A Quiet Little Woman

violence in videos

This past week we have been watching a movie as a family, a VERY long movie I might add!  I really was enjoying it, but feeling kind of like I shouldn't watch it as it was really violent and there were some inappropriate things (nothing bad, just enough to make me uncomfortable).  I woke up one morning after watching it the night before and I felt terrible!!  I felt unclean, full of bad thoughts and just down right terrible!!  I prayed to feel clean again, and felt like I shouldn't watch it again.  On sunday in sacrament meeting I just didn't feel worthy to partake of the sacrament and renew my covenants, so I was praying and praying and commited that I wouldn't watch the rest.  It was really had to keep my commitment, as the rest of my family watched it... but I felt clean and pure again!!

Interestingly enough, I have been so angry the past week!  I usually am not a very angry person, but I have been SO angry!  I didn't want to be, I just was!  I have been praying that I wouldn't be and remembered something I had learned from an email I had recieved awhile ago.  This is a video that everyone should watch (How Television Affects Your Brain Chemistry -- And That's Not All!)!!  It is only 4 minutes long, but so good!!  We are all being brain washed when we watched tv and movies!!  Scary thought!  It's no wonder I was feeling violent, I was watching Robin Hood!!

This experience has really made me think about my movie standards...  as a family we have commited to not watch anything worse than PG.  We don't even watch some PG and G as they are so crude and disgusting!!  But I think that I need to raise the bar on my movie standards and become better.  My church has a booklet of standards that we are supposed to live (you can go HERE to view it if you want) and under Entertainment and the Media it says "Do not attend, view, or participate in entertainment that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way. Do not participate in entertainment that in any way presents immorality or violent behavior as acceptable... Depictions of violence often glamorize vicious behavior. They offend the Spirit and make you less able to respond to others in a sensitive, caring way. They contradict the Savior’s message of love for one another."

I pray that I may be able to change my movie standards and wisely use every moment for the glory of GOD, in the service of others and for the edification of myself!! 

“If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things” (Articles of Faith 1:13). 

an attitude of gratitude

Yesterday was a HORRIBLE day!  Things happened, or didn't happen, and I have just been feeling like everything I have wanted has been taken away.  I was in the bathroom for a minute last night and was crying to God saying "Why have you taken so many things away from me that I wanted or thought I needed!?" 

And the thought came... "you are SO incredibly blessed, count your blessings!"

So I looked around, and saw the toilet paper... something we all take advantage of, but all have and use!  And so I thought, "I am grateful for toilet paper!"  Since I can only see with my glasses on, I thought "I'm so grateful for glasses so I can see!!"  I have been focusing on what I don't have, or what I wanted... instead of being so grateful for ALL the blessings that I have been given!!  So... I've decided that I am going to start a gratitude list and go to 1000!  I'll try to do 20 things a day, or if I'm feeling extra grateful, I'll do more! 

I'm grateful for...

1) my wonderful mother, who is always so willing to listen

2) my great father, who works so hard to provide for all of us

3) my sister#1, who doesn't live with us, but I love her & know that she loves me!  

4) my sister #2, who is lots of fun, and is weird with me!

5) my brother #1, who is strong enough to help me carry heavy things!

6) my sister #3, who I can talk to about homesteading!

7) my sister #4 who has so much energy and can give me an extra boost when she has energy and I don't!

8) my brother #2, who is so willing to give me lots of hugs and sweet kisses!

9) my little sister in heaven... I love her and miss her, but know that I have her looking out for me in heaven!

10) my little brother in heaven... now I have another sibling in heaven that I have to look forward to meeting someday!

11) my beautiful home, that has electricity and running water!

12) my computer, that gives us options to learn so much.. just at the click of a button!

13) my washer... that can wash huge loads and makes laundry SO much easier!

14) my beautiful dryer... makes it so easy to dry and makes clothes clean smelling!

15) my shower, that helps me be clean, I love a warm shower in the morning!

16) my warm bed, such a comfortable one!

17) our beautiful 15 passenger van, which makes it so easy to haul things for others!

18) my glasses ;), I love putting them on each morning and being able to see clearly!

