I'm reading this book (that I received from that most wonderful place Paperbackswap.com)and I love the whole idea of breastfeeding. I have had four children and have tried to bf the three that lived, but to no avail. I've not had very much encouragement from my family so when I did hit hard times of latching on it was very hard for me to hear a clear voice telling me not to give up. I was so emotionally distraught at the time (because my house was a mess and not getting any cleaner!!!) and so uneducated I just gave in to the easy-ness of bottle feeding and missed out on the wonderful bond I KNOW the Lord is just waiting to give me if I can just stick it out and make it work no matter what. I'm so glad I got her book. If no one else will encourage me, she will. I will have to read and re-read the book over and over again so all that info can get on the inside of me so that next time I won't need to rely on some outside encouragement. I'll have enough in me to stnad myself up and say, I will not take anything less than success!!!!

     This last time I was trying I must have quit and re-started about five times...in one week!!!! It was crazy all the things I was coming up against. I'm like, why am I getting so beat up over the head with this!???!! It's just breastfeeding!!!! Why is it so hard for me!!?!?!? I wanted to scream and pull my hair out. When I did get it working it was the most wonderful feeling and I was so relaxed and calm...I think breastfeeding my children until they want to wean would totally change my parenting attitude. Usually I'm gruff and harsh. Breastfeeding seems to be the only thing that calms me down enough to just lavish love on my children. I felt so loving and amourous towards my other children while I was feeding my new baby. The loving feeling of providing her with the nourishment she needed overflowed to the other two and it was beautiful. Okay, so that's probably why I had such a hard time. Anyone ever heard of spiritual warfare over breastfeeding!??!?! Sheesh! The devil is really a low down sneaky monster. He's trying to steal a most wonderful experience from my family. I have decided no more! I'm not even near pregnant again, but I'm reading up now and preparing for the battle now so I can reign victorious with Jesus in my breastfeeding.  I'm determined to take back that ground. I've had enough of the canker worm eating up my blessing. Next time, I'm getting it all back!