Thunderwolf Ranch

Michelle and I do not agree on this

Michelle and I have a few things we disagree on (ok a lot), these are the ones.

1. is home schooling.  Michelle feels that her sisters do not socialize enough.  I told her that they just have different values than her.  Michelle said it is not values.  I explained to Michelle that due to her behavior at church , home schooling event, Friday school, 4h and such that the girls are mind full of the people they are around .  That they do not want to be judged for Michelle's wrong doings.  At 15 yrs old Michelle was caught at a Friday school class out in the parking lot making out with a 21 yrd old man. There is more and worse things.   But the girls (her sisters) do watch their friends and the people they are around.   I remember when our middle daughter went to the movies with a group of friends (not believers, or home schooled) and when it was over she called and asked if she could go hang out at her friends house for a while.  I said yes , but she walked in the door 20 minutes later.  She left because they started to drink and smoke.  She is not a person who likes that and does not want to be around stuff like that so she came home.  I think that is a good thing.  Michelle asked why did she not stay?  Michelle just does not get it.

Our children do serve at church, their choice not ours, they do things with their friends, have friends over and stuff.  They just are not into the kind of stuff that Michelle was at that age.  Michelle was into boys, sex, drinking, etc...    My daughters think it is fun to got to a park with a truck full of friends and sit on a block of ice and slide down a small hill .  They like to go to hockey games with their friends, go out to eat, see movies, go shopping, and do things with our church.  I do not see what they do as not being socialized.

#2. is we push our girls.  We do push our girls.  My middle daughter is 17 years old and is writing her 1st book, 2 magazines want her art work, and she is going to college and high school at the same time.  She has 405 high school credits and is a senior.  She only needs 220 credits to graduate high school.  She wanted to be a equine vet so she doubled up on her math and science.   Now she wants to do her art and be a vet tech.  We are fine with that.  We do not let them go to work at this time, the summer is ok.  There are a few places we told them they can work.  1 is at our vets office, he has been like a member of the family for over 20 years and he loves the girls like they are his own.  I remember when the baby (ok she is 16 yrs now, but still a baby) was up set about her pet that was going to pass.  Our vet just picked her up and sat her in his lap and held her while she cried.  2 is our local book store and 3 is our local feed store where we know the guys and they would watch out for them as they would their sisters.  And that is all at this time.

The baby is in 10th grade and has 230 credits.  She also is going to college and high school at the same time.  She is going to be a certified service dog trainer. 

We have never forced our children to do this it was their choice. They love to go to college.  They see it as getting some of it done early and spending less time in college after high school.   Is it wrong to prepare our children for the world?  They will be part of it , but not in it.  Both are looking at jobs they can do while living at home under dads and mine care.  And if it is need the can work from home after they are married.  They both plan on staying home until they are married. 

Am I off and Michelle is right?  Or am I right and Michelle is off?  I will admit I am protective (over ) but what mom would not be going through what I did with Michelle? 

God Bless, mj

Untitled Comment

{ 11:33, 2008-Apr-2 } { Posted by GrandmaRosie }

You sound right on to me. Michele sounds a bit rebellious, which comes with being 15.

Hello!

{ 06:28, 2008-Apr-3 } { Posted by LittleHouse }

What on-line courses are your girls taking for college? Or are they using books? My daughters are only a couple years away before they would like to start taking some college classes.

Thank you,

Ma

Edited by LittleHouse on 2008-Apr-3 at 08:29

Untitled Comment

{ 07:11, 2008-Apr-3 } { Posted by morningsunshine }

there might also be a seed of jealousy - that you did not take care of her like you are your other girls - do you not love her as much? was she not worth the time and effort from you to shelter and challenge? Not saying that I believe this, or even that Michelle would ever even admit to herself that she feels this way, but there might be a grain of that feeling deep inside her and it is coming out in her other comments.

Untitled Comment

{ 08:00, 2008-Apr-3 } { Posted by seventhheaven }

It comes down to this.... YOU are the mom and not your daughter. I here so much about socialization until i want to scream....... we should be careful who are kids are around and if your kids are happy then that settles it. Last year we had to make a painful decision regarding my daughter (then 12) and a friend she had since she was 7. This girl started showing signs of doing things as you described with your daughter. We decided that it would not be good for our daughter to hang around with her anymore. This was hard for several reasons. One my daughter did not understand, plus she lives on the street behind us. So we started by not letting her go to her house anymore. I also prayed that this girl would quit showing up and my daughter would see why we made our decision. God answered both prayers. Not to many months ago we found out that my daughters friend had become pregnant at age 13, this really shook my daughter and she came to us and thanked us for what we chose and said she understood now why we did it. I was so proud of her. So dont be afraid to stand up and let your kids know whats right even if they get upset. They will someday understand and thank you for it (even if you never hear the words.)

<i>Untitled Comment</i>

{ 08:41, 2008-Apr-3 } { Posted by Jonash2004 }

Like Morning said, I wonder if Michelle feels like that? I still wonder what on earth I did wrong that I drove a piece of crap car for 5+ years (then gave it back to my parents when it fell apart) but they replaced 6 (SIX!!!!) vehicles for my younger brother during the same time frame! He got he red 2-door I wanted, then a sleek blue 2-door with moon roof, two small pickups, a beautiful, rugged Jeep . . . another car . . .What? What did I do? All I did was fail to wreck the car they gave me and whenever I got stranded because no one took care of it for me I had a guy friend to tinker with it.

Weird. Anyway, I have to wonder what is going through her head as well.

Ashley

Edited by Jonash2004 on 2008-Apr-3 at 10:42

Untitled Comment

{ 01:28, 2008-Apr-3 } { Posted by ourlilhomestead }

Nah, you're absolutely right and she is way off! WTG mom .... you're doing a GREAT job!!!

Untitled Comment

{ 01:47, 2008-Apr-3 } { Posted by wannabeone }

Our best friends have had similar troubles w/their oldest dd. I don't think that she really realized how different they wanted their 'baby' dd to be until, when the youngest dd was about to turn 13, the dad was riding in the car w/the older dd and he asked her, "What do I have to do so that T doesn't end up like you?" That was a real turning point in their relationship...for the better! She hadn't realized what a strain HER life had been on her own family.

Since then, she and her dh have come to the Lord and have 2 beautiful little ones!

Blessings from Ohio, Kim Wolf<><

Untitled Comment

{ 04:44, 2008-Apr-4 } { Posted by Schatzi }

I can't even begin to comment on your post...I am in the midst of raising six children and one of them is getting married in June....let's just say we have our days....keep the faith and be on your knees....He will never fail you. I find it very hard to let go and allow them to make their own mistakes...sometimes our children need to fail so that they learn....some children learn very quickly and easily....others need to learn the hard way, and if we are always trying to protect them, they will never learn and everyone else will be to blame for their actions.....I'm off the soap box now:-)

Thanks for stopping by my blog...the African Stew...is basically chili minus the chili powder that most put in...we grill our garlic and onions, peppers and anything else like eggplant....zucchini...whatever I have in the frig at the time....we then lots of beans...black beans, kidney, white beans....then add our spices and the African pepper...which I'm not sure of the ingredients...but I know it has lots of hot pepper flakes mixed with other things....no idea....we will be very sad when the bottle is empty.....no way to get more. Maybe should try and come up with something that it resembles what we have now.

Have a blessed weekend.

Connie