19) clothes that help me be modest and feminine!

20) little woman, who is such a good friend to me, even though I've never met her... I'm so grateful for her prayers!!

Join me in being grateful today!!

Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things. (D&C 59:7)

35 years...

Today marks the 35th anniversary of Roe vs. Wade.  I wasn't alive when this happened, but I was reading today on multiple blogs about the horror of it all... Crystal at Biblical Womanhood has some very thought provoking posts over there, if you want to stop by.  To quote Mrs. Wilt:

Sometimes it is difficult for us to comprehend the magnitude of the toll the abortion holocaust has taken in America over the past 35 years. When one says that over 50 million children have been slaughtered by legalized abortion since January 22, 1973, the numbers just don't seem to register. Below is a map of the United States of America indicating the number of states that would have their populations totally wiped out if war were to come to our shores and 50 million people were killed.

I'm so sad that the world is coming to this!  It just makes my heart ache to think what God must be feeling... to look at this world that HE created becoming so corrupted and awful!! 

I loved what blessedmamaof10 said at her blog about the movie Amazing Grace (if you haven't seen this movie you should!!), Wilberforce wasn't many voices, he was only one, but he was able to help to abolish slavery with making his voice be heard!  We may not be a very powerful person, but we can inspire others and eventually we will be a strong force for good and for GOD!! 

Please pray for this nation today, pray for the young women are pregnant, pray that they will make the right choice and choose life!

On a lighter note... (another hat-tip to Crystal for this one ;) here is the amazing story of a woman who CHOSE LIFE!

RAMBLING THANKFUL THOUGHTS!

Oh, what a great-busy week... with so much to be grateful for!!  Last night we got about 5 inches of snow, very WET snow I might add... JUST what we needed!!  Last night I was sitting on the couch reading a lamplighter book (Clean Your Boots Sir?) that I just got and I was just thinking how incredibly GRATEFUL I am for a nice warm house and warm clothes!  Sometimes I get a little bit ungrateful for my trials but then I think "Heavenly Father chose for ME of all people to be born at this time, to be born into a christian family, to be among the top 1% of the world's richest people, and to have a life that is so richly blessed!!"  Yes I have my difficulties and hardships just like everyone else, and sometimes I think that I just can't handle anymore.  BUT I don't have to be the one that handles it!  During this summer I learned that I can't do it myself, but I need to wholly rely on CHRIST!!  Lately whenever I am getting a bit down, I just start thinking of my many blessings... you know, there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for!  I have been working so hard on becoming a grateful/cheerful person, I want to be like the people that are always able to see the silver lining in EVERY cloud!!

Here are some rambling thoughts from this week:

* I had a piano recital this week for my 7 (soon to be 9 students!!) that went SO well!!  Yes they all had their little mistakes and they may not have remembered everything we worked on... but I just am so grateful for their cute, little smiling faces!  One of the little girls went up and played her solo and then just went right into the duet that we were supposed to play together, I realized that she didn't have her music so I was trying to find it... but then I was just fine with her playing it by herself (as I was playing 7 duets!), but then she realized her mistake and was crying through the rest of the recital.  So her mom asked if we could play it together... and it went great.  After the recital was over and I was saying my few words that I usually say, I felt promted to tell a little story that happened to me... I was playing at a competition/juding event and I completly forgot my 6 page song!!  I sat there for about a minute and then remembered where I was... I felt so embarrased but my piano teacher came up to me after and told me that EVERYONE makes mistakes, and that a famous pianist once said that after we make mistakes the song sounds even sweeter than before.  Do you ever find that??  Life after mistakes is so much sweeter... especially if we turn to the ONE that can take those mistakes away!

