A Quiet Little Woman

Waiting for Courtship...

Today some good friends of ours came to our house, and my mom asked me to come in and tell the mother about my journey to courtship... where was I supposed to start!?!  I kind of stumbled over my words a lot and she seemed kind of bored, but all during the conversation she kept asking me... "Well, is it okay to date??"  What am I supposed to say when my answer would be NO, but she obviously wants YES as an answer??  I told her how we need to place the pen for our love story in God's hand and not keep trying to write our own.  Have any of you ever read "When God Writes Your Love Story"?  It is my most favorite book on courting... well, not exactly on courting, but more on waiting!  I just went through a little bit of an interesting situation awhile ago, I was committed to courtship, but then this young man asked me on a date and I said yes and then we invited him over to our house to try to make it more family centered.  I went on three dates with him and had him over quite a bit, but I had SUCH uneasiness!  I prayed and fasted about whether I was supposed to continue to date him, and the answer was NO.  He called later that week and asked me out again and I said that I couldn't that week and he asked if that meant never... SO I had to tell him about courtship to explain myself!  It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but good to have to tell someone.  That night I wrote this "Courtship Commitment":

I, Alex.... am completely committed to COURTSHIP and waiting patiently for God's perfect will to unfold in my life.  I will use this season of singleness to come ever closer to Christ, to discover my mission, and to devote my life to serving God and others.  I will daily strive to remain emotionally pure and to keep all thoughts captive in Christ.  May Heavenly Father bless me in my efforts...

I am so much more committed to courtship now!!  It's kind of like the refiner's fire... Heavenly Father was testing me to see how committed I was, and now that I went through that I KNOW that I don't want to go through it again!  I just find it so interesting how God refines us and makes us more like HIM... this summer has been one of the hardest times EVER in my life!!  My mom got pregnant after trying for 2-3 years and then after bleeding for a few weeks had a miscarriage... we were all so sad, but learned that God's willing and timing ultimately is the best!  Now I have a little sister in heaven that is watching out for me!  During that time I was in charge of SO much at home!  I was working 20 hours a week, taking care of my mom and making sure the laundry and meals got done.  Then on top of it I got acne really bad (finally cleared up!).  I learned during this time that the only person that I can rely on is the SAVIOR!!!  When times would get hardest I would ask HIM for strength and HE strengthened me!!!!  Even though this summer has been hard... I have never been so close to HIM!!! 

WOW, this post kind of took a different turn than expected!!  Sorry about that!  I guess that what I was trying to get at is that try as my friend might to convince me that dating is the "right" way, I KNOW that it isn't!!  I am committed to courtship and waiting for my future husband whether I get married in 6 months or 6 years!!!  God is SO good to me!!! 

Alex 

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10:41, Friday, September 14, 2007 .. Posted by Kitty

Well my dear, you are a wise young lady, I would say wiser than your years. But I do have a question. In this Courtship, are you committed to one person already or are you waiting for God to send you this special person? And if you are waiting, how do you know that the guy you went on a date with wasn't who God sent to you? I am just trying to understand about this. I love reading your post and am very interested in this whole thing that you are writing about.
Kitty

Kitty,
Thanks for visiting! When I say that I am committed to courtship I just mean that I am waiting for the one that God has in mind for me... I don't know anyone that is commited to courtship with older children, mostly just young ones, BUT I know that if I wait then I will be greatly blessed!!

Part of my fasting and prayer was to ask if he was the one that I was supposed to marry and the answer was a definite NO!!! I don't know why, but I have to take the answers that come! If you have any other questions I would love to recommend some books or email you. Let me know! Hope this makes sense!!

Alex

Edited by oldfashionedgirl on Friday, September 14, 2007 at 10:24

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11:26, Saturday, September 15, 2007 .. Posted by blessedmomof10

Alex,

I recall now that I read the book you mentioned a few years back..... I borrowed a copy from my friend, and this book was the *best* yet on courtship because it truly does place the full faith on the Lord for helping us find our spouses.......... as I have told you before I feel that fathers can err in this area....... but truly the Lord will not err in leading us to the person He has destined to be our eternal sweetheart!

You have a beautiful heart -- keep on keeping on!

Love,
Sis. Pickering

A wonderful post

10:30, Sunday, September 16, 2007 .. Posted by beverly

Reading your post reminded me so much of my oldest dd. She, too, is waiting on the Lord to pen her courtship. She says that when God sends the man He has for her into her life, she will know. In the meantime she is waiting, and doing so with an attitude of grace. May the Lord richly bless you for your patience and humility.

Beverly,
Your daughter sound like someone I would love to meet! Thank you for visiting! I liked what you said about waiting with an "attitude of grace", I hope that I can do the same!!
Alex

Edited by oldfashionedgirl on Wednesday, September 19, 2007 at 01:30