Thunderwolf Ranch

Children and Grand babies help advice needed and prayer needed

My oldest daughter Michelle is having soooo much trouble! She is living with her boyfriend and where they live (her boyfriend rents a room) they do not babies in the house. So she ships them off to some else house different houses,it is rare for the babies to spend a night together. I have had the babies for over a week. She says I am babysitting, but when you babysit the babies go home. I told her I am raising them!! Before the past week I would have them most of the week but here grandma would take them for a day or two.  I am so frustrated with her!!!  She tells me she is trying to do what is best for the babies, but I tell her she is not. She should be doing her all to make sure the babies are with her every night and to pick up her babies as soon as she is off work. She tells me she can't have them where she lives, but she can live back at home or she can live with her grandma like she did before she decided to move in with her boy friend.  They are going to be moving in the next few weeks 200 miles away. She tells me she does not know when she can take the babies to the new place. I told her if the babies are going to be here I want guardianship to get them insured. She will not insure them!!!  She is able to get free medical insurance on the babies, but she says she will wait until they move to insure them. Hello you are not taking the babies how are you going to insure  them if you do not have them??? We have told her for close to a year if she would give us medical guardianship we will insure the babies.  My 2.5 year old grandson is 1 set behind in shots and my granddaughter who is 15 months is 3 sets behind in shots. I feed,clothe,buy the medicine they need, thank the Lord my family doctor sees the babies for free, when I go in to see him 1-2 times a week. I told her we will keep them for now because we are tired of the babies going from home to home, having different people care for them almost everyday. I told her it is not fair to the babies, they need a stable environment. She takes them away from us if we tell her she needs to spend more time with them than just dropping by to see them for 10-30 minutes when she feels like it. She needs to step up and be mom.  The babies call me and my 2 daughters at home mommy. Our granddaughter even call my hubby mommy and 1 of the dogs mommy.  Our 2.5 yr old grandson sees my 17 yr old daughter as his mom! She is the one who feeds him, changes him, potty trains him, she does everything !! he even has his own bed in her room, what can I saw those two are really bonded. Michelle got so mad at our grandson the other day, she wanted to take them for an hour and our grandson said no and ran to his auntie , Michelle got mad and took him from her and slapped the baby. I told her to knock it off it is her fault he sees his auntie as a mom, if she was the mom she should be this would have never happened!   I do not want my 17yr old to be a mom of a 2.5 yr old boy, but he needs a mom. Our granddaughter is verry attached to her mom because she takes her over to her boyfriends house when the landlord is not home, leaving our grandson here with with us and his auntie/mommy. I am at a loss as what to do. I want the babies to stay here until she is able to be the mother she should be. But on the other hand I be grandma not be the one who has to raise the grand babies. Her ex-husband does not see or support the babies and he moved out of state. He will be coming back here for court as he was busted for drugs!! My 17 yr old will be going to college next week and will be starting her 12 grade year, she does not need to be a mom to a 2.5 yr old. My grandson loves us all and spends time with us all but she(17 yr old daughter) is his mom. I do not want  to break that bond because he will not be having his mom take over. Our granddaughter is becoming more attached to me and my 15 yr old daughter, but she seams to know who mommy is when she is here, but when mom leaves it is back to us. She loves my hubby she follows that "mommy" around the house helping him do what ever, tapping him saying bubba and then gibberish. She just started calling him mommy the other day. We were all eating dinner at the table granddaughter tapped 17 yr old auntie saying mommy, my daughter pointed at me and said mommy, she she started tapping me saying mommy, then looked at hubby, my daughter and I pointed at hubby/daddy and said mommy and laughed. Our granddaughter laughed too then started calling him mommy. Today 1 of the house dogs became mommy.  Help I am at a loss as what to do. God Bless all m.j.

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{ 04:11, 2007-Aug-21 } { Posted by gokings13 }

This is going to sound harsh;

Turn her in to Child Protective Services.
Have the State provide you with the guardianship.

Your daughter has made her choices, and they are not what is in the best interest of the children.........Someone has to have the babies best interest in mind.
What she is doing is criminal.
When you know that she is doing it, and go along with it, it makes you an accomplice. If a stranger were to call CPS and told them that YOU knew and YOU did nothing, they will NOT give you guardianship.........the babies will go to strangers......

You are not alone. There are SO MANY kids, having babies, and shirking their responsibility. Do the right thing! Make that call.

Laura

***Anonymous*** Abuse comes in all shapes and sizes. It is child abandonment, mental and emotional abuse. Look at any site on child abuse. Just because there are no bruises or broken bones, doesn't mean there is no abuse. Mental and emotional abuse carries the SAME weight into adult years as physical and $exual.****

Edited by gokings13 on 2007-Aug-21 at 01:23

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{ 06:59, 2007-Aug-21 } { Posted by Anonymous }

I do not believe calling CPS is going to get the desired effect that the previous commenter seems to think it will. I can understand the heartache you must be feeling, not just for your grandchildren but for your daughter as well. Because you are providing a safe loving environment and the children are not being neglected I do not believe that CPS will get involved, the children are in no danger, besides calling CPS on your own child is well....I could see it if the children were with her and she was neglecting and endangering them but they aren't and she isn't. My best advice is to pray, give it over to the Lord and let him make the paths straight. I will be praying for all of you.

Tough Love!!!!

{ 07:21, 2007-Aug-21 } { Posted by SherKeith }

It's time for some"tough love". Your daughter has the best of all worlds...She's a mom (I certainly wouldn't call her behavior towards her children "motherly"!) when she WANTS to be! For the childrens sake it's time to get tough...Take them to your local Social Service office and tell them exactly what is going on...Don't forget to mention how she threatens to take the children away from you if you go against her... and ask for FULL CUSTODY until she gets her life in order! We have adopted two children through Foster Care who were treated very much like your grandchildren are being treated and if something isn't done to make this girl wake up, this is going to happen to your grandchildren too! Children need a STABLE life-style and they sure aren't getting it with your daughter! Be tough and God Bless. Hugs, Sher

Tough Love!!!!

{ 07:21, 2007-Aug-21 } { Posted by SherKeith }

It's time for some"tough love". Your daughter has the best of all worlds...She's a mom (I certainly wouldn't call her behavior towards her children "motherly"!) when she WANTS to be! For the childrens sake it's time to get tough...Take them to your local Social Service office and tell them exactly what is going on...Don't forget to mention how she threatens to take the children away from you if you go against her... and ask for FULL CUSTODY until she gets her life in order! We have adopted two children through Foster Care who were treated very much like your grandchildren are being treated and if something isn't done to make this girl wake up, this is going to happen to your grandchildren too! Children need a STABLE life-style and they sure aren't getting it with your daughter! Be tough and God Bless. Hugs, Sher

Sher Again

{ 07:44, 2007-Aug-21 } { Posted by SherKeith }

I don't know how I got two posting last time...Sorry about that! MJ what I also forgot to mention is if your daughter is getting any kind of State aid for the children and they aren't in her care, she is committing welfare fraud and she's going to be in BIG trouble for that! You HAVE to do something for the sake of those children because she will get turned in sooner or later and as another gal said, then it's to late and they'll go into foster care. Sher

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{ 05:47, 2007-Aug-21 } { Posted by meme21713 }

HI, i know the feeling and will send you a message. I have a step daughter with 4 children and she has none of them...I pray for you...debbie