* I've also had something on my mind for a LONG WHILE... what has happened to the dolls of this world?  There used to be adorable dolls that made you want to squeeze them and hold them tight... just as any baby would make you want to do!  I read on someone's blog about an article that Doug Phillips (Vision Forum) wrote intitled "DOLL WARS"...  I haven't read all of this amazing article, but I read enough to be HORRIFIED of the dolls that girls play with now!  You just have to read this empowering article!!  Here is a quote that really gets you thinking!  "Our culture is engaged in a battle for the heart and soul of the family. It is even reflected in the present doll wars. At stake is whether the play life of our children will reflect efforts to rebuild a culture of virtuous boyhood and girlhood, or whether it will focus on training the next generation of me-centered, empowered, feminists."  What does the play of your children represent??  Even though I am 19 yrs old... I still have a doll!!  I love to do her hair and dress her.  I don't do it very often, but she sits on my bed everyday!!  Dolls (at least the good ones) represent purity, goodness and innocence!  What are the dolls that they make now representing??  Can we show to the world that we are different from them in the way that we dress, talk, act and PLAY????!!!

* Last of all I found this great quote by Tasha Tudor on someone's blog... "I enjoy doing housework, ironing, washing, cooking, and dishwashing.  Whenever I get on of those questionnaires and they ask what your profession is, I always put down housewife.  It's an admirable profession, why apologize for it.  You aren't stupid because you're a housewife.  When you're stirring the jam you can read Shakespeare."  I am SO EXCITED to someday become a wife and mother and be able to do chores for my own family!!  I can't exactly explain why... but I just LOVE doing laundry!!  I love filling up the washer, folding clothes, and the incredible feeling that comes from EMPTY LAUNDRY BASKETS!!!  Women need never think that the art of homemaking, and the incredible responsibility of bearing and raising children is something of little of no worth.  The world may think that we are silly for staying home... but does it really matter what they think anyway?!  I almost get giddy thinking of the joys of motherhood!!  TO ALL OF YOU WONERFUL MOTHERS OUT THERE... keep of your amazing work of mothering!  The world needs more mothers like you!!  And I pray that someday it will be the Lord's will for me to join your ranks!!  

Sorry for the long rambling thoughts... my heart is just so full it was overflowing!!  Have a blessed day, and enjoy feeling the wonderful feelings of JOY and PEACE that come from the celebration of CHRIST'S birth!!!

Alex      

To Stay At Home is Best!!

Stay, stay at home, my heart, and rest;
Home-keeping hearts are happiest,
For those that wander they know not where
Are full of trouble and full of care;
To stay at home is best.

Weary and homesick and distressed,
They wander east, they wander west,
And are baffled and beaten and blown about
By the winds of the wilderness of doubt;
To stay at home is best.

Then stay at home, my heart, and rest;
The bird is safest in its nest;
O'er all that flutter their wings and fly
A hawk is hovering in the sky;
To stay at home is best.

~ Longfellow

Isn't that just a wonderful poem??  I just LOVE being at home!  I love being with family, I love learning things to prepare myself for my future home, I love being here to help my mom, I just love being at home!!  There was a time (when I went to public school part-time) that I didn't love home... I loved friends, etc.  But God wasn't finished with me yet!!  I've changed SO much over the past 4-5 years!!  My mom got this book for Christmas one year and I just devoured it!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!

I hope that you all had a WONDERFUL thanksgiving... we sure did!!  We had dinner at our house this year with my grandparents, some uncles and cousins (my aunts are in europe right now!).  I even tried my hand at my very first pumpkin pie.  I've made different pies before, but never pumpkin... it turned out great!  I was especially worried because I made an all natural crust (wheat flour, butter, one of our very own eggs too!!).  I even tried a raw pumpkin pie that was... well, interesting!!  I think if I changed one slight thing it would be delicious!!  It has a delicious crust of crushed almonds, dates, coconut and honey... very tasty by itself!! 

