my husband and children) and our Catholic faith.

I've realized that religion isn't just religion - it's lifestyle, it's culture, it's family, it's who you are inside. I could no more adopt a Muslim lifestyle than I could renounce my family. It would be putting on a robe that is not mine. I have not owned all of the Catholic practices, but I own the ones I feel in my heart. And my aunt continues to teach me more. I lost my mother 11 years ago, so in a way, my aunt is passing down family traditions of faith and beliefs to me, as she has no other heirs, and I am the last of our bloodline. And so I carry on our traditions and ways, as it is my honor, duty and privilege to do this now.

There comes a point in a person's life when you step beyond the motions of religion and start living the realities at the heart of the faith, those truths that you have lived, witnessed, experienced in your heart. And then it is no longer something you do or a category you're grouped into, but a way of life.

What I am hoping for now - and praying for - is to meet more Catholic mothers IN REAL LIFE like myself. I am hoping this will begin this year. There is a week-long pro-life vigil in my area in March, where parishioners will keep one hour vigils for 24 hours, all seven days. This is the first pro-life vigil I'll be able to attend, as usually they're at a bad time (7:30 a.m.) or too far away from me (downtown). So I'm hoping that by participating in that (outside an abortion clinic), I will not only help save unborn children's lives, but also meet like-minded Catholic women who are devoted to their families and live their faith, who make 'faith and family' a priority and not just 'Catholic in name only'.

I hear all over the media and all around me the Culture of Death, that my way of life is backwards. Still, I persist in my values and my beliefs, and try my best to live my faith each day. Why? Because faith comes at a price, and living my faith is the only appropriate answer to such a heavy price. It is also a way of honoring my ancestors, to honor their faith. And to honor my family history, my living relatives, and to remember those who have fallen away from their faith (including my husband), so I live my Catholic faith for him as well.

Just wish I knew more "IRL" like me. But when I am asked how I do it all, how I take care of my little one with special needs, manage working at home, managing my home, cooking, cleaning, errands, a hobby (making rosaries), volunteer work, and my husband's heavy work hours (60 or more a week) .... my faith keeps me strong, connected, and keeps me going. I attend Mass each Sunday with my aunt, try to pray at least the Divine Mercy chaplet every day, and if I can I try also to pray the Rosary and to remember the intentions and concerns of family, friends, and the forgotten ones of Christ.

I still enjoy learning about other religions and cultures - I love to learn. But I already have my 'boat' ....

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