Disagreements. We all have them. I would venture to say that there’s not a married couple on this earth that hasn’t had any disagreements. Disagreements, if not handled properly, can turn into quarrels. Quarrels can turn into out-right verbal fights.
What are some of the results of disagreements gone awry?
- raised voices
- the “silent treatment”
- the “cold shoulder”
- slammed doors
- ……and more.
The best of married couples have probably experienced at least one of the above things if not more. Would you agree?
So how do we try to handle those disagreements properly and in a healthy manner? We’re going to take a look at God’s Word and discuss some ways that we, as wives, can handle disagreements with our husbands.
#1 - Pray
This is the very first thing we can do. And as simplistic as it may sound, it may not be very easy to do when we’re in the middle of a disagreement. Read the following Scriptures:
Proverbs 17:14 – “The beginning of strife is like letting out water, So abandon the quarrel before it breaks out.” (NASB)
James 5:16 – “Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” (NASB)
When we are in the midst of a disagreement, why not stop right at the beginning and say to our husbands, “Let’s pray about this before we discuss it any further.” James 5:16 tells us that “The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” Then, offer up a prayer asking God to help each of you react and respond and communicate in a healthy, Godly way. If stopping right then with your spouse to pray together is not practical at that moment, then quietly/silently offer up a prayer yourself for you as well as on behalf of your spouse. Doing so may very well prevent the disagreement from breaking out into an all out quarrel.
#2 - Be Committed to Fully Listen
Consider the following Scriptures:
Proverbs 18:13 – “He who gives an answer before he hears, It is folly and shame to him.” (NASB)
James 1:19-20 – “This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.” (NASB)
Even though you may disagree, be committed to fully listening to your spouse before commenting. Scripture tells us that we need to be quicker to listen instead of quicker to talking. The fact is, we may find that if we truly, intently listen to our spouse, we may not always completely disagree. This leads us to number three.
#3 – Watch the Mouth
Watch what you say. I Peter 3:8-9 says, “To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.” (NASB)
When people are upset, many have the tendency to want to fight back or get even with their words. Don’t do this. Try to understand where your spouse is coming from. Try not to stand fast in pride because you think you are right no matter what and thus refuse to hear your spouse’s point of view. Whether you’re right or not, let humility cloak your responses and your attitude.
#4 – Remember Your Role
Ladies, we may not always like it, but God calls us to submit to our husbands. (I Peter 3:1-2) In the end, our husbands bear the responsibility of leading us and our families. They need us to give them the freedom to make decisions without us constantly griping and complaining every time we disagree. Once we’ve shared our side/our view of the issue, we need to let our spouses make the decision. Whether we can support their decision or not, we can trust God with it all. Leaving things in our husband’s hands may not always be easy, but we can know that God is in control and He can take care of whatever concerns us. Psalm 62:8 says, “Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.” (NASB) We can pour out every single concern, frustration, and hurt to God. He is our refuge. We can take it all to Him and trust Him with it.
#5 – Try to Have the Right Mindset
Finally, let tenderness, kindness, and forgiveness season your mindset. Strive for these. Be gentle and loving with your words. Speak kindly. Offer forgiveness because God has forgiven you much. Be willing to forgive and let it go. Life is too short to hang on to anger and frustrations. Do not let the day end in anger. (Ephesians 4:26) Work through it, forgive, love, and move on.
©2008 Karen at The T.A.G. Blog www.homesteadblogger.com/tagblog
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