Abundant Blessings Homestead

11 weeks.....

Feeling a bit blue....we lost our babe at 11 weeks. I had thought I might be pregnant again...until I got my cycle again last week. I went so far as to change my due date on the Baby Center e-mails. One came in just now...11 weeks.

See, our wee one went to Jesus on February 13th. I had a cycle beginning March 15th. Then...nothing. 9 weeks passed...I just knew the Lord had blessed us again. I was queasy, gagging and tired. All my normal prego feelings. I did a few tests...all negative. Then my midwife told me that tests get less sensitive over time..the tests I had used expired in 2006. So, my optimistic mind let me believe the test was just wrong. The last test I did was Saturday, May 19th. At that point, I was 9 weeks late. The test was negative. But, still no cycle.

Until before church the next day. When I saw evidence of a cycle, I was so distraught. All of my hopes were shattered. The tears, they just flowed. My Honey, my Mr Steady, just held me and prayed. I was so sad. All that sadness from our miscarriage came rushing back in.

I went to church that day needing a touch. And the Lord, in all His grace, touched me. The pastor laid hands on me, anointing my head with oil. I cried through most of the service. I was pouring myself out to God. And He was meeting me there.

I came to realize over the next week that my way of "dealing with" our loss was to throw my heart into another blessing. That we had been blessed again somehow made it easier to get over my grief.

Truly dealing with it this time, I have given my tears and grief to the Lord. He is still on the throne even when I don't understand. Even when it hurts. Even when my human mind can't comprehend. He's the One. He's the lifter of my head. He's the restorer of my soul.

And how sweet of my Lord to send me this song...we sang it that day in church and it so soothed me....and now it's playing on the Yahoo music station!

Power of Your Love...

So, I was doing fine until this e-mail comes in to tell me about being 11 weeks pregnant. I am crying..but gentle tears of what could have been. What I dreamed of having. What I still dream of having.

Life is sure filled with its share of ups and downs. I am ready for a mountaintop now!!!

sending my love

{ 06:52, Thursday, May 31, 2007 } { Posted by Cathy }

Laurie,
You are one special lady....the Lord will bless you and Toby again soon. Praying with you and love you.
Cathy

song

{ 07:14, Thursday, May 31, 2007 } { Posted by mccrjill }

I love that song too. We sing it at church. God bless you as you cast all your cares on Him Who cares for you!! I was glad to find the Italian Salad Dressing recipe on your blog - thanks! Jill

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{ 07:44, Thursday, May 31, 2007 } { Posted by chimicole }

{{{ LAURIE }}}
Many hugs and prayers to you .

Love you,
Julie :)

Praying....

{ 08:13, Thursday, May 31, 2007 } { Posted by jocelyndixon }

So sorry for your loss and pray that God gives you peace in this time that is hard for you and your family!

Blessings,
Jocelyn

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{ 09:54, Thursday, May 31, 2007 } { Posted by HillmanAcres }

(((Laurie))) I don't know what to say except I love you and hope that you will continue to be comforted. I hope so much that you will one day be blessed with another baby...until then I will pray for you, think of you, and cry with you...

Love,
Leah

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{ 10:01, Thursday, May 31, 2007 } { Posted by Deblyn }

Laurie,

I am so sorry for you loss! I know that must be so difficult. I do understand the desire to have babies and getting your hopes up only to have them dashed. I also know as you do, that God is the God of comfort and strength. He is so faithful to get you through! (((hugs)))!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings and the words of that beautiful song!

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{ 11:45, Thursday, May 31, 2007 } { Posted by GrandmaRosie }

Hold on to Jesus little one. He knows your pain and sorrow. God's timing is not always ours. Prayers and hugs to you.

I'm sorry ....

{ 11:12, Friday, June 1, 2007 } { Posted by Jonash2004 }

It is interesting to me how God works in the lives of different people ....

I lost our second the end of January. I was scared that God didn't mean for us to have more, but when I realized I might be getting pg again mid-Feb, I was almost angry. Didn't He realize I needed more time to heal?

God knew best.....

I just blogged a bit about my loss, as much as I was able. A friend made me a baby quilt, and I posted pictures.

I'm sorry, it must be almost like loosing two babies ..... loosing the dreams twice now....

Ashley

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{ 10:11, Saturday, June 2, 2007 } { Posted by blessedmomof10 }

So very sorry!

May the Lord carry you at this sad time.......

gloria