A Quiet Little Woman

Courtship: A pure, whole heart

One of the most frightening things now days is how quickly and often people change from one boyfriend/girlfriend to another!!  To quote a girl I once heard "he changes his crushes as often as he changes his pants!"  What state is this world in??

A couple of years ago I stumbled across a small book called "The Three Weavers".  This book started my heart on a journey that I'm still on!  It is a story of three girls who are born to three weavers who are neighbors and friends.  When they are born, an lady comes and gives them a gift of a loom, and the girls' job is to weave a cloak for the prince that will someday come to marry them.  One of the girls just wastes her weavings on the common boys in the neighborhood, another falls in love with a shepherd... but the third has a wonderful father who teaches her to save her weaving for the prince that is someday coming for her.  She keeps a yard-stick in her window that has the measurements of a true prince on it... multiple people come and she asks "is he the one?"  But they never measured up to the true measurement of a prince.  Finally her prince comes and she is able to marry him because she has made a cloak fit for a prince, while the other girls can't go with the princes' that have come for them, because they gave their weavings away until they didn't have any left.

I had done the very same thing when I was younger... given my heart away little by little until I don't know how much I had left.  About the same time that I came across "The Three Weavers", I came across a book called "Emotional Purity".  This book is life-changing!  I would highly recommended it to ANYONE, everyone has something they can learn from its pages!  Little by little God had been tutoring me, and teaching me the joys of having a whole heart to give to my future husband and the importance of emotional purity (for a great object lesson of purity of the heart, visit the emotional purity blog).  

One of the most important things that I learned was from a video called "Victory over the dating spirit".  This WONDERFUL video taught me that I was SO guilty of a dating spirit,  BUT the most important thing that I learned was that I could ask GOD to give me a full, new, and completely pure heart for my future husband!  I am so grateful that the atonement of Jesus Christ that makes this possible!  

BUT, lets be honest with ourselves and our very human hearts... sometimes there are people that you just REALLY like and you can't seem to get out of your mind!  What do you do then when you are honestly and truly trying to keep your heart pure and whole and you just can't seem to overcome?  The simple answer is to PRAY!!  There is a certain young man that used to come to my church, and every time that I would see him it would be such hard work to get him out of my mind.  I couldn't stop the feelings from rushing into my heart, but I certainly prayed my HARDEST for help to keep my heart pure.  I would pray that those feeling would be taken away unless he is the person that I'm supposed marry.  It usually isn't right away that it happens, but over time, the feelings that hurt my heart so bad are lessened and then my heart is filled with a simple sisterly love.  I'm by no means perfect, but I'm trying... and that's all that we can do!  It's part of our test here on earth, to see if we can overcome the natural man and conquer our emotions.  Here are some simple things that we can do to keep our heart pure and whole for our future spouses!   

*        Remember that a dating spirit is where you allow your mind to wander and wonder.  If you want to have a WHOLE heart to give to your future spouse, you can start today by not thinking about anyone in a romantic way.  One of the things that has helped me most is to think of all men as my brothers!  

*        Something that I have done to help me stop having a dating spirit and start loving my future spouse with all my heart, is to keep a journal where I write him letters.  Sometimes my heart has been so full of love and longing, and instead of wasting those feelings on someone or something, I pour out my heart onto paper!  I can’t wait to give it to him when we are married and talk to him about the struggles I had waiting for him and the pleasure I had in writing to him, even when I didn’t know who HE was!

*        Another thing that I love to do is to pray for my future husband.  I started doing this a few years ago and I’ve only missed a couple of nights.  Sometimes I pray for specific things, like courage or strength, but usually I just pray that God will bless him wherever he is and in whatever he is doing!  Besides praying for your future spouse in your kneel-down prayers you can pray for them whenever you are tempted by someone else.  There was one time when I was pressing cider and there were some young men working with us, and I started thinking some dating spirit thoughts.  But when I realized what I was doing I turned those thoughts to my future husband.  I prayed that he would be blessed with strength and started thinking how much fun it will be when he is working beside me... maybe even helping me with cider!!

*    And one last thing that you can do is to get a purity ring.  They are very  simple yet they are great for helping you remember to keep your heart pure, and also to help you remember that your thoughts need to be centered on GOD! (go to www. generationsofvirtue.com to see these beautiful rings!)

Just remember that our hearts are very human things, but God can help to overcome our dating spirits if we will just ask.  And if our hearts have been left with different people, he can give us a whole, new one so we can once again be blessed with a WHOLE, PURE HEART!! 

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08:01, Tuesday, April 22, 2008 .. Posted by GoofyMamma

That is an awesome post and I'm going to have my 14 year old daughter read it because she is striving for the same thing. Keep up the good work it's well worth the wait.
Blessings,
Kim

dating

09:17, Tuesday, April 22, 2008 .. Posted by HandmaidenAlli

Hey i am 15 turning 16 in July. A couple of weeks ago I broke up with a boy I was going out with because I noticed that I had to keep my heart clean for the Man He created for me. So I am also striving to have a clean heart.

Alli

Hello

03:07, Tuesday, April 22, 2008 .. Posted by Scattertheseeds

Thank you for sharing all this, you insights and thoughts are very helpful. I've been pouring over this topic for the last couple of years. Before You Meet Prince Charming is a book we are working through now. When my daughter was younger I gave her A Princess Kiss and we have other materials as well. You had some excellent points thank you for sharing them for all to read.

Little Woman

10:32, Thursday, April 24, 2008 .. Posted by littlewoman

Thanks! You are so right, I know Gods way is the best way! But some times it is hard to except. I really liked this post! That is a great idea with the letters. I will be praying for you also.
Sarah

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10:47, Thursday, April 24, 2008 .. Posted by ByHisForgiveness

What a beautiful wonderful post... from a beautiful wonderful young godly woman... YOU!! Thank you so much for giving the rest of us hope that there still are some pure young women in the world today.

God bless your pure heart~ Andrea

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12:42, Friday, April 25, 2008 .. Posted by a1health

Do you have any brothers? The reason I am asking is that I have a 14 year old son that is caught up in the world and having girlfriends and dating. I'm not sure how to teach him without looking like the oldfashioned ridiculously overprotective Mom.
Thanks,
~Farrah

good post

10:44, Monday, April 28, 2008 .. Posted by blessedmomof10

Wonderful post! That is what we are aiming for here at home with our children! :) Wish the rest of the world understood this principle of keeping our hearts. I encourage my children to live for the Lord daily ~ marriage will come in time, but to focus on the Lord and serving Him and nto to focus unduly on "who" their future spouse will be! God will bring them to them in His perfect time! Meanwhile they cam be doing much to serve the King of Kings here and now!

Bless you!

I linked to you

09:06, Thursday, May 1, 2008 .. Posted by Scattertheseeds

I linked to your post, I hope you don't mind.

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11:45, Wednesday, May 7, 2008 .. Posted by Mennobrarian

This is refreshing to read. I am glad you are still blogging- your voice is so important and your message glorifies God.
Blessings,
Monica