Angie's Answer

Wound up Today

11:04, Friday, March 14, 2008 .. 0 comments .. Link

Today I had several ideas about what I would blog. I had no idea that today would bring such a wide range of emotions though before setting down to write. I am sure knowing that this blog is out there now has me a little anxious although I remind myself not to be anxious for anything. My friends M & N would say “What are you so afraid of? What’s the worse that could happen?” I guess there are worse things than making a mockery of yourself but that ranks pretty high up there with me.
Regardless today is more than just that. I am wanting something. Comfort perhaps. I have that with the Lord. Really I do. But I guess I have built this habit of going to food when I feel vulnerable, worried, or lonely. Today I found out my brother was in a motorcycle wreck and crushed his lower leg into his knee. It will take 3 months before he can put weight on it again. This hits me in the gut because this is the little brother I have always felt responsible for. This puts him out of work for at least 5 months and you can imagine what financial difficulties that might cause. There are other concerns on my mind too about my family long distance. I can not solve the problems or even drive over to see them (it’s at least an 8hr. trip to any of them). I am also have to really watch my thinking today as well. Seems like I have walked in such victory for the last few days and here all these negative thoughts come. Even though I know I have lost some already, it does not FEEL like it yet, so the feeling of being FAT has been hard to ignore today. So what would I do in the past with all these emotions? Eat! Usually chocolate. But I do not want that right now. I’m not sure why. I am surprised by that and I wonder if it is because of my dear friend who has covenanted to pray for me. My insides have been in a turmoil for the latter part of the day and yet I am still resolved to make wiser choices with my eating. James and I shared a pizza and watched Pride and Prejudice this evening. I wanted another slice of pizza (esp. since we got the yummy veggie pizza ... the one the kids hate), but I was able to resist it fairly easy. Thank you Lord. I made it through another day.
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