 |
Quiverfull Heart, One ArrowPosted on Wednesday 6 June 2007 at 10:14 AM in A Little Bit Of Everything - Post CommentForgive me while I have a little pitty party. What does one do when you have the heart for a large family and God only blesses you with one?My heart is just really heavy...again. Actually...still. I keep trying to give this over to the Lord...but it seems I just keep taking it back from Him. There has been a lot of discussion lately on various groups I'm on about the blessings of large families. And even though they don't mean to, they talk as if having just one child is actually harmful. Even in church and our homeschool group I feel that we are sometimes alienated because we don't have more than one child...or childless. Recently we had a mom who had just moved to the area join a local on-line homeschool group I'm on. From her post I thought we might have a lot in common until she ended her introduction with "If you have 4 or more children, we'd like to meet and maybe get together to develop friendships." I rejoice with families like the Duggars as they announce they are having another to their large family, while I secretly morn not being able to have just one more in my little family. My own Aunt had 13. Then I feel guilty and selfish for not being thankful enough for the one blessing I do have. I do love and adore my little man Boo and I am thankful that God allows me to be his mother. Sometimes I feel really alone in raising an only child. Homeschoolers with bigger families are usually busy enough with their own activities so it can be a challenge to get together with them. It's hard to talk to other moms about the unique challenges of raising an only child...though they often sympathize, very few of them really understand. As I see 40 approching very quickly...in August...it seems my dream of a large family is fleeting just as quickly. I try to understand why back in February God had a reason to take the little blessing we though we were going to welcome. Hubby doesn't feel led to adopt. We also don't have any family living less than a 3 hour drive (we moved away a couple years ago because of Hubby's work). I feel like it's a cruel joke, yet in my head I know that God's plans and timing for my life and family is perfect and I know I have to trust in that.
|
|