A Quiet Little Woman

Courtship: What is the difference between courtship and dating?

Sorry this post has been so long in coming, life has been a little crazy here lately!  We had a surprise snowstorm and my angora rabbits got wet, so I had to bring them in and blow-dry them (he-he ;), then one of our goats got REALLY sick and we were afraid that she was going to die, but we fixed her up only to then have her dry up on us!  So, we gave her some blessed thistle and walnuts and she is fine now (be sure to keep that in mind all you goat keepers, and if you have other helps for us, we would love it!).  So, on to courtship... 

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In an article I found about the difference between courtship and dating, it says that "dating" only started about 80 years ago, around when the car was invented.  Before that time (as in old-fashioned stories), the young ladies weren’t allowed to be alone with young men and had to have chaperones, while the young men had to ask the father’s permission to court or even to see his daughter.  When young people were given the liberty of leaving their families to go “out” with someone, things started changing.  At the same time that cars were invented and things started moving from families to individuals, women’s suffrage was happening and I personally believe (feel free to contradict this opinion or ask me questions) that all of this was part of Satan’s plan to ruin families. 

So what is the difference between courtship and dating??  Well, to get started here are 5 things taken from the book “Old-fashioned Courtship and How it Works Today” by Jeff and Marge Barth:

1)      “The main element that makes courtship different from dating is that it involves parental input, counsel, and guidance from both sides of the relationship; whereas dating generally does not consider parental advice as necessary, important or even all that desirable.”  They go on to state several examples from the bible where parental guidance was one of the key factors: Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel, and Boaz and Ruth.  “Contrasting to those successful examples we see with Samson what may be considered a clear example of our modern cultural practice of dating.  In fact, in Scripture we do not find a single example of what might be considered a successful relationship resulting from a dating type arrangement such as: Samson, Dinah, Esau, and Genesis 6:1-3.”

2)     “Courtship doesn’t begin until both young people reach a marriageable age, whereas dating commonly occurs among teens who are nowhere near the age where they would be able to make a wise decision about a life partner.”

3)     “Unlike the often temporary design of dating, courtship is primarily intended to be the beginning of a permanent relationship; it should be entered into with each side having the intentions that the purpose for the courtship is that it will consummate in marriage.” 

4)     Courtship involves more than just finding a Godly young person to spend time with and eventually marry; but finding someone that will complete and complement them.    

5)  Courtship requires and builds faith in those involved – a relationship where young people are trusting God to work his perfect plan.  Whereas dating involves little faith or discernment and is often guided by passions, emotions, and immature self-gratification.

So, to sum it up, the main differences between courtship and dating are: parental guidance, waiting 'til you are old enough for marriage, intending the relationship to be the beginnings of a PERMANENT relationship, finding (well, actaully allowing GOD to find ;) someone that will complete and complement you, and last, but definatly NOT least... courtship requires more than just being there, but it requires and builds faith! 

People in the world don't even care about any of the above 5 things... dating is very, very ME-CENTERED!!  As a christian, isn't it my duty to glorify God in everything, even every relationship in my life?  I think that one of the most pathetic things ever is to see little girls having crushes on boys, and not even having their parents care, in fact, they think it's cute!  I have one little piano student (a boy age 8) ask me about every week... do you have a boy friend?  And another student (a girl also age 8) ask me... aren't you in love with someone??  And the answer to both of those questions is a loud and definate NO!  There are people that I think are amazing and like a lot, but I want Heavenly Father to write my perfect love story... so I wait and prepare my hardest and meanwhile... learn to love God more! 

I think that the most important difference between dating and courtship is that in courtship... YOU TRUST GOD!!  May we learn to trust God more in every area of our lives... even the area of romance!

Watch for the next part of this series... keeping your heart pure!!

Untitled Comment

07:34, Thursday, April 17, 2008 .. Posted by ourlilhomestead

Wow .... we really are kindred spirits!! Thanks for stopping by my blog. I am excited to read yours. I will add you as my friend as soon as I'm done posting this comment. I look forward to getting to know you & reading your blog.
Blessings to you!

Little Woman

07:14, Friday, April 18, 2008 .. Posted by Anonymous

Amen! Gods time is the perfect time!
Sarah