• Sunday, August 5, 2007 -

So as I stated in my first entry, I am quite the myspace addict. I have more of a social network on there of friends and other preggers. But Ive come to realize that although I can communicate with my friends, old and new, I cant quite get my feelings out. Then after my mom telling me about something she learned off one of the blogs, I remembered, "Oh yes, I have one of those too..." so here I am now. I am now 36 weeks pregnant! For those of you who don't know, I'm having a little girl. Or at least I hope so. I had my first U/S at 19 weeks and the tech said I was having a girl. My doctor does an U/S every visit and up until this last time, 'she' has had her legs crossed or been in the wrong position. Then last time he said he thought that she was a girl. Thought being the key word. UGH! Either way, I'm happy. When I first arrived here in Arkansas I was so frustrated with everything. My life, people, God. After countless hours of crying, a few of getting angry and some spent in self pity, I have finally gotten back to what I know as 'me'. I understand that although I don't have the ideal fairy tale, I am quite blessed with what I do have. I am so thankful to be here with my mom! She is the best friend I have. I thought that I was close with her before, but I think being pregnant has brought us a closer in a different way. I know she gets tired of the endless questions I have, but like she jokingly told us when we were kids. "Just wait till you have your own."  Well momma, guess what? Im prego! Payback has started. Although I have been pregnant forever it seems, I woke up the other day and realized, oh my goodness, I am pregnant. I am bringing a life into this world, and I am responsible to raise and teach someone else. That thought scares me so bad! As much as I want to hold my little one, I also dont want to raise them in the world today. I feel like that in my belly they are safe, and I can somewhat control what happens. But when she comes out, I dont have that control as much. Its so hard to explain. I just dont want her to grow up in this mess! It breaks my heart. Whew. Can ya'll tell the hormones are kicking in? :) I hope everyone is doing well and making it through this heat! I have a doctors appointment on Tuesday and I promise to stay in touch! Nicole and Emma! This is my belly at 35 weeks!

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Comments

• Sunday, August 5, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by morningsunshine

isn't it amazing! I mean, look at that picture! it is beautiful to think that there is a life hiding in there. glad you have updated us on your life - I have been thinking about you recently.

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• Monday, August 6, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by mc2rwe

I love you baby... I still can't get over the fact that you are going to be a mother... kind of freaks me out... but we really know who is in control and all things are in His time... Mom

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• Monday, August 6, 2007 - hi nicole

Posted by tioga12

Glad to see you back again. I enjoyed the pics of your baby quilts on your mom's blog. Thanks for sharing and we will be looking forward to the big news and baby pictures! I am glad you are feeling back to yourself again. Life's struggles have a purpose, and God is in them. Don't forget that! love, Annette

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• Wednesday, August 29, 2007 - Baby!!!

Posted by countrygalu

It is amazing that a baby is inside there. I can't wait till she is born and you post some baby pics. Makayla

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