I had a discouraging conversation with my mother this past weekend.  I had knee surgery last week and she stayed with me for a few days.  She called me on Tuesday and asked me if something was going on that I failed to tell her about while she was here - she had heard that she was going to be a grandmother again.  Not sure where she had heard this news, we eventually got to the discovery that I had mentioned to my cousin that I was no longer on birth control pills.  You see, I have passed the thought around for quite a well about whether I'm supposed to control the size of my family or whether that is something for God to determine.  So this past month, my husband and I decided that I would no longer take the pill.  Of course, I also just turned 41 last Monday.  I was raised with a somewhat feminist point of view as well as in the "it's all about me" generation.  So it has been a transition for me to see children as the blessing that they are rather than each one meaning a little less time for "ME".  I LOVE my children with all my heart, but this decision has been a very hard one for me to work my way into.  I started with the "maybe it IS up to God, but God is bigger than birth control pills so I'll just keep taking them and if he wants me to have more children, he will give them to me".  But that's not really trust, is it?  So I am stepping into the water and trying to really trust on this, and she throws up all of the fear issues for me - you have three children already, kids cost money, it's dangerous at your age to be having children, blah, blah, blah.  Except it really IS causing me to fear.  She's never been happy when I have told her I was pregnant (although she loves them dearly once they are here), and it has always been discouraging for me.  She thought it was a waste of my education to choose to stay home.  I know I shouldn't let that affect me, but somehow it does.  So, if there is anyone out there who stumbles across this and could offer some encouragement, I could sure use it.  Thanks.

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Posted by Marseeya

I so totally understand! My mother was, let's say, less than please with my 2nd pregnancy. She was quite rude, and it became a hurtful situation. I do not believe that was her intent but moms will be moms. Remember, If the Lord is leading you to do something it will often seem like foolishness to the world. Trust Him! He will not fail! Praying for you!
Marcia

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Posted by rildapeel1

Blessings dear one! Father give your daughter what she needs to find peace over this. I will not speak against your will although I only speak what you see as the plan for this daughter forth. Heaven is cheering her onward to the high calling you have for her. Whatever you show her that is what is pleasing unto you so she has victory. In Jesus' Holy Name!
lovingly, rilda *U*

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Posted by seventhheaven

I know exactly how you feel. I think no matter how old we get , we still want to make our parents proud of us. I also fight this disappointment with my mom. I dont think she would say so , but she's a perfectionist and im not by any means. My sister went to college and has a good paying job, and does everything more like what my mom calls success. When she introduces us she tells what my sis has done and then when she introduces me she says ' well, ( a pause here ) she has lots of kids' and laughs. As you I try my best not to let this bother me but often it does. Im still working on this one myself. I will add this has not affected my relationship with my sis. We are very close. I recognize that she has to live her life as she thinks God leads her.... And I respect her deeply.

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Posted by Tiredmamaof5

I popped over to your blog to say thanks for your comment and when I read your last post I could see myself in it...
My family has never been happy with any of my pregnancies, it didn't matter if I could afford them or not. And heck, if we stop and think about it for a moment, with any amount of money a person makes, can they really afford a child/children? Children are so expensive with any amount of money your family may have. But coming from a family with a low income doesn't matter. It just means you learn to switch things around and budget better.
I too struggle with the situation of having more children. And as far as birth control, well, I was on birth control with my last pregnancy and I had twins! LOL. So that was God telling me something, lol.
God will lead you in the right direction. Everything happens for a reason, even the hard times when we struggle. Everything will work out just fine. Let's just remember, God has planned every birth even before it happens. If you were meant for another baby then it is in heaven waiting for the right time to be born. God Doesn't make mistakes :0)

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Posted by gokings13

IF you believe God is bigger than a pill..........
Then know, that God's Love and encouragement is greater than any hurtful words.

A) 41 is not 71. :-)
B) Great is YOUR reward in Heaven for your obedience to HIM.
C) If your dh is in total agreement, then who gives a rip what ANYONE else has to say.
D) Start praying NOW that you will be an encouragement to your daughters / daughter's in law, not a destroyer.
E) Grab your Bible and seek out all the Scripture that talks about serving GOD not man........write them down, stick them on the refridge, the walls, the mirrors.......let it be known in your home that you serve the LORD first.

Being raised by a negative feminist stinks. This I know first hand.
But God is bigger than even that.
Thank you Jesus!!!
Laura

Little side story: My oldest talked about being a pharmisist. Six years of college and about 100,000.00 in student debt.
She changed her mind. She's going to Culinary Arts school.
Why?
She said "I don't want to go to school for 6 years, waste 100K only to never use this degree, because once I get married and have kids, I am staying home. If I go to Culinary Arts school, I can open my own business, or just make great meals for my family".
That's a 17 year old thinking!!!!


Edited by gokings13 on Monday, June 9, 2008 at 07:10

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