Discussion on Assignment #8
Ouch! What a chapter! I don't know about you but I found myself underlining a lot in this chapter and even having a couple of toes stepped on. I was a willing listener to what I needed to hear. And I pray I can make the needed changes. This chapter dealt with lies women believe about marriage. One of the huge issues tackled was that of submission. There was so much in this chapter, that I am going to share some of the things that stood out to me and/or that I thought was really good.
"The Truth is that contentment is not found in having everything we think we want but in choosing to be satisfied with what God has already provided. The Truth is that those who insist on having their own way often end up with unnecessary heartache, while those who wait on the Lord always get His best." (pg. 140)
Wow - how true that is! When we continue to push our own way, God may very well let us have it OUR way. But then He very well may also let us have the consequences that go along with OUR way. Had we chosen God's way, we would've avoided those consequences and been better off because God's way is ALWAYS best no matter how hard it may seem.
"The Truth is that God did not make the man to be a 'helper' to the woman. He made the woman to be a 'helper' to the man." (pg. 142)
I have to be completely honest here. This is one that stepped on my toes. Not because I didn't want to hear it. But because I know that I haven't always helped my husband as much as I could have. In fact, there was a time when, if a person looked at my husband and I, they would see my husband being more the helper than me. Not that it was intentional on my part. And not that I was trying to be selfish. I just didn't realize how much my husband was trying to suit me more than me suiting my husband. The author is so right here. I was created to be my husband's helper. Whatever I can do to help him, I need to try to do (realistically speaking here). I am trying so much more now to be more of a help to him. I want him to be freed up to do the things he needs to do and wants to do.
"Blessing and joy are the fruit of seeking to be a giver rather than a taker and of looking for ways to bless, serve, and minister to the needs of our families." (pg. 143)
"...In the climate of the 60s, where women were encouraged to pursue independence, careers, personal recognition, and self-satisfaction, my mother modeled a differed role - one in which a woman adapts to the heart and calling of her husband. Rather than expecting her husband's life to revolve around her needs and interests, her lifestyle revolved around her husband's..." (pg. 144)
"Satan knows that if we could see the Truth about biblical submission - one of the most liberating principles in all of God's Word - we would joyfully embrace it. He cannot afford to let us choose the pathway of submission, for when we do, he is stripped of his authority and rendered powerless in our lives and in the lives of those we love." (pg. 146)
"God created the woman to be a 'helper suitable' to her husband. That means he needs her help. He needs the input and insight she is able to bring to various situations. It also means that once a wife has graciously and humbly expressed her heart on a matter, if her husband chooses to act contrary to her counsel, she must be willing to back off and trust God with the consequences of her husband's decision." (pg. 147)
I appreciated how she stated the above. She was able to clearly point out that our husbands need us. We are to be a helper that is suitable to our husbands. Our husbands need our input. However, once we've given that input, we must be willing to let it be and put it in God's hands. This is especially hard when our husbands don't agree with our viewpoint. I know for me, it is so easy to try to push my thoughts and my way of seeing something onto my husband. I want him to agree with my viewpoint. But let's face it - no two people always agree all the time. And we need to not only have the freedom to disagree but to extend that freedom to our husbands as well. Yet while we have the freedom to disagree, as wives, once we have shared our opinion, we need to leave it in God's hands and allow our husbands to fulfill their role and make the decision. The author goes on to point out that the bottom line is that ultimately our trust must be in God. We can trust God even when our husbands go against what we feel is best. Here's what the author has to say about trusting God and submitting to our husbands:
"I have discovered that the fundamental issue in relation to submission really comes down to my willingness to trust God and to place myself under His authority." (pg. 149)
"Our willingness to place ourselves under God-ordained authority is the greatest evidence of how big we believe God really is." (pg. 149)
"Submission is simply a demonstration of her confidence in the sovereign power of the Lord God." (pg. 151)
"You must be willing to let him fail - believing that ultimately, your security is not in your husband but in a sovereign God who is not going to fail you." (pg. 154)
Our Memory Work
"'Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.'"
- John 8:32 (NIV)
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free..."
- Galatians 5:1 (NIV)
Assignment
Reading
Read section one of chapter seven - pages 167-172.
Questions
We are only reading one section of our chapter this week. I have chosen to do this because this very first section is a very sensitive subject that can bring about a LOT of feelings. Take your time with this assignment. I am offering the following questions for thought:
(1) What is your current view of determining the size of your family? Is this the same view you held in the past or is it different? Explain.
(2) Think about how you view the issue of birth control. Does your view line up with God's view of birth control? Give Scriptures to show God's view.
These questions are pretty personal. You do not have to share your answers on your blog.
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If you'd like to participate in this book study, please read the book study information by clicking here. After reading the information, you can join in with us each Monday.
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