Usually we don't spend anytime saying things that we're grateful for or anything like that... but this year I was determined to change it!!  I read the book "The Light and the Glory" a couple years ago and read about how the pilgrims had survived on 5 kernels of corn and thanked God... compared to what happened in Jamestown, that is amazing!  I had read in Little House on the Prairie how they had kernels of corn on their plates to remind them of what the pilgrims went through for us and how incredibly blessed we are!!  So last night I parched some corn (very good!) and this afternoon put 5 kernels on each plate.  Then before we said the prayer and started eating I told (very briefly) about how the pilgrims lost so many people the first year, then after their harvest had the first thanksgiving to thank God for HIS hand in their lives.  That winter more people came to Plymouth... but without any supplies.  The pilgrims had to share their already limited food, and eventually were down to a ration of 5 kernels of corn a day.  "The more adversity mounted against them, the harder they prayed - never giving in to despair, to murmuring, to any of the petty jealousies that split and divide.... As always they had a choice: either to give into bitterness and despair or to go deeper in Christ.  They chose Christ." (light and the glory)  And so must we!!  May we always be grateful, not just on Thanksgiving day... may we choose to have a thankful attitude all the time and remember from whom all blessings flow... our loving HEAVENLY FATHER!!!!

waiting on God's timing...

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried. 
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied. 

 I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate, 
And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait!"

 "'Wait?' you say, wait!" my indignant reply. 

 "Lord, I need answers, I need to know why! 
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard? 
By FAITH I have asked, and am claiming your Word.  

 "My future and all to which I can relate 
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to WAIT? 

 I'm needing a 'yes,' a go-ahead sign, Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.  

 "And Lord, you promised that if we believe 
We need but to ask, and we shall receive. 

 And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry: 
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!"

  Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate 
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait." 

 So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut 
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting. . .for what?"  

 He seemed then to kneel and His eyes wept with mine, 
And he tenderly said, "I could give you a sign. 

 I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun. 
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run. 

 All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be. 
You would have what you want--but, you wouldn't know ME.  

 "You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint; 
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint; 

 You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair; 

 You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there; 

 You'd not know the joy of resting in me 
When darkness and silence were all you could see.  

 "You'd never experience that fullness of love 
As the peace of my Spirit descends like a dove; 

 You'd know that I give and I save. . .(for a start), 
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of my heart.

 "The glow of my comfort late into the night. 

 The faith that I give when you walk without sight, 
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked 

Of an infinite God, who makes what you have LAST.

  "You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee, 
What it means that 'My grace is sufficient for thee.' 

 Yes, your dreams for your loved ones overnight would come true, But, oh, the loss! 

 if I lost what I'm doing in you!  

 "So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see 
THAT THE GREATEST OF GIFTS IS TO GET TO KNOW ME.

  And though oft may my answers seem terribly late, 
My wisest of answers is still but to WAIT."

~ Author Unknown
 

Isn't that such a wonderful poem?  I first read it last year and it helped me a lot in realizing that

sometimes the greatest answer it to WAIT!!  I'm still waiting on many things as I'm sure all of us are...

 but I'm trying to use the time of waiting to become more like CHRIST and to develop a heart like HIS!!   

my wondering thoughts...

IS IT REALLY A WASTE??

Yesterday we had our annual service day where we take dinner to different widows/widowers in our area and visit with them.  We don't celebrate halloween and this is our way to help to spread goodness on that day.  I usually have such a feeling of darkness on halloween, but taking the advice of someone (I can't remember who! but thank you!) I spent the whole day with a prayer in my heart, pleading that we would be able to fill the day with goodness, and it was a great day!!  We usually play the piano for them if they want and at one lady's house (she has a GRAND PIANO!!) we always stay a very long time.  Anyway, on to what I wanted to say, last year she asked me if I was going to go to school to become a concert pianist (something I have thought of, but decided against) and this year she wouldn't stop saying that I need to go to school and become a concert pianist!!  She said that it is a waste for me to just stay home with such talent (ha, she should hear my friends!!).  BUT IS IT REALLY A WASTE???!???!  I was the organist in my ward for about 4 years, I've been the choir pianist for years, and now I'm playing the piano in the primary (so much fun!!).  I've played in rest homes, at baptisms, funerals, etc.  One lady even told me that my piece helped her bad day go better.  I've tried to use this talent as I think that Heavenly Father would want me to... and I DON'T THINK IT'S A WASTE AT ALL!!!  I don't think that my mission in life is to be a concert pianist, but I think that music can really soften people's hearts, touch their souls and (good music ;) can help you to feel closer to CHRIST!!

IS IT A WASTE??  I THINK NOT!!!!