For this week's discussion, Lisa at A Second Generation of Homeschooling is our host. Our discussion question(s) are the following:
"How can we lay a welcome mat of love for our husbands after a long day of hard work? How can we make our homes inviting places where Daddy longs to be at the end of a long day? How can we involve our children in this process and teach them to show reverence to their Daddy?"
I have to say that the discussion questions we've had so far have been awesome. And this weeks is no exception! Ah....expressing love to our husbands through our actions...that's how I see laying out a welcome mat of love for my hubby after working all day. However, in our case, it's a little different. My husband works third shift so he is coming home early in the morning. Most times, I am already awake with Sugarplum (our 6 month old). Our older daughter is usually always asleep. I normally give him a hug and kiss. I also usually ask him how his night at work has been. He will usually give me a general answer. If Sugarplum is still awake, he spends a little time with her. Sometimes we'll talk and his answers are more detailed if he's not exhausted. But usually he's pretty tired. He then heads to bed. I usually wake him up at a certain time. When I do, we have a normal routine. I go and wake him up and we spend a short amount of time snuggling and talking about his work. We also talk about other things as well. Then he gets up and ready for the day. While he is getting ready for the day, I usually go and prepare him a breakfast drink.
When it comes to things I can do to express my love to my husband after a long day of work, I try to think of things that he likes, things that are helpful to him, etc. One of the biggest things I try to do is make sure that the house is straight before I go to bed at night. My hubby likes walking in to a straight home. I don't blame him, I'm the same way. Another thing I tried to do when my hubby worked in the daytime was to try and make sure things were calm in our home when he walked in the door. My older daughter always wanted to give him a hug as soon as he walked in the door. So she would give him a hug and then we tried to give him a few minutes to get changed and wind down. Regardless of the time that he has worked (day or night), I almost always ask him how his day or night at work was as well as give him a hug and kiss.
I think those two things are things that we can do to make our husbands enjoy being home. Yet, there is one more thing that I think is a crucial element to creating an atmosphere in the home so that our husbands can enjoy being home. And that has to do with our attitudes as wives.
Our attitudes as wives and mothers is crucial not only for ourselves but for our family! I have to share with you that recently we've had to have some discussions with our children about not complaining and arguing. In recent months, I feel like the thing God has been trying to help me learn is about the power of our words. It's been a theme for awhile now. I've really begun to see how important and powerful our words can be. And I've been teaching our children this concept as well. As I've been talking to my children about not complaining, I've been taking to heart my instruction to them. As a mom, they learn from my example. If I'm telling them not to complain and give Scripture to them about it but then turn around and do a bit of complaining myself, what is that teaching them? Sure, we all have our moments - children and adults alike - when it comes to complaining. Sometimes complaining words just flow right out of our mouths so easily! BUT (you knew that was coming right?) Scripture does exhort us to do everything without complaining or arguing. As I began to really watch my words, I would find myself start to say something negative or with a complaining edge and then stop and say, "No, I will not complain. We are speaking positively." And then try to find something positive. So, when I'm tempted to complain about all the laundry that we go through and how I never seem to be able to keep an empty laundry basket....I can choose to remember that myself and my family are blessed to have clothing to wear. I can choose to remember that doing laundry helps my family and that is one way I can serve them. We can almost always find something positive. Maybe we could be like Pollyanna and play the glad game.  So what's all this got to do with our husbands? A LOT!!! Consider this:
A joyful, happy, content wife is a blessing to her husband. As she completes the needed tasks each day to keep the household running smoothly, she frees her husband up to do what he needs to do – indeed what he is called to do. If the wife is running the household, the husband is freed up to help in any manner he would like out of desire to help – not absolute need to get things done. As the wife is content in her role, she becomes a joy to her husband. Her husband does not have to worry that he will have to deal with a negative, discontented wife when he’s at home. This in turn makes the husband enjoy being home more because he does not have to be around a nagging, negative mentality. In addition, a wife who is surrendered to God can more readily walk in freedom and thus be able to fulfill her role in the power of Christ. She realizes that as a wife, her primary goal is to help her husband. I believe this includes supporting her spouse. A man could tell you how important it is to have a wife that lovingly supports and encourages him. It is the wind in his sail. If he feels supported and respected at home, he will feel he can accomplish what he needs to accomplish.
As far as involving our children and teaching them to reverence their fathers, I think example is huge. I first need to BE an example through what I do. When I serve my husband and want to bless him and do things for him, my children see that. When we're straightening up the house before we go to bed, I can explain to them that making the house nice and neat before Daddy comes home is one way we can make Daddy feel better. Because him being able to walk into a neat home is a good feeling for him. Conversating (is that a word????) with the children about why we do things for Daddy and about respecting his position as well as honoring him and serving him is important. Off and on I'll have conversations with the children about how hard their Daddy works. That's something we need to be so thankful for. And we all need to adopt the attitude that is joyful and happy to do things for him.
I'm not perfect and goodness knows I make many mistakes. It took me a few years to get to where I am now as a wife. Praise the Lord He has been continually molding me and shaping me. I am so thankful for my husband and my children. They are huge blessings to me. And I want to be a blessing to them.
©2008 KRL The T.A.G. Blog http://www.homesteadblogger.com/tagblog
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