Abundant Blessings Homestead

A week ago...

A week ago tonight, we were happy and pregnant...full of hope for our new little blessing. A week ago tonight, I couldn't sleep and was up till midnight. A week ago tonight, at 2am, I awoke to find that our babe was no longer...and we wept...we bawled...we sobbed....we held each other....we talked....we cried more. And we were so blessed. The outpouring of love and support that we have been given is incredible to us. So many ladies told us their stories of loss. We had no idea so many had been through the same heartache we have...

We were blessed with meals, but more importantly, with support. And covered in prayer. We have drawn closer to each other..and to God. He is sovereign even when we don't understand. He has a plan for our life...even when we can't see it. We know our babe is in Heaven awaiting us. What a day that will be! To finally meet this angel we were given the priveledge of carrying for 11 weeks.

It is still hard for me...I still cry at most anything...I am writing this through tear filled eyes. I saw a brand new tiny baby at the store yesterday...and promptly went to the bathroom and lost it. It is so incredibly hard to see babes...and know that I will not hold mine. But, I come back to the Lord. He has a plan....

We are encouraged that we may still have another babe. That so many of those who have experienced this loss have gone on to have another babe. As much as that encourages me, I also have to keep reminding myself that this may never be. We may have all the blessings we are to have. If that is the case, we are indeed abundantly blessed. We have the most wonderful children ever. They are our pride and joy...and our whole world. If Mary is our last babe, we will rejoice in the fact that we have been blessed 4 times. But...that desire will always be there...to be blessed again. To feel a life growing inside of me again. To feel the kicks, the movements. To hope and dream of his/her future. To see the look of awe on Honey and our children's faces when they meet the newest member of our family. To hold a sweet newborn and drink in its wonderful smell. To see those tiny little hands and feet...with those incredibly tiny fingers and toes. Yes, that desire will always remain with me. But, I must submit it to God's authority and remember that He is the one who gives life.

Thank you for the prayers and encouragement you have offered. It is felt...and it is extremely appreciated. A time that was so dark and so lonely was made a little brighter...thanks to you. This will be a tough night...remembering the events that are still so vivid in my mind.

I bid you good night...as I try to shut off my mind and get some much needed sleep.

He Brings Joy in the Morning

{ 09:19, Monday, February 19, 2007 } { Posted by UnlikelyHomesteader }

May you continue to be blessed with a peace that surpasses all understanding.

I am so sorry for your loss. Saying a prayer for you all.
Blessings,
~Nancy

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{ 10:29, Monday, February 19, 2007 } { Posted by bobbie78 }

I am so sorry for your loss. That is devastating. I will pray for you and yours. Please keep your chin up and try to keep going. God bless you.

my sweet friend

{ 11:07, Tuesday, February 20, 2007 } { Posted by Cathy }

Laurie,
Just wanted to let you know I think of you daily and always have you all in my prayers. You are a wonderful family and such a dear friend.
Love to you all,
Cathy

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{ 09:17, Wednesday, February 21, 2007 } { Posted by HillmanAcres }

Oh (((((Laurie)))))) I so wish wish wish things turned out differently...your emotions come through your words so strongly, and I just wish I could come over and give you a real hug. Stay strong in Jesus, let him comfort you and be your rock!!!

I love you!
Leah

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{ 01:59, Thursday, February 22, 2007 } { Posted by Lorraine }

I am so sorry for your loss. It is such a devastating event when a child is lost. I have lost 2 babaies, one at full term - and it still hurts to think about it. My prayers are with you and your family.